[Sir_Night]

Hello guys. I approached this sales assistant in a shop today. We had a little chat. I asked for her number. She said she has a boyfriend. I asked a few questions about her boyfriend just to find out if she was being honest with me which she was. I thanked her and walked out.
Then I came back to my shop. After a while a guy turned up. He said "You approached a girl in Fenwick's today. I'm her boyfriend. You asked questions about me so I came here to introduce myself." Luckily there was no client around us and the staff were busy. I took him out of the shop and we talked for a minute. He was a friendly, understanding guy. So, he didn't cause any problems.
This has always been my biggest concern since I started to make approaches as I'm running a hair salon in the city centre. So people know me. I don't want to harm my and my business's reputation but I don't want to give up on approaching too. I'm quite confused. I need your advice. Thanks in advance.

[Latan]

How about approaching girls, not in front of your work place?

[scorpion]

(01-25-2019 05:51 PM)Sir_Night Wrote:  

I asked a few questions about her boyfriend just to find out if she was being honest with me which she was.

This is where you fucked up and came across as "creepy". It's not your job to interrogate random girls who tell you they have boyfriends to determine whether or not they're lying to you. If a girl tells you she has a boyfriend during a cold approach it's basically her telling you to back off, because she either does have a boyfriend, or she simply isn't interested in you for whatever reason but wants to let you down easy.

If you're concerned about your reputation and run a local business you should be very respectful of signals like this and not try to push the encounter. In the future, if a girl tells you she has a boyfriend during a cold approach you should do one of two things depending on whether you have a good vibe from her or not. If you do have a good vibe from her, simply ignore the boyfriend comment entirely and proceed with the conversation. If her vibe is indifferent then simply end the interaction right there with something like, "Ok. Well it was nice meeting you. Have a good one."

The fact that you didn't realize that your questioning about the boyfriend was socially awkward makes me believe your ability to read social cues needs some work. So for the forseeable future I would simply advise you to treat the boyfriend objection as your cue to end the interaction and gracefully bow out. When you get more skilled at reading the vibe of the girl then you can try to blow past it by ignoring it. But I'm afraid if I tell you to do that now at your current skill level it's going to blow up in your face. And you don't want that because you've got a reputation to keep up. So just respect that random girls don't owe you anything, and if they tell you they have a boyfriend simply take them at their word and move on quickly and politely.

[Sidney Crosby]

What is the advice you need? Don't talk to that chick anymore... problem solved.

[RPB5000]

Super beta on the boyfriends behalf. Sure you shouldnt have asked so many questions about the boyfriend, still I wonder what he was trying to accomplish by coming to speak with you? Intimidation, insecurity? Seems very weak frame of him to do that

[subterfuge]

''if a girl tells you she has a boyfriend during a cold approach it's basically her telling you to back off, because she either does have a boyfriend, or she simply isn't interested in you for whatever reason but wants to let you down easy.''

Playing devils advocate, but since we are supposed to believe in 'game' here, isn't the idea that you can MAKE her interested in you despite things like her having a boyfriend/you not being her 'type' to look at/you being homeless etc ?

I feel like nobody believes in game anymore. Even on game forums. Maybe we've all just moved on/past the oldschool mysterymethod beliefs in terms of what game actually is/is capable of?

[Bienvenuto]

What questions did you ask?

If the questions were relaxed and along the lines of .. 'are you happy with him? ' 'we've hardly known each other 2 minutes and already you're telling me about your problems?' 'I'm not looking for a job.. I'm just looking to meet cool people.' then it is very fucking weird that he sought you out.

Like the poster above says, that s Beta. And/or she's a bit weird.

On the other hand we don't know what questions you asked. If the questions were more specific and targeted about a specific person which could weird people out.

But thats still a little gay from him.

[Sir_Night]

I usually ask these questions pretty much to all girls who say they have a boyfriend.
Is he real?
How old is he?
What's his name?
If she hasitates with her answers I assume that the boyfriend is imaginary and be persistent. If she's being honest then I thank her and leave.

[realologist]

That is about as good as that situation could of went for you because the bf was cool. Take the loss. Learn to be more smooth and low key and don't shit where you eat.

[fmman]

(01-26-2019 12:43 PM)Sir_Night Wrote:  

I usually ask these questions pretty much to all girls who say they have a boyfriend.
Is he real?
How old is he?
What's his name?
If she hasitates with her answers I assume that the boyfriend is imaginary and be persistent. If she's being honest then I thank her and leave.

I was wondering if you persist in this situation, have you ever been on a date or even got a bang out of it?

I wouldn't persist I would make some kind of joke about the best ones always being taken and get out of there. But I suppose thats what makes me a trainee and you guys the gamers

[Belgrano]

(01-26-2019 12:43 PM)Sir_Night Wrote:  

I usually ask these questions pretty much to all girls who say they have a boyfriend.
Is he real?
How old is he?
What's his name?
If she hasitates with her answers I assume that the boyfriend is imaginary and be persistent.

They are hesitating because they are trying to decide whether you are

a.) An autistic creep
b.) A mentally deranged lunatic
c.) Just gay as fuck

and if they already feel threatened enough by that to call the police.

By the way, here's what the girl in the first post told her boyfriend:
"Oh my god, this weird guy from the hair salon came over to talk to me today and asked so many questions about you! How creepy is that?"
It's no wonder he showed up.

[JackinMelbourne]

The boyfriend could have also been a workmate acting the part so you wouldn't hassle her again.

[wi30]

I'm more surprised that you run a hair salon and aren't approaching guys.

[Azlan]

You shouldn't be grilling her about her boyfriend. That seems weird and needy.

[Hypno]

The advice above is good but considering you are a hair stylist I might have trolled the dude and pretended to be gay and hit on him. "I knew [cutomer's] boyfriend would have fabulous muscles." Threat eliminated.

You have to get better at reading women. Yeah, sometimes they lie about boyfriends. You need to playfully respond. LOL I don't want to be your boyfriend. And I can be discrete.

[Lance Blastoff]

I really don’t get why people give the advice to persist after a girl tells you she has a boyfriend. If she really does (and isn’t a total whore) and you persist, she’s going to be offended and what else is she supposed to say after that but “fuck off” which is going to be awkward in almost every situation and would potentially cause drama.
It seems to me that the response my girlfriend-later-wife would generally get of “he’s a lucky guy” is much better than behaving like you’re a scumbag or you think she’s a liar.
Just act like a gentleman, and move on. Confidence and an abundance mentality are going to serve you a lot better in cold approach situations.

[Polniy_Sostav]

If a girl says she has a boyfriend , she either has , or else she doesn't like you. I have never heard of a woman not liking a guy talking to her , if she finds him attractive or interesting.

[subterfuge]

(01-27-2019 09:12 AM)Lance Blastoff Wrote:  

I really don’t get why people give the advice to persist after a girl tells you she has a boyfriend.

Some people believe that you can convince/'game'/'manipulate a girl into finding you attractive and so they think that a girl telling you she has a boyfriend either means she does actually have one, or she's just saying that because she thinks you're ugly, but in either case with 'game' you can still make her want you. Not saying I believe that, but I guess that's why some persist

[void]

Girls will hide that they have a boyfriend and have sex with you, or tell you and cheat anyway - if they really want it.
If she doesn't enable your escalation process, move on.

[Trent W.]

(01-26-2019 08:34 AM)subterfuge Wrote:  

''if a girl tells you she has a boyfriend during a cold approach it's basically her telling you to back off, because she either does have a boyfriend, or she simply isn't interested in you for whatever reason but wants to let you down easy.''

Playing devils advocate, but since we are supposed to believe in 'game' here, isn't the idea that you can MAKE her interested in you despite things like her having a boyfriend/you not being her 'type' to look at/you being homeless etc ?

I feel like nobody believes in game anymore. Even on game forums. Maybe we've all just moved on/past the oldschool mysterymethod beliefs in terms of what game actually is/is capable of?

Mystery method or any other one out there never recommends asking about the boyfriend, or "making him real". The so-called "boyfriend destroyer" tactics out there are all focused around treating the "I have a boyfriend" line as a shit test. Being non reactive e.g. "I don't want to be your boyfriend/Oh great, I have parrot", or agree and amplify "Great, he can keep you company when I'm not there" are some examples of what people use.

Anyway, the safest thing to do is to leave the set but even if you want to persist you have to be careful and own it. You definitely don't want her to feel like she's going to cheat on someone, or offend her or him.

[lunchmoney]

Why would you persist if a girl says she has a BF? If she wanted to talk to you, it wouldn't matter.

[Bikal]

(01-26-2019 12:43 PM)Sir_Night Wrote:  

I usually ask these questions pretty much to all girls who say they have a boyfriend.
Is he real?
How old is he?
What's his name?
If she hasitates with her answers I assume that the boyfriend is imaginary and be persistent. If she's being honest then I thank her and leave.

That's weird to ask, if a girl says she has a boyfriend, she's not interested, there are other cues if she's wavering, none include the word 'boyfriend'. You're lucky she had a beta boyfriend, that could've gone south quick.

[whiteknightrises]

(01-26-2019 12:43 PM)Sir_Night Wrote:  

I usually ask these questions pretty much to all girls who say they have a boyfriend.
Is he real?
How old is he?
What's his name?
If she hasitates with her answers I assume that the boyfriend is imaginary and be persistent. If she's being honest then I thank her and leave.

Jesus you're lucky the boyfriend didn't beat the shit out of you

Imagine you're a girl and some random guy you never met just started asking you that.

Don't ever ask those kinds of questions again

Plenty of girls who don't have boyfriends

^ All the "game" idiots trying to go for girls that have boyfriends playing with fire. It just takes one guy to come after you and ruin you.

[Jetset]

(01-26-2019 12:43 PM)Sir_Night Wrote:  

I usually ask these questions pretty much to all girls who say they have a boyfriend.
Is he real?
How old is he?
What's his name?
If she hasitates with her answers I assume that the boyfriend is imaginary and be persistent. If she's being honest then I thank her and leave.

This is probably some shit I might have done when I was 19 and didn't know better.

If she wants the door open, she'll leave it open. She's not challenging you to find a way to break in. It's a polite "not interested", not a sincere "I would, but..."

So now you're that guy who "doesn't get it", and women hate that, especially if they have to stop being polite to reject you more clearly because you're asking a bunch of intrusive questions that are none of your business. How old is he? What?

A few times I've gotten women I'm chatting up to laugh and keep talking when they tell me they're married with something like "Oh, sure, but no boyfriend, right?" It's a quick test of whether or not they're serious about wanting you to fuck off.

The truth is that 80% of the time, if she's interested, she won't tell you she has a boyfriend even if she has one.

[NegroNeko]

I think what you should of done is taken the initial bow out.. and keep it cool and friendly..

When you see her and make eye contact, simply smile... Maybe would of even started small talk every once in a blue moon... That would of kept your interest known..

She would likely of opened the door to more later if she were to become available or interested, when you tossed in random flirtations.. to test the waters, per sey..

Just would of made sure you didn't get too friendly to where you would of friendzoned yourself. (I learned that lesson, the hard way)