To comment further on StrikeBack's OP; I think this anecdote is noteworthy regardless of where you're at in the game and what your intentions for it are. Sure it's easy to eschew the idea of marriage/settling down, especially if you've swallowed the SJW Kool-Aid and are of a background that is most susceptible to it (middle class and upwards — the working classes are still marrying and having kids; these strata is lauded in the manosphere for being more Red pill), and where it's derided in much of popular culture; in
Paper Towns, the female lead scorns the male protagonist's expressing an ultimate goal of settling down with a family by 30 ("
Really? Is that
all you wanna do with life?").
I admit to having been influenced by that bandwagon, but to be fair, it's easy to do so when one has been torn between wanting to sleep with as many attractive girls he sets eyes on, and wanting a settle for a LTR. I make no apologies for leaning heavily towards the former, but my belief is: what will be, will be.
Especially because heaps of peer pressure is thrown around to feel like your notch count in inadequate. My turning 28 in a few weeks makes the pinch felt even more.
Quote: (08-09-2016 02:15 AM)StrikeBack Wrote:
I know a lot of the tall buff athletic Aussie guys through sports and gym. A lot of them are only alpha on paper, and while they are not going to struggle with women, many are really beta at heart and cannot lead to save their lives. You'll find lots of them with controlling or even obese girlfriends. Anonymous Bosch would have plenty of examples from his mates, I remember reading.
Yeah I've read about the paper alpha idea elsewhere on RVF. Yes it does seem to spike the male competition, not to mention drive a penis rat race, but a lot of them won't be able to identify with the manly values I posted above. It was something that rang a bell to me, having started Army officer training. I remember reading this from a letter Erwin Rommel wrote to his son:
Quote:Quote:
Be an example to your men in your duty and in private life. Never spare yourself, and let the troops see that you don't in your endurance of fatigue and privation. Always be tactful and well-mannered, and teach your subordinates to be the same. Avoid excessive sharpness or harshness of voice, which usually indicates the man who has shortcomings of his own to hide.
So much of battlefield leadership is equally applicable to the LTR.
Vincit qui se vincit.
Having worked in supermarkets once upon a time, you hear this "she who must be obeyed"/"the boss" reference way too often. I'll never forget my senior lecturer saying at enrollment day: "We'll have to wrap this up soon; my wife will crucify me if I'm not back by 7."
I'm not sure if it's a SJW thing though. The "wife wearing the pants in the marriage" trope must've been around for decades, going by the ages of the guys who voice these sentiments. I've read it in Asterix comics from the '60s!
Quote: (08-08-2016 04:40 AM)StrikeBack Wrote:
Most of her flaws are that of a very sheltered and naive young girl who just moved from a small town to a big city. If you've ever watched old school movies where there's a pretty feminine girl doing silly things and saying dumb hilarious stuff from time to time, that's kinda her. She can't drive, can't read maps, hilariously misuses big words, is generally very trusting of people including mobile phone sales staff (!), doesn't understand big city women's cattyness and gets upset easily when those bitches are mean to her, etc.
[...]
This requires me to basically have a full time job teaching her everything: some household skills (which I've outsourced half to my mother to teach e.g cooking), personal finance, learning methods, physical training skills, nutrition knowledge, and social skills to navigate this tricky world - basically selected Red Pill game techniques for women. I teach her those skills and lead her emotionally every day, and this is on top of my very intellectually demanding job and two competitive sports in boxing and powerlifting (by the way, she's very respectful of my male space and time with male friends).
That's what it takes even if you have yourself a rare girl like her. You will need to do a lot of work to mold her into the woman you want for a wife and mother of your children. I happen to love it - it is like putting all of my favourite Game lessons into practice - but many guys here may not be ready to put in that kind of work.
I remember my Dad actually commending me and my brother to do exactly that; to find a girl that was "raw" (my words) and building her up. That is, someone who was still a bit ignorant or green to the ways of the big, bad world, rather than being one already headstrong and independent in her own values and strengths. From what I gathered of his rationale, the purpose of this was both in parts your execution of your duties as your partner's man, but also to mould her in your image (not literally, but the image of your ideal partner).
I may have taken objection, silently, not out of some pro-leftist zeal, but because my preferred partner (as a benchmark criteria) is university-educated, or at least engaged in some form of "in" pursuit — athletes, models, actresses, creative types.
Maybe this flies against
the manosphere idea that women are inherently unintelligent/unoriginal/uninteresting.
Then again, my Dad has a lot of Red pill beliefs. He has praised the practice of Japanese women walking 3 steps behind their husbands (I don't even think they do that, but certain Muslim cultures?), in very disdainful of SJWs, and isn't supportive of my little sister lifting.
On the other hand, I've toyed with some RP ideas as well, even before discovering RVF. I'd thought that my eventual wife would ideally be a Christian, or at least raised at one (despite my being an atheist), and engaged in a feminine profession - nursing, teaching, fashion design.
Quote: (08-09-2016 04:14 AM)Easy_C Wrote:
Quote: (08-09-2016 12:28 AM)JWLZG Wrote:
Insofar as these values are generally new to be as what we don't wax awe in Australian popular culture. It strikes a chord with me as I've been rejected twice majorly for what I believe to be lacking in manly traits (expressing arachnophobia, being violently ill over the space of a week
Buy a tarantula. A Chilean Rose specifically since they are not aggressive. I am dead serious. Get one, keep it in a container and don't interact without aside from throwing food in every so often.
After you observe how it behaves a lot of the mystique will fall off them and spiders become somewhat mundane.
That's a slightly less extreme remedy than what an old school friend went through: jungle warfare training in the Army at Canungra (in Far North Queensland). He said that after 2 weeks, you got so used to giant Goliath bird-eating spiders dropping on you that it was just routine to pluck them off your helmet and toss them away. Not before he saw his Corporal drop his rifle and run away screaming from one.
Quote: (08-09-2016 04:14 AM)Easy_C Wrote:
Quote:Quote:
Which means that 99% of the milliards of decent men working stable, middle-class jobs who catch up with the boys at the sports pub on Friday, and don't just sit on their arse collecting the dole, wouldn't even make the cut. My take is that because she's aware of her value, and that she's not like any other girl (certainly not Aussie ones), she understands that it's her prerogative to not give herself to just any guy, that her companionship and body is a prize to be valued, and that she's responsible to herself for selecting the very best.
Correct but to be fair the average has fallen pretty far.
From what I have seen most of the "parent approved" kinds of guys(steady jobs, goes to church, respectful, etc) are extremely boring. They generally behave and act like Mormon missionaries....it is a degree of female pedestaling, fear of judgement, that risk aversion that will turn just about any lady into the Sahara.
You need to be more than that. Learn how to integrate the best aspects those guys have to offer (respectability, spirituality, politeness) while embracing the aggressive and adventurous aspects of the bad boy personality.
If you want one there are two main challenges: You need to find that kind of girl which is not easy because they don't go out much. Second you need to be the kind of guy that can both give her tingles and be around her family.
Sounds easy but it is surprisingly rare in practice. Most true "good girls" are incredibly thirsty for guys like that.
Sure. You see stacks of smokeshows dating "average"- or "everyday"-looking dudes out and about. My housemate is a barber and is dating a model. But I don't want to be liked for being average, partly because that's not in my psyche. Maybe I'm a bit of a narcissist, and more seriously, because I come from a culture and social class where you're pushed to be, and to think of yourself as special, better than everyone else, and to frown upon weakness and privation. Not just in terms of height and physical attractiveness; though I've attracted professional models during daygame and social circle, so I can't be lacking in the looks department. My life shows that — I've travelled extensively, hitchhiked; studied abroad in Europe; learnt guitar in South America; volunteering in Nepal and trekking the Himalayas; sailing across the Atlantic. I've DJed, taught skiing, and won awards for basketball and sailing; and generally jump into endeavours outside my comfort zone. I can move rather seamlessly between hipster and athletic social milieux.
I can even be outwardly cocksure of that, and my sister is at the same time critical and proud of my self-belief ("It's good that you're confident in yourself JWLZG, but you need to put that all into perspective.")
Given my CV, I mightn't need to validate the idea that I'm interesting — and not in a fraudulent Baron Münchhausen/NASA Test Pilot way
— as much as exuding that in person; let alone a Tinder profile, and reconciling those qualities with my wanting the best in a girl (and maybe my standards are lofty).
Quote: (08-09-2016 02:15 AM)StrikeBack Wrote:
While I don't have the values to get lots of initial attraction as they can, I always know that I will be stronger within a relationship context than they are. You gotta know and be confident in your own strengths, and don't get obsessed with what you don't have. If I were to get stuck with the height thing for example, I'd never be able to get this woman. Not only she's taller than me (you've met me, I'm a short guy), her dad and brother tower over me, I'm not sure if I even come up to their shoulders. She is used to being around very tall men.
And I won't lie; I think some of these limiting beliefs still hang above me to this day, when I'd thought I'd qualms relating to height and race shelved away. I've bartended at venues that draw in tall, huge meatheads and willowy model types. Standing at 181 cm (me) can be squarely below average on an all right night. I can see why one can feel out of his depth at times in terms of self worth. And with mindsets like this, sure, even bartenders can cop rejections, or not be motivated to close.
I hope I'm not turning this thread towards myself — I guess its content is a reflection of where Game might take me in half a decade or so.
Quote: (08-09-2016 02:15 AM)StrikeBack Wrote:
While you're searching for those answers, keep in mind that you are also very young. When I was your age, I had plenty of doubts and couldn't exactly control my emotions very well. I have been through similar things that you experienced. To develop into a masculine man, you must not fear failures and rejections but even welcome them as trials so you can grow. When I hit around 29-30, something snapped one night out and I suddenly stopped giving a shit about things and people that do not matter, and gain full control over my emotions. That was when I started to really become a masculine man. It will take time.
There's really more to game than the 'toolbox' of attracting and closing a girl. I've gone through times when I've studied it to the neglect of everything else in life. Your reply shows that there's really a holistic concept to it, including inner game. I'm still trying to find the sweet spot (vis-à-vis the other areas of life). My sense of urgency is more regarding how it's been a journey that's taken years (see my first paragraph) coupled with my noticing lately that many of the best girls get snapped up young.