[The_CEO]

this is a rather idiotic question but here goes...

Lately (or maybe I've just been noticing it more), I've been getting some intense eye contact and what is referred to as IOI's I guess, during the day for the most part.

For some reason it's kind of surprising to me, and I'm not sure what to do from there... I mean, there's a lot of discussion and good info about whether to go indirect or direct...or how to approach if a girl's not aware of you...

But what is your approach when you get a look like that during the day (where a girl basically makes eye contact with you and holds it..)?

[FretDancer]

Well you could just go and hit off with "Hi ", you pretty much have you're ticket to go with that eye contact IoI. Or you could approach with a comment/funny question regarding she eyeing you.

[Screwston]

Is this a serious question? Come on man just go up to her and say hi like fretdancer said. She's eyeing u for a reason

[docsedated]

Some possible replies

1. Don't look at me like that I might fall in love.

2. If you are going to look at me like that, you should atleast come over and talk to me first.

Some one holds the eye contact for few, is definitely an IOI, don't let it pass, actually kick yourself in the Ass if you don't say anything to an obvious IOI like roosh says........

During day game you have to be more careful but can take more liberty at night like......

1. Look at me like this one more time and I am going to kiss you, I bet she will look at you right then and yes you plant one right there

Game on Brothers...........

[FretDancer]

Quote:

2. If you are going to look at me like that, you should atleast come over and talk to me first.

Loving this one! Gonna try it sometime.

[Kickb]

Ha good thread. I have a bit more to add to it



Sometimes, i go blank and cant think of anything to say after thirty seconds. for instance, after you say If you are going to look at me like that, you should atleast come over and talk to me first. she is going to comeback at you with something. After that you would banter on this subject for a few more seconds. But after that line has served its purpose of getting you into the game with her what would you say next?

[tjuan]

Solid eye contact where she holds and smiles is like fast tracking you in the approach, what normally takes several minutes to achieve is already there; you can basically instadate or close off of this. Don't let them get away with ogling at you!

[Selva]

I suggest that whenever you see a girl looking at you to go talk to her right away. I have a really good closing rate with girls who give me attention first.

You don't have to have any lines or anything, just go up and say hello. Look for something about the situation that you can say to start up the conversation, especially something kind of amusing to lighten up the mood.

Also, get her to start talking about herself. Everyone's favorite subject to talk about is themselves, so if you can get her to start talking about what makes her a cool person she will be more at ease, plus it takes the pressure off of you. Now all you have to do is follow up what she says with agreement or more questions and you're golden.

[hydrogonian]

Waving

A great way to break the ice when there is solid eye contact (or even not), but some distance between you, is a small wave. Try it. You'll be surprised. It moves your eye contact from mere gazing, which could be either psycho behavior or confidence as far as she is concerned, to something which definitely projects normal social adjustment as well as real confidence.

I don't mean to wave your hand back and forth. I mean to suggest that you cup your hand in a 'C' shape, hold it to chest level, and just move your fingers up and down. Its real easy to do and will get a response. Best case scenario and what happens most often: She waves back, there is an understanding that you have made a small connection, and with her acknowledgment you now have better confidence to go up and talk. She will expect it.

Worst case scenario: No wave. She keeps going or ignores you. You never even had to approach to discover that she's either cold or uninterested (although its good practice to approach these women anyway). Trust me when I say that there is zero penalty for your ego. This means that you can freely wave all day long if you are otherwise prone to feeling down when rejected. Also, even the small gesture of a return wave will slowly build your confidence to where rejection doesn't effect you as much when you interact with women in general. Deep stuff, I know Also, that small social wave somehow seems to connote that you have an increased level of social awareness, charm and it seems very outgoing.

I wave at women everywhere. On the street. In elevators. Anywhere that there is eye contact or where you want to get her attention.

To summarize: Its fun, social, breaks the ice, counts as a small but real interaction (confidence and numbers - be sure to approach if you get a return wave), it can often slow or stop women in mid-stride, it can get her attention (if you don't already have it via eye contact), and it moves along the interaction if you do have her attention via eye contact.

[Gmac]

Sometimes when I'm in a less crowded place I'll point at a girl who was checking me out and wave her over. If she walks over, she's interested and I open then. If she doesn't move or looks away, you've lost nothing. If anything, you can use the fact that she ignored you to approach her and open anyway. Sometimes I'll do something that makes no sense like point at her, then a prop, my watch, or something like a drink, then back to me. Half the time the girl will be so confused/intrigued to ask what the fuck I was talking about but by then you've already got her.

I should note though that I much prefer opening with an actual comment rather than waving someone over, but if it works it works.

[FretDancer]

(03-13-2011 09:39 PM)kickboxer Wrote:  

Ha good thread. I have a bit more to add to it



Sometimes, i go blank and cant think of anything to say after thirty seconds. for instance, after you say If you are going to look at me like that, you should atleast come over and talk to me first. she is going to comeback at you with something. After that you would banter on this subject for a few more seconds. But after that line has served its purpose of getting you into the game with her what would you say next?

You begin to ask usual personal questions, like what she's doing around here, what's her name, etc. That should give plenty of material I think.

[Aliblahba]

(03-14-2011 03:53 PM)Gmac Wrote:  

Sometimes when I'm in a less crowded place I'll point at a girl who was checking me out and wave her over. If she walks over, she's interested and I open then. If she doesn't move or looks away, you've lost nothing. If anything, you can use the fact that she ignored you to approach her and open anyway. Sometimes I'll do something that makes no sense like point at her, then a prop, my watch, or something like a drink, then back to me. Half the time the girl will be so confused/intrigued to ask what the fuck I was talking about but by then you've already got her.

I should note though that I much prefer opening with an actual comment rather than waving someone over, but if it works it works.

I like to motion for the girl to approach also. Bring her to your world, not the other way around. If she plays the "no you come hither" game write "I win" w/ a smiley on a napkin. Fold it up, look at her, then the napkin. Look the other way and mysteriously slide the napkin in her direction. Remove you hand and continue to ignore her. Women are curious lil creatures and most of the time will take the bait. Remember, she is already making eye contact and is interested. Once she opens the note and realizes she's been punked look at her and smile. The rest should be easy.

Once the girl wouldn't approach so I wrote "STALKER" w/ smiley on the note, left it on the table, and walked out. She read the note and chased me down. hehe.

Worse case if they don't take the note approach anyway. When she asks what's on it refuse to tell. Make her wait till the next day to see it.

[Selva]

(03-14-2011 04:31 PM)Aliblahba Wrote:  

If she plays the "no you come hither" game write "I win" w/ a smiley on a napkin. Fold it up, look at her, then the napkin. Look the other way and mysteriously slide the napkin in her direction. Remove you hand and continue to ignore her. Women are curious lil creatures and most of the time will take the bait. Remember, she is already making eye contact and is interested. Once she opens the note and realizes she's been punked look at her and smile. The rest should be easy.

That is a slick move. I am going to remember this. Thanks.

[hydrogonian]

The only thing that I don't like about an 'come here' gesture is that its making a request which can be accepted or rejected. I can come up with a variety of reasons that she won't approach: she thinks that you are too cocky, she's too nervous to approach, noncompliance his her version of 'gaming' you, etc..

She hasn't had any interaction with you and therefore you are just a face in a crowd. Non-compliance is likely for a high percentage of women. But then again, it depends on the nature of the eye contact and the environment.

I tend to stay away from offering her compliance acceptance/rejection decision opportunities, of any kind, until at least the end of the first date. It cuts down on games and increases results, in my experience. Girls will over think that shit to her and your detriment. One non-compliance decision on her part and she has the upper hand, for the most part.

For a guy that can't think of something to do when eye contact occurs, I think that an emphasis on maximizing ego boosting experiences and minimizing rejection opportunities is smart.

Not to take away from it if it works for you guys, but I just want to offer another view to the OP.

[Chad Daring]

This thread just answered a lot of questions that came up for me last night, one thing I didnt see though.

What do you do if a girl gives you that locked on gaze, but she's swamped with 2+ people? This happened to me twice last night where a cute girl would look up, I'd look over, we'd catch eyes, but she kept talking to the group. They're really wrapped up in convo and there's no cleary path (full table) to get to her.

I like the wave idea because its subtle and it lets her know that you recognized the IOI and gives her reason to break from her group. IS

Do corny lines work in this situation just to open, the "Do I know you?" kinda lines?

[Kickb]

that happened to you too?

i was at Chic Fil A with my buddy and saw a cute mexican chick at a table with another girl and two guys. I was checking her out and she looked over and we locked eyes for a two or three seconds. Its hard to run pickup at chic fil a

[Chad Daring]

This happens to me all the time, I dont know what it is lol. I think its the area where I live, girls dont go out in 2s, there's always a gaggle of them and at least one or two safety betas to deter other guys

Honestly I keep telling myself its about mustering up the balls to just damn the torpedoes and go for it.

[FretDancer]

The problem comes when you get solid eye contact, but her being in a group/mixed group just adds to to the approach anxiety :/

[Chad Daring]

(04-16-2011 12:41 PM)FretDancer Wrote:  

The problem comes when you get solid eye contact, but her being in a group/mixed group just adds to to the approach anxiety :/

Exactly, but I think most of the senior members would say "Just do it"

I keep telling myself worst comes to worst you end up where you started, but mixed company groups do seem to be the white whale for my game as of right now.

It doesnt help when the guys in the group are all betas and you cant tell if they're actually dating a girl or not because they'll make some physical contact then stand there with their hands in their pockets.

[tjuan]

(04-16-2011 03:00 PM)Chad Daring Wrote:  

It doesnt help when the guys in the group are all betas and you cant tell if they're actually dating a girl or not because they'll make some physical contact then stand there with their hands in their pockets.

This is where some MM is really useful. If those guys are taking their girls out and not making it clear that they're "theirs", then it's fine to approach the group (not just her, best to address the guys and win them over).. what you're working towards is saying: "How do you know each other?" Everything you do prior to that question is to gain rapport to ask that question.

[Chad Daring]

(04-16-2011 04:01 PM)tjuan Wrote:  

(04-16-2011 03:00 PM)Chad Daring Wrote:  

It doesnt help when the guys in the group are all betas and you cant tell if they're actually dating a girl or not because they'll make some physical contact then stand there with their hands in their pockets.

This is where some MM is really useful. If those guys are taking their girls out and not making it clear that they're "theirs", then it's fine to approach the group (not just her, best to address the guys and win them over).. what you're working towards is saying: "How do you know each other?" Everything you do prior to that question is to gain rapport to ask that question.

Most definitely, but the biggest issue, for me anyways, is the initial approach. I'm good once conversation gets going I'm fine.

I am a fan of the "how do you all know each other' question though, while everyone else is talking you can get some good nonverbal messages going between you and the girl you want.

[CJ]

(04-16-2011 04:01 PM)tjuan Wrote:  

This is where some MM is really useful. If those guys are taking their girls out and not making it clear that they're "theirs", then it's fine to approach the group (not just her, best to address the guys and win them over).. what you're working towards is saying: "How do you know each other?" Everything you do prior to that question is to gain rapport to ask that question.

MM is becoming outdated. Some wise man once said that those wizard tricks he does work best if you dress like a wizard, or something like that... I digress, situational placement (if possible) in your venue will work better here. That way you're more likely to create a situation in which you can isolate faster.

The "how do you know each other" question is crucial though, and I wouldn't waste much time beating around the bush before asking it. If everyone in that group is a couple, then you need to move on ASAP.

[solo]

(03-12-2011 08:39 PM)The_CEO Wrote:  

this is a rather idiotic question but here goes...

Well, I for one am happy I found this thread, even though walking up and saying hi is what one obviously should do. When I haven't responded to prolonged and repeated eye contact in the past it has sent me into subsequent deep anxiety fits/depressions that has lasted for months, really painful and really suffering.
It happened again last night and even though I find some comfort in the fact that I now know I shouldn't idealize any one girl and that I should think I'm the prize and she's the one loosing out etc, I still feel the anxiety near. She was really cute too, at the very least she was an 8,5 (I know I shouldn't up her value like this).

(03-13-2011 02:04 PM)docsedated Wrote:  

Some one holds the eye contact for few, is definitely an IOI, don't let it pass, actually kick yourself in the Ass if you don't say anything to an obvious IOI like roosh says........

I have been/I am beating myself up alot but it doesn't matter unless you reach some kind of solution to this problem. If I find the strenght I will pledge that I from now on will approach EVERY FUCKING TIME I get eye contact, no matter what. Up until now, I've just frozen when I've gotten eye contact.

(03-13-2011 09:39 PM)kickboxer Wrote:  

Sometimes, i go blank and cant think of anything to say after thirty seconds. for instance, after you say If you are going to look at me like that, you should atleast come over and talk to me first. she is going to comeback at you with something. After that you would banter on this subject for a few more seconds. But after that line has served its purpose of getting you into the game with her what would you say next?

I have realised exactly this is one of the main obstacles that keep me from getting women - I don't know what the fuck to say (unless I'm in the zone or really drunk and just enjoying myself). I'm maybe sometimes kind of introverted and reflective as a person which doesn't help.

(04-16-2011 11:43 AM)Chad Daring Wrote:  

This thread just answered a lot of questions that came up for me last night, one thing I didnt see though.

What do you do if a girl gives you that locked on gaze, but she's swamped with 2+ people? This happened to me twice last night where a cute girl would look up, I'd look over, we'd catch eyes, but she kept talking to the group. They're really wrapped up in convo and there's no cleary path (full table) to get to her.

I like the wave idea because its subtle and it lets her know that you recognized the IOI and gives her reason to break from her group. IS

Like I said, if I manage to stay away from my depressions (been in therapy but I kind of reached the conclusion that the only thing that would help is to become successful with women) I will approach no matter what.
Don't know about the wave though, recall an Entourage episode (yeah fiction I know but made sense) where Turtle get told never to wave to a girl.

Anyway, thanks for this thread and all the replies. Really helps a little to know other people have this problem too (mean that in a good way -if there is one) and I hope we can find a solution to it.

[Chad Daring]

(04-17-2011 01:52 PM)solo Wrote:  

(03-12-2011 08:39 PM)The_CEO Wrote:  

this is a rather idiotic question but here goes...

Well, I for one am happy I found this thread, even though walking up and saying hi is what one obviously should do. When I haven't responded to prolonged and repeated eye contact in the past it has sent me into subsequent deep anxiety fits/depressions that has lasted for months, really painful and really suffering.
It happened again last night and even though I find some comfort in the fact that I now know I shouldn't idealize any one girl and that I should think I'm the prize and she's the one loosing out etc, I still feel the anxiety near. She was really cute too, at the very least she was an 8,5 (I know I shouldn't up her value like this).

(03-13-2011 02:04 PM)docsedated Wrote:  

Some one holds the eye contact for few, is definitely an IOI, don't let it pass, actually kick yourself in the Ass if you don't say anything to an obvious IOI like roosh says........

I have been/I am beating myself up alot but it doesn't matter unless you reach some kind of solution to this problem. If I find the strenght I will pledge that I from now on will approach EVERY FUCKING TIME I get eye contact, no matter what. Up until now, I've just frozen when I've gotten eye contact.

(03-13-2011 09:39 PM)kickboxer Wrote:  

Sometimes, i go blank and cant think of anything to say after thirty seconds. for instance, after you say If you are going to look at me like that, you should atleast come over and talk to me first. she is going to comeback at you with something. After that you would banter on this subject for a few more seconds. But after that line has served its purpose of getting you into the game with her what would you say next?

I have realised exactly this is one of the main obstacles that keep me from getting women - I don't know what the fuck to say (unless I'm in the zone or really drunk and just enjoying myself). I'm maybe sometimes kind of introverted and reflective as a person which doesn't help.

(04-16-2011 11:43 AM)Chad Daring Wrote:  

This thread just answered a lot of questions that came up for me last night, one thing I didnt see though.

What do you do if a girl gives you that locked on gaze, but she's swamped with 2+ people? This happened to me twice last night where a cute girl would look up, I'd look over, we'd catch eyes, but she kept talking to the group. They're really wrapped up in convo and there's no cleary path (full table) to get to her.

I like the wave idea because its subtle and it lets her know that you recognized the IOI and gives her reason to break from her group. IS

Like I said, if I manage to stay away from my depressions (been in therapy but I kind of reached the conclusion that the only thing that would help is to become successful with women) I will approach no matter what.
Don't know about the wave though, recall an Entourage episode (yeah fiction I know but made sense) where Turtle get told never to wave to a girl.

Anyway, thanks for this thread and all the replies. Really helps a little to know other people have this problem too (mean that in a good way -if there is one) and I hope we can find a solution to it.

I've been struggling with depression for a long while myself, I always refused medication because I didn't want to go through life doped up. The month since I discovered Roosh's site has really helped me personally. My social anxiety was always a big part of it and realizing that I don't have to be "that guy" for the rest of my life was such a relief that I've been much happier since.

I was beating myself up for the first week or two when I'd let an obvious IOI or opportunity go, but one thing that Roosh said that really stuck and helped was to remember that any one girl doesn't matter. If you let one go because of bad timing or sloppy game there will always be another one so there's no need to sweat it.

As far as the wave being a bad idea, there are other possibilities that in retrospect I wish I had tried. The long distance "cheers" comes to mind, just keep eye contact and raise your glass. I think the idea is to let her know that not only do you see her that you recognize the connection you just made, cashing in on the IOI that was just made and making her more susceptible to an opener.

[solo]

[/quote]
I've been struggling with depression for a long while myself, I always refused medication because I didn't want to go through life doped up. The month since I discovered Roosh's site has really helped me personally. My social anxiety was always a big part of it and realizing that I don't have to be "that guy" for the rest of my life was such a relief that I've been much happier since.

I was beating myself up for the first week or two when I'd let an obvious IOI or opportunity go, but one thing that Roosh said that really stuck and helped was to remember that any one girl doesn't matter. If you let one go because of bad timing or sloppy game there will always be another one so there's no need to sweat it.

As far as the wave being a bad idea, there are other possibilities that in retrospect I wish I had tried. The long distance "cheers" comes to mind, just keep eye contact and raise your glass. I think the idea is to let her know that not only do you see her that you recognize the connection you just made, cashing in on the IOI that was just made and making her more susceptible to an opener.
[/quote]

Appreciate your sincerity Chad. It is nice to talk to people who are in a similar position and have similar ambitions as myself, unlike some of my real life "friends" who I sometimes suspect thrive on other peoples shortcomings.
Yeah, I've also refused medication for the same reason. Don't blame people who take them though, I was rather close the last time. I agree Roosh's blog and forum have helped, it's been like a real turning point although I'm still far from where I want to be. A side affect of that is that I've become something of a misogynist, but I don't see this as a bad thing (on the contrary, as I soooo was one those guys putting the pussy on the pedestal before). Like you say, realising any one girl doesn't matter really is the cure - but I also need to act on that precise fact and just apporach like crazy.