[a beer is enough]

Unlike what might be typical for most of the people I am around (upper middle class), I was a late bloomer in regards to my social life and even with women. They say college is supposed to be the prime of your social life but that was not the case for me. I was socially isolated and at one point even thought about suicide, and I mean seriously thought about it, before finally starting to break free from that mindset and turning my life around. Life has come a long way since then......

I didn't hit my stride until after college when I moved to a major city, got roommates and lived in a younger part of that city. Now that is when my social life started to blossom and I felt like I had friends to go out with and parties to go to, this makes me feel like my life experience is far from typical. I've always felt like kind of a misfit compared to what is normal, guess that is what led me to this forum in the first place.

Then I think more about the kids who did get it right in their college and even as early as high school days. A lot of them built up their friend base in those years whether it was through Greek Life or whatever it may have been. It seems like these guys can just use people from their college days to easily meet others in the same situation as them: younger and only a few years out of college. Almost like the whole phenomenon of once you have something, it is easier to get more of it (money, women, etc.). These guys can use social circle game a lot more easily to not only meet women but also get more job opportunities from their network, know where the best party is at, the hottest spots in town and the list goes on.

Guess I am trying to compare myself more to those kids now since it seemed like they had it figured out earlier.

I found that having a social life for me, when it was at its peak, made it very easy for me to meet women. Not only was it through social circle game but also having friends to go out to bars or clubs with meant that I could be more outcome independent as opposed to going out by myself and having to be there just to get pussy. I also found that through friends I was able to find the hottest parties, best events and even had my energy levels up because I felt like I wasn't out alone.

Now as I progress into my twenties, even though the years right after college were really fun, I am left with some questions regarding social life.

Is it as doable to find friends to do fun shit with around my age once I get to my late twenties or even leave my twenties?

How big of an impact will changing from one major city to the next have on my social life?

Most importantly.

What's normal for social life as you progress into your 20s or even 30s anyways?

I actually didn't know college was going to be hardcore partying with a lot of Greek Life politics until I got there and then looking back at it, definitely paid the price for not knowing that. Now I am left wondering what's normal for most people to do with their social life assuming they don't want to get married and have kids as they move into their twenties.

Starting to wonder for how long a guy can actually maintain the lifestyle of going out, hooking up with randoms, partying and living that sort of life until it is time to settle down. I have taken a break from it in recent weeks due to not feeling as well and things going on with family back home but that is starting to improve so I'll resuming my life as normal in a month or so.

[Winston Wolfe]

(06-17-2018 01:18 AM)a beer is enough Wrote:  

*snip*

Now as I progress into my twenties, even though the years right after college were really fun, I am left with some questions regarding social life.

Is it as doable to find friends to do fun shit with around my age once I get to my late twenties or even leave my twenties?

How big of an impact will changing from one major city to the next have on my social life?

Most importantly.

What's normal for social life as you progress into your 20s or even 30s anyways?

I actually didn't know college was going to be hardcore partying with a lot of Greek Life politics until I got there and then looking back at it, definitely paid the price for not knowing that. Now I am left wondering what's normal for most people to do with their social life assuming they don't want to get married and have kids as they move into their twenties.

Starting to wonder for how long a guy can actually maintain the lifestyle of going out, hooking up with randoms, partying and living that sort of life until it is time to settle down. I have taken a break from it in recent weeks due to not feeling as well and things going on with family back home but that is starting to improve so I'll resuming my life as normal in a month or so.

Bolded some parts of your post.

It is important to understand that there is no such thing as "what's normal". The only thing that matters is what's normal to you. Don't try to fit in what society or anyone else expects of you. Fuck 'em.

Similarly, there is no "time to settle down". Everyone's timeline in life is different. Some people settle down and have kids in their early 20's, some people have their first kid in their early 40's. There is no right answer.

Your own words:

Quote:

I've always felt like kind of a misfit compared to what is normal, guess that is what led me to this forum in the first place.

What you are experiencing is a disconnect from the "normal" that is being fed to you on a daily basis by the media and your own social circle as well.

Indeed, many of us have discovered these parts of the internet for a similar reason.

To give a more specific answer to your question:

Quote:

Starting to wonder for how long a guy can actually maintain the lifestyle of going out, hooking up with randoms, partying and living that sort of life

This is also different for everyone. You'll find that over time, you start caring less and less about that and you move on naturally. I find that for most of us, this starts happening in our late twenties or early thirties.

How old are you?

[Graft]

(06-17-2018 01:18 AM)a beer is enough Wrote:  

Unlike what might be typical for most of the people I am around (upper middle class), I was a late bloomer in regards to my social life and even with women. They say college is supposed to be the prime of your social life but that was not the case for me. I was socially isolated and at one point even thought about suicide, and I mean seriously thought about it, before finally starting to break free from that mindset and turning my life around. Life has come a long way since then......

I didn't hit my stride until after college when I moved to a major city, got roommates and lived in a younger part of that city. Now that is when my social life started to blossom and I felt like I had friends to go out with and parties to go to, this makes me feel like my life experience is far from typical. I've always felt like kind of a misfit compared to what is normal, guess that is what led me to this forum in the first place.

Then I think more about the kids who did get it right in their college and even as early as high school days. A lot of them built up their friend base in those years whether it was through Greek Life or whatever it may have been. It seems like these guys can just use people from their college days to easily meet others in the same situation as them: younger and only a few years out of college. Almost like the whole phenomenon of once you have something, it is easier to get more of it (money, women, etc.). These guys can use social circle game a lot more easily to not only meet women but also get more job opportunities from their network, know where the best party is at, the hottest spots in town and the list goes on.

Guess I am trying to compare myself more to those kids now since it seemed like they had it figured out earlier.

I found that having a social life for me, when it was at its peak, made it very easy for me to meet women. Not only was it through social circle game but also having friends to go out to bars or clubs with meant that I could be more outcome independent as opposed to going out by myself and having to be there just to get pussy. I also found that through friends I was able to find the hottest parties, best events and even had my energy levels up because I felt like I wasn't out alone.

Now as I progress into my twenties, even though the years right after college were really fun, I am left with some questions regarding social life.

Is it as doable to find friends to do fun shit with around my age once I get to my late twenties or even leave my twenties?

How big of an impact will changing from one major city to the next have on my social life?

Most importantly.

What's normal for social life as you progress into your 20s or even 30s anyways?

I actually didn't know college was going to be hardcore partying with a lot of Greek Life politics until I got there and then looking back at it, definitely paid the price for not knowing that. Now I am left wondering what's normal for most people to do with their social life assuming they don't want to get married and have kids as they move into their twenties.

Starting to wonder for how long a guy can actually maintain the lifestyle of going out, hooking up with randoms, partying and living that sort of life until it is time to settle down. I have taken a break from it in recent weeks due to not feeling as well and things going on with family back home but that is starting to improve so I'll resuming my life as normal in a month or so.

I have a similar predicament to yourself, but in the opposite direction. I was pretty popular in both high school and college but none of those friendships really worked out long term and I always question the path that I took academically/socially.

When you take the red pill, you may realize that "taking the right path" socially does not always equal long term success. I had a baller social circle during my youth, but as we grew older, it became harder to relate to those who wanted to gossip about college/high school, play fantasy football, watch sitcoms, etc, while I wanted to chase tail and conquer the world.

One ugly truth is that it's very difficult to make friends as a male unless you bring value to the table in terms of meeting women, money, status, etc.

Another ugly truth is that most men won't bring another threatening guy into a social circle with existing pussy, they don't want to fuck up their chances.

From my experience, the best you can hope for at this point in your life is a group of guys that you can game with. You probably won't intertwine with a male/female social circle at this stage. Guys are just too territorial and protective of the women they hang out with to bring you in.

[CleanSlate]

I can relate to this feeling of always playing catch up socially. Being deaf, since I could not pick up social cues by overhearing or eavesdropping conversations around me, I was (and maybe still am) indeed behind my peers socially.

But I’ve got news to tell you.

It doesn’t matter. Most people are too inside their heads or too busy caring about what others think to judge your social skills. And even if they did judge your social skills, it doesn’t really matter because a real friend would look past it. Otherwise, not everyone is meant to get along with each other.

My best advice here is to create your own social circle. Meet like minded men, bond with them over business, game, red pill, or even sports and video games. Go drinking or gaming together (without the dumb PUA shit) and eventually, you’ll have a solid circle of good men and their girlfriends. Hell, use the forum meetups as a starting point.

You could also join other circles not for the women, but for your own interests. If you like music, join a music group and make new friends through that. Build your own circle from there.

[ChefAllDay]

(06-17-2018 03:54 AM)CleanSlate Wrote:  

My best advice here is to create your own social circle. Meet like minded men, bond with them over business, game, red pill, or even sports and video games. Go drinking or gaming together (without the dumb PUA shit) and eventually, you’ll have a solid circle of good men and their girlfriends. Hell, use the forum meetups as a starting point.

You could also join other circles not for the women, but for your own interests. If you like music, join a music group and make new friends through that. Build your own circle from there.

Great advice. Now you re older and more red-pilled you can choose who you allow to become your friends, and how to mold your social circle. In school we are forced into social circles (or not) by circumstances partially out of our control. Also your mental and sometimes physical well being were much more reliant on by having the right circle.

Now you can cherry pick to a much larger degree who you want to let in to your life. People with shared values and interests. Just go here those people are (sports, hobbies, interests).

[scotian]

I’m 35 still bang sluts, drink booze, smoke dope and darts and have an irregular sleep pattern. I spend a few months a year in tropical paradises chasing foreign poon and doing adventurous shit like hiking, scuba diving and raw dogging Tinder skanks. Life is good and I enjoy it, as I should, I’m probably half dead already.

Don’t compare yourself to others too much, do your own thing.

[PrimeTime32]

My advice is to be calculating, sit down by yourself for a weekend (hotel room is optimal) and write down and map all of your goals and dreams that you want to achieve. Stick to that plan and be bold, being bold is key because a lot of people let fear and doubt take over. If you stick to that there will be no "catch up", and your peers will be in bewilderment and asking themselves what the hell got into a beer is enough.

[a beer is enough]

A lot of great insights on this thread so far. I am 24 btw Winston.

What I was kind of getting at in this thread is what I missed out on in college and then got a taste of right afterwards. It is enjoying that sort of fun life with others around your age and feeling a part of a community like that if you guys can still see where I am coming from. When I hit my social stride after college thanks to living in a younger part of a city with roommates in my exact situation, I felt alive with my social life for once.

Roommates knew a lot of people from their college days as they were popular and I met a lot of people through them who were in the same situation as me, especially the girls I hooked up with. For once in my life I kind of felt like I was part of a community with others in a very similar situation to me and being single was not a setback.

Going out to bars and clubs meant fun experiences rather than just going out to hunt for pussy. It is hard for me to just describe in words alone but in the past year or so, I've kind of drifted away from that due to no longer being around my roommates.

I'll look into the hobbies but I am trying to achieve some of what I had fresh out of college again. For some reason I've always felt a bit out of the loop or as if I did not belong as much hanging out with people much older than me.

[scotian]

The best part about growing up with working class parents in a shitty town is that they don't have really high expectations of their kids, if you finish high school, take a decent trade and stay out of prison, they're pretty happy. I can't imagine the stress of having crazy Asian helicopter parents, Tiger moms are never pleased, I'd probably end up running away from home! Now that I live away and have a decent trade, I spoil my parents by flying them out to visit me, flying them on overseas vacations and buying them shit tons of lobster and beer when I visit back home. They put a roof over my head, bought me clothes and took me to hockey practice at 7am on Sundays for years, its the least I can do!

[Dragan]

Rave scene- if you live in large city, it can be a fun way to meet both men and women.
Art scene- again, cool way to meet artistic types. Art galleries shows, etc.
Regular at a bar- Great way to get to know bartenders and people in the service industry, who can be cool.
Political groups- Another way to get to know people.
Organized sports- Meet fit people.
Business Networking- Can meet women and other people who can share business experience or give you referrals.
Volunteer- Filters out vapid women and you meet women who are completely self-absorbed.

[Brebelle3]

(06-17-2018 12:42 PM)a beer is enough Wrote:  

A lot of great insights on this thread so far. I am 24 btw Winston.

24?

Dude, I'm 43 and trying to figure out what the fuck is going on.

I've been homeless and sleeping in my car for a month and a half. I've ruined every relationship I've ever had, but as long as you don't go all Bourdainy, you've should have plenty of time to get things right.

The guys on here have convinced me it's mindset, all mindset. My mind is laser focused on making something out of this life. Nothing is going to stop me.

Check out Cernovich

[Dulceácido]

With all due respect to my friend Dragan, I'd avoid the rave scene.

Anywho, dude did I hear you say you're 24? Holy moly, what i'd do to be 24 again--knowing what I know now of course, not the dumbass 24 year old I was, where my car would run out of gas, girls ripped through my life and took advantage of me, I couldn't get my shit together.

You pose an interesting question, but it's hardly a dilemma. Wait until you're 34.... 44.... 54.... All your friends/siblings are dead or dying. Your parents are dead. Just a little heads-up, Brother, it doesn't get easier from here.

Start figuring these things out. Find a place you love, possibly/hopefully a person you love. And start hunkering down for the storm.


EDIT: Brebelle3 beat me to it....

[a beer is enough]

I am doing alright in most areas of my life, even dating, but social life has taken somewhat of a hit. It was at its peak when I was in my early twenties fresh out of college living with roommates who were popular back in their college days, also fresh out of college. Through them I met a lot of others who were fresh out of college and in their early twenties. As someone who missed out on the social experience of college, I guess this was somewhat of a reimbursement for me.

For the first time in my life I actually felt happy with my social life. Not only was it having friends but things like going out to bars with a couple guys who were around my age or at times even with a crew. As someone who has sarged alone a great deal, it was infinitely better and more exciting, my game was better too because I was outcome independent and more focused on having a good time. While those times were extremely fun, I feel that I hadn't had enough of them.

Due to the area I was in being real expensive to live in and a host of other issues, I decided to move to a much cheaper area so I could live more on my own. Unfortunately, that means the people around me are older and while there are people in their twenties, they are married or in committed LTRs. None of these people are nightclub happy people.

At this point, I am starting to wonder if it is worth spending the extra money to move to a younger part of a major city again just to build a more exciting social life but living with roommates gets old too. Decisions decisions but I do feel that social life is something I really have to get fixed in my twenties in order to avoid big issues in my thirties. TBH, I want to have had so much fun in my twenties with social life and partying that I am over it by the time I reach the big three-o.

[a beer is enough]

Posting this thread and having a weekend to my thoughts, I also realized that the further you are from the upper middle class or suburban American lifestyle, the less things like "college are the best four years of your life" tend to apply. It seems like people I knew in college who came from poor families or people who did not follow the high school to college path are just now starting to build their lives slowly. For them it seems like life is starting to peak right now.

On the other hand the kids you had who came from wealthy families were the ones who took the easier majors, did things like going Greek Life and treated all of college like a giant party. For them, life is supposed to end after college or just not be as great as it was in college. Now there might be sour grapes on my part and I apologize in advance if anyone is offended, still kind of gets me that I missed out on this part of my life lol.

I just hate such a tough time wrapping my head around the idea that with the average lifespan being 80 years that all of the fun moments in life are supposed to be had before the age of 30. It almost makes me beg and ask why more and more people are not deciding to remaining single after 30 and still enjoy life now that they have money to actually enjoy it.

[Dulceácido]

Listen, Brother... i'm about to lay some tough love on you...

Think about metaphysical time. Think about your time here. It's microscopic... You don't have much. i've even less unless there's a tragedy.

You got some problems? Okay. You've got a couple years to fix them. Do it. Start now.

This world is 4.5 billions years old, argumentatively. You're 24, do you see what a speck of crap that is on 4.5 BILLION years?

The important thing that you do with "time," is you do something with it. Lots of people waste it, others let it pass and suddenly it's gone and they've lost it.

You've recognized a problem and you're trying to fix it. Do it. It's not even late yet. You're 24. You're a baby. Wait until 44 and you have the same crap going on!!!! It's a totally different story.

[Winston Wolfe]

(06-17-2018 04:04 PM)Dulceácido Wrote:  

Wait until you're 34.... 44.... 54.... All your friends/siblings are dead or dying. Your parents are dead. Just a little heads-up, Brother, it doesn't get easier from here.

This is very true and very real.

My dad is a very stoic person who doesn't show many emotions.

I remember the first and only time in my life when I saw him wipe a tear from his eye. He was in his 50s and just heard the news that his best friend had passed away after a few years of battling cancer.

"He was the only childhood friend I still had left." is what I remember him saying.

I am in my early 30s and I am in the middle of this process myself. Less and less friends to count on.

Friends disappear, man. Some become fathers. Some move cities. Some change as a person all together, and become complete strangers to you compared to who they once were.

You change yourself, too. Priorities change. Life paths change.

As you get older, you'll find that you're surrounding yourself with fewer and fewer close friends who are on the same page as you. TRULY on the same page, both in their life journey and in their beliefs. These are the only friendships that will survive the test of time.

Hell, even you are already experiencing this process in your early 20s, as evidenced by this thread.

I don't want to sound all doom and gloom, but this is just how it works man.

Do you have any friend in particular who you consider a really good friend, but you haven't really seen each other in a while?

Buy a crate of beers and show up at his front door. Because before you know it, all of that is in the past.

[RDF]

For now, if you want a good social life, you should live in a more fun part of the city where logistics are top notch and sacrifice some comfort for that. That is the reason why a small apartment in Manhattan will cost more to rent than a 6-bedroom mansion in Amarillo, Texas. Logistics is the name of the game and you have to pay the price to live in a fun area.

As others have said though, the typical lifestyle progression for an upper-middle class guy is high school -> college partying -> office job -> meet a girl in college or right after -> get married by early 30s -> kids. That is how most people go through things, for better or for worse. Thus, it is consistently harder to have a life like you describe, since fewer and fewer of your peers are doing it. Just law of large numbers.

If you are not interested in having a life like that, you need to set up your lifestyle to allow you to continue to have a network of like-minded people going forward. There's hundreds of ways to do this, but here are a few that I have considered and can work.

1) Hobbies. Has already been mentioned but this is one of the simplest avenues to meet like-minded friends in an organic way. Having hobbies makes you better as a man and makes life more fun... life that consists of [work -> gym -> going out fri and sat night] is boring. And, if you're pursuing a hobby you enjoy, you will meet people who you vibe well with, and some of them will also be single and ready to go out to chase tail (or, if they're chicks, it could be a great way to meet an LTR).

2) Focus primarily on career now and use $ as a way into the social scene when you're older. Look at Wall Street Playboys blog for an approximate blueprint of this plan. This sometimes gets a bad rep in our corner of the net, but from what I've seen, a wealthy mid-30s playboy who also has good style and solid game can be absolutely deadly in the night scene. I've lost out on girls to guys like this many times. These guys can pull hot bitches, and have plenty of friends who aren't just using them for their money (money tends to attract money, and rich dudes have no need to use other rich dudes for money).

3) Pursue location-independent work and travel around to different cities to party. Plenty of guys on this forum do this, but look at DigitalNomad's Traveling the world thread in the Travel section as a great example. He is 30 and is fucking 100+ chicks a year while going to the top party destinations, both in the US and across the world, and having a blast. You meet plenty of friends that way, and have as good of a social life as it gets.

Plenty of avenues to do this my man, that is just a few. Think of it as now you are building your own life, without an exact blueprint of how to live it from your family or from other people. You can make of it what you want.

[a beer is enough]

You hit the nail right on the head, that is the major obstacle, finding enough people to enjoy that sort of life with. That is the tough part, a lot of people you meet after college are just over it and sometimes not as energetic about life. It is unfortunate that even in this day and age, so many people just give up on that life and settle down but I am being selfish here. I personally found college to be a mirage and in no way did I think most kids were having the college experience, it was a select few.

Then again RDF and anyone reading, there is only so much whining and negativity a man can produce and endure. I've taken this as a challenge to do something special in my twenties and really, somehow, build it. For one, I know I might potentially be facing a tougher challenge than some kid entering a big party school but I feel like history rewards those who get creative.

For one, I am going to spend time on the logistics half of it again. Maybe I do research on places other than NYC, hear Chicago is pretty good for your twenties. After that, I am going to implement the ideas although I do have to say, going to need to get more specific on some of these hobbies. Think Co-Ed sports are big and so are club sports in general among younger people so that is a start but other hobbies might be worth looking into as well if people have a suggestion.

Huge fan of Wall Street Playboys although I do think their life for specifically building a social life is kind of lacking. The idea of being a bachelor in his 30s getting laid is legit and it is good you bring up rich friends, that like minded mentality is quite the one to have. I would love to have my crew of guys in their 30s who are rich and not focused on marriage, be almost like a fraternity after college.

And there might be a silver lining to it all, this is a journey I am willing to take.

I mean who knows at this point.

Maybe the ceiling for social life after college is a lot lower than that in college, it might not be as great compared to that of some rich frat boy or popular kid.

What my experience has done is given me a purpose to work towards that brought me to this forum. I am going to spend the rest of my twenties to work on this and somehow come up with some conclusion to it all.

By some dumb luck, who knows, maybe the awesome fun-filled party life of lots of friends and fun shit does not only exist after college but is better than what being a high status frat guy at the best party school had to offer. The end result could be anything from me joining the life sucks after college crowd to finding that there is a pretty awesome life (strictly speaking social life here) to be lived after college.

The bottom line is I have to take action because I feel like time is running out for me to get the life I want, anyone have suggestions for some awesome hobbies to look into I am all ears.

[MongolianAbroad]

(06-17-2018 11:03 PM)a beer is enough Wrote:  

I just hate such a tough time wrapping my head around the idea that with the average lifespan being 80 years that all of the fun moments in life are supposed to be had before the age of 30.

It's been the opposite for me. I read this quote a few days ago:

"Remember when you wanted what you have now."

And it's really stuck in my head...I can't even begin to express how grateful I am to be where I'm at, knowing that as long as I avoid car accidents and am lucky enough to avoid cancer and other serious ailments, the next 35 years will be amazing.

Until we age, and then things start falling apart and it's up to each individual to decide how to deal with that.

(06-17-2018 11:03 PM)a beer is enough Wrote:  

It almost makes me beg and ask why more and more people are not deciding to remaining single after 30 and still enjoy life now that they have money to actually enjoy it.

It's a good question.

There's no reason you can't do that, and I'm partial to that strategy as well.

[RDF]

I actually think the ceiling for social life is significantly higher after college. I've gone to a few mansion parties out here in my city that were insane, think 500+ people in a giant house in the hills with an infinity pool, unlimited booze/drugs, and filled with hotties with 1m+ ig followers. For some people here this is an every weekend event (I'm not that connected haha). Even the best fraternities with the biggest houses would struggle to match that.

The problem is that conversely, the floor for social life is lower after graduation. In college, I think you have to try to not meet people, given how many opportunities you have (class, organizations, greek life, etc). You may not get into the best parties, but you usually have some type of social life, assuming you go to a larger school. On the other hand, if you work a typical 9-5 job and don't know many people in your city, you can literally not meet anybody new for an entire year if you don't put yourself out there.

In regard to some of your other questions:

Cities: NYC is probably the most fun city in the country but obv can be expensive, so you should figure out the $ situation before renting an apt in Manhattan. Chicago is solid, basically NYC-lite and cheaper. Los Angeles gets a bad rep but it isn't as bad as people think. Same for San Francisco (though its also expensive af). Any big city has opportunity, just do your research on the forum and other places and think of one that vibes best with you.

Hobbies: There are dozens of choices but here's a laundry list of things that I've done and would recommend
- Biking/surfing/running: Any of these are good individual sports, but you will also see like-minded people doing them. Harder to meet people without putting effort it, but great for self-development and fitness.
- Boxing: Great exercise, going into a ring and being hit in the face always brings you back to reality. If you want to meet chicks just jump into the cardio classes. Win win.
- Salsa dancing: Only gone once but I loved it. Friendly people and will make things easier with Latinas. Will continue with it.
- Kickball: Many cities have kickball leagues, filled with younger people, you play some kickball and then get beers with your teammates after. Fun times and you can meet cool guys and girls.
- Travel: Not exactly a "hobby", but it is so much easier to meet people when you travel to interesting places. It just happens far more naturally. I traveled through Europe 3 years ago and still talk to the people I met in the hostels. This is the way to build a network across the world.

I wouldn't look at all of this as a "challenge" necessarily. I would think of it as an opportunity to find out a general direction of where you want your life to go in the next decade and beyond, and then craft a plan to get there. WSP (and others) always say that people overestimate what they can do in a day, but underestimate what they can do in 10 years. No better time to start than now.

[Adrenaline]

Why do you need a social circle to party with into your 20s/30s? Just go out solo, smash a few drinks, have fun and meet people as you go. I’ve found girls also come easier doing this.

[Running Turtles]

(06-17-2018 01:18 AM)a beer is enough Wrote:  

They say college is supposed to be the prime of your social life...

That's a sales pitch used to convince people to spend several thousands on a sometimes useless education. (The people who choose a college because of the party culture aren't the ones getting high-paying STEM jobs right out of college).

Secondly, if you were at your prime as a man when you were inexperienced and broke, what does that say about your success later in life? The only ones at their prime when in college are women. Don't let the marketing get to you - just build your life and establish a social circle based on your interests as they develop.

[Bastard Sword]

The idea that college is the "best four years of your life" is absolute nonsense. It's one of the worst parts of contemporary American culture.

I had some fun times in college, sure. Let me tell you what else happened in college:

-My parents blew six figures to essentially buy me a prestigious but fundamentally valueless degree
-I burned brain cells doing drugs and drinking, leaving with me mild psychological problems (I get anxiety on occasion, and my short term memory has gone to shit)
-Led an incredibly promiscuous lifestyle -- which was fun, but overall not very good for me (wasted time approaching and texting girls that could have been spent doing something useful)
-Was forced to spend hundreds of dollars on utterly worthless classes (intro to geography, "world literature", etc etc)

I left college with depressed, angry, and thoroughly disillusioned with the educational system. A single day of BJJ (which I know practice) was worth more than months of college. And this is coming from a guy who was successful with women and at times had a good social life/circles of friends.

By the way I can't blame college for all the mistakes I made -- I take one hundred percent responsibility for being a dumb ass and not better equipping myself for the real world. I didn't take my life seriously enough and paid the price for it.

But I can also say that life after graduation was way better. Even when my job sucks, at least it pays me money that I actually earned. I've met drastically more mature and interesting people. I've found that my whole outlook towards life and my own person is dramatically better than it was when I was on college. People who peaked in college are losers plain and simple.

[a beer is enough]

Lots of outstanding insight on this thread after my response, really talks to the nature of the kinds of outstanding minds we have on this forum.

RDF:

You have no idea how much your post actually lit up my entire day and lightened the mood of this thread, you've posted great insights elsewhere on the forum too which I am a huge fan of. For sure I want to pursue that kind of life in my twenties and meet some amazing people doing it. Could have just been my situation but I did not find that the floor for social life was that great in college either and I went to a pretty big school, attribute a lot of that to what my life situation was at the time (depression, family problems and a host of other things).

For sure, there is no better time to start than now I am definitely acting on some plans. One other thing I have thought about is taking up a more fun second job for the weekend and have been looking into some ideas for that. Would love to try and work myself into a situation where I have a more fun job like club promoter or bartender for the weekends, long ways off but one can plan.

Adrenaline:

Because it is awkward as hell to go out and do that shit alone, this coming from a guy who used to do it a great deal a few years ago. The experiences are just not the same and I find that most strangers at bars and nightclubs are not that welcoming to anyone rolling solo, it is easier to meet people when you are with people. That and I find that nightlife is just a bad way to meet people if you are going out alone as a guy, things might be different in Australia though, I am in the US.

Running Turtles and Bastard Sword:

As much as I would love to agree with you guys and I sure as hell would given how badly I missed out on college, there are just some parts of it that are tough to ignore. You are on your own at an age with lots of people the same age as you going through a lot of the same things. As others mentioned on the thread, just that opportunity you have to be around thousands of others like you who are single and not as tied down to something is special in itself.

As for the STEM thing, I actually know of lots of people that majored in business, finance, marketing and non-STEM majors who are doing just fine after college.

It is just that feeling of being around a lot of people your age with no strict authority like you had in high school. Now from my experience it came with some real strict social politics and popularity contests far more severe than those in high school but still, the logistics were on point. I still cannot help but envy the guys who figured it out and cashed out hard on the social experience of their college years.

Maybe parts of big cities can rival something like that, I know NYC has similar parts to it and perhaps as time goes on and people put off marriage, the fun keeps going on. As much as I hated my college experience, I cannot help but think that I missed out on something special but past is past.

Still burns a bit but that burn has started a fire that has driven me to improving my life and working towards a fun twenties.

[Graft]

The bad news

If you really do college right, large party school, top fraternity, etc, your social life will get worse post college and stay worse. A summary of large state school Greek life:

1. Live in a mansion with 20-40 of your boys, drink/smoke/drug nonstop
2. Every weekend, 100+ women are stumbling drunk around your bedroom in the house, all 18-22 and mostly hot.
3. You have built in status that even rich guys can't compete with (most hot college girls will go with a top guy at their school). Top shelf women are competing for an LTR with you.
4. You have a great metabolism to burn off shitty food/beer, youthful looks, no balding, etc.

The good news
1. In OP's case, he didn't seem to experience this in college, so he is not automatically going downhill.
2. You start making money, now you can take baller international trips, drive cool cars, live someplace besides slob frat house.
3. Your brain develops, you become more socially aware, you start to realize the consequences of getting blackout drunk every weekend, you become more responsible.

The best news
Most mediocre people orbit around this lifestyle for a decade or more. They hang out with their college friends in their new city and hang out with their college girls until these 22-24 year olds realize their SMV can land them better than a washed up frat guy. They drink and smoke like they were still in college, but they stop hitting the gym, they get beer guts, balding, and are a shell of themselves 5 years out at approx age 27. They then continue to orbit their college girls, begging them to choose them over the multitude of new options these girls have, trying their best to pitch their status in college as their value prop. They watch college sports games together and mentally do not leave this place for years and years.

I had an excellent college experience, but once I got that dreaded feeling that I peaked in college, I made sure that:

1. I exercised/dieted more to combat my declining metabolism. I'm now in way better shape.
2. I left behind people that couldn't mentally leave where we were 10 years ago, replaced them with people who were focused on the present and future.
3. Worked hard and got a top career so I could buy things I've never dreamed of.
4. Dropped binge drinking and became more socially astute-I no longer make dumb errors which cost me social points in college.
5. Made sure to culture myself with international trips, books, museums, news, etc. Became much more intelligent and world savvy.
6. Made a few close, meaningful friends. In college, everyone was friends because we were in the same fraternity and got drunk together. I never really felt a deep bond with any of them and none of them really knew my backstory and what made me as a person.

I have no problem admitting that my social life peaked in college-the circumstances were too good to beat, but I am comfortable saying that because I've surpassed multiple personal milestones. I now believe that I am peaking now.