[jariel]

I'm becoming a fan of the series theme, it's sort of something that just happened. I don't like topics that tend to begin with numbers, not that some of them aren't interesting nor add value, I just don't want to read like a Madame Noire hit-piece.

So for my first take of "Real Talk Sessions", I want to discuss a problem I know you're having. I have been a victim of it in a way as well, which I will gladly discuss in this post.

A lot of us have Tumblr, Instagram, Twitter, etc. for business and personal reasons. With the internet, we have access to seeing women who we would normally never see. There are chicks out here, known as "exoticals" by their haters, who are mixes of people who we would have never imagined being created.

Beautiful women are posting pictures of themselves on their respective social media accounts, every day, all day long.

You are looking at them.

You need to stop.

Before I continue, as I stated before, I have been caught up in this game in the past. There's a relatively famous latin urban model who I had the chance of meeting. I had been talking to her online for a minute since we had a mutual friend. I finally had the chance to meet her in person when she came down to Miami for a shoot, and let's just say, I bailed on the interaction after a short period of time.

Looks wise she was exactly what I expected, I mean her pics are everywhere so there wasn't much likelihood of being surprised and I figured with the vibe we had the chance to hook up was high, but in person her personality was just off-putting. It felt like I was talking to a completely different person.

What's happening in most situations is two-fold:

1. You'll never meet the chicks you're looking at.
2. They're nothing like how they present themselves to be.

Women use social media to advertise themselves as products in the way they want to be seen. Most are not advertising for you. They don't care that you would eat their assholes like push-up pops. They're mostly hoping to be seen by someone who can put them on in a certain way. In other words, someone who can get them some kind of work or someone they can get with in some way that will be beneficial to them. They also make it a point to show the best parts of themselves and their lives. You get the sense that their life is just better than the average person's. They're exposed to all kinds of material things and they always look "perfect".

At some point it raises questions.

No chick is in full makeup with her best outfit on all the time, I don't care who she is. Also, she's not posting about her bouts with depression, drug and/or alcohol abuse, bastard children, etc. All that is kept secret to preserve the fantasy.

But the reality remains, most of these chicks are never-will-bes. There are a lot of beautiful women out there. Some of them may even be signed to someone, but they're not all working which means they're not all getting paid which means a lot of them are broke. Some of them have men in their lives who are nothing for you to be envious of. In fact, in most cases, you'll look at their situations and think, "Wow, that's the best she can do?"

It's a cold world for women, high-quality appearances don't mean you can lock down high-quality men.

So it's these chicks who you need to stop devoting real time to, and you know it's real time. You know you're spending a portion of your day looking at these chicks and marveling at them.

Stop.

There are girls in your world who you can actually get with. Any energy towards those you can't is a complete waste of your time. I would say it's worse than porn, since at least porn has an end game. But in this case, we're just talking about pictures of chicks who you'll never meet, thus, you'll never know what they're really like, and they'll never be able to do anything for you.

[apoclater]

Great post. I'd argue this could be extended to girls in your circle as well. They're all doing a version of this - posting their best moments and hiding their worst, always making it look like they're doing something larger than life while 90% of the time they're just shopping or watching Netflix.

[Travesty]

If you choose to put any effort into social media at all, flip the script and be curating social media profiles that sell the dream fantasy to women with you advertising a lifestyle they want to jump on.

[Lizard King]

(12-30-2014 08:53 PM)apoclater Wrote:  

Great post. I'd argue this could be extended to girls in your circle as well. They're all doing a version of this - posting their best moments and hiding their worst, always making it look like they're doing something larger than life while 90% of the time they're just shopping or watching Netflix.

I agree with that, and practice it myself. I don't watch those sexy young girls in tight tops playing guitars, don't watch porn, avoid social media like the plague. Any visual stimulation of desire is derived from actual women.

The internet is wonderful at harnessing male desire visually; women have always been adept at capturing that desire, and the internet makes it even easier for them to do. I believe it generates an unhealthy thirst, that inhibits a man from acting naturally(trying to get laid). When I see an attractive woman I want to talk to her, not become mesmerised by a fantasy in my mind.

To validate this, I have a friend who is single, uses online dating, frequently adds girls he meets online to his facebook, and routinely shows me their photos, which I admit to enjoying, but the thirst on his part is visible, and he never gets laid with any of these girls. I reminded him that none of the guys clicking like and leaving 'beautiful' comments would ever get intimate with the girl they were admiring. So at least he has stopped demeaning himself that way.

[PhilE]

Awesome POST!

I actually don't follow any chick on instagram that unless they meet the following:
I know her in real life
I worked with her, or will in the future.
She provides value by me seeing her social media (Rare, never happens)
I have a realistic chance of fucking her

If she doesn't meet one of them i dont follow her. In fact my cousin came home from Jail and doesn't want to set up an instagram, so he uses my account to see what people from my neighborhood is up to. But he occasionally follows one of these IG VIXENS. And I always have to unfollow them. He ask me one day, don't you want to at least look. I said a resounding NO...I dont window shop. I like I buy. Window shopping is for losers. If I don't have a shot at fucking what is the point of gawking?

We can't do anything about the tremendous thirst enabling power social media has created, but what we can do is control how we ourselves interact with it. Sometimes we can't beat the beast, but we must not let it degrade us in the fight.

And what I notice is that these women are really disrespectful. They purposely IGNORE comments made by their "male admirers" on these post and directly respond to other people, mainly other women. If I noticed that and was one of those "male admirers" i would take my compliment down IMMEDIATELY. Here is just an example.





we all know about the thirsty comments, but that can be a troll job by some men....to me whats more embarrassing is a women selectively deeming your comment "non response worthy" and fully displaying it by only responding to certain comments on her thread.

I actually started an instagram called ThirstiestNiggaInTheWorld, check out the picture I used as the profile:



I started it more than 2 years ago and when I first did It I was doing like OVER THE TOP thirsty commenting and when the girls realized I was a parody account they was deleting my post. I never got all the way into it the way I envisioned it in my head, I spent more time trying to get my business started than I planned. But I noticed this a LONG time ago that the amount of THIRST on social media is ungodly and as men of character we should NEVER partake in it unless it is beneficial to us.

[nek]

(12-30-2014 09:34 PM)PhilE Wrote:  

If I don't have a shot at fucking what is the point of gawking?

Why I'm against strip clubs for the most part.

[PhilE]

(12-30-2014 09:41 PM)nek Wrote:  

(12-30-2014 09:34 PM)PhilE Wrote:  

If I don't have a shot at fucking what is the point of gawking?

Why I'm against strip clubs for the most part.

I agree. I only go to strip clubs where I can fuck the dancers (not p4p but using game) I actually was called the "Stripper Whisperer" by my friends at one time because I fucked more strippers than anybody else. But I only go to "Hole in the wall" strip clubs, I rarely did it at the major ones.

[StrikeBack]

I agree with this. It's a waste of time. I don't do window shopping.

There's an Instagram babe in my social circle. She's less attractive in real life (skin is pretty bad without makeup, or close up with makeup on) although still a WB. From what I gather about her background, she doesn't come from money and hasn't got a serious paying job, so my bet is on her turning tricks to pay for all those extravagant clothes, luxurious lifestyles with regular stays living in Paris, NYC etc.

I've never 'liked' her Facebook page request.

[casio]

I told that to all my male friends some time ago: stop clicking like on every girls profile picture - it's embarrassing and gives them validation for nothingness.
Only like pictures when people are genuinely doing things you actually like or want to endorse.

[RealityCheck]

Oogling over pictures of girls that you're attracted to but have never banged, and never will bang, is just a toned down version of oogling over pictures of an ex that you can't get over. Why? Because you're dwelling on something that you want but can't have. And the funny thing is if you ever saw this chick in real life you'd likely get nervous and jittery, at least more so than you would have had you not spent hours staring at her pictures. I mean, after all, you've been putting her on a pedestal for God knows how long, meanwhile she probably doesn't even remember your name.

I'd rather "oogle" over girls at the bar, at least this way I can approach them and possibly bang them later on, and if not, then next them to the find someone else who is down. If a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, then how many hot girls on Facebook that you'll never bang are worth one chick at the bar who passes the boner test that is down to bang you right then?

[Distant Light]

Excellent Post!!!!!!!

Not sure if this is allowed but it's highly relevant, I made a post about something similar a few months back...

NOTE: Chick in the pics/comments is a friend of a friend (almost has 1 million followers)

News Flash: You Don't Even Know Her

This has always been one of my biggest pet peeves about men which is what makes me hate "chasing" even more. I don't have a "personal" instagram and absolutely HATE instagram. The whole culture with "social media" is fucking up real life social intelligence.

Those same hotties you're seeing on pic as you ASSUME all sorts of craziness is the same chicks I see in REAL LIFE...

Sitting down BORED, then they think "picture time!!" They take their pictures and go RIGHT BACK to their boredom state. This whole concept is what caused my female friends in my "personal" social circle to start KICKING CHICKS OFF THE TABLE. Every so often you hear me say "Team Well-Behaved" this is an insider joke with my female friends because if you sit and watch...

Tons of chicks show up to a table all sitting down in perfect formation like if it were a class picture. THIS used to piss me off which is why I used to show up all crazy snapping people out that state.

That said, I have major respect for my female friend who's a well known pornstar. People say some off the wall shit she calls them out and somtimes DE-FRIENDS them. It's funny to see her demeanor when "thirsty" guys are present in real life, it's like this vibe of "yea you jerk off to me" indifferent vibe. (One night she laughed because a guy came up to me very submissive and worship-like, she told me he thought I was a male pornstar because I was with her hahahahahahahahaah so she just started introducing me as such)

(12-30-2014 09:04 PM)Travesty444 Wrote:  

If you choose to put any effort into social media at all, flip the script and be curating social media profiles that sell the dream fantasy to women with you advertising a lifestyle they want to jump on.

It's ironic, since 2011 I've been archiving my life through making 2-3 videos a year. Turns out it's created the effect you mentioned, tons of chicks randomly message me wanting to hangout.

Also my COUSIN he's an upcoming rapper (PR manager and all), he banged a chick who does thoe icandy videos on worldstar.

(12-30-2014 09:41 PM)nek Wrote:  

(12-30-2014 09:34 PM)PhilE Wrote:  

If I don't have a shot at fucking what is the point of gawking?

Why I'm against strip clubs for the most part.

This is why I've only been to a stripclub...

2x in my life
- 1st time I was blackedout drunk with a mixed group right as it was closing (2 of our girls were in the bathroom fooling around)
- 2nd time I was with 4 girls, I realized THERE IS NO WAY I'd ever set foot in a stripclub as a single guy, I just didn't get the appeal of a strip club. (Much more fun with a bunch of girls just chilling)

P.S...In the past, 99% of the time I was having the most fun in a venue and that shocked me starting out. I've watched a gorgeous model literally sitting on the sofa indian style texting while someone like zedd or porter robinson was DJing. Like why even show up? (Wish I used to call out chicks like I do now)

P.S.S...I forsee a influx of strippers and escorts as the years go on for a number of reasons thanks to social media. (Would be way too long to get into so I'll leave it at that)

[Joga Bonito]

So you mean I gotta stop clicking into the Black Hotness thread now?



Good stuff Jariel.

[Tiguere]

(12-30-2014 06:58 PM)jariel Wrote:  

But the reality remains, most of these chicks are never-will-bes. There are a lot of beautiful women out there. Some of them may even be signed to someone, but they're not all working which means they're not all getting paid which means a lot of them are broke. Some of them have men in their lives who are nothing for you to be envious of. In fact, in most cases, you'll look at their situations and think, "Wow, that's the best she can do?"

It's a cold world for women, high-quality appearances don't mean you can lock down high-quality men.

This statement is absolute fact and almost never ceases to amaze me. We work hard to improve ourselves here on RVF, not just to meet women, but to improve in all facets of our lives.

However, every once in a while you see a dimepiece with a dweeb and your jaw drops. You begin to question how the world works and if all this shit about value and hustling to build your empire is bullshit.

Back in my younger days this would upset me, but now I just laugh. As much as we strive to understand women and how the world works, we will never understand everything. The bitch could just be a de facto retard with low self-esteem. Or she's simply with the dude who deflowered her still (quite common I've found). Who knows...

The most recent example of this happening was with a runway model I knew. Her boyfriend was a dork. I couldn't for the life of me figure out why she was into him, but they were happy and truly, that's all that matters.

[UroboricForms]

The last chick I got with had 10 thousand instagram followers. It was my first experience with a person like that. I have to say I agree firmly with the OP.

[ridiculous_nicholas]

I live in the midwest so my tinder matches are mediocre at best. My buddy in Hollywood cleans up on there. I look at the girls he matches with and one time I made a comment about how beautiful they are. He just said "dude none of these girls look that great in real life, they all post their very best pictures." So true.

Kind of a different subject but I often times will leave facebook for months at a time. Its not that I don't care what my friends are doing, or that I don't want to post links or information people would enjoy, but I honestly just don't give a fuck about what all of these girls are doing. 100x this if you like a girl or want a girl that things didn't work out with. Don't waste your effort following their every move, seeing what they are doing, and in some cases trying to read through the lines of what a picture of post means. As far as instagram goes, that place is a cess pool. I do follow all of my friends, and then found these brazilian accounts that post revealing pics of girls and their account names. I follow them, but its out of pure boredom. I don't sit there and contribute to the 300 likes. Funny thing is I met Felice Herrig (UFC fighter) last March. I have a buddy that fights for Bellator and she was at the after get together at the fighters' hotel. I started following her on instagram and it made me lose all hope for humanity. Granted she is an attention whore but man some of these guys that comment need to log off and hit the real world. Sell their affliction shirt collection while they are at it too.

[ridiculous_nicholas]

(12-31-2014 12:03 PM)MasculineProfiles Wrote:  

This statement is absolute fact and almost never ceases to amaze me. We work hard to improve ourselves here on RVF, not just to meet women, but to improve in all facets of our lives.

However, every once in a while you see a dimepiece with a dweeb and your jaw drops. You begin to question how the world works and if all this shit about value and hustling to build your empire is bullshit.

Back in my younger days this would upset me, but now I just laugh. As much as we strive to understand women and how the world works, we will never understand everything. The bitch could just be a de facto retard with low self-esteem. Or she's simply with the dude who deflowered her still (quite common I've found). Who knows...

The most recent example of this happening was with a runway model I knew. Her boyfriend was a dork. I couldn't for the life of me figure out why she was into him, but they were happy and truly, that's all that matters.

I'm no dweeb but back in college I was "with" this Ecuadorian girl that was about 2x out of my league. She wanted to date, I wanted to meet other girls, this went on for about 2 years. I'm sure people wondered why she was so obsessed with me. I still don't understand that to be honest, part of it was that I was her first but I wonder how I got that far to begin with, probably just because I didn't really care. But anyways I look back on that time, and think, what the fuck was I thinking?! That girl was so hot! Why didn't you marry her? Then I remembered all of the drama. The insecurities, the need to be center of attention, the guys that would all message her on myspace which she said he hated but secretly liked the attention. 8 years later she is still good looking, but put on 15 lbs, and constantly posting selfies and pics of shoes. Just not for me.

There are some really hot girls out there that are cool and down to earth, usually though its the ones who grew up poor or middle class. Like Lolo Jones. Funny though how these girls think they are just above everything. And the hottest ones hit the wall the hardest. Take a girl that's a 6.5-7 at 25 and look at her in 15 years. She will look a lot better than a girl who was a 10, mostly because she probably ages gracefully and isn't trying to hold onto the past.

[Ensam]

(12-31-2014 12:17 PM)UroboricForms Wrote:  

The last chick I got with had 10 thousand instagram followers. It was my first experience with a person like that. I have to say I agree firmly with the OP.

I got with a chick like this a while ago too. She was a solid 7 but all of her instragram pics made her look like a chick in the 10s thread. Met her at a bar only found out about her online game after we banged. The comments were thirsty as hell and the attention whoring was a huge turn off.

[AneroidOcean]

I understand where you're coming from Jariel. I really like the post "series" you've been doing. Thank you for the valuable contributions first. I have nothing much to add other than this:

I use my social media (one of those picture ones) as a way to view beautiful photography from around the world. Some of this includes chicks, mostly in bikinis, in beautiful locales. I think of this on a certain level as inspiration and I enjoy flipping through pictures when I feel like it, especially if my girl or other girls are around. My girl hasn't ever said anything significant (good girl) but I can tell she notices. I get comments semi-regularly from other girls around and I enjoy shutting them down or asking them if they're jealous. I usually don't add any of them that I don't have some connection to in some fashion, be it personal or interest-wise.

Now, this definitely doesn't dominate my social media, but it's there and obviously it's very noticeable when I do flip past one. If a girl I were dating were to ever seriously question what I've got on my social media (especially seeing as how it's balanced) it'd be a strong sign to next her. My girl asked about one girl I flipped past (who happens to have over a million users) and I said, "oh that's my old hairstylist" like it was no big deal (and actually it isn't really to me) and I could tell she knew she better keep herself up in order to keep me. It was a wonderful thing to witness.

[Old Fritz]

Glad I don't have an instagram or vine

[jariel]

(12-30-2014 09:41 PM)nek Wrote:  

(12-30-2014 09:34 PM)PhilE Wrote:  

If I don't have a shot at fucking what is the point of gawking?

Why I'm against strip clubs for the most part.

I'm going to go deep into the strip club game, stay tuned.

[RoastBeefCurtains4Me]

(12-30-2014 09:04 PM)Travesty444 Wrote:  

If you choose to put any effort into social media at all, flip the script and be curating social media profiles that sell the dream fantasy to women with you advertising a lifestyle they want to jump on.

I agree with this. We all understand the value of fame game. I'm becoming convinced that with the rise of social media, it is possible for a person to achieve niche fame. If you have twitter, instagram, a blog, etc., associate yourself with some cause, band, or activity, create some kind of leadership status in that activity, and then create a sustained online presence and attract followers, you can achieve a level of social media fame.

All fame is based on media. When movies, TV, and color magazines came along in the 20th century, a new form of fame was possible, in ways that went beyond the fame of the 19th century and earlier. Likewise, social media allows a new form of fame. We can't all have Youtube channels with 100 million views, but we can become known to 10,000 people through social media, and I think this is an important avenue for increasing attractiveness with women.

I'm going to be making an effort to do this in 2015.

[kaotic]

You know that's how I felt in real life, I never posted girls on my walls as a teenager, never carried them in folders at school. I'm not a big fan of strip clubs, but I've banged a stripper.

It's the same with IG, all the HB's I follow, I actually know. SO MANY thirsty guys comment and they NEVER respond to them, if I troll them, use funny hashtags, point out all the the thirsty guys, or call them a basic bitch - they respond to ME but not the other ones.

It proves the point that girls want validation, they'll take all the compliments and offers but NEVER response. But if you tease them/call them out, they'll react to you and respond.

[Clemmo]

I so co-sign with this. Its a serious waste of time to leave comments on instagram/fb models. These thirsty men are giving these women more value than they deserve.

Like a guy said earlier. Women will respond to a man cracking a joke or a negative comment

[warder]

I'm gonna have to disagree here.

I don't waste time posting on the pictures of girls I don't know. But I do follow some hotties on Instagram/Twitter and see no issue with that. I like looking at pictures of hot girls. Guess that's just me.

As long as it's not at the detriment of going out and actually meeting women, I think it's all good.

[startup__]

No, I haven't done any gay shit because the gay-for-pay is shit pay and I doubt anyone could afford my 1 year of salary anyway.