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Post your biggest life/game lessons here - Agastya - 10-03-2017
What it says on the title. We have a collective shit ton of general life wisdom on this forum and I think we should put it all in one place.
Here are mine:
1) Try to get independent and self sufficient as early as you can. There came a point in college where I felt completely worthless because I had basically been sponging off my parents my whole life. They had funded college, trips abroad, and sports for me. I basically felt like I was on welfare. If I could have done things over, I would have gotten internships every summer and figured out ways to make money earlier in my college career. If I had a solid amount saved up I could have controlled my own destiny without feeling overly indebted to my parents.
2) Be as honest with people as you can. I had a lot of baggage with my parents about some family problems that happened in the last four years. Last week I had it out with them (told them exactly what was bothering me, even told them about how I'd done hard drugs and how that fucked with my mind). It felt great and since then our relationship has improved. Keeping shit to yourself is emotionally extremely painful and should be avoided.
3) Accept the process and don't get upset over your past. It happened, it shaped you, your identity wouldn't exist without it. No matter what fucked up shit you did in your past/someone did to you, it's happened to someone else, and probably worse. None of your problems are that unique.
4) Accept that life just sucks ass sometimes. There was a two/three year period where I grappled with back problems, drug problems, family problems, mental health issues, and the loss of friends. Shit was honestly awful, but it had to happen for me to mature, grow up, and learn important lessons. It sucked for me because the first 18 years of my life were pretty idyllic; great upbringing, great family environment, awesome friends and community. I was plunged into a pretty negative fucked up environment (college), which sucked, but it definitely toughened me up and gave me a more realistic perspective on the world. PM me if you're going through this and need some help, I'm happy to talk.
5) Player burnout is completely normal. Some people can endlessly chase thots, I'm not one of them. A lot of people who get into game get stuck in a loop where they attach their self worth to the women they fuck. This is natural and it's equally natural to get burned out with something like game -- game is the sexual equivalent of working in a call center for years on end. I am 100% glad I got into it, but I am also 100% glad that I am in an LTR and don't currently worry about lays or approaching.
6) Fucking thots is fun, actual life accomplishments are way better. I climbed the highest mountain in North Africa, fought a professional MMA fighter at near-full intensity, started jiujitsu, travelled to six Mediterranean countries, learned the Arabic language, and trekked through the Himalayas. I ran away from an Indian rhino on foot and got a job right out of college. Game and fucking women should be a part of your life, it's easy for it to occupy an unhealthy amount of space in your brain. Life is beautiful and has a lot more to offer than western thots who would happily blow an entire frat within the space of a wekeend.
7) College is overrated as FUCK. Best four years of my life my ass. College can be four years of severe identity/existential crises, bullshit SJW classes, and complete lack of purpose for a lot of people. Are there a lot of hot girls? Sure. Does that mean you'll find great friends and generally have a good time? Maybe, but for every person who enjoys college there's another who hated it. For me it was a bit of both, some years were good, some were trash. But anyone who says it's the best four years of your life is full of shit.
8) Don't take the manosphere's views on women too seriously. I have actually had great female friends. My mom is one of my role models, I love kicking it with my sister, and I'm dating a great girl from Hong Kong who absolutely complements my life. American/western culture may have a bad effect on women, but that doesn't mean that the entire gender is completely untrustworthy and only good for casual bangs. I fell into this mindset in college and it definitely didn't help with my depression/other issues.
Post your biggest life/game lessons here - MaceTyrell - 10-03-2017
Great post. I especially love #7 - my college experience with women was absurd BS, and I'm still undoing the damage from it.
Post your biggest life/game lessons here - LINUX - 10-03-2017
thread-52398...74290.html
Post your biggest life/game lessons here - bgbusiness - 10-03-2017
I would say that my biggest lesson in life is that "nobody really gives a fuck about you except yourself."
Sure, people can say, "Hit me up, I got your back." or "I am your bro for life.", but it's all just verbal contracts and you can't really enforce them at the end of the day.
It's just social capital or social currency that people build, but can't be explicitly enforced like a business contract.
It was a very hard idea or pill to swallow, but it's the cold harsh truth.
Post your biggest life/game lessons here - Palo_alto - 10-03-2017
A great lesson I learned is to use the search engine before posting
Post your biggest life/game lessons here - spydersuit - 10-03-2017
Quote: (10-03-2017 03:12 PM)Agastya Wrote:
What it says on the title. We have a collective shit ton of general life wisdom on this forum and I think we should put it all in one place.
Here are mine:
1) Try to get independent and self sufficient as early as you can. There came a point in college where I felt completely worthless because I had basically been sponging off my parents my whole life. They had funded college, trips abroad, and sports for me. I basically felt like I was on welfare. If I could have done things over, I would have gotten internships every summer and figured out ways to make money earlier in my college career. If I had a solid amount saved up I could have controlled my own destiny without feeling overly indebted to my parents.
I agree. I left my parents house when I was 16.
2) Be as honest with people as you can. I had a lot of baggage with my parents about some family problems that happened in the last four years. Last week I had it out with them (told them exactly what was bothering me, even told them about how I'd done hard drugs and how that fucked with my mind). It felt great and since then our relationship has improved. Keeping shit to yourself is emotionally extremely painful and should be avoided.
3) Accept the process and don't get upset over your past. It happened, it shaped you, your identity wouldn't exist without it. No matter what fucked up shit you did in your past/someone did to you, it's happened to someone else, and probably worse. None of your problems are that unique.
4) Accept that life just sucks ass sometimes. There was a two/three year period where I grappled with back problems, drug problems, family problems, mental health issues, and the loss of friends. Shit was honestly awful, but it had to happen for me to mature, grow up, and learn important lessons. It sucked for me because the first 18 years of my life were pretty idyllic; great upbringing, great family environment, awesome friends and community. I was plunged into a pretty negative fucked up environment (college), which sucked, but it definitely toughened me up and gave me a more realistic perspective on the world. PM me if you're going through this and need some help, I'm happy to talk.
I grew up in the opposite environment. I would hardly call college a negative environment compared to being poor as a child. I loved college.
5) Player burnout is completely normal. Some people can endlessly chase thots, I'm not one of them. A lot of people who get into game get stuck in a loop where they attach their self worth to the women they fuck. This is natural and it's equally natural to get burned out with something like game -- game is the sexual equivalent of working in a call center for years on end. I am 100% glad I got into it, but I am also 100% glad that I am in an LTR and don't currently worry about lays or approaching.
Player burnout. Not sure that I can relate here. I am married and I still love the game.
6) Fucking thots is fun, actual life accomplishments are way better. I climbed the highest mountain in North Africa, fought a professional MMA fighter at near-full intensity, started jiujitsu, travelled to six Mediterranean countries, learned the Arabic language, and trekked through the Himalayas. I ran away from an Indian rhino on foot and got a job right out of college. Game and fucking women should be a part of your life, it's easy for it to occupy an unhealthy amount of space in your brain. Life is beautiful and has a lot more to offer than western thots who would happily blow an entire frat within the space of a wekeend.
Why can't you have both?
7) College is overrated as FUCK. Best four years of my life my ass. College can be four years of severe identity/existential crises, bullshit SJW classes, and complete lack of purpose for a lot of people. Are there a lot of hot girls? Sure. Does that mean you'll find great friends and generally have a good time? Maybe, but for every person who enjoys college there's another who hated it. For me it was a bit of both, some years were good, some were trash. But anyone who says it's the best four years of your life is full of shit.
College is what you make of it. College is not a vacation. It's a place to educated. If you spend all your time fucking off (including chasing tail), then you will likely not have much to show for it. Any person that can summarize 4-5 years of life in 1 sentence should be ignored and is likely an idiot.
8) Don't take the manosphere's views on women too seriously. I have actually had great female friends. My mom is one of my role models, I love kicking it with my sister, and I'm dating a great girl from Hong Kong who absolutely complements my life. American/western culture may have a bad effect on women, but that doesn't mean that the entire gender is completely untrustworthy and only good for casual bangs. I fell into this mindset in college and it definitely didn't help with my depression/other issues.
A woman is only good as her options and the statistics on marriage don't lie. Yes, I agree, there are good women out there.
Does your girlfriend allow you to go bang other women? If not, she is not as understanding as you think she is.
Post your biggest life/game lessons here - spydersuit - 10-03-2017
Quote: (10-03-2017 04:02 PM)LINUX Wrote:
thread-52398...74290.html
awesome.
AIRBORNE!
Post your biggest life/game lessons here - yankeetravels - 10-04-2017
Quote: (10-03-2017 03:12 PM)Agastya Wrote:
1) Try to get independent and self sufficient as early as you can. There came a point in college where I felt completely worthless because I had basically been sponging off my parents my whole life. They had funded college, trips abroad, and sports for me. I basically felt like I was on welfare. If I could have done things over, I would have gotten internships every summer and figured out ways to make money earlier in my college career. If I had a solid amount saved up I could have controlled my own destiny without feeling overly indebted to my parents.
5) Player burnout is completely normal. Some people can endlessly chase thots, I'm not one of them. A lot of people who get into game get stuck in a loop where they attach their self worth to the women they fuck. This is natural and it's equally natural to get burned out with something like game -- game is the sexual equivalent of working in a call center for years on end. I am 100% glad I got into it, but I am also 100% glad that I am in an LTR and don't currently worry about lays or approaching.
6) Fucking thots is fun, actual life accomplishments are way better. I climbed the highest mountain in North Africa, fought a professional MMA fighter at near-full intensity, started jiujitsu, travelled to six Mediterranean countries, learned the Arabic language, and trekked through the Himalayas. I ran away from an Indian rhino on foot and got a job right out of college. Game and fucking women should be a part of your life, it's easy for it to occupy an unhealthy amount of space in your brain. Life is beautiful and has a lot more to offer than western thots who would happily blow an entire frat within the space of a wekeend.
7) College is overrated as FUCK. Best four years of my life my ass. College can be four years of severe identity/existential crises, bullshit SJW classes, and complete lack of purpose for a lot of people. Are there a lot of hot girls? Sure. Does that mean you'll find great friends and generally have a good time? Maybe, but for every person who enjoys college there's another who hated it. For me it was a bit of both, some years were good, some were trash. But anyone who says it's the best four years of your life is full of shit.
The ones I quoted are definitely the ones I relate most to. For #1, I'm still a guy fresh out of college that came back from a few months abroad now looking for a job. I have freedom but you can't help but feel like a burden to your parents at times, plus mine are the type always on my back about where I'm going when I leave the house.
I agree about fucking thots to an extent. I had a bit of burnout on thots after a few weeks in Manila so I went with settling down with my favorite girl because I got lazy and actually had a great time every time I hung out with that particular girl. However, after a while, the need grows back, I think it's more about making sure there's either space in between or you're getting some kind of action. This is why I think most of us agree on #6 but if the need is not being fulfilled, it dwells on you and turns on the scarcity mindset, coming from someone that deals with drastic change from Asia to America that basically no one in my personal life understands.
As for college, I 100% agree in my case. It was not my worst 4 years (middle school and high school were definitely worse) but not my best either. First two years were basically spent as a commuter at a community college while working a near full-time job so no real memories there. Last two years in a university I had a pretty easy major so I went through classes on about 10% effort mostly getting high, being an alcoholic, gambling on poker/sports, and in a LTR or two. They were not bad years by any means, but I still viewed it as just a larger bubble from the real world than high school, so I wanted more and didn't think a lot of people on my campus knew what it'd be like to see the world. It was weird, I didn't mind campus life because it taught me the basics of being independent, but I always thought there were bigger things than it, while everyone around me seemed so contempt and thought it was the best place to be. I guess I just had a bigger vision even back then.
Best time of my life was without a doubt my time in the Philippines. They say college will be your best four years? Those people have never partied and dated in SEA. It is something else and honestly, I felt like I got redemption from maybe being underwhelmed by college. Philippines was basically my dream come true college experience that I will never forget and changed everything for me on how I view girls, relationships, sex, and potential marriage.
If I can add my own lesson in here, one big thing I've learned is that you can easily be hated for being open about a hard truth on anything. I've had tests over the last year or two on whether I want to avoid making waves or being open about my beliefs/opinions and being disliked for them. Sometimes it can get to me but I have learned to have a bigger skin about it if I feel like I'm right and back it up well enough.
Post your biggest life/game lessons here - Nordwand - 10-04-2017
It can take a while to hone this one, however:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0hnhvWKMqm4
Trust your instincts.
Post your biggest life/game lessons here - Chris Brown - 10-04-2017
Looks. Money. Status.
Post your biggest life/game lessons here - The Stronger Sex - 10-04-2017
The thing about fucking, it should be exhilarating. if you're too Rain Man about it, it becomes a 9-5, and where is the fun in that?
Post your biggest life/game lessons here - Agastya - 10-04-2017
9) If you live in America, any kind of racial insecurity is normal. It's just the way things are in this society, it was built on the concept of race. White people get shit on by the media/liberal establishment, Indians and Asians get shit on by the incompatibility of their cultures with modern western culture, Middle Easterners get shit on due to terrorist stereotypes, black people get shit on due to stereotypes that have existed for hundreds of years. It happens to everyone in some form. I've said racist shit, I've experienced racist shit. It's a part of life (though unfortunate). The trauma and anger from dealing with this aspect of our culture is very real, there's no shame in feeling it regardless of your color.
I can only give advice to minorities (Indians in particular). I grew up in a super Indian area in the states but I never really developed a healthy image over it. Indians were widely viewed as being beat and having a shitty culture (this came from people of every race fwiw, including our own) and a lot of us internalized this.
This was made worse by the family trips we'd take back to India. I'm 21 and back in the early 2000's when I was a kid, India's big cities were probably some of the worst places on the planet. Just utterly and unforgivably disgusting. People pissing and shitting everywhere, disgusting crumbling buildings, garbage everywhere, animals everywhere, too many people, awful climate, just an overall ugly and vile place. As a kid I only ever went to two cities in India. Both were in South India -- terrible climate and at the time, pretty ugly people if I'm being honest.
This really led me to grow up with a deep seated inferiority complex -- I just started to associate anything Indian with ugliness and negativity. I'm only starting to get out of it now, and I think there was one thing that really helped me get over this complex...
TRAVEL.
I travelled back to India this summer. I didn't just stick to shithole cities. I went to the historic parts of Delhi, saw beautiful architecture, saw a lot of attractive girls (descended from the Mughals who used to rule the city). I went to the region of Ladakh -- stunning Himalayan natural beauty. I went to Nepal -- more gorgeous mountain scenery, really friendly people, and best of all -- they shared my ancestral culture. Seeing Hinduism in the context of beautiful mountains, chill people, and awesome architecture really helped me overcome the negative connotations I associated with my culture.
Even going to the Middle East helped. I saw brown dudes who looked a lot like me getting jacked as fuck, doing MMA, generally being hard people. I saw dark brown Arab/North African dudes with gorgeous women. I had never really seen anything like this. There are plenty of Indians/browns in the states getting laid but it's not really something you see walking around. Indians/browns are rarely associated with high status or anything cool in the states -- partially their own fault but still.
Basically, if you have a race insecurity, go to a place where you see people who look like you killing it in the area that you're insecure about.
Post your biggest life/game lessons here - The Stronger Sex - 10-04-2017
Well, the stereotype applies to Indians rather than "browns" in general, maybe because so many Indians in western countries are thirsty IT nerds.
Post your biggest life/game lessons here - DonnyGately - 10-04-2017
It's only money, you can always get more of it.
Girls are like buses and elevators, another one is coming by very shortly.
Time lost is never found again.
Post your biggest life/game lessons here - christpuncher - 10-04-2017
Interesting about #1, I suppose it depends on the amount of support given, what stings (emotional manipulation?) may be attached, and your prospects out of school...
I completely intend on giving my future sons the gift of a luxurious early adulthood. It's too good a gift not to give, come what may. I wish my parents had more money to make my life a bit easier, though they still gave what they could from time to time.
I want my sons spending highschool and university with a fly car, nice things, to have formative experiences on trips with both family and friends, no debt, and beer money. To be an impressive young man by the time he's done university.. All I want him to worry about is getting A's in highschool, B's in university, banging hot girls, making great memories, getting jacked and being healthy, and networking towards a high-end career. Fuck spending your best years (14-24) grinding it out at menial jobs, taking on debt, eating Mr noodles and having no FUN.
I figure for every spoiled rich kid who turns into a degenerate adult and goes down a dark path there's 5 boring losers who never did a damn interesting thing in their youth, never impressed anyone, and thus can never have anything except an average job and average woman, average life. Why the hell would I ever subject my kids to that if I didn't have to.
Post your biggest life/game lessons here - Rush87 - 10-04-2017
Delete.
Post your biggest life/game lessons here - MajorStyles - 10-04-2017
When you put your head on the pillow at night, ask yourself, "Did I make the most out of this day?" Your answer should always be "Yes!"
I developed that question myself, after almost dying during a heart surgery.
Post your biggest life/game lessons here - Hypno - 10-05-2017
The moment you realize that when someone criticizes or attacks you it says more about how they feel about themselves than what is true about you, is the moment that you do not need to react to their criticism.
Post your biggest life/game lessons here - Delta - 10-05-2017
Quote: (10-03-2017 03:12 PM)Agastya Wrote:
3) Accept the process and don't get upset over your past. It happened, it shaped you, your identity wouldn't exist without it. No matter what fucked up shit you did in your past/someone did to you, it's happened to someone else, and probably worse. None of your problems are that unique.
I don't know if this is just me or not, but sometimes I lie awake at night cringing about the idiotic stuff I've done in the past: humiliating social miscues, terrible decisions, times my emotions got the best of me, etc. It's a very distressing feeling thinking about my past blunders and how they must shape people's perceptions of me.
However, there's a massive silver lining in all of that: If you realize now the idiocy of some of your past behavior, then that's a sign that you're an improved person. You know better now than you did back then. And if you're an improved person, then that means your life should improve accordingly.
This is one of the most profound and comforting realizations I've ever had: The more you find yourself cringing at your past, the better you're becoming.
Post your biggest life/game lessons here - Mikestar - 10-05-2017
I think one of the biggest game-related but also life related lessons i've learnt is to always have a plan B and even better C, D, E etc. I have a blue pilled friend who gets gets upset when he gets flaked on and panics - when the same happens to me I don't stress and try to look for alternatives. This is not only for scenarios with girls but for example when you expect any event to go your way and it doesn't occur (that's life) you can easily eliminate worries because you know you have a backup plan.
Post your biggest life/game lessons here - Cortez - 10-05-2017
Never mess with married women. I almost got killed over it.
Post your biggest life/game lessons here - Nordwand - 10-06-2017
Quote: (10-05-2017 09:32 PM)Cortez Wrote:
Never mess with married women. I almost got killed over it.
+1. No-one ever listens to me on this, and when I relate the story of a friend, who got a close look at a 12 gauge when we were in our youth, I get dismissed out of hand.
Post your biggest life/game lessons here - superozzy - 10-06-2017
Quote: (10-03-2017 04:20 PM)bgbusiness Wrote:
I would say that my biggest lesson in life is that "nobody really gives a fuck about you except yourself."
Sure, people can say, "Hit me up, I got your back." or "I am your bro for life.", but it's all just verbal contracts and you can't really enforce them at the end of the day.
It's just social capital or social currency that people build, but can't be explicitly enforced like a business contract.
It was a very hard idea or pill to swallow, but it's the cold harsh truth.
I work with troubled youth - and this is also what i tell them - when its all said and done no one gives 2 fucks about u except you (and maybe immediate family)
Post your biggest life/game lessons here - The Stronger Sex - 10-06-2017
Quote: (10-05-2017 09:32 PM)Cortez Wrote:
Never mess with married women. I almost got killed over it.
I try not too fuck the same married woman too many times. Get the hell out before it becomes suspect.
Post your biggest life/game lessons here - Charles Westmoreland - 10-06-2017
Speaking of travel:
1° Never ever travel to meet a woman that you just met (even if you had sex 1-2 times): She might have liked you then but hey, it was "then" so dont take the risk.
2° If you think you're the man and decide to do it anyway, at least make sure that her interest level in you is the same as the stress level of a student in the final 15 mins of an exam when he slowly realizes he won't have enough time: Off the charts. And still, that doesn't prevent her from pulling a trick
3° Have a back-up plan otherwise you may (will!) end up looking like a fool.
Speaking from (very recent) experience.
You're Welcome!