[rozayINTL]

This is about being able to judge or qualify if a girl, relatively speaking... has good character. If she is a decent human being. Obviously what defines a good/decent person is different for everyone. But I hope that the insight had by you expert players out there can help me figure this one out.
And keep this separate from the fact that most women have a deep-seeded inner whore. Sex really isn't the issue (although if you can figure out that she is a filthy manipulative slut, that doesn't hurt).
Also keep in mind that you don't want to make things obvious. You can't just blatantly ask if she is a superficial bitch (well you can, but you won't get an honest answer. I've done that before - stupid I know).


To frame this situation, say you've recently met the girl, whether you've already banged or not is really irrelevant.. but say it's early on.

What are the questions, points, conversations in general, that you can have to truly discover whether or not she is a judgmental, superficial, SPOILED bitch. ....or a kind, sweet-hearted, loving person.


And no, this is not associated with having a LTR. It's something that I simply like to know.

[oldnemesis]

This is problematic because "decent character" means different things to different people. For example, her being able to live independently making decent income is important to me to consider the relationship, while for a lot of guys here it seems to be not a concern at all. At the same time, a lot of guys here are concerned about how many sex partners she had before him, or whether she gonna cheat on him - and this is something I don't give shit about.

So the solution would be to make your own list. Keep it short, and keep it realistic. I've seen a fair share of dudes who wanted to meet an attractive, social girl to marry her and make her a stay-at-home wife. Or dudes who wanted to meet a girl with very few sex partners (preferably a virgin) who'd be a good lay. Neither of those things are realistic.

[rozayINTL]

I want to state more clearly that this isn't supposed to be a consensus discussion on what makes a girl a decent person. I know we all have different opinions as to what constitutes that, in fact that's why I posed this question in the first place. I want to see what all you expert players (who might consider this kind of thing on a rare occasion) do about it. Especially if you're trying to be discrete. If you want to give your 2 cents as to what makes a girl a good person, go for it.. but this is about strategy.

Agreed about not giving a shit over how many guys a girl has slept with, that's no issue.

Great advice about making the list. And nah man, I don't want a stay at home wife. I just want to be able to tell if the girl has some sort of moral fiber, some sort of class, the ability to think for herself and treat others with respect.

[Basil Ransom]

Integrity: Does she show up when she says she will? Does she return calls promptly?

Heart: Does she visibly enjoy and appreciate my company? Or does she just like the sex? I've noticed recently if a girl doesn't like me on some level, I lose interest after a few bangs.

Provided she's attractive, these two qualities put her way above the competition.

[Magnum]

I think the best way is to casually mention things that have been in the news or your own experiences and see how she replies.If you mention something that so and so celebrity was caught cheating and now the girl wants to take him for everything he's worth you can learn alot about her attitude by listening to her answer.If something like that makes her aggressive and she wants the girl to ruin the guys life you know you have a total bitch on your hands.

Alsooes she have friends going back to childhood?
Has she ever volunteered her time for anybody?
If her friend has a problem is she sympathetic?
Does she backstab her friends or is she forgiving of their faults?
Healthy relationship with family ect.

lots more to look for but you get the idea..

[satanova77]

Mostly if i have to make that judgement ...i would look at the way she conducts herself in public and with me..

1. Behavior with waiters and help staff. Some bitches are downright mean to the waiter/waitress and look at the bus boys as if they have small pox.
2. Showing up on time and regular non flaky behaviour.
3. Thanking you for good time if she was bore and you kept the energy going. Specially thanking if you paid for food/drinks.
4. Level of backstabbing she does against her co workers and her own friends....

Its hard to tell though...if she has game she will make everything perfect and it will all be an act....i am sure there is good women out there but i now assume they are bad manipulative ppl till proven otherwise...

been burnt too many times...sometimes twice from same burner...

[Gmac]

I skipped through most of the comments.

Watch how she treats you and (more importantly) other people. Is she courteous to strangers and wait staff?

Magnum has some good ones as well.

[rozayINTL]

Genius. Thanks guys this is great shit.

[rozayINTL]

Satanova, that's my fear too. And yeah I fucking feel you on that. Gmac, that's what it's all about. I wonder more about "specific questions" that you can ask though. I guess that's unrealistic though. Ask her if she volunteers at an animal shelter? I mean that could work.. but yeah, probably not

[Vitriol]

I'm curious to know if any of you guys have actually found women that have most of the qualities that are being listed. Granted I have a bad sample to base my opinion on because I'm in the U.S., but it seems like "women of good character" would be something like 0.1% of all women. I'm really cynical, but looking for them might be a losing battle.

Even girls I knew through things like work or school that seemed decent exhibited tons of negative qualities once you were around them for awhile and got past the surface.

[Gmac]

(09-13-2011 08:11 PM)rozayINTL Wrote:  

Satanova, that's my fear too. And yeah I fucking feel you on that. Gmac, that's what it's all about. I wonder more about "specific questions" that you can ask though. I guess that's unrealistic though. Ask her if she volunteers at an animal shelter? I mean that could work.. but yeah, probably not

Women lie, A LOT.

You should judge her character based on her actions, not her words. Though not always possible, if you can catch her when she thinks she's not being watched, that's when women reveal their true selves. It's not usually pretty.

[rozayINTL]

Good point. Thanks man

[scorpio]

I figured out the reason girls always try to catch men in lies is because they do it so damn often themselves. If you lie to her early on, you're out. But that mouth of hers is spewing shit all day long.

Why do they lie? Because they want others to look upon them favorably. They lie to you if they hate you. They lie to you if they like you... to get them you to like them. Never believe what they say.

Last spring, I was chatting up this girl. She was talking smack about studying pre-med and volunteering at an animal shelter. Humanitarian achiever, right? Over the next couple of months, bitch ended dropping out of her science classes and stabbing a few rhetorical knives in my back.

[Caligula]

I'm interested to see what iknowexactly has to say on this.

I like Magnum's approach; bringing up celebrity gossip where cheating or whatever happened can be a great way to feel her out on where she stands. As Gmac mentioned, women lie and so don't put too much weight in what she says but rather learn to read her emotional responses. I've been reading Unmasking the Face and so far it looks like a must-read for any player. The skills it teaches can improve every stage of your game - http://www.amazon.com/Unmasking-Face-Rec...1883536367

Personally I look for empathy. It's a great predictor of how attuned she will be to my needs, wants and likes. Being able to strongly understand and empathise with others' needs and emotions makes a girl more considerate and less likely to hurt you. Empathy is one of the most important feminine personality traits.

My best LTRs anticipated when I was hungry, knew what I liked and prepared me foods and snacks. They enjoyed doing so. It wasn't a chore, they took pleasure in it. They gave me presents because they shared in my joy at receiving them. This is rooted in empathy.

How do you spot girls with strong empathy?

Does she feel genuinely sorry for the less fortunate? Does she flinch when you're watching a film and some poor guy gets his brains blown out? Is she kind to people who are below her in the social pecking order? Is she nice to animals? (Not always solid, some of the most solipsistic bitches I've known fawned over and loved dogs). Is she disparaging about her friends' problems? Does she gossip about her friends in a negative way a lot? Does she want to help her friends who have problems or does she take pleasure in their misery?

How does she treat her family? How does she talk about her family? Is she understanding of their problems or is she self centered when talking about her interactions with them?

[SVK]

(09-13-2011 08:12 PM)Vitriol Wrote:  

I'm curious to know if any of you guys have actually found women that have most of the qualities that are being listed. Granted I have a bad sample to base my opinion on because I'm in the U.S., but it seems like "women of good character" would be something like 0.1% of all women. I'm really cynical, but looking for them might be a losing battle.

Even girls I knew through things like work or school that seemed decent exhibited tons of negative qualities once you were around them for awhile and got past the surface.

I live in the US and am currently dating a girl like this. Very sweet girl, strong character, Romanian born (immigrated when she was 15), parents still together and going strong after 30 or so years, very good relationship with the family, etc. Has most if not all the qualities listed above. Had only a few relationships in her life, all long term and all positive experiences (although some of her exes were quite beta and she didn't treat them as well as she treats me, but still good). She is very cute, sex is on tap, literally whenever I want. Maybe not as kinky as I would like, but she is trying. She cooks for me, cleans my house, etc.

But, I'm kind of getting bored of being in a LTR. It has been 8 months (!), I'm simply getting tired of banging the same pussy all the time. She is quite jealous and demanding of my time, pushing her LTR agenda firmly towards marriage (which is def not what I want at this time). I was thinking of breaking this off, but again she is a great girls and there are not many like that in this country. Also I wouldn't like to hurt a girl that has been treating so well. What I would really like to do is to relax the relationship and get some more freedom (and strange pussy), but I'm afraid that is not possible...

[jariel]

SVK - Roissy had a great post back in the day about letting good girls go.

[Neo]

What's her upbringing like?

Does she have any addictions/dependencies?

Is she nice and respectful to the people around her?

Does she have a big heart or is she cold hearted and selfish?

Has she had long term friendships?

I obviously don't ask her any of these questions directly, but I just observe her and I'll get the answers I need.

[afronoob]

(09-13-2011 06:56 PM)rozayINTL Wrote:  

This is about being able to judge or qualify if a girl, relatively speaking... has good character. If she is a decent human being. Obviously what defines a good/decent person is different for everyone. But I hope that the insight had by you expert players out there can help me figure this one out.
And keep this separate from the fact that most women have a deep-seeded inner whore. Sex really isn't the issue (although if you can figure out that she is a filthy manipulative slut, that doesn't hurt).
Also keep in mind that you don't want to make things obvious. You can't just blatantly ask if she is a superficial bitch (well you can, but you won't get an honest answer. I've done that before - stupid I know).


To frame this situation, say you've recently met the girl, whether you've already banged or not is really irrelevant.. but say it's early on.

What are the questions, points, conversations in general, that you can have to truly discover whether or not she is a judgmental, superficial, SPOILED bitch. ....or a kind, sweet-hearted, loving person.


And no, this is not associated with having a LTR. It's something that I simply like to know.

The simplest indicator is also the most reliable: does she have interests beyond herself . It could be politics,pets,sports,books or a hobby. Forget the fashionista or hot button political fads eg,homo rights or spotted owl conservation.
At the same time watch for signs of neurotic attachment to issues.

[Gunner]

(09-13-2011 11:36 PM)jariel Wrote:  

SVK - Roissy had a great post back in the day about letting good girls go.

Do you remember the name of the post by any chance?

[Basil Ransom]

(09-15-2011 04:19 AM)afronoob Wrote:  

The simplest indicator is also the most reliable: does she have interests beyond herself . It could be politics,pets,sports,books or a hobby. Forget the fashionista or hot button political fads eg,homo rights or spotted owl conservation.
At the same time watch for signs of neurotic attachment to issues.

IMO, having interests is pretty irrelevant. Unless it involves volunteering of some sort, it doesn't mean she isn't a bitch.

Does she treat those beneath her with respect? Does she have more regard for a homeless man than a cute puppy?

I used to work in a big liquor store, and plenty of women would treat me like a servant - usually girls in their mid 20s and up. Just as their looks start fading, they start cranking the bitchiness up. It was obvious that, despite me being tall, well spoken, in shape and attractive, they thought I was worthless for working a crappy job, that I no longer deserved to be treated with respect. They also felt entitled to me carrying out their purchases without tipping. Guys mostly just wanted to know where stuff was, and find it themselves.

I find most girls to be status whores, and they are content to utterly disrespect someone they see as inferior.

[Jarocho2003]

Why you care if she's a good girl or not? I mean are you going int for a LTR? If yes, then figure it out yourself by making observations about her (some have given you ideas already).

You can set up scenario like questions to see what type of answers she gives you but you have to do it smoothly so her lying habits don't get on the way....

[Gmac]

(09-15-2011 03:08 PM)Jarocho2003 Wrote:  

Why you care if she's a good girl or not? I mean are you going int for a LTR? If yes, then figure it out yourself by making observations about her (some have given you ideas already).

You can set up scenario like questions to see what type of answers she gives you but you have to do it smoothly so her lying habits don't get on the way....

Because not everyone wants to treat ALL women like shit?

[rozayINTL]

Jarocho,
because I like good girls more than your average materialistic slut. I guess that's just a personal preference.

Hooking up with them, chilling with them. Whatever. They are also generally more intelligent which plays a role.

It's not all or nothing man. It's not like you have to pick between one night stands or long term relationships. There's a middle ground.

[Chad Daring]

Assume she's the worst.

Treat her neutrally, dont be a dick, dont be a nice guy, just be.

Adjust your treatment based on how she acts.

[iknowexactly]

(09-13-2011 08:59 PM)SVK Wrote:  

I live in the US and am currently dating a girl like this. Very sweet girl, ...

But, I'm kind of getting bored of being in a LTR. It has been 8 months (!), I'm simply getting tired of banging the same pussy all the time.

The only thing I advocate is don't use up all her childbearing years tooling her.

It's pretty sad when you break up with a 34 year old and she realizes she's never going to have kids because you led her on for four years while she hoped you were serious about her.

Ask me how I know.