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Books on anger issues/emotional control
11-05-2018, 07:49 PM
I recently did serious amounts of damage to my own property cause I got pissed and have to pay for it now. I have a history of this stuff from childhood but after my later stages of puberty I gained more emotional control and my slip ups werent to bad.Part of it is frustration from other things but ultimately I slipped up destroyed some shit again.......I promised my mom i'd check out atleast one book on anger management...
And yeah I know stuff like contact sports helps,eating ealthy,spending all day at the beach,blowing steam partying,or what ever else you can think of helps but as an adult sometimes your time is just gonna be devoted towards other things,shits gonna happen,your diet/workouts will be shitty for a week,and you're not gonna be able to take it out on some kid in practice. And because we exist in polite society we can't just flip shit every time things don't go our way...
Just asking for recommendations on a good non sjw liberal feel good type book for men who struggle with breaking things and destroying objects immediately following intense anger.......its an expensive hobby i'm tired of supporting...
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Books on anger issues/emotional control
11-05-2018, 08:52 PM
The best thing you can do is learn how to breath. I mean really breath. Take long deep breaths. 4,7,8 technique is great for relaxing you.
Exhale all the air out your mouth, close your mouth, breath in 4 seconds through your nose, hold for 7. Exhale hard through your mouth. Repeat and hold for 8. Do this as many times until you calm down.
This works because the breathing helps relax you naturally and it gives you time to use your mind to think logically and not on emotion. If you do that you'll find that most things aren't that big of a deal.
I suggest you have a hard physical outlet that same day too to burn the physical energy that comes from anger too.
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Books on anger issues/emotional control
11-05-2018, 10:03 PM
There's probably 5 things I would say to you:
1. Figure out whether you are a mental person, or a physical person
For mental people, mind techniques and things like meditation work for relaxing or calming them
For physical people, they need to express themselves physically in order to get in a state of calm
Based on which one you are - have activities you can do to let off steam and get in a state to think properly
I know for me - meditation, breathing exercises - none of that stuff has ever worked because I know I'm not changing my physical environment and as soon as I'm done everything will be the same. I need to be physically and practically doing things
2. Put all your energy and effort into finding meaning in life, and developing a well rounded life
If you don't have projects, a way to make money you find interesting or challenging, or things you find meaningful in life - you have no rock or no well to go to in times of chaos or when life is going shit
You need to find things within your control that you can work on in your life that will give you peace and balance. It might be woodwork, artistry, making music and playing instruments, starting a business, working on cars - anything that you can get good at and stick at
3. Develop discipline and become an adult
You mention spending all day at the beach, or blowing steam partying
The problem with these things is they are recreational. You can't reward yourself for being angry by going and doing things which don't involve discipline
Doing hard shit pushes down and crushes your ego, and amplifies your values. Do more hard shit that keeps you accountable and requires you to be disciplined. It increases your self control, patience and perspective in life
Take the challenge of being a grown up, and doing more things you don't like that provide you with longer term rewards
4. Consider joining an anger management group in person, or an Facebook or online group
Where you can talk to other people going through the same thing, and you can perhaps encourage each other or offer each other tips
5. Consider professional advice
It's very possible you may naturally be inclined to anger more quickly - whether that's from your genes or the way you think
Consider seeing someone for a professional opinion on your situation
I'd stay away from meds if you can though.
Exercise, eat healthy, think positive, make money, have projects to do and keep you busy, think about and give to people other than yourself, go travelling and go visit poor countries to realise how lucky you are, continually grow yourself
Just keep engaged in life and eventually things change over time
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Books on anger issues/emotional control
11-06-2018, 08:54 AM
The first few chapters of laws of human nature by Robert Greene caused me to get a better view point in life. It may help you with anger
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Books on anger issues/emotional control
11-10-2018, 12:53 AM
Quit caffeine
The harder you practice, the luckier you get.
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Books on anger issues/emotional control
01-26-2019, 10:39 AM
Meditations by Marcus Aurelius.
Get into stoicism and learn that externalities are uncontrollable and not worth the emotional or mental energy. Our internal state is the only thing that is 100% under our control. That is where we need to focus.
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Books on anger issues/emotional control
01-26-2019, 11:57 PM
I'd look up Jesse Lee Peterson on YT.
He helped me get over my anger. I noticed a lot of people's anger (including mines) stemmed from their hatred towards their parents especially their mothers.
Basically, the only solution is to forgive your mother for fucking you up.
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Books on anger issues/emotional control
01-27-2019, 12:02 AM
Feeling Good by Dr. David Burns
You have to attack the root: negative cognitions. This book is for learning how to self administer Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to re-wire yourself and your though processes. I also recommend researching “neuroplasticity.”