It seems like you are making some basic mistakes when it comes to urban Brazilian girls. In a nutshell, you're being thirsty and relying too much on online game - at least that's what I gather from your post.
The hierarchy of game in SP, in my opinion, is:
1) Night game
2) Social circle game (especially when used with night game)
3) Day game
4) Online
Quote: (09-30-2018 08:25 AM)fvitterbi Wrote:
1) so far i've been disappointed -most of the online girls who were interested in me started ignoring me when i got here, even though I could speak portuguese. In fact some even blocked me hours before the date. I also day gamed, and some girls who were super into me, just started ignoring/blocking. - I had planned to come here in 2013 and i had some 30 girls messaging me repeatedly -now it seems all foreign/American value is gone. I'm not used to such rejection. Your thoughts?
2) building attraction: I guess I was told girls here would be easy, more sexual , and smarter/more intellectual than other "latin" countries and i've found them to be far harder and colder. I should state that i'm in my mid 30's, tan skin, but no grey hair..I do know that Brazil is a superficial place,-body-focused, but the guys here look like shit, so I'm confused as to why these girls can have such high standards-i've been able to generate 7 and 8 quality attraction with no problem in Medellin which is a tough place.-any advice on building attraction besides hitting the gym for a few months b/f i come back to live here? when i sent girls selfies and things they seemed to like them but maybe it was a fassad.-i read on the forum that if you want an easy time in SP you have to be part of the 1% most attractive, really? why?
3) And regarding game, they never ask where i'm from when they hear my accent, even compound baiting doesn't result in much. I've tried direct-high rejection rate, but might be that i'm gaming Paulista... indirect-starting to try - i find a lot of girls sort of ignore me when i try being friendly- and trying to generate attraction - is it just Sao Paulo or why so cold?
some people talked about going direct-kino , excuse my ignorance here but how do you do that when you go to a mall and a girl is with her friends... just tell her you thought she was cute, DHV, make a joke and maybe touch her arm or something?
4) lastly-what's up with this huge flake rate/ whatsapp and facebook blocking? one girl told me that Brazil has become dangerous- candidly Paulista isn't dangerous at all, everyone is using their cell phone while walking...i've offered to send Ubers for girls to bring them here, meet at Starbucks, and send them an uber home at night. -i've only got 2 girls to go out with me and banged both on date 1, but i've got another 40 who i can't even get out-much lower % than even high flake places like Medellin.
maybe i need to create more comfort-take videos of the apartment, videos of myself?
To address your points:
1) I've been saying it for a long time - dating apps have only gone downhill in SP for the past four years or so. There was a golden age when you could bang a many new 7's a month off of Tinder. I surfed that wave while it lasted, so it was clear to me when the good times were over. Unless you are at the very very top of the food chain now, and have the patience of a saint to deal with a ton of messaging, why bother.
On the girls' flakiness: can't say I'm surprised. Brazilian girls are flaky in general, even more so online. It comes with the territory.
2) Don't base your attractiveness scale off of online results. I would consider myself a 7/8. In real life i do well, yet I don't get good results online. Also, what do you mean "guys look like shit"? Bad style, bad grooming? Girls in Brazil like fit guys who game aggressively and approach, approach, approach. YMMV depending on your scene and venue, of course, but there's decent leeway for "ugly" guys if they make up for it with good game and aggressiveness.
(I mean, that's Game 101, isn't it?)
In my experience, there's no such thing as an "easy time" in SP. It's a 3rd world NYC, it's not supposed to be easy. But when it's good, it's real good.
Things can become easy when you find your niche, have a good social circle and a bit of cash to spare (much less than you'd think), but obviously that takes some time.
Of course if you are a Swedish model with a R$1000 a night budget the sky is the limit, but besides a handful of people, that's just unrealistic.
3) There's two things you need to take into account when daygaming in SP.
#1, it's a big city, so people have no time to waste;
#2 it's a dangerous city, so people are always looking out for possible signs of danger - hence why sometimes girls react weird when approached during the day.
In Brazil, there's not such thing as day game. There's cat calling, of course, but other than that most girls have probably never been approached by interesting men with good game during their daily lifes.
So what you are taking for girls ignoring you, might just be them not wanting to expose themselves to danger or not having time to waste. I suspect that has to do with the time of the day and the location you're attempting to game at. You will have very different reactions if you day game somewhere people don't have time constraints or worry about their safety, like at a park or at Paulista on Sundays, when it's closed off for traffic and it becomes a boardwalk.
4) I suspect your eagerness to meet with them is translating as thirst and making them paranoid. You're scaring the cat.
An Uber ride, which to you may be just a few bucks, to them seems like something that guys barely ever do for them, especially on a first date. There's a saying in Portuguese that goes something like "when the alms is too generous, even God will suspect". You'd be better off being less eager, even if it costs you part of your numbers. Then again, if they're from online, some of them you're never going to meet anyways.
Also, coffeeshop dates aren't that common, you'd be better off suggesting a meet for a beer at a boteco (if you drink). If you don't, invite them out for ice cream (always worked better for me than coffee).
Lastly, on danger: Paulista is not São Paulo, and São Paulo is not Brazil. When you say Paulista is not dangerous, you are kind of right. Maybe you don't see crimes there often, besides a quick mugging on a bycicle or pickpocketing. But depending on the girls you are trying to game, they might live in a lower income area where there's plenty of police violence, harassing, shady crackheads/beggars, gun or knifepoint muggings, kidnapping, etc. Don't let your eyes fool you; just because you don't see shit happening in a small, high income area of SP, it doesn't mean it doesn't happen a few kilometers from there.
I'd suggest you read some of my posts in this thread, many of the things I wrote above I had already addressed before upthread.