Quote: (10-15-2018 07:10 AM)ksbms Wrote:
Quote: (09-23-2018 07:16 PM)TheBadGuy Wrote:
Here is a recent text convo I had. It is a chick I went out with once (Thursday), had a nice time - got a kiss but no sex. She texted me once she got home without me prompting and then again the next day without me prompting. We made plans for Sunday afternoon. Morning of, she texted me this... thoughts? Should I follow up and if so, with what?
Her: Hey, ****. I seriously have so much homework to do and I have to study for exams coming up.
Her: Can we plan for another day this week? I really wanted to spend some time with you sooo bad, but i can't today. Can I make it up to you?
(30 mins later)
Me: Alright no worries, -10 points though
(30 mins later)
Her: Okay. Thank you for understanding.
Her: Oh no :/
I think the Oh no was response to the -10 points. I did not respond to that last text. What should I say or should I not respond at all? Very attracted to this chick so trying to play it cool, but would very much like to see her again.
Thanks!
You aren't her priority (yet). You seem to have a girl in a decent to solid Maybe category. People's priorities change and she gave you reasonable (by young girls' standards) heads up. She counter-offered, instead you're trying too-hard not to be too concerned, yet you come across butt-hurt (the 'Alright, no worries'). Bad messaging game.
When she replied "[...] Can I make it up to you?", you should've vacuumed for much longer than 30 minutes (you're too eager), and contact her in the evening, or let her chase you (unlikely at that stage, though). Keep the ball in the air, then, and send a date request in a couple days. Draw her emotionally in.
The -10 points weren't appropriate here, they don't come across playfully. Instead, it spiralled off to an awkward 'On no :/' that stalls the conversation and your fretting about it shows you're way too invested. Pull back. Disregard it, and stack forward, don't even re-address the last few exchanges. Keep it light and positive. Ping her a window on your world, doing something interesting and DHV-ing, e.g.: "I'm eating the best steak in town with my friends (you can ping the photo too). What are you doing?" Just keep her engaged so the momentum never stalls.
Thank you for this honest feedback! Certainly text game is not my strongest suite. Luckily, I had basically done what you recommended and pulled back hard on her. I have made it known I am very busy (without saying so) and have been doing many things with friends (which is actually true). Meeting up with her again (Day3) tonight. Again, much appreciated!
Also, how would you have responded specifically to the "Can I make it up to you?" and what would you have said instead of "Alright, no worries". Just trying to tighten up my text game for the future.