Don't fuck girls you work with. Only fuck them after they leave your job or you leave your job.
Post your biggest life/game lessons here
Quote: (10-05-2017 06:55 PM)Delta Wrote:
Quote: (10-03-2017 03:12 PM)Agastya Wrote:
3) Accept the process and don't get upset over your past. It happened, it shaped you, your identity wouldn't exist without it. No matter what fucked up shit you did in your past/someone did to you, it's happened to someone else, and probably worse. None of your problems are that unique.
I don't know if this is just me or not, but sometimes I lie awake at night cringing about the idiotic stuff I've done in the past: humiliating social miscues, terrible decisions, times my emotions got the best of me, etc. It's a very distressing feeling thinking about my past blunders and how they must shape people's perceptions of me.
However, there's a massive silver lining in all of that: If you realize now the idiocy of some of your past behavior, then that's a sign that you're an improved person. You know better now than you did back then. And if you're an improved person, then that means your life should improve accordingly.
This is one of the most profound and comforting realizations I've ever had: The more you find yourself cringing at your past, the better you're becoming.
Yeah, but at the same time there's no need to constantly beat yourself up and be hard on yourself for stuff that happened in the past. That way of thinking will get you depressed and make you feel worthless. I agree that it's good to move past your previously whack behavior, but I think the cringing is also something to get past. Almost everyone was a pathetic beta bitch at some point in their lives. I don't think a person exists on this planet who hasn't done something either fucked up or cringeworthy.
Also there's no disadvantage to travelling with women if a women happens to meet you at a place you intended on going to anyway. I went to Nepal this summer and my now girlfriend met me in Kathmandu. We had a great couple of days together. I also ended up travelling with this Indian girl who gave me a handjob in a shitty Tibetan village. My goal in going to Nepal was to see Nepal, not to deal with women, so everything worked out.
This leads me to...
10) Don't take everything you read on this site at face value. Your own personal experiences should be your main reference point. Not talking shit about anyone in particular, but any retard can throw together an article or post on a forum like this or ROK. There is plenty of value on this site, but there comes a point where your own experience should matter to you just as much as what you read here.
Game lesson:
Hate/anger/ can easily be transmuted into sex energy.
Energy can be transmuted.
I learned this by accident once.
A girl was very very upset with me, yelling at me in me face.
I had no clue what to do. I was thinking, I'm gonna have to physically restrain this woman.
For some reason I decided to just look at her in a different way and kiss her.
She seamlessly transitioned into all this sex talk and there was no more anger.
It wasn't just me that was astonished.
There was a crowd forming over the commotion and after the incident I looked around and everyone's jaws were gaped open.
If you can't get a girl to like you, try getting her to hate you. Its' probably better. Works for me.
Hate/anger/ can easily be transmuted into sex energy.
Energy can be transmuted.
I learned this by accident once.
A girl was very very upset with me, yelling at me in me face.
I had no clue what to do. I was thinking, I'm gonna have to physically restrain this woman.
For some reason I decided to just look at her in a different way and kiss her.
She seamlessly transitioned into all this sex talk and there was no more anger.
It wasn't just me that was astonished.
There was a crowd forming over the commotion and after the incident I looked around and everyone's jaws were gaped open.
If you can't get a girl to like you, try getting her to hate you. Its' probably better. Works for me.
Who cares if he didn't use the search function. His OP was very insightful.
Don't white knight for women. I know, shocker.
They are capable of the worst things, and even if they aren't or you believe they won't stoop that low, they aren't the fragile wilting flowers they would like to convince you that they are. They are fully capable of handling themselves in most situations that stop just short of full-on male-on-female violence. (Yes, they are also capable of holding their own in female-on-female violence but if that shit happens around you shut it down before someone loses an eye).
Our biggest enemy is sometimes our own impression of the fairer sex.
They are capable of the worst things, and even if they aren't or you believe they won't stoop that low, they aren't the fragile wilting flowers they would like to convince you that they are. They are fully capable of handling themselves in most situations that stop just short of full-on male-on-female violence. (Yes, they are also capable of holding their own in female-on-female violence but if that shit happens around you shut it down before someone loses an eye).
Our biggest enemy is sometimes our own impression of the fairer sex.
Quote: (10-07-2017 03:29 PM)augen sehen Wrote:
Don't white knight for women. I know, shocker.
They are capable of the worst things, and even if they aren't or you believe they won't stoop that low, they aren't the fragile wilting flowers they would like to convince you that they are. They are fully capable of handling themselves in most situations that stop just short of full-on male-on-female violence. (Yes, they are also capable of holding their own in female-on-female violence but if that shit happens around you shut it down before someone loses an eye).
Our biggest enemy is sometimes our own impression of the fairer sex.
This is true, but it's also true that not all women are shitty manipulative people who are impossible to relate to or understand. A good middle ground view of women would accept that they're just people and are capable of both good and bad. I was stuck in a mindset where I viewed women in a really bitter, antagonistic, negative light. Regardless of your level of game, this will fuck you up mentally and emotionally.
Quote: (10-04-2017 05:52 PM)christpuncher Wrote:
Interesting about #1, I suppose it depends on the amount of support given, what stings (emotional manipulation?) may be attached, and your prospects out of school...
I completely intend on giving my future sons the gift of a luxurious early adulthood. It's too good a gift not to give, come what may. I wish my parents had more money to make my life a bit easier, though they still gave what they could from time to time.
I want my sons spending highschool and university with a fly car, nice things, to have formative experiences on trips with both family and friends, no debt, and beer money. To be an impressive young man by the time he's done university.. All I want him to worry about is getting A's in highschool, B's in university, banging hot girls, making great memories, getting jacked and being healthy, and networking towards a high-end career. Fuck spending your best years (14-24) grinding it out at menial jobs, taking on debt, eating Mr noodles and having no FUN.
I figure for every spoiled rich kid who turns into a degenerate adult and goes down a dark path there's 5 boring losers who never did a damn interesting thing in their youth, never impressed anyone, and thus can never have anything except an average job and average woman, average life. Why the hell would I ever subject my kids to that if I didn't have to.
I think there comes a point in everyone's life where they take a good hard look at themselves and look at what they actually accomplished. By themselves, through their own effort. I had done plenty of cool shit by the time I was 20, but I also realized that literally all of it was funded my parents' money. I felt like I had basicallly just bought experiences when others had worked hard for them.
I was meeting guys in college who came from lower-income families. Their high schools weren't nearly as good as the one I went to. They didn't have nearly as much cash as my parents. They didn't have college counsellors who could read over their essays/apps the way I did. Many of them didn't even have stable families the way I did.
They still heavily outperformed me despite all of these disadvatanges. One of my best buddies was a Mexican dude from a fairly poor family. The guy had managed to pay his entire way through college with scholarships that he himself interviewed for and earned. He got perfect grades at his shitty high school while being a varsity wrestler. He continued wrestling in college and won some championships, joined a pretty prestigious frat, banged some absolutely beautiful women. On top of this he was just a great dude with a good social circle.
My thought process was, if this guy is doing all of this stuff despite having a fraction of the advantages in life that I had...what the fuck am I doing with my life? Why am I not more self sufficient? Why am I less capable of doing things for myself? Basically, why is this guy better than me despite coming from far less?
Basically I would just advise you to encourage your son to do more independent projects and fund his own vacations/fun time. He'll feel like he has control and ownership over his life and learn a bunch of useful shit in the process. He shouldn't be grinding his ass off but his life should never feel too easy if that makes sense.
Quote: (10-03-2017 03:12 PM)Agastya Wrote:
What it says on the title. We have a collective shit ton of general life wisdom on this forum and I think we should put it all in one place.
Here are mine:
1) Try to get independent and self sufficient as early as you can. There came a point in college where I felt completely worthless because I had basically been sponging off my parents my whole life. They had funded college, trips abroad, and sports for me. I basically felt like I was on welfare. If I could have done things over, I would have gotten internships every summer and figured out ways to make money earlier in my college career. If I had a solid amount saved up I could have controlled my own destiny without feeling overly indebted to my parents.
2) Be as honest with people as you can. I had a lot of baggage with my parents about some family problems that happened in the last four years. Last week I had it out with them (told them exactly what was bothering me, even told them about how I'd done hard drugs and how that fucked with my mind). It felt great and since then our relationship has improved. Keeping shit to yourself is emotionally extremely painful and should be avoided.
3) Accept the process and don't get upset over your past. It happened, it shaped you, your identity wouldn't exist without it. No matter what fucked up shit you did in your past/someone did to you, it's happened to someone else, and probably worse. None of your problems are that unique.
4) Accept that life just sucks ass sometimes. There was a two/three year period where I grappled with back problems, drug problems, family problems, mental health issues, and the loss of friends. Shit was honestly awful, but it had to happen for me to mature, grow up, and learn important lessons. It sucked for me because the first 18 years of my life were pretty idyllic; great upbringing, great family environment, awesome friends and community. I was plunged into a pretty negative fucked up environment (college), which sucked, but it definitely toughened me up and gave me a more realistic perspective on the world. PM me if you're going through this and need some help, I'm happy to talk.
5) Player burnout is completely normal. Some people can endlessly chase thots, I'm not one of them. A lot of people who get into game get stuck in a loop where they attach their self worth to the women they fuck. This is natural and it's equally natural to get burned out with something like game -- game is the sexual equivalent of working in a call center for years on end. I am 100% glad I got into it, but I am also 100% glad that I am in an LTR and don't currently worry about lays or approaching.
6) Fucking thots is fun, actual life accomplishments are way better. I climbed the highest mountain in North Africa, fought a professional MMA fighter at near-full intensity, started jiujitsu, travelled to six Mediterranean countries, learned the Arabic language, and trekked through the Himalayas. I ran away from an Indian rhino on foot and got a job right out of college. Game and fucking women should be a part of your life, it's easy for it to occupy an unhealthy amount of space in your brain. Life is beautiful and has a lot more to offer than western thots who would happily blow an entire frat within the space of a wekeend.
7) College is overrated as FUCK. Best four years of my life my ass. College can be four years of severe identity/existential crises, bullshit SJW classes, and complete lack of purpose for a lot of people. Are there a lot of hot girls? Sure. Does that mean you'll find great friends and generally have a good time? Maybe, but for every person who enjoys college there's another who hated it. For me it was a bit of both, some years were good, some were trash. But anyone who says it's the best four years of your life is full of shit.
8) Don't take the manosphere's views on women too seriously. I have actually had great female friends. My mom is one of my role models, I love kicking it with my sister, and I'm dating a great girl from Hong Kong who absolutely complements my life. American/western culture may have a bad effect on women, but that doesn't mean that the entire gender is completely untrustworthy and only good for casual bangs. I fell into this mindset in college and it definitely didn't help with my depression/other issues.
Disagree with #8 - always felt that I was wasting my life when talking to a girl without romantic intent, even my relatives. Their brains just seem to run in low gear.
"The unexamined life is not worth living." - Socrates
Quote: (10-06-2017 10:07 AM)Noir Wrote:
Don't fuck girls you work with. Only fuck them after they leave your job or you leave your job.
Had good luck fucking my colleagues when working as a teacher. It often did not even seem awkward afterwords - after a break up. However this was in Russia where no "sexual harassment" exists and if it did - only girls would be guilty of it for wearing low cut blouses and short skirts too often)
"The unexamined life is not worth living." - Socrates
Quote: (10-03-2017 03:12 PM)Agastya Wrote:
8) Don't take the manosphere's views on women too seriously. I have actually had great female friends. My mom is one of my role models, I love kicking it with my sister, and I'm dating a great girl from Hong Kong who absolutely complements my life. American/western culture may have a bad effect on women, but that doesn't mean that the entire gender is completely untrustworthy and only good for casual bangs. I fell into this mindset in college and it definitely didn't help with my depression/other issues.
No woman can be trusted like you can trust your father or your best friend; not even your mother. She may love you more than she loves herself but it's still not enough for you to trust her. Women have little love to give because their love for themselves is chronically low; they are all naturally weak and insecure, and need the love of a man to be decent human beings; otherwise producing self loathing and destructive behavior.
Love as we understand it is a masculine concept, just like friendship is. Conventional wisdom says that a mother's love for her child has no rival, but that's a misconception. They may indeed love their child more than they love themselves, but that love is not comparable to the way a man can love - it's not even close.
Understanding this made me love women again; they are truly like children; children whose purpose is to manage your life like secretaries and keep you in the right direction; of course some are naughty and misbehaved, but unlike children you can abandon them and pick the ones you like...
In the end it is you that has to generate the love - your self love is the driver of the relationship. Men have a need to love, and in my opinion, loving is much more rewarding than being loved.
Man I have tons and I'm always learning all the time. Here are a couple regarding game/women/life.
-Never take yourself or anything in life too seriously. Relax.
-If someone close to you dies, there is nothing you can do about it. Honor their death by keeping on living life to the last drop.
-Never go back to a bitch.
-There are almost 4 billion women on earth.
-Always strive to do something meaningful for yourself and appreciate beauty where ever you can find it.
-Never take yourself or anything in life too seriously. Relax.
-If someone close to you dies, there is nothing you can do about it. Honor their death by keeping on living life to the last drop.
-Never go back to a bitch.
-There are almost 4 billion women on earth.
-Always strive to do something meaningful for yourself and appreciate beauty where ever you can find it.
Biggest lesson for me: I worried way too much in the past.
For many years, I worried I would lose my hair.
I worried my game niche in France would soon be discovered by the masses.
I worried my bags could be stolen at airport arrival while waiting for my visa on arrival.
That's all bullshit. Most often, worries never became real.
For many years, I worried I would lose my hair.
I worried my game niche in France would soon be discovered by the masses.
I worried my bags could be stolen at airport arrival while waiting for my visa on arrival.
That's all bullshit. Most often, worries never became real.
Quote: (10-06-2017 04:13 PM)Agastya Wrote:
10) Don't take everything you read on this site at face value. Your own personal experiences should be your main reference point. Not talking shit about anyone in particular, but any retard can throw together an article or post on a forum like this or ROK. There is plenty of value on this site, but there comes a point where your own experience should matter to you just as much as what you read here.
Expanding on this, know the difference between a member genuinely speaking from experience and a useless keyboard warrior saying whatever he thinks will make him fit in. The guy with actual life experience provides original, nuanced insight. The useless keyboard warrior parrots the general beliefs of the forum in an overly exaggerated and simplistic way.
The more you hear someone repeat that all western women are hos and that our society is full of limp-wristed beta liberal cuck faggots, the more you should tune him out.
Quote: (10-09-2017 06:22 PM)Delta Wrote:
Quote: (10-06-2017 04:13 PM)Agastya Wrote:
10) Don't take everything you read on this site at face value. Your own personal experiences should be your main reference point. Not talking shit about anyone in particular, but any retard can throw together an article or post on a forum like this or ROK. There is plenty of value on this site, but there comes a point where your own experience should matter to you just as much as what you read here.
Expanding on this, know the difference between a member genuinely speaking from experience and a useless keyboard warrior saying whatever he thinks will make him fit in. The guy with actual life experience provides original, nuanced insight. The useless keyboard warrior parrots the general beliefs of the forum in an overly exaggerated and simplistic way.
The more you hear someone repeat that all western women are hos and that our society is full of limp-wristed beta liberal cuck faggots, the more you should tune him out.
You're getting a rep point for this. This forum is a good place but it isn't the Oracle of Delphi. To be completely honest, I've found some manosphere ideas to be completely untrue in the context of my own life. I actually have met women who I could rationally talk to. I have had female friends who had my back when my male friends didn't. The manosphere is a good resource but forum posts should almost never be taken as the gospel truth. Your own life experience comes first by a massive margin.
^Agreed, there's an inherent bias in the fact that most members are active posters for only a year or two if that, typically during the height of their disillusionment with women. While I think there's a grain of truth in just about every belief postulated here, things are bound to get amplified in a community like this.
11) Drugs will accentuate whatever's going on with you internally. In college I'd have a great time smoking weed but my internal insecurities also made me feel anxiety whenever I got high. Basically I'd have half an hour of fun then feel super anxious and unhappy afterward. Now that I've worked through the things that bothered me I've noticed that weed just gives me a generally pleasant effect. It wasn't the drugs fucking with my head, it was my own actions and unresolved issues that were making me depressed/anxious at the time.
I've met a couple people who felt like drugs were driving them crazy. I agree that weed and psychadelics can make a bad mental state worse, but they still have their place -- smoking weed occasionally just makes my life significantly more enjoyable. Smoking a bowl for me is like eating a really nice meal.
I've met a couple people who felt like drugs were driving them crazy. I agree that weed and psychadelics can make a bad mental state worse, but they still have their place -- smoking weed occasionally just makes my life significantly more enjoyable. Smoking a bowl for me is like eating a really nice meal.
Quote: (10-09-2017 06:22 PM)Delta Wrote:
Expanding on this, know the difference between a member genuinely speaking from experience and a useless keyboard warrior saying whatever he thinks will make him fit in. The guy with actual life experience provides original, nuanced insight. The useless keyboard warrior parrots the general beliefs of the forum in an overly exaggerated and simplistic way.
The more you hear someone repeat that all western women are hos and that our society is full of limp-wristed beta liberal cuck faggots, the more you should tune him out.
Quoted for truth. 'Striking' posting three posts up from you* talking about how you "shouldn't trust your own mother", and that "women have little love to give" is a great example of that. A lot of posters in the manosphere seem to either be trying way too hard or to have deep mental issues.
A lot of posters are also experienced, intelligent guys who can add a lot of value to your life. But its important to learn to read between the lines to tell the difference.
*thread-65091-post-1661578.html#pid1661578
Quote: (10-05-2017 06:55 PM)Delta Wrote:
Quote: (10-03-2017 03:12 PM)Agastya Wrote:
3) Accept the process and don't get upset over your past. It happened, it shaped you, your identity wouldn't exist without it. No matter what fucked up shit you did in your past/someone did to you, it's happened to someone else, and probably worse. None of your problems are that unique.
I don't know if this is just me or not, but sometimes I lie awake at night cringing about the idiotic stuff I've done in the past: humiliating social miscues, terrible decisions, times my emotions got the best of me, etc. It's a very distressing feeling thinking about my past blunders and how they must shape people's perceptions of me.
However, there's a massive silver lining in all of that: If you realize now the idiocy of some of your past behavior, then that's a sign that you're an improved person. You know better now than you did back then. And if you're an improved person, then that means your life should improve accordingly.
This is one of the most profound and comforting realizations I've ever had: The more you find yourself cringing at your past, the better you're becoming.
I'm very much the same way, have a hard time getting over mistakes of my past (even distant past) or even thinking about them without cringing in shame. I'm trying to get to your point but am not there yet. It's hard when some of the consequences are still with you.
Quote: (10-09-2017 02:16 PM)Selembao Wrote:
Biggest lesson for me: I worried way too much in the past.
For many years, I worried I would lose my hair.
I worried my game niche in France would soon be discovered by the masses.
I worried my bags could be stolen at airport arrival while waiting for my visa on arrival.
That's all bullshit. Most often, worries never became real.
Big time. Don't be stupid with risk, but most anxieties are irrational.
I think back on phases of my life that today, I consider really positive rewarding periods, and I remember that in the moment, I was anxious, worried about shit that never came to pass, or bummed about it not being what I had wanted/expected. I always think how "if I could have shut the fuck up and enjoyed it it would have been even better" but I struggle doing that every time.
Don't listen to people give career advise. Seriously, what the hell do they know? You're going to do a 9 to 5 at some job for the rest of your life because of them? Nope. Go into STEM only if you're really into it. Go to college if you're interested in really learning. Sadly college is not going to teach you everything you need to be successful in life. But you can sure as Hell take some business courses, language courses, travel a bit, get some social connections, etc. A good thing about a general liberal arts education is you can take some classes that don't relate to your major.
Would also advise dudes to learn some marketable skill that they could use for a job: Web design, programming, a lanaguage, photoshop/indesign, drafting, bar-tending, or a trade. No shortage of these sort of job. Also comes in handy when traveling.
Would also advise dudes to learn some marketable skill that they could use for a job: Web design, programming, a lanaguage, photoshop/indesign, drafting, bar-tending, or a trade. No shortage of these sort of job. Also comes in handy when traveling.
My biggest lesson is that game is just like anything that requires practice. Whether it's a golf swing, your bench press, your ability to speak a language, or run 10 miles, it is a perishable skill that will degrade without practice. It requires focus, persistence, and work if you want to develop it.
When the time comes when you need it, if you haven't practiced and maintained the skill, you likely won't succeed. If you lifted 300 pounds 3 years ago, but haven't done anything since, then it's probably not going to happen again without practice. If you could approach chicks without batting an eye 3 years ago, but haven't approached since then and try again, you'll crash and burn. With that said, just like hitting the gym again or practicing at the golf range, it's something that can be rebuilt.
Added to that is that 'game' does not end in a relationship. If anything, it's amplified.
When the time comes when you need it, if you haven't practiced and maintained the skill, you likely won't succeed. If you lifted 300 pounds 3 years ago, but haven't done anything since, then it's probably not going to happen again without practice. If you could approach chicks without batting an eye 3 years ago, but haven't approached since then and try again, you'll crash and burn. With that said, just like hitting the gym again or practicing at the golf range, it's something that can be rebuilt.
Added to that is that 'game' does not end in a relationship. If anything, it's amplified.
'Logic Over Emotion Since 2013'
'Always have a plan B, better C, D, E...'
Agreed. Options, Options, Options.
Taleb 'Antifragile' is recommended on this.
Agreed. Options, Options, Options.
Taleb 'Antifragile' is recommended on this.
Time is the one thing you can never get more of once it's spent.
Looks fade.
Power makes all things possible in some fashion or another.
Your one job in life is to die. You might not get a choice to be born but until you're dead anything you d is on you. Your decision. Don't be a sheep, be a wolf.
A secret can be kept by one person...not two.
Bitches play games. Play your game on your terrain, not theirs.
Looks fade.
Power makes all things possible in some fashion or another.
Your one job in life is to die. You might not get a choice to be born but until you're dead anything you d is on you. Your decision. Don't be a sheep, be a wolf.
A secret can be kept by one person...not two.
Bitches play games. Play your game on your terrain, not theirs.
Your emotions towards something don't mean anything. World doesn't care whether you want or like or hate something. If you don't like something you may change it or accept it. Anything other is just torturing youself.
- There are foundamentals to game which are true for all. Some of which include: kino, negging, self improvement etc...But to perfect your game and to build congruence one must experience failure, rejections. Its those times which you learn the most about what you can approve upon. Experience > reading game advice.
-The best game praticioners have been rejected the most.
-The best game praticioners have been rejected the most.
Please don't like my posts or rep me. I do not wish to be judged by how many rep points and/or likes I have.
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