Would you guys recommend Phuket or Ko Samui and Ko Tao for a week/10 days? Which one is easier in terms of posting up and logistics. Anyone there between 23/12-31/12?
Phuket Datasheet
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Ko Lanta (Yai)
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SUMMARY
Lanta is Krabi’s largest island. It is two islands connected by car ferry and bridge to the Thai mainland.
The tourist island is Yai (south one). There’s a little nightlife. It’s spread out, chill, and rotates nightly. The coral is dead/dying, but snorkel trips are still good for sightseeing.
Lanta was “discovered” in the 1980s. It is overrun by western tourists on motorbikes. Most come for the beaches and island hopping day trips. But still not as bad as Phuket or Phi Phi.
LOGISTICS
Lanta’s west coast faces the Andaman Sea. This side has a string of big bays, most of which have been overdeveloped for tourism. This is where you’ll want to stay. The two most touristy beaches are Phra Ae in the north and Khantiang in the south.
The east side is almost entirely undeveloped for tourism except a small (still quaint!) old town village. This was the main trading port until the late 1980s.
The east coast is a tranquil motorbike drive. Main stops are the monkey school, a small museum in old town, and a quick look at the sea gypsy village.
On Saturdays old town has a walking street market. Some day trips leave from a new pier here. There are also mangrove tours and kayaking to sea caves on islets.
SALADAN
Speedboats come into Saladan port at the northern tip. The bridge also connects here. Saladan is the main town. It has an OK beach (at high tide due to coastal erosion). There are accommodations and shops galore. But the scenic areas and attractions are further south.
The further south you drive on Lanta, the less developed. I stayed the next beach down in Phra Ae (Long Beach). A trike taxi to Phra Ae was 100B (haggled down from (250). Expect to pay much more if youre staying south.
ACCOMMODATION
I found an isolated bungalow for 400B (way off the beach). Some high end resorts charge 20 times that for a fancy cliff hugging bungalow with sea views. AC rooms near the beach start around 1200B.
I rented a motorbike for 200B. I only kept it a few days. The tours include pickup/drop off. After a few days I met a local girl who had a car.
NIGHTLIFE
There is some nightlife in Phra Ae. It is spread out and I got annoyed walking along the beach or main road. Most people go to the cafe/bar nearest there hotel for dinner and drinks.
Some bars host parties. They are super chill compared to the “full moon” variety. My first night I hit one at Fusion Beach Bar 3km south. Another time I followed the lit bottles to a small beach bar; not even are the name.
Watch for signs around the roads announcing party dates. I saw some wacky stuff like “body painting party” and “mushroom party”. Sounds fun but don’t expect much.
Again, walking in Lanta is inefficient. You’ll struggle to find viable targets. Most girls I talked to are with someone. It’s better to rest and go out to the nightly party around 11pm.
Most young girls stay in a dorm/backpacker guesthouse. These are a bit scattered. Some have their own restaurant/bars. So it’s kinda a cluster fuck unless you’re also staying there or next door.
MOTORBIKE GAME
Every time I saw a hot girl I was zooming by on motorbike. Dressed full ninja against the sun. I tried screeching to a halt, turning, and rolling up beside her. The vibe just seemed off.
I think this could work if you’re tanned, jacked, and just out for a leisure cruise (with your shirt off). Then roll it into an instadate. The Thai caveman does this. Curious how a tourist would fare...
Collecting numbers is rather useless. Most young girls are passing through for 2-3 days. They are too cheap to bother getting SIM cards. They rely on WiFi and you’ll be lucky to get a text response or two.
No bar on the island was ever hopping unless it’s their night to host the rotating party. They’re all pretty chill. Go to another island for crazy parties. Lanta probably isn’t for you.
Check the Lanta Nightlife Facebook page (or ask bar staff) where the party is each night. The locations can be hard to find even with GPS. Little bottles of fire are lit on the backroads to guide you into the venues.
WEATHER
The weather was mostly overcast/rainy during my time here. This effects beach parties. People still come, but less. It also makes it hard to isolate for a “walk”. Everyone huddles under the little available shelter.
Even on dry nights the Lanta parties are a bit lame and disappointing. People do dance and there are girls there. I did OK.
I suggest to arrive early. Cliques will form back at hostels. People pile into trike taxis to the party. The ratios get much worse as the night progresses. Past 1-2am you may be left with mostly ladyboys and dudes who didn’t pull .
You can certainly pull backpacker ass here. I pulled a local. Beware it’s dark and shadowy. Perfect place for sneaky ladyboys. Get confirmation of a self-lubricating vagina *before* finishing the first drink.
There is some chill “nightlife” in Khiantang. Why Not bar had a fire show at 8:30pm. It only lasts a half hour. A bottle of Chang is 100. The other end of the beach has a hangout bar called Same Same But Different Bar.
I’d suggest having dinner at the terraces restaurants on the south end of the beach road. Then head to Why Not. Don’t expect a lot of targets. It’s mostly couples and families.
Be aware there’s no real budget accommodations here. It’s entirely couples and families staying at mid-range and high end resorts. Not many young backpacker girls come here. But you could get lucky.
GIRLS
Like all the other Thai islands, Lanta is mostly couples and families. The young single girls are all in pairs and tend to stay in the cheapest dorms around Phra Ae.
The couples tend to stay further south in resorts at beaches like Khlong Kong, Nin, Khiantong, etc.
Good luck if you’re solo! Most guys are in groups. I saw very very few solo travelers. Even I coupled up almost immediately.
ATTRACTIONS
The coastal road isn’t pretty until you’re well south of Phra Ae. The views really start to get nice at the south end, around Khantiang. From here the road climbs past some nice terraced bamboo cafes perfect for sunset.
The road continues last a few less developed bays. This entire southern tip of Lanta is “protected” as Mu Ko Lanta National Park. There’s a lighthouse and nature trail. Also a decent waterfall (reduced to a trickle in dry season).
There’s two decent caves, elephant riding, monkey and snake shows. Most everything seems to be a 200-300B minimum.
ISLAND HOPPING
Lanta is probably Thailand’s best base for island hopping. You can get daily, direct boats to islands in the Provinces of Trang, Krabi, Phuket, and Satun!
There’s also direct minivans to Surat Thani if you’re trying to get a ferry to the Gulf islands like Samui. The day I left Saladan for Phi Phi, I met two American girls taking the ferry to Phuket. Just so they could fly to Samui for the full moon party.
Mu Ko Lanta National Park is actually a marine park that includes parts of several other islands: Ko Rok, Ko Ha, and Ko Ngai (in Trang Province).
I skipped most of the Trang Islands when I came from Satun. Day trips make it possible to visit several Trang Islands from Lanta. Daily “4 island” snorkeling trips stop in: Ko Muk, Ko Kradan, Ngai, and usually one of the the karst islets: Waen, Cheuk, or Mah.
If you’re on a budget you can do this trip by a small longtail for as little as 600B. A speedboat is 1200B. Chartering your own boat is 2500.
This doesn’t include the National Park fee which can be as much as 600B for scuba diving (usually 200B snorkeling). Thai’s usually don’t pay anything. Essentially it’s a tax on foreigners for ruining the Andaman Sea. You’re welcome!
Some tourists bring their bags and get off on the last island (Ngai) instead of returning to Lanta. If you’re heading south anyway this saves an extra trip and paying a 450B speedboat fare the next morning.
Another popular daily trip is snorkeling in Ko Rok Islands (Nok & Noi). This is probably the most scenic day trip besides Phi Phi. The coral was the best here too.
My trip included a stop at Ko Ha for 1600B altogether. The coral at both archipelagos is dead or dying. I’d even say skip the Andaman Sea altogether. Especially if you’re heading to islands like Cebu in the Philippines.
SCUBA
Thailand’s second best snorkel spot, Hin Daeng, is about two hours offshore. Next to it is a second seamount called Hin Maung.
Both are always packaged together. Most dive operators now force you to book a third dive (usually Ko Ha). The three dive package schemes usually includes breakfast and lunch on the boat.
I found this excessive. It results in a ridiculously early pickup: 6:30am. Most operators run out of Saladan. A few like Scubafish might leave from your beach.
It’s worth checking first and booking directly. This can shave a few hours off a long day and prevent an uncomfortable ride in the back of a trike or truck.
There are some other karst islets of less interest such as Bida & Ma. There’s also a wreck, King Cruiser, on the far side of Phi Phi. I wouldn’t waste the time and money.
DEAD CORAL
Unfortunately, the entire Andaman Sea is stressed by pollution. The snorkeling/scuba from Langkawi to Phuket is poor. Where it’s not bleached, the hard coral is dull brown and often damaged.
Locals say its not that bad. They are either lying, morons, or naive. I was trained by Dive Masters (PADI top 2%) who’ve traveled the world and experienced the Andaman decades ago. They won’t come here anymore.
If you’re new/learning to dive (and haven’t snorkeled anywhere else) I guess it’s OK. You probably won’t understand you’re looking at a dying ecosystem.
FREEDIVING
Learning to free dive here might be a better option. Despite the advertisements (see the ocean on a single breath) when you’re learning to free dive you don’t explore the ocean. You go up and down a weighted rope. Purists even encourage you to close your eyes.
Actually is save your money on freediving courses. I got certified in Moalboal. It was a ripoff. You can watch the videos free online. Anything above 5-10m is fine to practice on your own, or even alone, if you’re in decent shape.
EXPONENTIAL TOURISM
I trained in Mactan (Cebu) and snorkeled all over Micronesia. I found the Andaman Sea to be boring, even downright depressing. Firstly it has far less biodiversity than other areas of the coral triangle. Secondly it now looks like an underwater version of Walking Dead.
What happened? Decades of rampant development and heavy tourism. Yes , turning stands of casuarina trees into strip malls has an effect below the water. So does millions of tourists criss-crossing the same sea lanes.
PACKAGE TOURISM
Day after day there are dozens of boats all stopping in the same little areas. Stop and think about this happening over a few generations... And at an ever increasing rate. Now you can begin to imagine.
Entire reefs are dead or dying. Lanta’s shorelines are now unprotected and have begun washing away. This is a problem particularly in the north. This has happened to beaches in Mecca’s like Bali.
UNPROFESSIONAL OPERATORS
This hasn’t stopped tour operators from buying bigger boats, increasing their dive schedules, classes, and charging absurd prices.
I was really only interested to dive Hin Daeng. Operators know this and force you to include Hin Maung (and usually Ko Ha) for a three dive minimum. Then pretend to care about the marine environment. “Please don’t flush the toilet until we haul up the anchor.” AHAHAHAHA
5700B was the cheapest I could find for a day of diving Hin Daeng. Even then you’re usualy waiting days for suitable conditions. 600B is the National Park daily fee. Ouch. That’s a lot to look at some dead coral!
Thailand’s dive prices are 2-3 times what I paid in PH. Even worse boats and the dives themselves are overcrowded. This mentality is indicative of the Catch-22 relationship Thailand has with tourism dollars. Soon they’ll just have to start closing islands and beaches like they did with Maya in Phi Phi.
I booked my dives through Phoenix but wouldn’t recommend them. I got lumped with “Blue Planet” (lmao at the name) which has a beautiful new yacht with great catered meals.
Unfortunately their new boat still dumps sewage directly into the sea. They take 30-40 divers out on it. Then stuff them FULL of food. You can imagine how much crap goes into the ocean around all their dive sites. Wonderful.
Many of the divers in my boat had guides from different operators. So there was confusion. With all the bullshit we didn’t even dive until 10:30am. And the dives were shit.
NO REFUNDS
The captain got all the way to Hin Daeng (two hours) then decided to turn around immediately. Made an excuse about an engine problem. Yeah right. After two hours full throttle? Fucker just didn’t want to sit around in a bit of chop.
I noticed he miraculously had us at full throttle the remaining 5 hours at sea. Uh yeahhh....
Another hour we get to Ko Ha (which we had passed right by two hours prior). We dive; my guide breaks a few PADI protocols. I’m relaxed about it as usual. Then he chews me out over his mistakes.
I make a video in front of the crew. I use the word “unprofessional” which got them in a twist. A moment later I’m vindicated.
CRASH
El Capitan smashes their brand new yacht into their 30 year old boat. The morons had their sterns abutting with no bumpers. They were trying to offload PADI students doing certification dives. Wonderful.
I send the video to PADI. I’m sure that’s just what they want to see. Students being used as human bumpers. Good luck keeping your license, idiots.
Pieces of the boat start floating away. Life jackets are being tossed into the water. Uncertified students are jumping into the water and clambering for ladders with full (but empty) tanks on. What a shit show.
LOST GUIDES
Second dive the lead guide from Blue Planet got lost. Surfaces on far side of island without boat in sight. Shit happens.
I wasn’t given a snorkel so I put my regulator back in and surfaced swam. Funny thing was when we suited up I had asked “where’s my snorkel?” My guide said if this happens just use your remaking O2.
On the boat now I have the Blue Planet guide run his mouth at me. Uh what? Are you high? You got lost idiot. That was your mistake.
Shit happens. I don’t care. Just don’t go blaming other people. If we are going to dictate PADI protocols I watched you break a handful and rattled them all off. Your welcome idiot.
NO DISCOUNTS
They wanted 4100B for the improvised dives. I paid in full, but let them know I’d appreciate a discount. Consider that the main dive was called off for engine trouble, boats crashed, confused guides, etc. Owner says “well that’s life,” no discount.
Hmm. Honest question: this is my first dive in Thailand. Is dead coral and unprofessionalism the standard to be expected? Based on this experience, I’d never dive the Andaman Sea again.
Dude loses his shit. Starts threatening me. Oh wow. I post the crash video online and write a report to PADI and the Thai Tourist Authority. Your welcome idiot. A simple “sorry” would have been enough.
BEING THAI SUCKS
I kinda got a bit sick of the dynamics in Lanta. My girl was working at a big resort that starts around 20,000/night. She had four days off but kept getting called in to work early mornings for 60 year old SJWs “requesting” her.
More like demand. Bitches were threatening to checkout early if they didn’t get what they wanted. Shit I might too for . We finally had a few days together and drove to Krabi for the hot springs around Khlong Thom. Her phone was ringing constantly demanding she come in. This is your boss, cancel your holiday. Thanks slave.
We spent decided to just leave Krabi and spend a night down in Trang. Her boss is calling past 8pm, “The hotel will lose too much money!!”
I had a Japanese gf that worked in tourism. I watched her boss do the same shit. Phone constantly ringing over dumb shit. Some 70 year old infant didn’t get breakfast. Come in on Saturday. Blah blah.
Obviously they can’t fire her if customers like her that much. I tell her exactly what to say: “OK, I’ll be there, but then I’m quitting to work for a resort that treats its employees better.” Magically they find someone to cover.
KHLONG THOM, KRABI
Khlong Thom had a small, but nice hot springs waterfall. You have to take the bridge and car ferry for about 1.5 hours.
Tour groups from Krabi town arrive around noon. The crowding makes it hard to enjoy. Arrive early before it’s overrun. Nearby is a crystal clear peat swamp called Emerald Pool.
HAT CHAO MAI NATIONAL PARK
We spent a night down in Trang Province. The shoreline around Pak Meng & Chang Lang is way, way less touristy than up at Ao Nang.
Chao Mai National Park covers the entire shoreline here. Thailand actually seems serious about protecting this gem from development. The government successfully shuttered the shore’s first and only 5 star resort.
There’s now ZERO development on the beach side of the road. Just a lovely stand of casuarinas that stretches for miles.
Heading home we detoured through Trang town. Nothing to see here but a night market. I guess try only sell the roasted pork in the daytime. Kinda a wasted endeavor.
Barely made it back for the last ferry at 10pm. This is the one annoying thing about Lanta. It’s a great hub for island hopping. But the connection to mainland is limited by a 6am-10pm ferry. Miss it and your stuck getting another room.
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KO PHI PHI
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SUMMARY
Pee Pee is technically a national park of six islands. Phi Phi Don is the main island and the only one with accommodations.
Pee Pee Leh is mostly rock with a few large coves. It’s the must do day trip. You can’t camp on Maya Beach anymore, but you can sleep on a boat.
There’s a lame beach party scene in the tourist village. Ugly drunk backpackers.
PHI PHI DON
I took the ferry from Lanta which was much cheaper than a speedboat. It still only took an hour. Trade off being it only leaves twice per day out of Saladan.
McDonald’s is at the end of the pier. This says a lot about the kind of gross tourist girls you will find here. Theres also lots of families. Prices are a bit expensive.
I saw most of the island on a half/full day boat trip. I also spent a few more days hiking around Phi Phi Don. There are a many viewpoints.
The east shore has several cove beaches. As you go north they become more expensive. The northernmost, Laem Tham, is 10-20,000B/night.
At low tide the bays look like shit. The island is isolated enough from mainland, that snorkeling was better than other islands in the Andaman. Coral still damaged and dying. But more biodiversity in the fish.
TONSAI
The tourist village has all the budget accommodations. Most backpackers book their tours here and leave from the pier. Expect to pay 1200B for a half day speedboat.
The beach bars are Stones, Apache, Ibiza, etc. They have shitty hostels attached for 300B/night. If you want to sleep avoid staying here. If you want to fuck ugly British fatties you should stay here.
I found a quiet guesthouse 5 min walk away. I paid 900B/night for an AC room. You can go a bit cheaper but you’ll be right next to the inner bar street. The bars are crowded but lame.
Avoid the 800B rooms around the bar street. They have poor reviews. Noise, no towel or top sheet, fan only. The Banyan Village has a nice gym for 400B/day.
TOURS
Speedboats are twice the price of longtails but faster, less noisy, and more comfortable. You can’t really get up and walk around on longtails.
You can see most of the islands on half/full day boat trips. I spent a few more days hiking around Phi Phi Don. Since the island is isolated from mainland the snorkeling here was better than other islands.
Phi Phi Leh was used in the film The Beach. It’s set in 1996 before smartphones. A Khaosan road backpacker becomes disillusioned with the tourism industry and leaves Bangkok.
He goes to the Thai islands which are already as overrun by tourists. The secret island he finds also turns to shit. Bonus: you get to see Thaís gun down some idiot backpackers. Lmfao.
GIRLS
There are hot women. Unfortunately most come with their boyfriend. I only saw hot girls walking around daytime and a few around the resort beaches. At night it’s mostly 5-6s and below.
Loh Dalum has four trashy beach bars that party until about 2am. 99% of the girls are busted. This beach is on the backside of Tonsai.
I got to Phi Phi for the full moon. This is probably a bad time to go. The ferry was full of people going in the opposite direction.
Everyone wants to go to the full moon party on Ko Pha-Nga on the opposite side of Thailand. Being Xmas there was still a crowd.
On Xmas eve my wing said numbers were 50% higher. The ratio however is still around 10:1. This plus the drunk rave dynamic makes things awkward. It’s pretty much drunk game/last man standing.
Tonsai Village has some dumb bars too. The scene there is equally lame. If you like to sit around drunk singing to “I said maybeeee” and playing beer pong you’ll have a blast.
Your best bet is going out around dinner and socially opening sets with a wing. Later at the beach and bars you won’t be a stranger. You’ll have some minor social context for approaches.
This isn’t necessary for ugly girls. However there are so few 6-7s they are at a premium. So you’ll need to set yourself apart.
I also noticed the few cute/hot girls don’t get sloppy drunk. There were a few sets of cute Asian and western tourists treating the party scene like a tourist attraction. Patrolling the beach, but not really wanting to interact with anyone.
If a girl isn’t drinking I’d say give up immediately. It’s too easy to fuck someone else than to waste all night and end up with nothing.
GUYS
Most guys are young and sloppy. They drink and dance with each other. Uh wa. There’s a fair number of muscle fags showing off their tan.
It’s pretty humbling to see jacked men in ketosis dancing up on chubby, ugly 4-5s. And women complain they have it harder than men. Yeah right.
Try lifting strenuously for years. These fatties looked like they never even bothered with cardio, let alone a sensible diet. Its not like they’re dressing pretty and doing makeup either. Just lazy war pigs.
If you’re not picky it’s fine. Bang yourself silly. I banged athletic young girls in high school and college. I personally felt weird and disgusted by what I saw.
My wing spent a night with a drunk Russian couple. Boyfriend was shit-faced. He thought it was hilarious a stranger was making out and finger banging the hot gf. She was a legit 8-9.
He got them home but in the end she decided not to cheat. Keep in mind, he speaks Russian. And for an entire week prior he was settling for butter-faced poles and such.
I could go into a bit more detail on Phi Phi. Why bother?
Personally, I don’t feel like it’s worth going here alone. The exception would be if you can tolerate daytime beach game. You could hook some decently attractive women.
After 3 days I saw everything. I took a ferry north to Ao Nang. My girl from Lanta drove to meet me.
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AO NANG
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The afternoon ferry took about two hours. The boat stops in Railay to let off a few passengers. Longtails have to tender them in from ferry.
It was worth the 400B just to see the sunset around Railay and Chicken Island. The ticket includes a taxi from Noppharat Thara National Park HQ (where the longtails actually land).
Noppharat Beach is further north. It is usually the quieter choice, but has a big night market until February. Part of the Thailand Biennial.
The beach at Ao Nang is tourism central. Tons of budget guest houses and lined with longtails for day trips. I didn’t do anymore nightlife the rest of my trip.
Interestingly there was a hot girl on my ferry. My wing and I opened her the night before. I was in bad mood and exhausted (had fallen on rocks after a 7 hour hike).
Her set wasn’t drinking and doing the tourist thing so we gave up. When I opened her a second time on the ferry she responded much better.
I even got her back to my hotel. Unfortunately my girl was already on the way up from Lanta. I didn’t press for the bang as I felt it was still unlikely.
This demonstrates a few things about phi phi:
1. You’ll do better if you are opening a set you’ve already opened earlier that day or before.
2. You’ll do better catching them alone and away from the competitive beach/bar area.
3. She was easily 3 points better than any other girl we saw that night, but only on island for a day. Loner hot girls are rare and generally don’t stick around partying all week. Beware putting in the work.
4. She was basically there to wander around and take a few nice selfies. She raved about trying scuba for the first time. I didn’t have the heart to tell her actually it sucks compared to the rest of the coral triangle. You have to me too these untraveled bitches. Oh isn’t it all so magical!!!
KRABI TOWN
I was at the end of my trip and pressed for time. I didn’t make it down to Railay. It’s popular for rock climbing schools and has a cool horn (cave lagoon).
We had her car so drove down to the fossil shell beach. The limestone Gastropoda fossils are 20-40 million years old. I can’t understand why the signs all say 75 million.
We also drove to Tiger Cave Temple. The 1200+ steps up are grueling. Awesome views over Krabi. The resident macaques are fun to fuck with too.
MASSAGE, STRETCH, YOGA
It was nice having a girl to travel with again. She stretched me out and massaged me twice a day. In bed.
Followed by naughty yoga ;-)
Guys make fun of me for this. Yeah that’s because you’re not really doing much with your life. Try pushing it.
I don’t think many people experience what it’s like to push hard sightseeing. Hitting multiple places a day and doing media.
You come home exhausted on a daily basis. Then still have to exercise and do some online work. That’s a lot.
Waking up and falling asleep to physical therapy+sex is golden. However it’s really only worthwhile when a woman has taken anatomy and physiology.
Otherwise you’re basically just getting a back rub. It can feel good. But its not sports massage.
KHAO PHANOM BENCHA NP
Next morning we drove to Krabi’s only inland national park, Khao Phanom Bencha. (The rest are marine parks encompassing shoreline and islands.)
KPB National Park has a couple great waterfalls that are an easy hike. Huai To has 5 cascades and Sakah 3. I humped the shit out of everyone of them. Very wet and sexual. Made that waterfall squirt.
PHANG-NGA BAY NP
We drove around the bay into Phang-Nga Province. Ao Phang Nga National Park encompasses 50 islands and the north tips of the Yao Islands.
It was already late in the day from all that waterfall pumping. Thankfully my flight from Phuket wasn’t until midnight. We drove direct to the HQ and chartered a longtail. 1500B +600 park entry.
This was great because it ended up being a private sunset cruise. We had James Bond Island all to ourselves. Romantic.
JAMES FUCKING BOND
They kick big tours off at 5pm but we stayed later. You’ll remember this as Scaramonga’s lair from Man With the Golden Gun. If I remember right, the love interest helps Bond win the ridiculous duel.
The tour stops by some other formations and caves. We walked around Ko Punyi too. This Muslim stilt village is famous for the floating soccer pitch cobbled together by kids who later became champions.
I wish we had more time to rent kayaks and spend a day here.
PHUKET VS KRABI AIRPORT
I wanted to shower so we drove towards Phuket. Most places near the airport are overpriced. We stopped just north of the bridge. Pha-Nga had a decent budget place to clean up and relax for a few hours.
My girl dropped me at Phuket airport. Sweetheart. Saved me 2500B cab ride from Krabi. Then drove 3 hours back. She waited several more hours for the first morning ferry.
This was a real help. There’s only one morning bus and ferry from Krabi to Phuket town. Then I’d still have to get up to the airport. Nothing beats being dropped off curbside and kissed goodbye.
Flying out of Krabi Airport pretty much means a connection in Bangkok. Anything international seemed to be hundreds of dollars.
From Phuket I was able to get a cheap last minute flight to China for less than $75.
***CONCLUSION***
Thailand’s Andaman Sea Islands are great for sightseeing and getaways. I wouldn’t recommend it for anything underwater.
The tourist season is so crowded. I was able to get away from it here and there. Having a car and driver helped.
I think you’re better off doing the islands from Bangkok. Hub and spoke travel. Rent a condo. Bring BK girls down for weekends.
Those girls go all the time anyway. They should be able to at least pay their own flights. Advance tickets can be as little as $20. Then you can relax and enjoy it.
***TROLL***
Thanks for reading. I got tired towards the end. Even though the seat goes 180 flat. And I’ve had a few. Im ready to get back to enjoying the movies and snacks here in first class.
I just finished Alpha. This caveman tames a wolf. Then they have pups together. Holy shit, alright!
Oh wait I forgot. This is impossible. Especially during holidays. Tell me again what you think you know.
AHAHAHAHAHA
Don’t let your head explode again, lmfao. I *try* to share solid info. If you don’t want to listen it’s on you. Someone in the industry did say “actually, he’s right.”
Thailand vets weighed in: “you never get upfront on long-hauls” blah blah. That’s funny. I usually manage it. Along with all my other “fantastical” adventures.
Can’t believe it? Not YOUR experience?? Consider that, perhaps, YOU are doing something wrong. For instance, settling for drunk banging fatties in paradise...
I’ll be over in the Iberian peninsula for New Years. Then cruising some Mediterranean islands for 2019.
Several members have verified everything written here by text, video, photo, location pins, voice messages, etc. Solid info.
Banning as “troll*” bores me. Be more creative and butt hurt. It fills me with glee.
I still smirk when Papa Roo banned me for “wild and unsubstantiated claims”.
So whatever happened to the guy who was looking to hire an assistant for the Thai islands?
How’d that go?? Genuinely curious to read what that was like.
Oh man they just kidnapped Getty’s kid. Great way to time travel. America’s first billionaire. You California fools need to get your ass over to his museum. That shit is better than Pompeii.
Ko Lanta (Yai)
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SUMMARY
Lanta is Krabi’s largest island. It is two islands connected by car ferry and bridge to the Thai mainland.
The tourist island is Yai (south one). There’s a little nightlife. It’s spread out, chill, and rotates nightly. The coral is dead/dying, but snorkel trips are still good for sightseeing.
Lanta was “discovered” in the 1980s. It is overrun by western tourists on motorbikes. Most come for the beaches and island hopping day trips. But still not as bad as Phuket or Phi Phi.
LOGISTICS
Lanta’s west coast faces the Andaman Sea. This side has a string of big bays, most of which have been overdeveloped for tourism. This is where you’ll want to stay. The two most touristy beaches are Phra Ae in the north and Khantiang in the south.
The east side is almost entirely undeveloped for tourism except a small (still quaint!) old town village. This was the main trading port until the late 1980s.
The east coast is a tranquil motorbike drive. Main stops are the monkey school, a small museum in old town, and a quick look at the sea gypsy village.
On Saturdays old town has a walking street market. Some day trips leave from a new pier here. There are also mangrove tours and kayaking to sea caves on islets.
SALADAN
Speedboats come into Saladan port at the northern tip. The bridge also connects here. Saladan is the main town. It has an OK beach (at high tide due to coastal erosion). There are accommodations and shops galore. But the scenic areas and attractions are further south.
The further south you drive on Lanta, the less developed. I stayed the next beach down in Phra Ae (Long Beach). A trike taxi to Phra Ae was 100B (haggled down from (250). Expect to pay much more if youre staying south.
ACCOMMODATION
I found an isolated bungalow for 400B (way off the beach). Some high end resorts charge 20 times that for a fancy cliff hugging bungalow with sea views. AC rooms near the beach start around 1200B.
I rented a motorbike for 200B. I only kept it a few days. The tours include pickup/drop off. After a few days I met a local girl who had a car.
NIGHTLIFE
There is some nightlife in Phra Ae. It is spread out and I got annoyed walking along the beach or main road. Most people go to the cafe/bar nearest there hotel for dinner and drinks.
Some bars host parties. They are super chill compared to the “full moon” variety. My first night I hit one at Fusion Beach Bar 3km south. Another time I followed the lit bottles to a small beach bar; not even are the name.
Watch for signs around the roads announcing party dates. I saw some wacky stuff like “body painting party” and “mushroom party”. Sounds fun but don’t expect much.
Again, walking in Lanta is inefficient. You’ll struggle to find viable targets. Most girls I talked to are with someone. It’s better to rest and go out to the nightly party around 11pm.
Most young girls stay in a dorm/backpacker guesthouse. These are a bit scattered. Some have their own restaurant/bars. So it’s kinda a cluster fuck unless you’re also staying there or next door.
MOTORBIKE GAME
Every time I saw a hot girl I was zooming by on motorbike. Dressed full ninja against the sun. I tried screeching to a halt, turning, and rolling up beside her. The vibe just seemed off.
I think this could work if you’re tanned, jacked, and just out for a leisure cruise (with your shirt off). Then roll it into an instadate. The Thai caveman does this. Curious how a tourist would fare...
Collecting numbers is rather useless. Most young girls are passing through for 2-3 days. They are too cheap to bother getting SIM cards. They rely on WiFi and you’ll be lucky to get a text response or two.
No bar on the island was ever hopping unless it’s their night to host the rotating party. They’re all pretty chill. Go to another island for crazy parties. Lanta probably isn’t for you.
Check the Lanta Nightlife Facebook page (or ask bar staff) where the party is each night. The locations can be hard to find even with GPS. Little bottles of fire are lit on the backroads to guide you into the venues.
WEATHER
The weather was mostly overcast/rainy during my time here. This effects beach parties. People still come, but less. It also makes it hard to isolate for a “walk”. Everyone huddles under the little available shelter.
Even on dry nights the Lanta parties are a bit lame and disappointing. People do dance and there are girls there. I did OK.
I suggest to arrive early. Cliques will form back at hostels. People pile into trike taxis to the party. The ratios get much worse as the night progresses. Past 1-2am you may be left with mostly ladyboys and dudes who didn’t pull .
You can certainly pull backpacker ass here. I pulled a local. Beware it’s dark and shadowy. Perfect place for sneaky ladyboys. Get confirmation of a self-lubricating vagina *before* finishing the first drink.
There is some chill “nightlife” in Khiantang. Why Not bar had a fire show at 8:30pm. It only lasts a half hour. A bottle of Chang is 100. The other end of the beach has a hangout bar called Same Same But Different Bar.
I’d suggest having dinner at the terraces restaurants on the south end of the beach road. Then head to Why Not. Don’t expect a lot of targets. It’s mostly couples and families.
Be aware there’s no real budget accommodations here. It’s entirely couples and families staying at mid-range and high end resorts. Not many young backpacker girls come here. But you could get lucky.
GIRLS
Like all the other Thai islands, Lanta is mostly couples and families. The young single girls are all in pairs and tend to stay in the cheapest dorms around Phra Ae.
The couples tend to stay further south in resorts at beaches like Khlong Kong, Nin, Khiantong, etc.
Good luck if you’re solo! Most guys are in groups. I saw very very few solo travelers. Even I coupled up almost immediately.
ATTRACTIONS
The coastal road isn’t pretty until you’re well south of Phra Ae. The views really start to get nice at the south end, around Khantiang. From here the road climbs past some nice terraced bamboo cafes perfect for sunset.
The road continues last a few less developed bays. This entire southern tip of Lanta is “protected” as Mu Ko Lanta National Park. There’s a lighthouse and nature trail. Also a decent waterfall (reduced to a trickle in dry season).
There’s two decent caves, elephant riding, monkey and snake shows. Most everything seems to be a 200-300B minimum.
ISLAND HOPPING
Lanta is probably Thailand’s best base for island hopping. You can get daily, direct boats to islands in the Provinces of Trang, Krabi, Phuket, and Satun!
There’s also direct minivans to Surat Thani if you’re trying to get a ferry to the Gulf islands like Samui. The day I left Saladan for Phi Phi, I met two American girls taking the ferry to Phuket. Just so they could fly to Samui for the full moon party.
Mu Ko Lanta National Park is actually a marine park that includes parts of several other islands: Ko Rok, Ko Ha, and Ko Ngai (in Trang Province).
I skipped most of the Trang Islands when I came from Satun. Day trips make it possible to visit several Trang Islands from Lanta. Daily “4 island” snorkeling trips stop in: Ko Muk, Ko Kradan, Ngai, and usually one of the the karst islets: Waen, Cheuk, or Mah.
If you’re on a budget you can do this trip by a small longtail for as little as 600B. A speedboat is 1200B. Chartering your own boat is 2500.
This doesn’t include the National Park fee which can be as much as 600B for scuba diving (usually 200B snorkeling). Thai’s usually don’t pay anything. Essentially it’s a tax on foreigners for ruining the Andaman Sea. You’re welcome!
Some tourists bring their bags and get off on the last island (Ngai) instead of returning to Lanta. If you’re heading south anyway this saves an extra trip and paying a 450B speedboat fare the next morning.
Another popular daily trip is snorkeling in Ko Rok Islands (Nok & Noi). This is probably the most scenic day trip besides Phi Phi. The coral was the best here too.
My trip included a stop at Ko Ha for 1600B altogether. The coral at both archipelagos is dead or dying. I’d even say skip the Andaman Sea altogether. Especially if you’re heading to islands like Cebu in the Philippines.
SCUBA
Thailand’s second best snorkel spot, Hin Daeng, is about two hours offshore. Next to it is a second seamount called Hin Maung.
Both are always packaged together. Most dive operators now force you to book a third dive (usually Ko Ha). The three dive package schemes usually includes breakfast and lunch on the boat.
I found this excessive. It results in a ridiculously early pickup: 6:30am. Most operators run out of Saladan. A few like Scubafish might leave from your beach.
It’s worth checking first and booking directly. This can shave a few hours off a long day and prevent an uncomfortable ride in the back of a trike or truck.
There are some other karst islets of less interest such as Bida & Ma. There’s also a wreck, King Cruiser, on the far side of Phi Phi. I wouldn’t waste the time and money.
DEAD CORAL
Unfortunately, the entire Andaman Sea is stressed by pollution. The snorkeling/scuba from Langkawi to Phuket is poor. Where it’s not bleached, the hard coral is dull brown and often damaged.
Locals say its not that bad. They are either lying, morons, or naive. I was trained by Dive Masters (PADI top 2%) who’ve traveled the world and experienced the Andaman decades ago. They won’t come here anymore.
If you’re new/learning to dive (and haven’t snorkeled anywhere else) I guess it’s OK. You probably won’t understand you’re looking at a dying ecosystem.
FREEDIVING
Learning to free dive here might be a better option. Despite the advertisements (see the ocean on a single breath) when you’re learning to free dive you don’t explore the ocean. You go up and down a weighted rope. Purists even encourage you to close your eyes.
Actually is save your money on freediving courses. I got certified in Moalboal. It was a ripoff. You can watch the videos free online. Anything above 5-10m is fine to practice on your own, or even alone, if you’re in decent shape.
EXPONENTIAL TOURISM
I trained in Mactan (Cebu) and snorkeled all over Micronesia. I found the Andaman Sea to be boring, even downright depressing. Firstly it has far less biodiversity than other areas of the coral triangle. Secondly it now looks like an underwater version of Walking Dead.
What happened? Decades of rampant development and heavy tourism. Yes , turning stands of casuarina trees into strip malls has an effect below the water. So does millions of tourists criss-crossing the same sea lanes.
PACKAGE TOURISM
Day after day there are dozens of boats all stopping in the same little areas. Stop and think about this happening over a few generations... And at an ever increasing rate. Now you can begin to imagine.
Entire reefs are dead or dying. Lanta’s shorelines are now unprotected and have begun washing away. This is a problem particularly in the north. This has happened to beaches in Mecca’s like Bali.
UNPROFESSIONAL OPERATORS
This hasn’t stopped tour operators from buying bigger boats, increasing their dive schedules, classes, and charging absurd prices.
I was really only interested to dive Hin Daeng. Operators know this and force you to include Hin Maung (and usually Ko Ha) for a three dive minimum. Then pretend to care about the marine environment. “Please don’t flush the toilet until we haul up the anchor.” AHAHAHAHA
5700B was the cheapest I could find for a day of diving Hin Daeng. Even then you’re usualy waiting days for suitable conditions. 600B is the National Park daily fee. Ouch. That’s a lot to look at some dead coral!
Thailand’s dive prices are 2-3 times what I paid in PH. Even worse boats and the dives themselves are overcrowded. This mentality is indicative of the Catch-22 relationship Thailand has with tourism dollars. Soon they’ll just have to start closing islands and beaches like they did with Maya in Phi Phi.
I booked my dives through Phoenix but wouldn’t recommend them. I got lumped with “Blue Planet” (lmao at the name) which has a beautiful new yacht with great catered meals.
Unfortunately their new boat still dumps sewage directly into the sea. They take 30-40 divers out on it. Then stuff them FULL of food. You can imagine how much crap goes into the ocean around all their dive sites. Wonderful.
Many of the divers in my boat had guides from different operators. So there was confusion. With all the bullshit we didn’t even dive until 10:30am. And the dives were shit.
NO REFUNDS
The captain got all the way to Hin Daeng (two hours) then decided to turn around immediately. Made an excuse about an engine problem. Yeah right. After two hours full throttle? Fucker just didn’t want to sit around in a bit of chop.
I noticed he miraculously had us at full throttle the remaining 5 hours at sea. Uh yeahhh....
Another hour we get to Ko Ha (which we had passed right by two hours prior). We dive; my guide breaks a few PADI protocols. I’m relaxed about it as usual. Then he chews me out over his mistakes.
I make a video in front of the crew. I use the word “unprofessional” which got them in a twist. A moment later I’m vindicated.
CRASH
El Capitan smashes their brand new yacht into their 30 year old boat. The morons had their sterns abutting with no bumpers. They were trying to offload PADI students doing certification dives. Wonderful.
I send the video to PADI. I’m sure that’s just what they want to see. Students being used as human bumpers. Good luck keeping your license, idiots.
Pieces of the boat start floating away. Life jackets are being tossed into the water. Uncertified students are jumping into the water and clambering for ladders with full (but empty) tanks on. What a shit show.
LOST GUIDES
Second dive the lead guide from Blue Planet got lost. Surfaces on far side of island without boat in sight. Shit happens.
I wasn’t given a snorkel so I put my regulator back in and surfaced swam. Funny thing was when we suited up I had asked “where’s my snorkel?” My guide said if this happens just use your remaking O2.
On the boat now I have the Blue Planet guide run his mouth at me. Uh what? Are you high? You got lost idiot. That was your mistake.
Shit happens. I don’t care. Just don’t go blaming other people. If we are going to dictate PADI protocols I watched you break a handful and rattled them all off. Your welcome idiot.
NO DISCOUNTS
They wanted 4100B for the improvised dives. I paid in full, but let them know I’d appreciate a discount. Consider that the main dive was called off for engine trouble, boats crashed, confused guides, etc. Owner says “well that’s life,” no discount.
Hmm. Honest question: this is my first dive in Thailand. Is dead coral and unprofessionalism the standard to be expected? Based on this experience, I’d never dive the Andaman Sea again.
Dude loses his shit. Starts threatening me. Oh wow. I post the crash video online and write a report to PADI and the Thai Tourist Authority. Your welcome idiot. A simple “sorry” would have been enough.
BEING THAI SUCKS
I kinda got a bit sick of the dynamics in Lanta. My girl was working at a big resort that starts around 20,000/night. She had four days off but kept getting called in to work early mornings for 60 year old SJWs “requesting” her.
More like demand. Bitches were threatening to checkout early if they didn’t get what they wanted. Shit I might too for . We finally had a few days together and drove to Krabi for the hot springs around Khlong Thom. Her phone was ringing constantly demanding she come in. This is your boss, cancel your holiday. Thanks slave.
We spent decided to just leave Krabi and spend a night down in Trang. Her boss is calling past 8pm, “The hotel will lose too much money!!”
I had a Japanese gf that worked in tourism. I watched her boss do the same shit. Phone constantly ringing over dumb shit. Some 70 year old infant didn’t get breakfast. Come in on Saturday. Blah blah.
Obviously they can’t fire her if customers like her that much. I tell her exactly what to say: “OK, I’ll be there, but then I’m quitting to work for a resort that treats its employees better.” Magically they find someone to cover.
KHLONG THOM, KRABI
Khlong Thom had a small, but nice hot springs waterfall. You have to take the bridge and car ferry for about 1.5 hours.
Tour groups from Krabi town arrive around noon. The crowding makes it hard to enjoy. Arrive early before it’s overrun. Nearby is a crystal clear peat swamp called Emerald Pool.
HAT CHAO MAI NATIONAL PARK
We spent a night down in Trang Province. The shoreline around Pak Meng & Chang Lang is way, way less touristy than up at Ao Nang.
Chao Mai National Park covers the entire shoreline here. Thailand actually seems serious about protecting this gem from development. The government successfully shuttered the shore’s first and only 5 star resort.
There’s now ZERO development on the beach side of the road. Just a lovely stand of casuarinas that stretches for miles.
Heading home we detoured through Trang town. Nothing to see here but a night market. I guess try only sell the roasted pork in the daytime. Kinda a wasted endeavor.
Barely made it back for the last ferry at 10pm. This is the one annoying thing about Lanta. It’s a great hub for island hopping. But the connection to mainland is limited by a 6am-10pm ferry. Miss it and your stuck getting another room.
____________
KO PHI PHI
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SUMMARY
Pee Pee is technically a national park of six islands. Phi Phi Don is the main island and the only one with accommodations.
Pee Pee Leh is mostly rock with a few large coves. It’s the must do day trip. You can’t camp on Maya Beach anymore, but you can sleep on a boat.
There’s a lame beach party scene in the tourist village. Ugly drunk backpackers.
PHI PHI DON
I took the ferry from Lanta which was much cheaper than a speedboat. It still only took an hour. Trade off being it only leaves twice per day out of Saladan.
McDonald’s is at the end of the pier. This says a lot about the kind of gross tourist girls you will find here. Theres also lots of families. Prices are a bit expensive.
I saw most of the island on a half/full day boat trip. I also spent a few more days hiking around Phi Phi Don. There are a many viewpoints.
The east shore has several cove beaches. As you go north they become more expensive. The northernmost, Laem Tham, is 10-20,000B/night.
At low tide the bays look like shit. The island is isolated enough from mainland, that snorkeling was better than other islands in the Andaman. Coral still damaged and dying. But more biodiversity in the fish.
TONSAI
The tourist village has all the budget accommodations. Most backpackers book their tours here and leave from the pier. Expect to pay 1200B for a half day speedboat.
The beach bars are Stones, Apache, Ibiza, etc. They have shitty hostels attached for 300B/night. If you want to sleep avoid staying here. If you want to fuck ugly British fatties you should stay here.
I found a quiet guesthouse 5 min walk away. I paid 900B/night for an AC room. You can go a bit cheaper but you’ll be right next to the inner bar street. The bars are crowded but lame.
Avoid the 800B rooms around the bar street. They have poor reviews. Noise, no towel or top sheet, fan only. The Banyan Village has a nice gym for 400B/day.
TOURS
Speedboats are twice the price of longtails but faster, less noisy, and more comfortable. You can’t really get up and walk around on longtails.
You can see most of the islands on half/full day boat trips. I spent a few more days hiking around Phi Phi Don. Since the island is isolated from mainland the snorkeling here was better than other islands.
Phi Phi Leh was used in the film The Beach. It’s set in 1996 before smartphones. A Khaosan road backpacker becomes disillusioned with the tourism industry and leaves Bangkok.
He goes to the Thai islands which are already as overrun by tourists. The secret island he finds also turns to shit. Bonus: you get to see Thaís gun down some idiot backpackers. Lmfao.
GIRLS
There are hot women. Unfortunately most come with their boyfriend. I only saw hot girls walking around daytime and a few around the resort beaches. At night it’s mostly 5-6s and below.
Loh Dalum has four trashy beach bars that party until about 2am. 99% of the girls are busted. This beach is on the backside of Tonsai.
I got to Phi Phi for the full moon. This is probably a bad time to go. The ferry was full of people going in the opposite direction.
Everyone wants to go to the full moon party on Ko Pha-Nga on the opposite side of Thailand. Being Xmas there was still a crowd.
On Xmas eve my wing said numbers were 50% higher. The ratio however is still around 10:1. This plus the drunk rave dynamic makes things awkward. It’s pretty much drunk game/last man standing.
Tonsai Village has some dumb bars too. The scene there is equally lame. If you like to sit around drunk singing to “I said maybeeee” and playing beer pong you’ll have a blast.
Your best bet is going out around dinner and socially opening sets with a wing. Later at the beach and bars you won’t be a stranger. You’ll have some minor social context for approaches.
This isn’t necessary for ugly girls. However there are so few 6-7s they are at a premium. So you’ll need to set yourself apart.
I also noticed the few cute/hot girls don’t get sloppy drunk. There were a few sets of cute Asian and western tourists treating the party scene like a tourist attraction. Patrolling the beach, but not really wanting to interact with anyone.
If a girl isn’t drinking I’d say give up immediately. It’s too easy to fuck someone else than to waste all night and end up with nothing.
GUYS
Most guys are young and sloppy. They drink and dance with each other. Uh wa. There’s a fair number of muscle fags showing off their tan.
It’s pretty humbling to see jacked men in ketosis dancing up on chubby, ugly 4-5s. And women complain they have it harder than men. Yeah right.
Try lifting strenuously for years. These fatties looked like they never even bothered with cardio, let alone a sensible diet. Its not like they’re dressing pretty and doing makeup either. Just lazy war pigs.
If you’re not picky it’s fine. Bang yourself silly. I banged athletic young girls in high school and college. I personally felt weird and disgusted by what I saw.
My wing spent a night with a drunk Russian couple. Boyfriend was shit-faced. He thought it was hilarious a stranger was making out and finger banging the hot gf. She was a legit 8-9.
He got them home but in the end she decided not to cheat. Keep in mind, he speaks Russian. And for an entire week prior he was settling for butter-faced poles and such.
I could go into a bit more detail on Phi Phi. Why bother?
Personally, I don’t feel like it’s worth going here alone. The exception would be if you can tolerate daytime beach game. You could hook some decently attractive women.
After 3 days I saw everything. I took a ferry north to Ao Nang. My girl from Lanta drove to meet me.
____________
AO NANG
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The afternoon ferry took about two hours. The boat stops in Railay to let off a few passengers. Longtails have to tender them in from ferry.
It was worth the 400B just to see the sunset around Railay and Chicken Island. The ticket includes a taxi from Noppharat Thara National Park HQ (where the longtails actually land).
Noppharat Beach is further north. It is usually the quieter choice, but has a big night market until February. Part of the Thailand Biennial.
The beach at Ao Nang is tourism central. Tons of budget guest houses and lined with longtails for day trips. I didn’t do anymore nightlife the rest of my trip.
Interestingly there was a hot girl on my ferry. My wing and I opened her the night before. I was in bad mood and exhausted (had fallen on rocks after a 7 hour hike).
Her set wasn’t drinking and doing the tourist thing so we gave up. When I opened her a second time on the ferry she responded much better.
I even got her back to my hotel. Unfortunately my girl was already on the way up from Lanta. I didn’t press for the bang as I felt it was still unlikely.
This demonstrates a few things about phi phi:
1. You’ll do better if you are opening a set you’ve already opened earlier that day or before.
2. You’ll do better catching them alone and away from the competitive beach/bar area.
3. She was easily 3 points better than any other girl we saw that night, but only on island for a day. Loner hot girls are rare and generally don’t stick around partying all week. Beware putting in the work.
4. She was basically there to wander around and take a few nice selfies. She raved about trying scuba for the first time. I didn’t have the heart to tell her actually it sucks compared to the rest of the coral triangle. You have to me too these untraveled bitches. Oh isn’t it all so magical!!!
KRABI TOWN
I was at the end of my trip and pressed for time. I didn’t make it down to Railay. It’s popular for rock climbing schools and has a cool horn (cave lagoon).
We had her car so drove down to the fossil shell beach. The limestone Gastropoda fossils are 20-40 million years old. I can’t understand why the signs all say 75 million.
We also drove to Tiger Cave Temple. The 1200+ steps up are grueling. Awesome views over Krabi. The resident macaques are fun to fuck with too.
MASSAGE, STRETCH, YOGA
It was nice having a girl to travel with again. She stretched me out and massaged me twice a day. In bed.
Followed by naughty yoga ;-)
Guys make fun of me for this. Yeah that’s because you’re not really doing much with your life. Try pushing it.
I don’t think many people experience what it’s like to push hard sightseeing. Hitting multiple places a day and doing media.
You come home exhausted on a daily basis. Then still have to exercise and do some online work. That’s a lot.
Waking up and falling asleep to physical therapy+sex is golden. However it’s really only worthwhile when a woman has taken anatomy and physiology.
Otherwise you’re basically just getting a back rub. It can feel good. But its not sports massage.
KHAO PHANOM BENCHA NP
Next morning we drove to Krabi’s only inland national park, Khao Phanom Bencha. (The rest are marine parks encompassing shoreline and islands.)
KPB National Park has a couple great waterfalls that are an easy hike. Huai To has 5 cascades and Sakah 3. I humped the shit out of everyone of them. Very wet and sexual. Made that waterfall squirt.
PHANG-NGA BAY NP
We drove around the bay into Phang-Nga Province. Ao Phang Nga National Park encompasses 50 islands and the north tips of the Yao Islands.
It was already late in the day from all that waterfall pumping. Thankfully my flight from Phuket wasn’t until midnight. We drove direct to the HQ and chartered a longtail. 1500B +600 park entry.
This was great because it ended up being a private sunset cruise. We had James Bond Island all to ourselves. Romantic.
JAMES FUCKING BOND
They kick big tours off at 5pm but we stayed later. You’ll remember this as Scaramonga’s lair from Man With the Golden Gun. If I remember right, the love interest helps Bond win the ridiculous duel.
The tour stops by some other formations and caves. We walked around Ko Punyi too. This Muslim stilt village is famous for the floating soccer pitch cobbled together by kids who later became champions.
I wish we had more time to rent kayaks and spend a day here.
PHUKET VS KRABI AIRPORT
I wanted to shower so we drove towards Phuket. Most places near the airport are overpriced. We stopped just north of the bridge. Pha-Nga had a decent budget place to clean up and relax for a few hours.
My girl dropped me at Phuket airport. Sweetheart. Saved me 2500B cab ride from Krabi. Then drove 3 hours back. She waited several more hours for the first morning ferry.
This was a real help. There’s only one morning bus and ferry from Krabi to Phuket town. Then I’d still have to get up to the airport. Nothing beats being dropped off curbside and kissed goodbye.
Flying out of Krabi Airport pretty much means a connection in Bangkok. Anything international seemed to be hundreds of dollars.
From Phuket I was able to get a cheap last minute flight to China for less than $75.
***CONCLUSION***
Thailand’s Andaman Sea Islands are great for sightseeing and getaways. I wouldn’t recommend it for anything underwater.
The tourist season is so crowded. I was able to get away from it here and there. Having a car and driver helped.
I think you’re better off doing the islands from Bangkok. Hub and spoke travel. Rent a condo. Bring BK girls down for weekends.
Those girls go all the time anyway. They should be able to at least pay their own flights. Advance tickets can be as little as $20. Then you can relax and enjoy it.
***TROLL***
Thanks for reading. I got tired towards the end. Even though the seat goes 180 flat. And I’ve had a few. Im ready to get back to enjoying the movies and snacks here in first class.
I just finished Alpha. This caveman tames a wolf. Then they have pups together. Holy shit, alright!
Oh wait I forgot. This is impossible. Especially during holidays. Tell me again what you think you know.
AHAHAHAHAHA
Don’t let your head explode again, lmfao. I *try* to share solid info. If you don’t want to listen it’s on you. Someone in the industry did say “actually, he’s right.”
Thailand vets weighed in: “you never get upfront on long-hauls” blah blah. That’s funny. I usually manage it. Along with all my other “fantastical” adventures.
Can’t believe it? Not YOUR experience?? Consider that, perhaps, YOU are doing something wrong. For instance, settling for drunk banging fatties in paradise...
I’ll be over in the Iberian peninsula for New Years. Then cruising some Mediterranean islands for 2019.
Several members have verified everything written here by text, video, photo, location pins, voice messages, etc. Solid info.
Banning as “troll*” bores me. Be more creative and butt hurt. It fills me with glee.
I still smirk when Papa Roo banned me for “wild and unsubstantiated claims”.
So whatever happened to the guy who was looking to hire an assistant for the Thai islands?
How’d that go?? Genuinely curious to read what that was like.
Oh man they just kidnapped Getty’s kid. Great way to time travel. America’s first billionaire. You California fools need to get your ass over to his museum. That shit is better than Pompeii.
I've only been to Koh Phi Phi so I can say that report is pretty spot on. The guys here are 60x better looking than the girls. Not sure how that happened. My most fun night so far was hanging out with the drunk Russian couple. The reason I came here is because I heard you could meet Nordic and Russian. Haven't met any Russians yet that aren't on a couple... needless to say I'm not having much luck haha. But the warm weather is a welcome break from Sibera so I'm going to stay here awhile longer.
^Didn’t even know you were a member. Game recognizes game.
Someone invent an RVF secret handshake. I read about this in the booklet “How to be a ninja”. So ninjas can recognize each other. Ninjas.
Someone invent an RVF secret handshake. I read about this in the booklet “How to be a ninja”. So ninjas can recognize each other. Ninjas.
Quote: (12-07-2018 09:01 AM)JimBobsCooters Wrote:
Quote: (12-07-2018 08:29 AM)Mentavious Wrote:
Would love to see a mini data sheet of all the big end places in Phuket
What do you mean by "big end"?
High end..damn auto correct
Seems like Bang Tao is the place to go for this?
Do Russians and other Eastern Europeans atop coming in April?
A man is only as faithful as his options-Chris Rock
I decided to visit Phuket due to some positive reviews in a rather old thread, thread-41386.html. Seduction Club no longer exists, it's been replaced by Sugar Club. I was denied entry there due to a "private party" (yes, I was rolling solo with no females in my "group"), but all females trying to enter were of course welcome. I visited Illuzions and White Room instead. I visited on a Saturday between Christmas and New Year's Eve hoping to find some Russians there. Well, it didn't go so well, but at least a record was broken. My sausage fest record was broken, it used to belong to Klub Pod Palmą in Rzeszow, Poland, but it has now easily been broken by Illuzions and White Room.
Quote: (12-06-2018 09:16 PM)Ceasar Wrote:
Quote: (12-06-2018 09:02 PM)Ceasar Wrote:
Quote: (11-12-2018 07:21 AM)Ceasar Wrote:
I'm thinking of doing a month in Phuket this winter. Any recommendations on finding a place for a longer stay? Generally when I travel, I go for a half-way decent hotel. However, for a month, I'll need to be somewhat budget conscious...
Bumping this... What is the consensus on Karon beach? Boring?
Also, what about NYE in Phuket vs. Phi Phi?
Also, do hotels let you bring in Thai girls? Or is Airbnb the way to go?
So, Karon Beach was indeed packed to the gills with Russians, many of the no/bad English variety (and not Muscovites). Probably 70% of the people I saw on the beach were Russian. It's not a night spot, and you'll pay $15 taxi to Patong. Mostly families and couples, but you'll find girls willing to mingle if you look.
My experience: on my first day I met a hot Russian girl travelling alone, and dated her for the duration. I might have just gotten lucky though, as I only spent a total of 3 hours trying to pick up on the beach while there (I didn't have any trouble -- it seems one can just walk up and down the beach and take down numbers/instagram of girls that catch your fancy). On tinder I did see some hot Scandinavian talent, but they were probably in nice resorts somewhere as I barely saw them in real life. I kind of regret sticking with the one girl though, as it was less exciting and I'm curious what I could have done had I been gaming daily.
I took my girl out in Patong one night. I wouldn't have traded her for anything I saw. The clubs there were sausage fests. With some game + looks, many guys on this forum wouldn't have had trouble pulling there though. Most dudes there are for the P4P, and look like it, and so wouldn't be competition.
NYE in Phi Phi was off the hook. Easy to pick up. I hooked some french girls on the boat from phuket, and then a Brazilian girl at a pool party. Phi Phi was good fun, and the islands there are beautiful. Only knock on it is that there were a lot of bros. My ferry from Phuket was easily 2/3rds male. Phi Phi was much more international, and I did see some stunning talent, although there is also chiseled-body male competition. A surprising number of Brazilians. Fewer Russians. Plenty of northern Europeans. My girl came to Phi Phi after me, and said she overheard two Russian girls talking. It seems they came to Phi Phi with no money and no place to stay, and just planned to find guys to mooch off of! My Russian girl backed out of a promised menage with one of the French girls though -- said she was too ugly! lol. Disappointing end to NYE -- no triple.
With the Russians/Europeans around I didn't bother with local girls.
My hotel in Karon Beach said they'd charge 500 baht extra if you bring back a girl. However, my Russian girl brought her passport, registered her, and we didn't have to pay. If you bring back white girls my feeling is that it won't be much of an issue, but you'll be paying if you bring back local girls.
Comparing Karon Beach to Nha Trang, Vietnam, I'd say the nice thing about Karon Beach is that the density on the beach made it an ideal place to mingle. Nha Trang's beach was not remotely dense enough when I was there, but it had one club where all the single Russian girls would go. Not sure Phuket has that. Russian-speaking non-night gamers would likely see value in Karon Beach.
Been to Karon before and it was the absolute snorefest. Deader than dead at night and mostly (russian) families or couples. Not going there ever if I have to stay in Phuket again.
Sounds like you were lucky finding girls alone and even a solo girl !
Sounds like you were lucky finding girls alone and even a solo girl !
Quote: (01-03-2019 09:10 PM)randomA Wrote:
Been to Karon before and it was the absolute snorefest. Deader than dead at night and mostly (russian) families or couples. Not going there ever if I have to stay in Phuket again.
Sounds like you were lucky finding girls alone and even a solo girl !
I very well might have just gotten lucky. What is your Russian ability like, and how long ago were you there?
I'm also not sure if I went to Phuket again stalk Russian girls in winter, if I'd do Karon beach. I'm staying in Patong now, but my try somewhere like Bang Tao, or keep to Patong.
Overall, I'd say Phuket/Thailand is a good place to stalk Russian girls in winter. Karon beach can be thought of as a warm version of Krasnoyarsk.
And, aside from the Russian girls, it's a good region to travel in to escape the European winter. I can recommend, although I'd probably rate it a 8.5 or 9/10.
Quote: (01-03-2019 09:10 PM)randomA Wrote:
Been to Karon before and it was the absolute snorefest. Deader than dead at night and mostly (russian) families or couples. Not going there ever if I have to stay in Phuket again.
Sounds like you were lucky finding girls alone and even a solo girl !
Karon is for day-game on the beach. Then they all go to Patong at night.
The Patong debauchery gets tiring after a few days tho. But thats where everyone goes so better get your logistics over there and only visit Karon by bike for beach pickup.
Kophiphi are for thunder-thighs scandinavians. Over-rated. Koh samui was cool 10 years ago, now its very low class. Koh phan gan is probably the most mixed spot, but completly dead when its not around fullmoon dates.
Send me BTC at this adress = x80083x1337x80083
Looks like a sausage fest of Westerners looking to bang locals.
Ultimately, we should care more about being effective than simply nobly intentioned. It is not enough to dream well: the true measure is what we achieve.
Quote: (01-05-2019 05:40 AM)HD668B Wrote:
Quote: (01-03-2019 09:10 PM)randomA Wrote:
Been to Karon before and it was the absolute snorefest. Deader than dead at night and mostly (russian) families or couples. Not going there ever if I have to stay in Phuket again.
Sounds like you were lucky finding girls alone and even a solo girl !
Karon is for day-game on the beach. Then they all go to Patong at night.
The Patong debauchery gets tiring after a few days tho. But thats where everyone goes so better get your logistics over there and only visit Karon by bike for beach pickup.
Kophiphi are for thunder-thighs scandinavians. Over-rated. Koh samui was cool 10 years ago, now its very low class. Koh phan gan is probably the most mixed spot, but completly dead when its not around fullmoon dates.
Send me BTC at this adress = x80083x1337x80083
Mostly agreed here. I had good fun in Phi Phi though.
I will be in Phuket for the whole month of February 2019. If anybody wants to hang out - feel free to get in touch.
P.S. I am not really into getting trashed at the bars and banging anything that moves...more into experiences, intelligent conversations and quality women..
P.S. I am not really into getting trashed at the bars and banging anything that moves...more into experiences, intelligent conversations and quality women..
Quote: (01-29-2019 01:43 PM)IndependentAndy Wrote:
I will be in Phuket for the whole month of February 2019. If anybody wants to hang out - feel free to get in touch.
P.S. I am not really into getting trashed at the bars and banging anything that moves...more into experiences, intelligent conversations and quality women..
So Patong is definitely not the place for you
![[Image: biggrin.gif]](https://rooshvforum.network/images/smilies/biggrin.gif)
Go to lounge bars like iguana which you need to travel by bike. Go for Russians.
Thanks for advice man. Which Iguana are you exactly talking about?.. north of Patong?
I was in Phuket for 2 weeks, and had limited success from daygame. Not real daygame - but indirect direct. Just 2 women in 2 weeks. Non Russian. Russian women seem to be quite difficult to approach, so I did not bother a lot.
It is not proper place for daygame. It is pretty difficult to find single girls or even girls with a female friend in Patong for example. One can see maybe one women with friend every 10 minutes and if they are alone they walk extremely fast they are almost running. And I have to add that most of them are Russians so, and their English is likely bad.
On the other side on beaches, like Surin or Bang Tao, most are couples, from time to time there are single girls but most of them do not look beautiful and then who knows if they speak English at all. And I did not see difference between Bang Tao beach, and all other beaches. All are the same, and some women are alone there, but it is not easy to find that out for sure. You have to spend a few minutes to determine that per each set, and this makes game quite inefficient. Maybe a good looking girl every 10 minutes walking and you need 10 minutes more to determine if she is really alone. Also most girls are not alone they are with friends.
I am not sure how would I approach them one the beach, indirect questions would be stupid for m and "could you take my picture" works ok.
So IMO day-game is poor, did anyone had any success with day game on the beach here?
Anyways I think its better to go to a Russia city for day game rather than try to game Russians here, unless you are good at game and you know Russian. And even then its tiresome to find a girl.
For nightgame do not know, but looks good from what I saw on Bangla road. Unfortunately I cannot do any night game.
It is not proper place for daygame. It is pretty difficult to find single girls or even girls with a female friend in Patong for example. One can see maybe one women with friend every 10 minutes and if they are alone they walk extremely fast they are almost running. And I have to add that most of them are Russians so, and their English is likely bad.
On the other side on beaches, like Surin or Bang Tao, most are couples, from time to time there are single girls but most of them do not look beautiful and then who knows if they speak English at all. And I did not see difference between Bang Tao beach, and all other beaches. All are the same, and some women are alone there, but it is not easy to find that out for sure. You have to spend a few minutes to determine that per each set, and this makes game quite inefficient. Maybe a good looking girl every 10 minutes walking and you need 10 minutes more to determine if she is really alone. Also most girls are not alone they are with friends.
I am not sure how would I approach them one the beach, indirect questions would be stupid for m and "could you take my picture" works ok.
So IMO day-game is poor, did anyone had any success with day game on the beach here?
Anyways I think its better to go to a Russia city for day game rather than try to game Russians here, unless you are good at game and you know Russian. And even then its tiresome to find a girl.
For nightgame do not know, but looks good from what I saw on Bangla road. Unfortunately I cannot do any night game.
Quote: (05-01-2018 01:36 AM)Bryce Wrote:
Girls
You're going to come across tourists from all over the world here. Mostly you'll see Russians, French, British, American, Australian, Asian, German and French Arab (moroccan, Algerian etc).
Forget the french arabs. The easiest to pick up will be the Australians, Germans and Russians. With the Russians you just need to know how to game them. If you like Russians then i recommend going from early December until end of March. This also coincides with the best weather (sunny pretty much every day)
What is the secret with Russians?
And how are they easy if you need to know how to game them?
And do you mean night game or daygame?
Daygame very tough with Russians.
Best way to game them is bars after dark, when they out on the prowl and a bit drunk.
This filters the women travelling without jealous 8 foot Ivan (who is a real hazard for day approaching Russian women in Phuket)
If you are going to day game them, you have to be sure they are solo or in all girl groups, and approach at beach OR at the markets!
I have had great success doing indirect approaches at markets, coming in to "white knight" haggle for them in Thai as they buying - DHV and great opener.
Just hang around the markets, pick you target and follow discreetly around, wait till they interact with Thai vendor and pounce.
Best way to game them is bars after dark, when they out on the prowl and a bit drunk.
This filters the women travelling without jealous 8 foot Ivan (who is a real hazard for day approaching Russian women in Phuket)
If you are going to day game them, you have to be sure they are solo or in all girl groups, and approach at beach OR at the markets!
I have had great success doing indirect approaches at markets, coming in to "white knight" haggle for them in Thai as they buying - DHV and great opener.
Just hang around the markets, pick you target and follow discreetly around, wait till they interact with Thai vendor and pounce.
Thanks. Do you do indirectly on the beach as well? Anything other than "can you take my picture", which worked in 50% of cases for me.
I would do bars, but they are way too loud for me. Would probably have permanent health problems because of that. Maybe quiet ones, but I am not sure if it is even possible to do standard London day-game model there.
I did one approach in market after got eye contact, hang around the market, got the number even date but messed up. But i was lucky then. Basically I have only said ""Hi, you look really beautifull" and some other crap. I tried around shopping malls the same but most of the time they did not know English.
Now I have a doubt, stay in Phuket or go to Hong Kong.
I would do bars, but they are way too loud for me. Would probably have permanent health problems because of that. Maybe quiet ones, but I am not sure if it is even possible to do standard London day-game model there.
I did one approach in market after got eye contact, hang around the market, got the number even date but messed up. But i was lucky then. Basically I have only said ""Hi, you look really beautifull" and some other crap. I tried around shopping malls the same but most of the time they did not know English.
Now I have a doubt, stay in Phuket or go to Hong Kong.
Long time reader, first time poster.
A few of us are heading to Phuket in a few days time. Arriving this Sunday night.
Seduction used to be the go to place but the last time we were there it had moved and the crowd was low class. Illuzion is massive and packed but hit and miss. White room is hit and miss as well.
Are there any new clubs/bars which have come on to the scene lately?
Has seduction picked up again?
or anything worth going to outside of bangla road like other clubs, bars or beach clubs?
Does anyone have recent intel on this? (things always seem to change so fast in bangla road from one year to the next)
Our trip will also take us to Surat Thani and Bangkok afterwards so i'll report back as well.
A few of us are heading to Phuket in a few days time. Arriving this Sunday night.
Seduction used to be the go to place but the last time we were there it had moved and the crowd was low class. Illuzion is massive and packed but hit and miss. White room is hit and miss as well.
Are there any new clubs/bars which have come on to the scene lately?
Has seduction picked up again?
or anything worth going to outside of bangla road like other clubs, bars or beach clubs?
Does anyone have recent intel on this? (things always seem to change so fast in bangla road from one year to the next)
Our trip will also take us to Surat Thani and Bangkok afterwards so i'll report back as well.
I'm currently in Northern Thailand. Making a first-time visit to Phuket next month. I'm trying to decide whether to take one of my Thai girls or find a girl after I arrive. For those who have been.....thoughts?
If it were me I'd bring a girl and then stay at one of the nicer beach towns, head over to Patong one night to check it out but the fact that you're even asking that question in the first place makes me think you'll have a much better bringing a girl than dealing with pros and Patong nightlife. This is what I was planning to do last time I was out in Asia with a girl I'd met in Bangkok on a previous trip, that ended up falling through because she couldn't get the days off work so she flew up to HK to meet me a few days later (and I ended up skipping Phuket altogether) but I'm 100% convinced it was the right way to go.
I got my Magnum condoms, I got my wad of hundreds, I'm ready to plow!
If you got a decent girl, skip Patong and see some of the other gems of Thailand.
Patong (Phuket's playground) is just a hedonistic party zone, not somewhere you would take a woman, unless she likes to party.
You are better off hitting up the resorts, cultural places or natural beauty spots if you have BYO pussy.
Patong (Phuket's playground) is just a hedonistic party zone, not somewhere you would take a woman, unless she likes to party.
You are better off hitting up the resorts, cultural places or natural beauty spots if you have BYO pussy.
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