[shanefalco]

Hey Guys,

I have a quick question for everyone. I have been trying to go out by myself to really work on my game, and I'm really confused about something that happened.

I went out and found an empty seat right at the bar. A bunch of girls out for their bachelorette party ended up seating next to me.

I tried as best I can to be cocky/funny to them, and for the most part, I thought completely bombed. I didn't think I got any positive reactions to anything I said. (I don't know if I can read body language correctly yet).

By the end of the night though, two things happened. I got a # from one girl who really wants to meet up next time I'm out in her area (she lives across the state). But, another girl, came up to me, pulled me away, and told me she wanted to give me advice. She basically said that if I wanted to start picking up girls, I had to stop being a nice guy, and start being a jerk.

Now I'm really confused by this girl. Over the course of the night, I tried to do everything different than what I used to do. If they asked me for a favor, I ignored them. If they said I should buy the bride a drink, I said no. They had a list of tasks for the bride to do to guys (all stupid beta tasks), and I completely ignored all their requests, while other guys basically did anything they wanted.

I didn't think I acted like a nice guy at all. So my questions are, if you are talking to a group, can a guy come off as a cocky guy to one girl, but a nice guy to another? I thought I treated everyone the same. Are there any tips to come off that you are treating the whole group the same. Also, was the girl who told me I was too nice trying to pick me up, or was she actually saying that I was too nice?

Finally, on a different note, has anyone had problems with alcohol and pickup? What I mean is, have people had problems with alcohol as a crutch when they go out? If so, how do you get over it? I'm finding that when I go out by myself, I end up drinking a lot more than when I'm out with my friends, and it's really screwing me up sometimes with stuff I say.

Thanks guys.

[Caligula]

(04-16-2011 09:29 PM)shanefalco Wrote:  

Finally, on a different note, has anyone had problems with alcohol and pickup? What I mean is, have people had problems with alcohol as a crutch when they go out? If so, how do you get over it? I'm finding that when I go out by myself, I end up drinking a lot more than when I'm out with my friends, and it's really screwing me up sometimes with stuff I say.

Thanks guys.

There are other threads where the pros/cons of alcohol are discussed in more depth.

http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-2005.html
http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-1791.html

When rolling solo I'd start with a drink to losen up. Then another. And another. In the end I'd drink way more than I would otherwise because it was something to do between sets. I mistakenly believed that it would make things easier.

My solution was to completely stop drinking alcohol when out alone. In the beginning it was tough, almost like starting from scratch again. Approach anxiety was back and I had a lot of awkward moments. But the more I approached, the more positive reinforcement I got that I could do this without alcohol.

I also realised that I'd been fucking up things like escalating, isolating, and otherwise seeing things through because drinking made me unfocused. I'd drop the ball on good prospects and wander too much.

Once the excuse of "I'll have one more drink and then approach some more" was gone it's been much easier to focus on just opening sets and handling business. Now I'll work on what there is in a venue and move on to the next one instead of hanging around and killing the boredom by drinking.

My day game also improved because the line between day/night approaches that was drawn by being buzzed went away.

[Imthattypeofguy]

(04-16-2011 09:29 PM)shanefalco Wrote:  

if you are talking to a group, can a guy come off as a cocky guy to one girl, but a nice guy to another? I thought I treated everyone the same. Are there any tips to come off that you are treating the whole group the same. Also, was the girl who told me I was too nice trying to pick me up, or was she actually saying that I was too nice?

Don’t treat them all the same. You should be general with her friends but your main focus should be on the one you’re trying to hit. Some women like a$$holes and some like “nice” guys, you just need to figure out your audience.

(04-16-2011 09:29 PM)shanefalco Wrote:  

Finally, on a different note, has anyone had problems with alcohol and pickup? What I mean is, have people had problems with alcohol as a crutch when they go out? If so, how do you get over it? I'm finding that when I go out by myself, I end up drinking a lot more than when I'm out with my friends, and it's really screwing me up sometimes with stuff I say.

Alcohol a/k/a liquid courage can be a good thing but you need to know your limits. I travel overseas by myself a lot and I drink at every club/bar. I normally drink vodka w/ juice (having maybe 3 drinks and hour) but after every 2 glasses of alcohol, I drink 1 -2 glasses of either water or straight juice.

[Chad Daring]

I have the exact same issue with booze when I'm out rollin dolo. My new plan thats been working alright is to first know your limit, then figure if you can pre-game or not (saving money is always a good thing).

For pregamming go to a liquor store and get one of those little 50ml bottles and put it in your pocket. Get to where you're going and knock it back then ditch the bottle so you dont have an open container.

After that, BRING CASH ONLY, that way you cant open a tab and keep dropping drinks on it. Having cash will force you to deal with how much you have left and then slow down if you start to speed up.

If you know it takes 10 drinks in 4 hours to get you tipped, bring enough cash for 5.