Quote: (12-02-2011 04:46 PM)Caligula Wrote:
Great breakdown Athlone.
Curious, what does being 'facetimey' mean?
What is facetime: A "facetimey" individual is one who is obsessed with getting "facetime", defined as (getting the dictionary out here):
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Time spent interacting in the presence of or in the same location as another or others: putting in face time in the office instead of working at home.
It is all about seeing and being seen.
"Facetimey" people go out to parties not because they necessarily want to be there, but because they want to be seen by "the right people". They make romantic decisions not based solely on their attraction to someone, but mainly on that person's status/prestige/ability to help them climb the ladder.
Facetimey folks spend an inordinate amount of time with the professor after class not because they have legitimate questions that really need answering, but because they need more "facetime" with him/her for their grades. They brown-nose and try to pal around/bro out with the teacher to this end, in the hope that more facetime like this will help them get the better part of the curve. If they have to stand around for 10 minutes after class talking about the profesors last family vacation, then they'll do it.
Facetime is crucial to those obsessed with social climbing and putting on an image. Get enough facetime, and you can climb the social ladder and look cooler than you are. You all probably have known people like this at some point in your lives-the problem is that in the "IvyPlus" world, such people are the rule, not the exception.
Why facetime is problematic: It all sounds logical in theory-after all, couldn't facetime like this be great for securing employment and other positive advancements? Perhaps. The problem, of course, is the fakeness of it all. When you're in an environment crawling with fake, facetime-obsessed social climbers, you can never really be sure who your friends are.
The desire for facetime is based on what you can do for someone, not necessarily on who you are or whether or not that person actually likes you. If you have no status or other visible incentive to offer a person, then you'll have less social contact (people don't need facetime with you-you cannot help them climb the ladder). If you are a person that can help people climb or provides another incentive (ex: maybe you're one of the only freshman with a car, or you're a perceived "top" guy visiting/hanging out at a "second tier" fraternity) you'll have lots of "friends", but you'll have no idea which ones are real (and in fact, most of them will not be).
Where do you find "facetime" most: This type of try-hard/social climbing/facetimey dynamic is much more common at elite schools (princeton, amherst, dartmouth, cornell, middlebury, etc) than it is in most other places, so I guarantee that if you seek to mingle with IvyPlus alumni you are going to run into it.
It is also much more prevalent among girls than it is guys. On my campus, Greek life is big. Guys don't necessarily judge you on the basis of the house you are affiliated with, and you'll see dudes from "first tier" frats hanging out with "third tier" guys often enough on the basis of other bonds they've established (i.e. they're on the same sports team, in the same classes, etc).
Girls, on the other hand, judge you very quickly and very firmly on the basis of a) the prestige of your house and b) your status within that house (read: age, are you an officer, do you live in the house, etc). This is the crux of dating success here-how a girl treats you hinges primarily on your status, and the "house" you are in. Why?
They want to climb the social ladder, and guys in good houses allow them to do this. They don't always like the guys in these positions-often, there are unaffiliated or younger, "lower-tier" dudes they like more, but the ability to climb outweighs those feelings.
How to game in a "facetimey" environment: This is part of why I say game doesn't always go as far as it could here-if you've got the tools to give the girl the climbing ability she wants, you don't really need it. The formula for bangs here is very simple:
a. Join a top house.
b. Become an upperclassman/officer in that house.
c. Live in that house.
That's it. You get bonus points if you're an athlete, especially a lacrosse/squash/rugby/soccer player (nobody here cares about football or basketball, though a few top tier football guys do well).
Once you have these things, it is as simple as
a) going down to your frat's basement,
b) playing a few drinking games,
c) isolating some underclassman girl (just take your pick, there will be tons of them milling around looking for attention from you),
d) mentioning that you're an upperclassman and you live right upstairs,
e) suggesting you head upstairs to your room for drinks/whatever. Done-shit takes like four hours tops. Your status does 90% of the work for you.
Bottomline: If you insist on doing this IvyPlus thing, remember this: status is everything. These girls are extremely pretentious on average and usually just want to climb. Sell them the dream any way you can, and your work is finished.