Quote: (02-08-2019 08:38 PM)PixelFree Wrote:
Hello all,
This is a really difficult post to make.
Background mindset
First, forgive the click bait title. Just wanted to say I'm a red-pilled white guy who is old and wise enough to see what's going on. Australia was 99% European in 1970 and is now 70% European. At this rate we'll be a minority in the country we built by 2035 (16 years away). We are currently experiencing all the African gang violence, a less cohesive society due to multiculturalism, the ethinic self-segregation of the suburbs that diversity brings and over population and over crowding of our infrastructure, zero increase in wages for 10+ years due to cheap foreign labour, I could go on and on.
Our small country of 25 million could be completely transformed by our 1,400 million Indian or 1,400 million Chinese neighbours in 2 seconds flat if we let them. And also, who can't unsee all the (((trickery))) that is going on in the media, Google search results, the anti-white racism and so on.
Having said all that, I don't consider myself racist, nor do I think white people are 'better' than anyone else. We're all just different and I celebrate these differences. I also think the nation state is the best structure for peace, happiness and harmony among humans and that my culture should be celebrated and preserved. I don’t want to live in a world where have all blended together - I like going to Japan and being able to experience 'Japan'. In my view some level of immigration/race mixing/multiculturalism etc is fine, although I still want my country to have an identity and dominant European culture (you know, the reason everyone wants to come here for).
Having said all that, I don't want this thread to turn into a discussion about the above. Just wanted to let you know where my head is at.
Me
More about me:
- Super white, blue eyes, Rh negative, Northern European background. I've always considered my blue eyes as my best feature, I even won baby competitions and so on because of them. I've always wanted to pass this onto a future son.
- A year ago I came out of a 4 year relationship, was engaged, very close to starting a family. Had a very hurtful and depressing period of a good 9 months after that break up and am only starting to feel back to my old self again now. My ex was Eurasian, and the race thing did enter my mind towards the end, although I think that was my mind investing an excuse.
- After a very rough start and dry spell, I've gotten back into the game and had some good success again - laid a handful of girls, some quality in there too.
- I made the decision to play around a bit, just to get my mojo back and so on, but I don't want to mess around too long as I'm ready to settle down and have kids (I've already left it late at nearly 41).
- I'm almost at the point where I'm going to delete all dating apps and go full on wife hunting - even to the point of not being distracted by pursuing anything that doesn't fit the bill (i.e. no FB's).
Her
So anyway, during my 'play the field' period, I've met a wonderful Mauritian women. She's 24. An easy 9.5 in looks, 5'10" tall. She was a full time model, and I mean on billboards and in magazines, not just had a few 'model photos taken'. She didn't like that industry and now works in childcare. I've had close friends call her a 'supermodel', a 'goddess' ('both inside and out') and once a random stranger girl even stopped us in the street just to tell her how beautiful she is (never seen that happen before).
She has a very European face (nose, eyes, cheekbones and lips) and a Dutch surname. She's also very dark skinned, as brown as someone could be without being 'black'.
Most importantly, she's one of the most beautiful souls I've met - she's kind, pleasant, submissive, has the 'happy gene', considerate, caring, real mother/wife material. She's from a conservative Catholic background, been in Australia for 5 years, very low notch count but still interesting, funny and we share similar interests (music, yoga, spirituality, conspiracies, etc). We were both drawn strongly to each other since we met.
We've been sleeping with each other 'dating/undefined' since October, so around 4 - 4.5 months now. Any day now I'm expecting the 'so, what are we?' question from her. The sex is 10/10 (as you would expect it to be this early on). No doubt I'm also under the spell of NRE (new relationship energy) given it's all still pretty new, although I've been around long enough not to fully be blinded by it.
Thoughts
Back when I became aware of the trickery that is going on, I wanted to wife up the whitest, most blondest blue eye'd woman and have 7 kids with her, take them all to church, buy a shotgun, gold bars and go live in the simple life off-grid out in the country. I enjoying watching videos on my heritage, my lineage, my ancestors and re-connecting on where I am from.
I also recently watched a YouTube video where a bunch of mixed raced kids (US) were interviewed, and many of them told of struggles and sad stories of not feeling like that had a strong identity and experiencing racism (mainly the half black kids getting it from black people). I think if a person has two it's probably OK, but once you add it a third it gets confusing. A girl who works in a coffee shop near me looks to be full Asian (genetically), yet has an incredibly strong Scottish accent (probably born in Scotland), and now permanent lives here in Australia. Maybe she doesn't think about it, or maybe she also wonders 'what am I?' and has a sense of never fitting in anywhere.
I believe this is what the Globalists/NWO want, for us all to eventually not have an identity to unite and rally behind - be that a country, a race, a religion or even a family or biological sex at the rate things are going. I also wondering where things are going globally - will things get really nasty with ethnic battle lines drawn?
Where to from here?
I'm thinking I should just live in the now and enjoy our relationship for what it is, but when it's gets to make or break time, then I'll break it off, honour my lineage and start my European wife hunting. I want my children to have a strong ethnic identity and be proud of it.
On the other hand, am I letting the globalists 'win' here in a sense because I am reacting to their agenda (even by trying to push against it)? The thought of a little mini-me but with a tan also has appeal (but not a chance to have frizzy hair). Our kids would be very attractive and have a great mother, which is a good gift I'd like to give them. Has my mind just invented another reason not to commit to someone and move forward in life?
PixelFree is engaging in a special kind of cognitive dissonance I have named the Adjective Disease.
Quote: (06-01-2017 09:48 AM)Off The Reservation Wrote:
...
1. Your liberal use of adjectives about this girl. She is a walking list of positive adjectives pretty to you, conservative, submissive and sweet, and I am sure you have a dozen more if you were challenged about her.
...
Quote: (01-07-2018 10:19 PM)Off The Reservation Wrote:
So many adjectives, so may words. Yet somehow so vapid.
Quote: (04-01-2018 12:09 AM)Off The Reservation Wrote:
Quote: (03-31-2018 12:07 AM)TigerMandingo Wrote:
...
The thing is I really like her. She's sweet, feminine, and good to me. She has strong feelings for me as well. And I don't think the herpes is a result of a slutty past, she just got unlucky. ......
My personal #1 sign a guy is acting like an idiot is when the girl in question is a walking list of adjectives, sweet, pretty etc. Herpes would make a good sign too I guess.
...
The thing you seem to be distracting yourself with OP is the issue of race and someone else's "agenda", while you direct our attention over here (please turn your heads this way) to irrelevant details.
By creating this massive mental duality (your ethno nationalist beliefs in opposition to someone else's agenda vs her being so darn pretty) you have incapacitated yourself from actually thinking about the questions that matter. Hint: How European her face is isn't the issue, nor is your age.
What you have described is pretty much any young girl in here early 20s. Fun loving and pretty and young enough to not have developed some horrible attitude. The modeling hones the ability to act and emphasize these characteristics.
What you have not described is her fitness as a mother of
your children, what she will teach your children, from where in her background will she magically come up with the cultural and intellectual resources to raise
your children? Oh I forgot she is a model.
My guess is that you are still in the same town as your ex and at least partially want to show your community that you can rise from failure and have a 9.5 on your arm. After all, you told us here on rvf that she is a 9.5 and obviously we are supposed to cheer you on! So what does that mean she is doing. Are you a handbag, a "white" model looking accessory yourself to her? Does she giggle to her friends in private that she "got" resources, looks, genes, gushing insane pedestaling treatment, and a look at what I did smirk to tell the villagers back home about you. The jealousy of the girls back home is as tall as those billboards you mention. Do you get your jollies from knowing your future wife is on billboards for all men to admire her beauty?
Are her parents together? Did her mother push her into modeling?
It is your hope that the RVF cheering squad will erupt into shouts of GO BRO, GO BRO, GET THAT 9.5 MODEL PUSSY. You will believe after the cheers that you have rejected racism, and you will get a warm squirmy feeling. That's nice! Racism
is bad, but you might just be throwing reason and thinking for yourself out the window along with racism and confuse them all as one and the same while the sound of that sweet sweet voice and the feel of that delicious African pussy is all that is left on your mind.
It's a beautiful little mental trap and pussy trap you have set for yourself. By rejecting ethno nationalism you are releived of the responsibility to yourself of evaluating what your life and your children's life will be like with this
individual woman.
I hope you take a moment of clarity away from your pair bonding / manipulation and really ask yourself what are your exact desires for your future family and give yourself, your friends and us a little break from the
adjective disease.