[Tengen]

(10-12-2014 11:48 AM)Giovonny Wrote:  

Last night I had a date with a beautiful Asian girl. We met at the park to walk her dog.

After an hour or so I invited her back to my place for dinner.

I had a large pot of soup that I just made.

We enjoyed the soup together and we really bonded over the experience of eating together.

We formed a bond and connection over the soup.

Not giving her some soup would have been a mistake.

My soup helped me create an emotional bond with her.

Food is a powerful tool, we just have to know when to use it and when not too.

If you didn't get some loving after all that...

[kaotic]

(10-13-2014 06:28 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  

^ So you've backpedaled two times.

Why are you on this thread?

Because I see both sides to the argument, I'm telling you what's worked for me, I'm not back peddling.

I leaned towards no appetizers on the first few pages, but a few recent dates raised my eyebrows on this.

I just get it, both sides can be put to good use, I don't think anyone should be entrenched on either side, this thread is a great situation awareness tool to use.

[RUIN]

(10-14-2014 12:34 AM)kaotic Wrote:  

(10-13-2014 06:28 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  

^ So you've backpedaled two times.

Why are you on this thread?

Because I see both sides to the argument, I'm telling you what's worked for me, I'm not back peddling.

I leaned towards no appetizers on the first few pages, but a few recent dates raised my eyebrows on this.

I just get it, both sides can be put to good use, I don't think anyone should be entrenched on either side, this thread is a great situation awareness tool to use.

but it depends on the attitude of the woman. financial restrictions aside if I have a snarky female one "strike" away from having her openly try to belittle me im not going to sit there and buy her food or even endure her presence. take the other side of the coin where you have a genuinely sweet girl who is just coming for drinks ill use food to add another facet to the interaction and build the interest level because hey; I enjoy her company as much as I want to enjoy her body.

[Oswaldo Guimaraens]

(10-06-2014 01:13 PM)MrXY Wrote:  

Oh, good lord, you "anti food" ideologues are really overstating the case here, with all this "muh frame!" and high minded "principal of the thing" talk.

The idea that a girl isn't going to respect you or bang you quickly because you bought her a little food is just ludicrous and doesn't fit with my experience at all.

If a fucking $10 sushi roll obliterates your game, you need to step up your game.

Agreed. I think that some members here are reading too much into this. Supplicating yourself? Losing your frame? Taking advantage of you? A red flag? A woman who orders an appetizer must be a greasy-fingered, mouth-agape fattie? (If she was a fattie, you wouldn't be there to begin with.)

It's just a snack. People need to eat. It's trivial. Ten bucks, who cares.

In fact, eating together on a first date can build intimacy. Identifying a shared preference. Pulling up your chair next to her to share. Eating from the same plate. Feeding each other playfully. If you think of an intimacy scale from zero to ten, then sharing food can move you from zero to one, before you have the opportunity to escalate further. This has worked for me.

[OregonToSoCal]

I had a drink date with a woman from POF Sunday afternoon. We met at an upscale Mexican bar/restaurant and sat on the patio. The server brought over some chips and salsa and took our drink orders and the girl asks me "Do you care if I get a guacamole?" Thinking she's just asking for guac dip I look at her like "why are you asking me this?" and nod OK. A little while later this plate arrives with a scoop of guac on it and a bunch of other shit stuck in it in an attempt to make a sophisticated artsy dish. The bill comes and the APPETIZER was $12.

Beware gents of stealth appetizer moves!

[el mechanico]

^ you're good! What's your timeline as a member looking like for you?

Pm me for the under over

[worldwidetraveler]

(10-13-2014 06:38 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  

(10-13-2014 10:47 AM)Brian Shima Wrote:  

Touche El Mechanico haha! Go ahead and eat your chili cheese fries while I plan out my method to get you back in my bed

I really needed that boost today but I'm straight.

Look at you, holding out for some buffalo wings you gold digger.

[Duke Castile]

Ok so now that we've drawn the lines on when letting her order food is a shit test through and through.

Where does team no appetizer stand on going to happy hour? I think its implied you'll get some apps if you invite her to there.

I think it would probably be best to take girls there also after the bang for other maintenance dates but I have also brought 1st dates there as the prices hedge the same.

I think the real skill is recognizing when its a shit test.

When its on your terms there is no room for shit tests.

[OregonToSoCal]

I think for happy hour the rules are a little different. Since it's usually around dinner time I personally will suggest getting a plate of sliders or chicken strips to share. The issue of eating has been addressed and the cost is much lower. I think of it as a dinner hack, so to speak. All the perks of feeding her a meal but pennies on the dollar.

[Sturmgeist]

(10-15-2014 03:14 AM)OregonToSoCal Wrote:  

I think for happy hour the rules are a little different. Since it's usually around dinner time I personally will suggest getting a plate of sliders or chicken strips to share. The issue of eating has been addressed and the cost is much lower. I think of it as a dinner hack, so to speak. All the perks of feeding her a meal but pennies on the dollar.

I am on Team NO Appetizers, however, happy hour rules may change things in my view.

You bring a valid point.

[zombiejimmorrison]

I don't get how it works in America but here in Australia if I'm taking a girl out for drinks we split the bill, I shout her once for drinks and she shouts me once for drinks. I don't see why a man would pay for a first date unless it was cut short like 1h. AND I specify too that this drink is on me and the other drink is on her. It's 2014 I've never had any girl disagree, if she did, I'd just tell her some bullshit about equality and feminism. \nLonger dates are the same specify that its your shout and her shout. The whole appetizer thing is bullshit, I'd never pay for a girls appetizer she's the one eating on a drink date.

[The Wire]

I think I fucking jinxed myself with this thread. This girl i've been trying to meet up with is playing hardball and keeps throwing out 530pm meet up times. I'll jerk off before I'll buy this girl dinner.



#teamNOappertizers

[The Wire]

^^^I just texted the same girl that I can't do 5:30pm because of a work dinner. I then asked her if we could do 7:30pm instead for drinks. She then replied 'idk if I can do that late'.





#teamNOappertizers

[getdownonit]

(10-21-2014 08:01 PM)The Wire Wrote:  

^^^I just texted the same girl that I can't do 5:30pm because of a work dinner. I then asked her if we could do 7:30pm instead for drinks. She then replied 'idk if I can do that late'.

#teamNOappertizers

Gold digger.

You should meet up with her at 530 at a no-food locale having already eaten.

[Brodiaga]

(10-21-2014 08:01 PM)The Wire Wrote:  

^^^I just texted the same girl that I can't do 5:30pm because of a work dinner. I then asked her if we could do 7:30pm instead for drinks. She then replied 'idk if I can do that late'.





#teamNOappertizers

Meet up with her, but don't take her to a bar. Walk around with her a little bit, then walk back to your house. Say you are tired and offer to hang out at your place. If she comes, bang her, if not, whatever.

[Tuthmosis]

(10-21-2014 08:01 PM)The Wire Wrote:  

^^^I just texted the same girl that I can't do 5:30pm because of a work dinner. I then asked her if we could do 7:30pm instead for drinks. She then replied 'idk if I can do that late'.

That sounds like a classic dinner-escalation move. It's the equivalent of us asking if we can use their bathroom while standing outside of their house. Most guys would cave.

If it were me, I'd show up to the date as I was finishing off a burrito in a wrapper and invite her to dessert drinks. If she refused to drink, I'd take her to frozen yogurt. Bitch, I got a ten-dollar bill in my pocket with your name it, spend it wisely.

But if 7:30 is "too late" for a girl, there's no way you're banging her. She wants dinner and to hug you good night, maybe multiple times, before telling you she "didn't feel the spark." Remember: a difficult woman will remain difficult.

[The Wire]

(10-22-2014 11:09 AM)Tuthmosis Wrote:  

(10-21-2014 08:01 PM)The Wire Wrote:  

^^^I just texted the same girl that I can't do 5:30pm because of a work dinner. I then asked her if we could do 7:30pm instead for drinks. She then replied 'idk if I can do that late'.

That sounds like a classic dinner-escalation move. It's the equivalent of us asking if we can use their bathroom while standing outside of their house. Most guys would cave.

If it were me, I'd show up to the date as I was finishing off a burrito in a wrapper and invite her to dessert drinks. If she refused to drink, I'd take her to frozen yogurt. Bitch, I got a ten-dollar bill in my pocket with your name it, spend it wisely.

But if 7:30 is "too late" for a girl, there's no way you're banging her. She wants dinner and to hug you good night, maybe multiple times, before telling you she "didn't feel the spark." Remember: a difficult woman will remain difficult.

That was my initial thought as well...how the fuck is 7:30pm late?

So she clarified with me that she gets up at 4:30am which I'm not sure if I buy it. She then wanted to meet up this Saturday at noon and I told her I'm meeting a friend then and I am probably heading over to a friend place at night. She then asked if I was seeing anyone which I told her no but I am "dating". She then said "Oh so you have a hook up buddy"...."I definitely want to meet up soon". Funny how that sparked her interest.

#teamNOappertizers

[kaotic]

(10-22-2014 04:42 PM)The Wire Wrote:  

(10-22-2014 11:09 AM)Tuthmosis Wrote:  

(10-21-2014 08:01 PM)The Wire Wrote:  

^^^I just texted the same girl that I can't do 5:30pm because of a work dinner. I then asked her if we could do 7:30pm instead for drinks. She then replied 'idk if I can do that late'.

That sounds like a classic dinner-escalation move. It's the equivalent of us asking if we can use their bathroom while standing outside of their house. Most guys would cave.

If it were me, I'd show up to the date as I was finishing off a burrito in a wrapper and invite her to dessert drinks. If she refused to drink, I'd take her to frozen yogurt. Bitch, I got a ten-dollar bill in my pocket with your name it, spend it wisely.

But if 7:30 is "too late" for a girl, there's no way you're banging her. She wants dinner and to hug you good night, maybe multiple times, before telling you she "didn't feel the spark." Remember: a difficult woman will remain difficult.

That was my initial thought as well...how the fuck is 7:30pm late?

So she clarified with me that she gets up at 4:30am which I'm not sure if I buy it. She then wanted to meet up this Saturday at noon and I told her I'm meeting a friend then and I am probably heading over to a friend place at night. She then asked if I was seeing anyone which I told her no but I am "dating". She then said "Oh so you have a hook up buddy"...."I definitely want to meet up soon". Funny how that sparked her interest.

#teamNOappertizers

LMR for date meet up, no resistance when mentioning a fuck buddy. Logic.

[Virtus]

(10-06-2014 05:02 AM)Benoit Wrote:  

This is not about being cheap, it's about not letting a woman take control of the plans.

That is pretty much the heart of it all.

there isn't a faster way to kill attraction than letting the girl run all over the place. literally and figuratively.

I recommend a good book By Frank B. Kermit that zeroes in on this concept.

"I'm a Man. That's my Job". you can find a pdf online

[Checkmat]

(10-15-2014 01:25 AM)Fisto Wrote:  

Ok so now that we've drawn the lines on when letting her order food is a shit test through and through.

Where does team no appetizer stand on going to happy hour? I think its implied you'll get some apps if you invite her to there.

I think it would probably be best to take girls there also after the bang for other maintenance dates but I have also brought 1st dates there as the prices hedge the same.

I think the real skill is recognizing when its a shit test.

When its on your terms there is no room for shit tests.

Schedule drink dates for 8pm++. Factoring in both my and her lateness, we don't have our first drinks until 8:30pm usually. Happy Hour is not a factor.

[el mechanico]

Who the dueces plans a first date at 5:30 anyway? I'm still having my after at work drinks with the guys at that time ..

[Basement Dweller]

I've field tested this extensively and found that 8:30pm was the sweet spot for drink dates.

It's too late for them to go without food, they are forced to eat at home and shower before the date. i.e. not coming straight from work all sweaty and stinky.

Also sets a time constraint on how long the date lasts as to not sit there for hours entertaining her.

[Native Baltimoron]

(10-23-2014 01:50 AM)Basement Dweller Wrote:  

I've field tested this extensively and found that 8:30pm was the sweet spot for drink dates.

It's too late for them to go without food, they are forced to eat at home and shower before the date. i.e. not coming straight from work all sweaty and stinky.

Also sets a time constraint on how long the date lasts as to not sit there for hours entertaining her.

8:00 to 8:30PM, definitely. I usually schedule for 8:00, and then show up around 8:15 or so. Nevertheless, I usually get there before my date.

If it was a happy hour, which I'd rather avoid for a first meetup, I could see getting an appetizer to split, something anodyne like chicken tenders.

[Saweeep]

I can't actually believe this thread is still going…around in circles.

[Virtus]

(10-23-2014 09:12 AM)CrashBangWallop Wrote:  

I can't actually believe this thread is still going…around in circles.

It's as if we're in a hamster wheel or on a carousel