[coffeedrinker]

(12-24-2018 07:48 AM)Fortis Wrote:  

Not always shit you can do. Some girls use you for sex and then ghost you. I had that happen recently with a girl I was trying to get at for about a month.

As for performance enhancers, kegals have been king for me. when I was doing kegals a lot sometimes I would involuntarily squeeze and avoid cumming. I actually had to start consciously making the decision to finish up or I'd just keep going.

I have practised kegels and agree they can be very helpful. However, I think they are also the cause of some of my problems (especially combined with anxiety). I also involuntary squeeze (but not all the way) and early on in sex that actually gets me more aroused and if it happens when I'm near point of no return it can take me over it without warning.

Then if I "survive" the inital spike in arousal, especially if I squeeze to avoid ejaculating, I either start to lose erections very quickly or maintain one but lose sensitivity and find it extremely hard to finish. Both issues seem to also be seen in performance anxiety cases, hence why I want a repeat partner for a while to see if that gets rid of the problems.

[coffeedrinker]

delete - drunk post from me.

[fmman]

Lot's of good discussion here. What I will say is rules like don't kiss until you get back to yours, it's all down to the girl and the situation, it doesn't matter so don't get hung up over it. I had great sex with a girl who was all over me on a date before we went to hers, and she ghosted me 24 hours later. She just wanted sex I think, some do. Some women are as full of as much shit as some of us are

[John Dodds]

(12-01-2018 02:06 PM)coffeedrinker Wrote:  

or not. Last night, I just went for it without trying to have any fear and only lasted about 20 seconds. Then in the morning we started foreplay and I lasted 20 seconds of her giving me a BJ. Serious issue.

Tramadol is your answer, only take 1/4 tablet.
Available over the counter in many countries, it's a pain killer and reduces sensitivity in your skin. A side-effect is that it makes it much harder to 'finish the job'.

[coffeedrinker]

Thanks for all the advice: to conclude, I think it is mostly psychological due to inexeperience and conditioning from when I used to watch porn.

I don't want to start another thread so will ask another question about after sex:

How do you get into relationships? I know this is not a dating forum, so are there any resources people would recommend?

I've just been friend-zoned by a girl who I thought things were going well with after having sex multiple times on two occasions. The two occasions sex seems to be becoming a threshold for me... While I initially had the ED problems with this girl, I lasted a lot longer on the last date and she told me that was best sex she's had and that she likes that it keeps getting better and better but still lost attraction for me. This is a girl that definitely wants a relationship, just not with me.

The usual advice here is keep abundance mentality, don't change much after sex, stay the same cool guy she got attracted to etc. I feel like I did just that this time and yet here I'm. I had multiple dates with other girls inbetween to not put her on a pedestal, after she started feeling a bit cold, I slept with one of the girls I went on dates with. I still feel like a complete loser now.

I've now slept with 9 girls and have never been in relationship. Many people here seem to think this is ideal but for me, it just shows there is something I'm doing completely wrong and it's really killing my confidence.

I feel like I don't even know what I need to know to improve.

[Cr33pin]

After Sex

I cry

[coffeedrinker]

(02-23-2019 03:52 PM)Cr33pin Wrote:  

After Sex

I cry

I get why people here think I'm a troll. But I was 100% useless with girls until 1 year and half a go and also completely socially useless in many aspects.

Many things people take for granted in situations, I don't catch up on. I don't know how to act. This forum has helped me improve on many things, but when I'm in an unknown situation, I tend to go back to old instincts and habits. Hence why I keep asking questions that people find ridiculous.

It hurts when you can't seem to make genuine connections with people.

[whiteknightrises]

1. Don't worry about this shit. It's not like you're gonna die cuz you nut too fast. You can always just find some other girl

2. Look into kegels (strengthening muscles in your dick - if you can control them, you can control cumming better)

3. Look into edging - basically jacking off but not ejaculating - helps endurance and knowing when you're about to cum

4. You don't have to be a rockstar in bed. If you think like that, you're always gonna have performance anxiety. It'll just come naturally with experience and doing stuff like I mentioned

[chvrches]

(02-23-2019 03:34 PM)coffeedrinker Wrote:  

I've just been friend-zoned by a girl who I thought things were going well with after having sex multiple times on two occasions. The two occasions sex seems to be becoming a threshold for me... While I initially had the ED problems with this girl, I lasted a lot longer on the last date and she told me that was best sex she's had and that she likes that it keeps getting better and better but still lost attraction for me. This is a girl that definitely wants a relationship, just not with me.

Sorry if i missed that part, but how many dates were you on with this girl? Something very similar happened to me recently. Also, about the ED problems with this certain girl, how many times did it happen? More than once?

[coffeedrinker]

Quote:

Sorry if i missed that part, but how many dates were you on with this girl? Something very similar happened to me recently. Also, about the ED problems with this certain girl, how many times did it happen? More than once?

I read your post on the other thread and also thought how similar our situations were.

It was 4 dates, she stayed over on 3rd and I stayed over on the 4th so there were a couple of times where I lasted enough for it to not be too much of an issue.

Looking back on it, I did send a few silly texts and possibly didnt get her to invest enough. Small things but she was def better rating than me on looks so when my game started cracking, she lost interest.

Frustrating that by giving in to what she asked by a small amount (acting bit more as a bf) meant that she lost attraction but lesson learned.

[chvrches]

(03-14-2019 01:46 PM)coffeedrinker Wrote:  

Quote:

Sorry if i missed that part, but how many dates were you on with this girl? Something very similar happened to me recently. Also, about the ED problems with this certain girl, how many times did it happen? More than once?

I read your post on the other thread and also thought how similar our situations were.

It was 4 dates, she stayed over on 3rd and I stayed over on the 4th so there were a couple of times where I lasted enough for it to not be too much of an issue.

Looking back on it, I did send a few silly texts and possibly didnt get her to invest enough. Small things but she was def better rating than me on looks so when my game started cracking, she lost interest.

Frustrating that by giving in to what she asked by a small amount (acting bit more as a bf) meant that she lost attraction but lesson learned.

I literally feel like this is a mirror to my situation... i didn't mention in my other post that first time before sex i also had ED because of performance anxiety. We brushed over it, but i lost a lot of frame because of it. My game started cracking when at first it was this ED shit happening to me, then not lasting more than 2 min. She's been hinting towards how important sex is for her and that she enjoys it, and i end up giving her bad sex once it counted the most...

Your last sentences hit close to home. I went back and read some of the messages before the attraction slowly died off, i was acting like a bf, she lost attraction when i let my game guard down and message her one message after a few days of not seeing her saying "miss your cute smile, what are you up to lately?" like a little beta male. That's when i started to send more texts and she started investing less. Prior to that, it was very 50/50 i'd say maybe even 60/40 investment on her part.

[coffeedrinker]

(03-14-2019 05:43 PM)chvrches Wrote:  

(03-14-2019 01:46 PM)coffeedrinker Wrote:  

Quote:

Sorry if i missed that part, but how many dates were you on with this girl? Something very similar happened to me recently. Also, about the ED problems with this certain girl, how many times did it happen? More than once?

I read your post on the other thread and also thought how similar our situations were.

It was 4 dates, she stayed over on 3rd and I stayed over on the 4th so there were a couple of times where I lasted enough for it to not be too much of an issue.

Looking back on it, I did send a few silly texts and possibly didnt get her to invest enough. Small things but she was def better rating than me on looks so when my game started cracking, she lost interest.

Frustrating that by giving in to what she asked by a small amount (acting bit more as a bf) meant that she lost attraction but lesson learned.

I literally feel like this is a mirror to my situation... i didn't mention in my other post that first time before sex i also had ED because of performance anxiety. We brushed over it, but i lost a lot of frame because of it. My game started cracking when at first it was this ED shit happening to me, then not lasting more than 2 min. She's been hinting towards how important sex is for her and that she enjoys it, and i end up giving her bad sex once it counted the most...

Your last sentences hit close to home. I went back and read some of the messages before the attraction slowly died off, i was acting like a bf, she lost attraction when i let my game guard down and message her one message after a few days of not seeing her saying "miss your cute smile, what are you up to lately?" like a little beta male. That's when i started to send more texts and she started investing less. Prior to that, it was very 50/50 i'd say maybe even 60/40 investment on her part.

Got to keep in mind that if she had sex with you, she was already attracted to you. One of my problems was that I assumed I had to constantly do new things to keep the attraction going, whereas in effect you just have to do the same as before and slowly mix it up so it doesn't get boring. The worry of constantly having to run "perfect game" can be detrimental.

Also girls can sense the reason behind each message. That text doesn't seem that bad but if she can sense it's a case of you checking up on her to see if she's still attracted then she's going to feel in control. If you had send that same text when you've ignored her text for a couple of days, the effect is completely different.

Texting can be beneficial but there are too many potential pitfalls so I'm trying to keep it logistics only with some occasionaly flirt/tease text.