[the1element]

pussied out. started talking to other girls and then before I knew it. The girl was gone.

Ive seen her around before tho.

Ill catch her next time.

[xxx]

^ Are you approaching women at around your same level of attractiveness?

If they are, you shouldn't pussy out. Whenever that happens it's likely that deep down, your body knows you're shooting too high.

Interactions with people on the same level should be effortless and non stress inducing.

[the1element]

About the same, really just approaching women i can feel my sexual energy drawn towwrds.

Also, girl approached me and asked about my camera. Got her to take part of my photo project.

Just having a camera is a pretty good way for girls to approach you. My camera is a big heavy thing, looks very professional.

[ksbms]

At the end of the day, either you fuck or you don't. And you better realize it fast before another guy gets the snatch you laid your eyes on.

https://krauserpua.com/2013/05/01/reflec...on-daygame

"All men build buffers around themselves to flatter their self esteem and avoid rejection. Every single one of us, myself included. Root them out. Figure out how you are fooling yourself. The easiest single step is to go out into the street and open ten girls. Welcome the responses they are giving you. The harsh blowouts and the flat zero-attraction chats are offering you far more constructive feedback than any online forum can. Compile a wealth of this information, figure out where you stand, and then make a promise to yourself that from this ground zero you will build yourself up.

Accept the reflection that stares back at you."

[the1element]

(01-07-2018 01:53 PM)ksbms Wrote:  

At the end of the day, either you fuck or you don't. And you better realize it fast before another guy gets the snatch you laid your eyes on.

https://krauserpua.com/2013/05/01/reflec...on-daygame

"All men build buffers around themselves to flatter their self esteem and avoid rejection. Every single one of us, myself included. Root them out. Figure out how you are fooling yourself. The easiest single step is to go out into the street and open ten girls. Welcome the responses they are giving you. The harsh blowouts and the flat zero-attraction chats are offering you far more constructive feedback than any online forum can. Compile a wealth of this information, figure out where you stand, and then make a promise to yourself that from this ground zero you will build yourself up.

Accept the reflection that stares back at you."

That's good and I think I'm beginning to go through the process.

Online game doesn't make you face your demons.

[xxx]

@1element You seem like a very emotional guy that cares a little too much.

I know you're an artist and so am I, but you need to really see life for what it is rather than what you want it to be.

Life will be a tragedy if you continue to view it so emotionally.

Hardship is a natural part of life; you must welcome it; be grateful to have it.

[the1element]

(01-07-2018 02:22 PM)xxx Wrote:  

@1element You seem like a very emotional guy that cares a little too much.

I know you're an artist and so am I, but you need to really see life for what it is rather than what you want it to be.

Life will be a tragedy if you continue to view it so emotionally.

Hardship is a natural part of life; you must welcome it; be grateful to have it.

So how do you see life?

[xxx]

You have to learn to shut off your emotions and view things objectively. Women are incapable of this, but you're a man, you can do it. View things without your ego, like you're just an observer, not considering what will help you or hurt you, purely abstractly.


Life is not the enemy, life is perfect, it's yourself that you're battling.

[the1element]

Still, haven't gone on Tinder.

I got the day off tomorrow, going to see if I can find some girls

[dknightbro]

I applaud and understand the good intentions of not relying on Tinder.

From my experience, only reason I see to get off Tinder is you specifically want to practice approaching game.

That's what I did so I basically ignored a stream of Tinder matches for a while and went out to the field.

Now that I've approached enough not to rely on Tinder as a crutch, I'm back on it. It feels 100x easier and no apologies as I've paid my dues in-field and I know I can hit it again and get more leads if needed.

Tinder is a lot more time-effective given my work schedule.

[the1element]

BOOM

Grabbed a number today, but before I go into how that happened I'm going to share a few outlets I've been using to get myself out of my head.

The first step has been writing, this has been a huge help in making me see where my fears are coming from and what past events in my life have influenced my current fears.

I've come to the conclusion which past events have made me fear whats out there and how my imagination twists safe circumstances into dangerous ones.

The second step has been to change the music I listen to. Normally I listen to electronic music (trance) that is very subtle and is quite high energy but it's an "inward" energy and you don't want to share it with other people. It's not an outward energy that you want to share with everyone else.

Here's an example.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KcAH5wiQp7o

Now, this is probably one of the most beautiful pieces of trance I've ever heard and it's quite energetic but it's inward energy. The type of energy that gets you mulling in your head.

Compare it to this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LyAtJXDlZZc

This shit just makes me want to rage, do whatever the fuck I want and grab life by the balls.

Listen to the lyrics.

"A man can only do his best
I'm skipping steps and I'm taking breaths
Hold your horses, cool your jets
You can't make me be finished yet"

How can you listen to those lyrics and still be STUCK in your head?

Taking it one step further, I've been watching bands perform live (like Les Savy Fav). Tim Harrington (the lead singer) goes fucking WILD, it's fucking inspiring.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wsZYpSbzXIM

Watch this.

The guy is performing in his fucking underwear, running around like a maniac. The guitars jamming the drummer going off and the singer acting like a man possessed. It's fucking great.

Pure anarchy.

After watching live performances like that you can't sit still, talking to the cute girl at the coffee shop or wherever is just part of the adventure. That's really the energy, it's life is a fucking adventure and it's fucking fun to do wild crazy shit. Anyone who thinks otherwise is a fucking loser.

Fuck em.

The third step has been to read, read books that challenge the status quo, make you think and see how life doesn't have to be so serious.

Kurt Vonnegut's Slaughter House 5 is a great book for this.

The fourth step has been to spend time in nature, exploring. Find a forest and just wander the fuck through it. I went for a walk today and it was so much fun, I saw so much interesting shit and it just made me feel terrific. An exercise I did while walking through the woods was deep breathing, inhaling the energy of the forest letting it pulsate and flow through me.

After the breathing exercise, I felt so charged up. My veins were pulsating with energy.

Now I had to SHARE it with people. Specifically girls.

I went to a local university and decided to wander through the halls, I ended up checking out the bookstore to see what kind of "brainwashing" the universities are doing to students. Of course, books on nothing but feminism and "girl power".

Then I made my way to the school pub and sat down, but my ease didn't last long before I saw a cute girl sitting at the table close to me. I picked up my stuff and walked over.

"Hey"

She responds with "Hey"

We start talking, the whole conversation was a blast. I didn't give a fuck, I just wanted to have fun and she knew this. I made fun of her for her major and how she was drinking before class.

After 15 minutes I told her that I wanted her number.

Got it.

Haven't texted her yet, I left my phone at home.

I'm really starting to see that life can be a grand adventure and all you have to do is see it as one. I've gone on a hike, met a random girl, flirted with the ladies at a clothing store I frequent, met a really cute girl at the cafe I'm writing this from and now I'm headed to another cafe to see what happens.

Lifes fun, you just have to see it as fun and get the fuck out of your head.

Also, game wise. I'm learning that when you first meet you don't need to seduce too hard. Just enough for her to want more. The 1st date (if you want to call it that) is where you can focus on seducing.

[edlefou]

A technique for weaning yourself off of Tinder without going cold turkey is to delete the app and login on your laptop (credit to Mr. Remi for this tip).

Then, later on, you stop using it on your laptop or block it or whatever.

[the1element]

(01-09-2018 10:50 PM)edlefou Wrote:  

A technique for weaning yourself off of Tinder without going cold turkey is to delete the app and login on your laptop (credit to Mr. Remi for this tip).

Then, later on, you stop using it on your laptop or block it or whatever.

haven't used it since my last screwup which was I think 5-6 days ago?

Don't miss it.

Meeting girls in real-life is too much fun.

Speaking of meeting girls, I approached another girl shortly after the last post I did.

Nothing came of it but it was still fun.

Sadly, there was a really hot girl (just my type) with a group of 3 friends and she looked tremendously bored, I should have approached but I chickened out on that one.

[the1element]

No response from the number I got yesterday. Dang

I think, analyzing it over again I was too casual with her. I should have been more sexual with my energy. I think

[ksbms]

(01-10-2018 10:46 AM)the1element Wrote:  

No response from the number I got yesterday. Dang

I think, analyzing it over again I was too casual with her. I should have been more sexual with my energy. I think

A real indicator if the approach was good is if a girl responds to the feeler (and it still is a few miles away from getting her out on a date). Getting a number is superfluous. Many a time a girl will give it away because it was a social pressure. It's hard for her to say no as it is difficult for you to reply honestly to your host if you enjoyed the burnt, dry steak that ended up on your plate. Often it may be the case that in the moment, she felt some little butterfly in her tummy but as the emotional high dissipated hours later, she feels there was "no chemistry". One way to to make the magic potion is to ground the set - make a mental note that you should strive, if time allows for a 10-15min set, to let her learn a few interesting things about you. Even if not a single question asked, you should insert some things about you. Make them sound good, rehearse a few things that can be interesting (from a girl's perspective) but don't overdo.

[kaotic]

How did you close her number, did you suggest a meet, how was the energy ?

What did you text her with and at what time?

[the1element]

(01-10-2018 01:30 PM)ksbms Wrote:  

(01-10-2018 10:46 AM)the1element Wrote:  

No response from the number I got yesterday. Dang

I think, analyzing it over again I was too casual with her. I should have been more sexual with my energy. I think

A real indicator if the approach was good is if a girl responds to the feeler (and it still is a few miles away from getting her out on a date). Getting a number is superfluous. Many a time a girl will give it away because it was a social pressure. It's hard for her to say no as it is difficult for you to reply honestly to your host if you enjoyed the burnt, dry steak that ended up on your plate. Often it may be the case that in the moment, she felt some little butterfly in her tummy but as the emotional high dissipated hours later, she feels there was "no chemistry". One way to to make the magic potion is to ground the set - make a mental note that you should strive, if time allows for a 10-15min set, to let her learn a few interesting things about you. Even if not a single question asked, you should insert some things about you. Make them sound good, rehearse a few things that can be interesting (from a girl's perspective) but don't overdo.

(01-10-2018 01:43 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

How did you close her number, did you suggest a meet, how was the energy ?

What did you text her with and at what time?

I like the idea of rehearsing a few things about myself, I used to that when I lived in Montreal. I had a few stories I'd default to and jokes that always got a good laugh and reaction.

Numbers mean nothing lmao.

The conversation with the girl I got the number from was really light-hearted and fun, I had my camera with me and my laptop she looked at my pictures and told me she used to do photography I shared with her a story about the hike I went on earlier in the day.

So she did know SOME about me, enough that I thought I hooked her. I got her number saying "we should hangout sometime" and it was at a high-point in the convo.

I didn't have my phone with me though ( I left it at home ) so she wrote it down on a piece of paper. Then I texted her late at night when I got home and charged my phone (it was dead).

Maybe I just waited too long to text her (I told her I didn't have my phone on me tho) and she got uninterested in that time...

I texted her "hey hername its the1element. it was nice meeting u td"

I don't know man, I'm not sure what I could have done differently with this approach. Perhaps I could have gone more sexual but the environment didn't really call for that.

The only thing I can think about was I didn't really "feel" attracted to her. I only approached her because I was bored and I went for the number because the conversation was fun and I liked her personality.

Maybe she felt that.

[kaotic]

Only thing you can do at this point is try to hone and connect with her towards the end of your convo, be more direct about your intentions to meet up and grab a drink - then shoot her a text later saying "hey it's that handsome devil named Element!"

Then start the convo from there.

At this point you can try one more restart text later - or who knows maybe it was a fake number.

[the1element]

(01-10-2018 02:39 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

Only thing you can do at this point is try to hone and connect with her towards the end of your convo, be more direct about your intentions to meet up and grab a drink - then shoot her a text later saying "hey it's that handsome devil named Element!"

Then start the convo from there.

At this point you can try one more restart text later - or who knows maybe it was a fake number.

I don't think I'm going to restart text.

Next time, I'll be more direct.

I got this.

[ksbms]

The quickest and biggest return on investment is to begin audio recording yourself.

[the1element]

(01-10-2018 03:09 PM)ksbms Wrote:  

The quickest and biggest return on investment is to begin audio recording yourself.

HAHA.

I got a funny story where I tried that once (and was still learning game)

I approached this girl in the mall (I was 17 I think) and we had a solid conversation, I think I made fun of her really bright rain boots or something. I asked for her number and on my iPhone, there were huge letters saying "RECORDING" flashing across the screen.

Of course, I didn't realize this until after she gave my phone back to me.

As you can imagine, that number went nowhere.

I'll have to to do the recording thing again.

[ksbms]

I use Recordr (for Android). Fast, reliable, relevant (but not overloaded with) features, you can choose option to hide any information about recording in progress. Free version does all you need. If matched with a good omnidirectional lavalier mic properly set up the quality of recording is fantastic and publishable.

You can find more info and link to the store here: Recordr

[BadgerHut]

"All men build buffers around themselves to flatter their self esteem and avoid rejection. Every single one of us, myself included. Root them out. Figure out how you are fooling yourself."

Some solid gold right here, great find ksbms. Becoming shamelessly aware of your cognitive biases and ego mechanisms is the most important thing. Not eliminating them, but becoming aware of them, because then you can mitigate their effects which is easier than changing your core psychology. Oftentimes recognizing that you are trending into a bias is enough to give you the hook to snap out of it. It's the way gamers are taught to manage approach anxiety - recognize it simply as a feeling that happens when you talk to girls. The mindfulness people call this "objectifying" I believe.

[the1element]

Going to do some recording tonight, see where my game is fucking up.

I'm really looking forward to tonight, I'm challenging myself to take part in an open mic event at a cafe I visit.

I'm going to read some poetry.

After I'm going to talk to girls.

I want to get laid tonight, no porn, no masturbation and no sex (since last week) has made me a very horny man.

[the1element]

met a scotish girl at a cafe,

Extracted her to the bar

Tells me she hates men, fml.

Tell her i want to fuck her

Didnt go well