[Batman_]

She sent these after a brief exchange of light messages. We've only been hanging out for a few weeks.


[M]
Ive been thinking and I feel like casual wouldn't be beneficial for either of us. You don't mind going with the flow, where I feel like id be wasting my time because I'm actually looking for someone with true commitments behind it. Like someone who wants to travel and at some point have a family and ik that's not your life goals and I don't wanna feel like I'm using my time and opportunity on someone who doesn't want that

[Self]
I like you and I really want to see where this goes because I see a lot of potential. All i ask is you have open mind about it. People change so much over time. But if you feel it's a bad call then that's okay too.

[M]
I know though that your mind on a family won't change with how you were talking about vasectomy.

[M]
And as much as I cringe about babies at this point, I know I'll want to have one down the road.

[Self]
I see. Yeah I wasn't implying I'd change my mind on that specifically. Sounds like you've made up your mind then.

[M]
I'm sorry.. I just don't see how it would be beneficial. If I keep seeing you I'm pretty much blocking myself from meeting someone who wants something more serious

[M]
What things would've changef



Her last text was yesterday and I'm pretty content to say nothing at this point. This is actually the second time she's had this convo with me. I would really like to keep seeing her because she has an IUD and i rarely get the chance to have sex without a condom.

[tomzestatlu]

I banged this girl last Tuesday, after we met in a bar.
I banged this girl again last Friday, after we met in a bar again.

We only exchanged some neutral messages, more like something funny. She look like she´s just having a fun and don´t care about anything much. I don´t want to lose frame and look needy or that I´m awaiting something more from this.

How do I bang again, on purpose?
Tomorrow it´s my birthday so I have on my mind this:
Her: happy birthday
Me: Thanks you. Do you know what ideal birthday gift is?
Her: What?
Me: Birthday sex

[torridon747]

I hate the way "birthday sex" pedastalizes sex. That will make you lose frame.

Her: Happy Birthday
You: you should roll through

The end. You banged her already she knows the score. If she hesitates drop some bitch bait about drinks and good food and you're having a great time but other than that don't get needy or push

[Jefferson]

By way of update not calling worked. She got in touch and is back with the program.

[Shinebox]

(09-19-2018 11:48 AM)tomzestatlu Wrote:  

I banged this girl last Tuesday, after we met in a bar.
I banged this girl again last Friday, after we met in a bar again.

We only exchanged some neutral messages, more like something funny. She look like she´s just having a fun and don´t care about anything much. I don´t want to lose frame and look needy or that I´m awaiting something more from this.

How do I bang again, on purpose?
Tomorrow it´s my birthday so I have on my mind this:
Her: happy birthday
Me: Thanks you. Do you know what ideal birthday gift is?
Her: What?
Me: Birthday sex

I imagine that her finding out at a later date that she was not included in your birthday plans after banging her twice will create a sufficient desire for her to bang you again in the future. I wouldn't be pushing for anything specific. You're likely to scare her away.

[tomzestatlu]

She didn´t mention anything with my birthday. My heart is broken. But I want to bang her anyway.
She definitely isn´t interested in some kind of dating. She has just moved to the country and I can see she just want to have fun. But I enjoyed having fun with her.

She is Scandinavian, so maybe being absolutely straight could be ok?

[Trent W.]

(09-20-2018 01:29 PM)tomzestatlu Wrote:  

She didn´t mention anything with my birthday. My heart is broken. But I want to bang her anyway.
She definitely isn´t interested in some kind of dating. She has just moved to the country and I can see she just want to have fun. But I enjoyed having fun with her.

She is Scandinavian, so maybe being absolutely straight could be ok?

If you've already banged her two times your approach should be "I don't care, got what I wanted". How you communicate that to her is something you know best since you're the one talking to her. Maybe you use highly sexual convo, maybe you are light and playful, maybe you tell her to come straight to yours. Anything that doesn't show neediness is good.

You don't want to be the guy that's trying to get her "exclusively", if she's like you described. She should be chasing your time. If she's there to party and f*ck around, giving her too much attention will backfire.

[ThisIs]

So im meeting a girl who I drive to lessons every day (its cheaper for us) . I have to ask her right now how much she used to pay for the bus because I have to count the cost of driving her to class and blahblah...

I currently have a really basic conversation with her, where she writes me whenever she is near my home and ready to go with me in my car.

Is there anything i could say to escalate the following ... ? I doubt it, but if its worth trying I may try pushing it.

Right now i have to ask her:
- How much did it use to cost you the bus?
+
- Come tomorrow at the same hour as usual (early morning)

I was going to ask her how the weekend was , and if she did the homework, but... I dont want to run out of conversation tomorrow in the car, so in my oppinion I should keep it simple, after all I spend tons of time with her during the week..

So , do I keep it simple? Or is there a way to ask the previous questions in a flirty way?

[TheBadGuy]

Here is a recent text convo I had. It is a chick I went out with once (Thursday), had a nice time - got a kiss but no sex. She texted me once she got home without me prompting and then again the next day without me prompting. We made plans for Sunday afternoon. Morning of, she texted me this... thoughts? Should I follow up and if so, with what?

Her: Hey, ****. I seriously have so much homework to do and I have to study for exams coming up.
Her: Can we plan for another day this week? I really wanted to spend some time with you sooo bad, but i can't today. Can I make it up to you?
(30 mins later)
Me: Alright no worries, -10 points though
(30 mins later)
Her: Okay. Thank you for understanding.
Her: Oh no :/

I think the Oh no was response to the -10 points. I did not respond to that last text. What should I say or should I not respond at all? Very attracted to this chick so trying to play it cool, but would very much like to see her again.

Thanks!

[Mizo1234]

Leave it for now . Then text her 2-3 days later to setup the date .

[newbie123]

Summary: went on a date. We keep kissing and fondling and laughing. End of the night she says not coming home with me. I propose breakfast the next day before my flight, she says "message me".

Next day (Sunday) I don't message, I fly, she hasn't messaged me for 2 days, neither have I.

Do you think she hasn't messaged because she thinks since I didn't follow through on the breakfast then I don't like her that much and she doesn't want to seem forward?

Should I a) not do anything and if she doesn't message then wait until I am next in town and message her for a round 2, b) message something funny tonight and pretend like the breakfast thing wasn't that big a deal, if she brings it up then say " my bad, were you hoping to share a milkshake"

Thanks in advance for the advice!

[FenyoLuc]

If you were flying anyway dopping a text to her, i dont think would've hurt. Sometimes playing the "i dont care at all" not the best you can do. And if you dont care at all, why no text her and give no fuck if she doesnt respond properly.

Now dont take this as an advice, rather than another viewpoint.

[Vill@in]

(09-23-2018 07:16 PM)TheBadGuy Wrote:  

Here is a recent text convo I had. It is a chick I went out with once (Thursday), had a nice time - got a kiss but no sex. She texted me once she got home without me prompting and then again the next day without me prompting. We made plans for Sunday afternoon. Morning of, she texted me this... thoughts? Should I follow up and if so, with what?

Her: Hey, ****. I seriously have so much homework to do and I have to study for exams coming up.
Her: Can we plan for another day this week? I really wanted to spend some time with you sooo bad, but i can't today. Can I make it up to you?
(30 mins later)
Me: Alright no worries, -10 points though
(30 mins later)
Her: Okay. Thank you for understanding.
Her: Oh no :/

I think the Oh no was response to the -10 points. I did not respond to that last text. What should I say or should I not respond at all? Very attracted to this chick so trying to play it cool, but would very much like to see her again.

Thanks!

Yeah I would wait a few days to text her, but I wouldn't do it to set up a date/meet up. That's on her now. I would just do a simple "how are you" or even better something funny.

The onus is on her to let you know when she's free. She should be chasing you, not the other way around. Don't fall into her frame because you're very attracted to her.

Always remember, if a girl is into you, she'll make time to see you.

[DonnyGately]

If an interaction seems like it's stale-ing, you can use my 'Wanna come over and see my bondage gear?'

She knows what's up, and you've given her plausible deniability while maxing out her curiosity factor/hamster spins. Maybe 1/6 of girls are not interested in that - they know themselves and it's not for them - the rest range from curious/interested to very interested to already do it regularly.

5 years ago, I only did this with girls I'd been on multiple dates with. Now, once the chemistry is flowing, I throw it right out there; if a girl starts texting or joking about sex right away, you can use it very quickly because she's thinking about possibly banging you already.

I've had girls agree to come over & get tied up in less time than it takes to finish your coffee. Seemed shocking at first, now I know better.

[TheBadGuy]

(09-25-2018 12:58 PM)Vill@in Wrote:  

(09-23-2018 07:16 PM)TheBadGuy Wrote:  

Here is a recent text convo I had. It is a chick I went out with once (Thursday), had a nice time - got a kiss but no sex. She texted me once she got home without me prompting and then again the next day without me prompting. We made plans for Sunday afternoon. Morning of, she texted me this... thoughts? Should I follow up and if so, with what?

Her: Hey, ****. I seriously have so much homework to do and I have to study for exams coming up.
Her: Can we plan for another day this week? I really wanted to spend some time with you sooo bad, but i can't today. Can I make it up to you?
(30 mins later)
Me: Alright no worries, -10 points though
(30 mins later)
Her: Okay. Thank you for understanding.
Her: Oh no :/

I think the Oh no was response to the -10 points. I did not respond to that last text. What should I say or should I not respond at all? Very attracted to this chick so trying to play it cool, but would very much like to see her again.

Thanks!

Yeah I would wait a few days to text her, but I wouldn't do it to set up a date/meet up. That's on her now. I would just do a simple "how are you" or even better something funny.

The onus is on her to let you know when she's free. She should be chasing you, not the other way around. Don't fall into her frame because you're very attracted to her.

Always remember, if a girl is into you, she'll make time to see you.

Thanks for this reply. I did as the above poster stated and did not respond. She ended up getting back to me the next day to set up a meet up. Supposed to see her tomorrow so we shall see what happens. Thank you guys for the assistance.

[newbie123]

What's a good response to : is that your way of asking me out again? (I'm asking her out for a second date) I'm trying to think of a double sided compliment. Short. Witty. Zappy.

[FenyoLuc]

What did you say to her to give such response?

[ISR92]

Hi guys. Had an ex about 8 months ago. I recently reached out to her with a text like "Hey I went to (place) we travelled. I remembered our time there. I'm glad we did that together. How are You." After 1 day she replied with "I'm fine thanks.

The fact that she replied at all is a win. But how to go forward from here? Give me some ammo, lads.

Cheers

[Funkbus40]

I would not respond. That was the lamest response she could have given and she showed zero interest in you. Any time spent on this girl is an almost sure waste of time.

I would text back if I had no other girls in a 100 mile radius, "I'm going to be here X ar X time, you should stop by".

Expect her to reject you or laugh at you. If you wish to keep your dignity follow my advice in the first part.

[ISR92]

She sent another text like "it's been 6 months" so there's some interest but thinking of a good response. A lot of options

[RedKurrant]

Quit my job this week. On the last day a colleague said 'we should grab drinks sometime'.

I messaged her yesterday saying 'about that drink... how does wednesday evening sound'

Her reply: 'yeah could do, I'll ask the others if they're interested! '. I'm assuming that means she isn't interested, or have I not made myself clear enough?

[ksbms]

(09-23-2018 07:16 PM)TheBadGuy Wrote:  

Here is a recent text convo I had. It is a chick I went out with once (Thursday), had a nice time - got a kiss but no sex. She texted me once she got home without me prompting and then again the next day without me prompting. We made plans for Sunday afternoon. Morning of, she texted me this... thoughts? Should I follow up and if so, with what?

Her: Hey, ****. I seriously have so much homework to do and I have to study for exams coming up.
Her: Can we plan for another day this week? I really wanted to spend some time with you sooo bad, but i can't today. Can I make it up to you?
(30 mins later)
Me: Alright no worries, -10 points though
(30 mins later)
Her: Okay. Thank you for understanding.
Her: Oh no :/

I think the Oh no was response to the -10 points. I did not respond to that last text. What should I say or should I not respond at all? Very attracted to this chick so trying to play it cool, but would very much like to see her again.

Thanks!

You aren't her priority (yet). You seem to have a girl in a decent to solid Maybe category. People's priorities change and she gave you reasonable (by young girls' standards) heads up. She counter-offered, instead you're trying too-hard not to be too concerned, yet you come across butt-hurt (the 'Alright, no worries'). Bad messaging game.

When she replied "[...] Can I make it up to you?", you should've vacuumed for much longer than 30 minutes (you're too eager), and contact her in the evening, or let her chase you (unlikely at that stage, though). Keep the ball in the air, then, and send a date request in a couple days. Draw her emotionally in.

The -10 points weren't appropriate here, they don't come across playfully. Instead, it spiralled off to an awkward 'On no :/' that stalls the conversation and your fretting about it shows you're way too invested. Pull back. Disregard it, and stack forward, don't even re-address the last few exchanges. Keep it light and positive. Ping her a window on your world, doing something interesting and DHV-ing, e.g.: "I'm eating the best steak in town with my friends (you can ping the photo too). What are you doing?" Just keep her engaged so the momentum never stalls.

[ksbms]

(10-14-2018 03:33 PM)RedKurrant Wrote:  

Quit my job this week. On the last day a colleague said 'we should grab drinks sometime'.

I messaged her yesterday saying 'about that drink... how does wednesday evening sound'

Her reply: 'yeah could do, I'll ask the others if they're interested! '. I'm assuming that means she isn't interested, or have I not made myself clear enough?

Just make it clear what you're after to avoid awkwardness and disappointment. Since you quit your job, you can be blunt. I'd reply: "no, it's a date". Let her decide if she wants to dip her toes in it or not. In the worst case scenario, you'll save your save time and money.

[OCZ]

I work in this big company and I met this really hot girl in one of the AW for young company members. Had a good connection and ran into her a couple of times and I felt the attraction. I'm not a fan of gaming girls at the workplace, but I think a subtile strategy could work as we don't work in the same departments. I was thinking of talking to her a little bit more a couple of times more and ask her to have lunch in the restaurants nearby and escalte from there, but I am not sure if that is too quick or should play instead a more long run subtile shit. What do you guys think?

[RedKurrant]

(10-15-2018 07:13 AM)ksbms Wrote:  

(10-14-2018 03:33 PM)RedKurrant Wrote:  

Quit my job this week. On the last day a colleague said 'we should grab drinks sometime'.

I messaged her yesterday saying 'about that drink... how does wednesday evening sound'

Her reply: 'yeah could do, I'll ask the others if they're interested! '. I'm assuming that means she isn't interested, or have I not made myself clear enough?

Just make it clear what you're after to avoid awkwardness and disappointment. Since you quit your job, you can be blunt. I'd reply: "no, it's a date". Let her decide if she wants to dip her toes in it or not. In the worst case scenario, you'll save your save time and money.

Thanks. I sent her a blunt reply and she never came back to me. Her loss, I suppose