First off, TravelerKai, you make a lot of good points, and we may NOT be in disagreement about a large number of your points. Since you make so many points, I will respond to them below.
Quote: (08-14-2014 12:27 AM)TravelerKai Wrote:
Another reality? How so. Be more specific.
That characterization may be a little stronger than I had intended it to be, yet part of my point was meant to be that you had seemed to be coming across as if the solution to all of these kinds of situations is merely to be more Alpha in everything and that will help to ensure that a girl stays with you, once in the US.
To me, your tone came off as a bit dogmatic, generalizing and judgmental, even though you may NOT have intended it to be that way.
There are guys from a large number of experiences and ages in this forum, so I expected that your earlier post may have been attempting to pigeonhole guys into certain expectation categories. For example, i am in my late 40s, but I would NOT want to bring a girl/woman 20 years my junior to the US unless I have test driven the relationship quite extensively in a variety of scenarios.
On the other hand, even though I have gotten older, I tend to prefer having relationships with younger women to the extent that it is feasible because I do NOT generally like all the baggage that older women begin to develop and then I have to deal with that variety of extra baggage. In that regard, I would most likely NOT want to bring a girl of 20 or more years my junior back to the US unless I feel she is sufficiently vetted to my liking.. Nonetheless, I have the sense that I would be more easily able to maintain those kinds of relations in a variety of overseas locations without as much fleeing problems from the girl.. because overseas there are different opportunities available as compared in the US.
My earlier response was NOT meant to be about me, but about what any guy may experience, including OP. In that regard, OP would need to weigh the situation and consider the obstacles in light of his own preferences and risk tolerance.. and flight risk is one of the obstacles if bringing a girl back to the US and then if she is exposed to increase opportunities.
Quote: (08-14-2014 12:27 AM)TravelerKai Wrote:
A man 20 years older than a woman and bringing her back will automatically have a hard time keeping her inside the US? Prove it. You will find some unlucky sap and I will find another that had the opposite happen.
You seem to be attempting to turn this into an argument, and I don't see any reason to argue about something like this. I'm NOT sure what I am in need of proving. There is going to be a risk whenever a guy may attempt to hook up with a girl long term that may NOT be a very close match for his ability to keep her, and age is one of the differences that need to be accounted for.
Quote: (08-14-2014 12:27 AM)TravelerKai Wrote:
Unless you we can fully examine each person in depth and pick everything apart, its just another anonymous story. What are guys trying to do in the first place? Are you trying to bring back a wife? A glorified girlfriend? A fuck buddy? Sneak a ladyboy back?
You are correct here. We do need to assess what it is that we are wanting to get from the relationship to make sure that there is a fit, whether for long term or for short term or any other term. I believe that OP was NOT clear exactly on this point, but he seemed to be considering more of a longer term relationship situation.
Quote: (08-14-2014 12:27 AM)TravelerKai Wrote:
All women want a man with a plan and a vision. It's not rocket science.
I don't believe it is rocket science either, but there can be several factors that guys need to consider in order to develop his plan and/or vision and then to modify and reconsider such plan or vision if circumstances warrant such.
Quote: (08-14-2014 12:27 AM)TravelerKai Wrote:
Trying to lock up any woman is foolish. Like Nemencine likes to say, "Pussy belongs to no man." You never lock any woman up. They stay with you because they want to be with you. Because they need you. They cannot live without you. You make them feel complete. My wife tells me that I am her world. Women are not phased by great dick strokes in the end. Sex is emotional for them, not physical. Money itself does not keep pussy wet. It's a combination of a few key things.
If we are talking about a longer term relationship, and you are wanting to work on creating these dynamics because that is what you are looking for, then I agree with your above.
Quote: (08-14-2014 12:27 AM)TravelerKai Wrote:
They want security, love/affection, and direction. If you hit all 3 for that woman, she is yours and no one will take her from you. If she leaves it is because of a lapse or failure of one of those 3. A woman with good traditional values is even less likely to jump ship if one or two of those fails, but will instead fight to help you get back on those.
Yes, if you are looking for a Long term relation - LTR, then this may be a fairly comprehensive list of three, if that LTR is what a guy wants to get into.
Quote: (08-14-2014 12:27 AM)TravelerKai Wrote:
And finally, stay in your lane. Too many guys that cannot handle a Ferrari, get caught up and get pissed and upset when they lose em. You rent or lease exotic cars. You don't buy them unless you can afford the maintenance on them. I know a guy that spends around 800 dollars to change the oil in his lambo. He owns his because he is rich enough to wipe his ass with the cash required to buy one. If you are running around tricking money on hoes that are 8-10s that you could never keep in the US, don't bring them back here then. Get a 7 that is humble.
A guy will have to come to his own judgement regarding whether he believes a girl is out of his league or NOT or whether he believes that he can handle her. If he makes a bad judgement, then he should have an escape plan that does NOT cause him to get screwed over. And, if he does get screwed over to make sure that the screwing over is NOT too bad to deal with.
Quote: (08-14-2014 12:27 AM)TravelerKai Wrote:
Also, the fact that you associate a man's looks in terms of the female's looks, does not refute my points. Men are graded and judged on what they are and what they accomplished. Not their sheer looks. Especially outside of America. I have seen guys so ugly I would grade them a 4 that had Chinese 8's. Thing is, we don't know what these men have done. We don't know what is in their pocketbooks.
I was just attempting to make a quick example by using age as a consideration and the rating system also... just to make a point about how these may need to be taken into account when there is a difference between them. Otherwise, I largely agree with the points that you are making, here.
Quote: (08-14-2014 12:27 AM)TravelerKai Wrote:
Guys in the US go abroad and get girls that are too similar to what they got rid of here, then come back on travel forums and shit all over foreign women. Maybe the problem is with you. Not the women.
You are referring to an experience that I am NOT clear about whether guys on various forums shit on girls because the guys made bad judgements or that they got screwed.
I do NOT generally have those kinds of perceptions of myself getting screwed by women because of relationships that I have gotten into, though sometimes a person can get into all kinds of relationships in which the expectations are different based on geography and culture, and then the relationship may NOT work out in part because the relationship was rushed into or that some factors may have changed over time. I have had these kinds of circumstances develop in my relationship, but I do NOT hold grudges, even if the girl was the one that seemed to have been disingenuous with her portrayal of her intentions.
Quote: (08-14-2014 12:27 AM)TravelerKai Wrote:
Traditional women are more likely to chase the best provider they can find, looks be damned.
This tends to be true in a lot of situations whether the women are traditional or NOT.
Quote: (08-14-2014 12:27 AM)TravelerKai Wrote:
A woman that is a 10 is not an automatic Ferrari in terms of behavior, but if they are wild, don't try to lock her down. It always ends badly. I have dated many women that are more of a hot rod than my wife and they are not even as pretty as she is. Hoes are community property. Bargirls and women of questionable character are not meant to be locked down. They are the heifers in the pasture free to roam the ranges. You rope it, you fight it.
I largely agree with this series of statements.