[Cpp]

I read this forum more than a year ago and had a similar situation, but I made excuses for her in my mind (it's understandable when our relationship lasted for almost a decade).

I thought I know better than the guys that post shit on the forum. She loves me, she was always loyal, she would do everything I say.

I was wrong.

Next her.

[AntiMediocrity]

Never one to let posts be unanswered;

(01-28-2017 12:56 PM)Resolute Wrote:  

But as Sensei said, she needs to RESPECT you. When you tell her there's a problem, and one that is a LEGITIMATE ONE, and she shrugs it off, you're not being respected.

You seem to think that simply moving to another country/culture is a fix all to the issues American women possess. As Roosh said, "Water takes the shape of the container it fills." When you allow this behavior, it will continue. If you were ok with that, you wouldn't be here asking for advice.

Your post was great overall Resolute, thanks for your contribution. I've omitted most of your post to avoid excessive scrolling, and you'll be pleased to know you're just re-cementing previous existing knowledge.

I haven't told my story here, but before I moved to Poland I met an incredible Polish women during my vacation. 4, in fact. Made quick friends with them in the mountains, and I fell for one hard. We started a relationship, long story short and I lived with her for 8 months. Red flags started cropping up.

-Very impatient
-Took what she want, and only gave what she was willing to give
-Loved Makeover shows, Sex in the City, Voice of Poland etc
-Couldn't save money, and bought new clothes every week
-Went out drinking with other, single friends at least once per week and got very drunk
-In between her last relationship and ours, she had slept with 25 guys over the course of 6 years and intially didn't consider it a problem until I threw logic into the works.
etc

It became apparent that my so-called Polish girlfriend was extremely westernised, probably propagated by her love for Italian culture. Either that or she was a closet Latino, haha.

Anyway I knew I hadn't come to Poland for her, and I certainly hadn't come to Poland to marry a woman who didn't fit my Polka portrait so I nipped that relationship in the bud. We're still friends because she's a great person on paper (just not marriage material unless you like drama and parties), but see/contact each other rarely. So I'm not in a place to assume all EE girls are conservative, loyal, sweet and endearing etc by any means.

Regarding respect I didn't actually voice that this guy was a problem, so in that endeavour she hasn't shrugged off a grievance. But it is disrespectful by nature to continue talking to a guy who's interested, I'll bring that up in the future rather than play him off as a non-threat.

(02-01-2017 05:23 AM)262 Wrote:  

Any girl worth her salt is going to have orbiters she's oblivious to.

What nobody has suggested yet is that you should be making it seem to her like YOU have female orbiters. You don't do this directly, that's too try-hard. You do it in a variety of indirect ways:

...

The overall idea here is to increase your value as a man, such that her orbiters pale in comparison. You'll know you're doing it right when she seems to work even harder to get your attention.

IMO a bit of reddit "red pill" in this thread, rather than RvF.

Hey man.

Yup, absolutely. That's why nexting her is jumping the gun, if you Next every girl who has a male friend that likes her, I hope you like being single.

Well, I could have female orbiters myself. They just haven't stated that have feelings for me, so I can't say for sure that I do. It's very easy to make and be friends with girls in Poland, as you may know yourself and they are often a conversation piece. Females are often reacting positively on the basis of me being an English native alone in the first place, and when I start speaking Polish, basic as it may be the reaction very apparent so just by walking around with a girl and interacting with other people plays on potential jealousy/dread.

Agree with you on the red pill comment.

[Resolute]

Thanks for the acknowledgement.

I'm under no delusions that I have any amazing insight that has never been thought of or written before. As is written in the great book of Ecclesiastes: "There is nothing new under the sun."

Still, despite these facts, I do think it's important from time to time to remind our fellow man the important truths, as even the wisest among us is prone to forget once in a while.

I do hope my post helped remind you to some things you already knew, and that you're able to in some way adjust your course with this girl into a more positive one, even if that means eventually leaving her for another woman.

[AntiMediocrity]

Separating this post. Just want to say Fortis and Graffix great responses. The thing is Poland doesn't celebrate sexuality and doesn't enable infidelity as much as western countries. While there are many girls who undoubtedly sleep around the vast majority of cheating on your partner comes from the male side. They meet some girl at work who's younger, or they go out drinking beers with mates and see a tight piece on the dance floor/leaning on the bar and it's a done deal. Too many single women of breeding age or higher looking for a man.

Speaking of which, because there's so many single women here with few decent options the idea of them finally acquiring a man who is willing to be there for the long haul only to cheat on them is far more abhorrent - especially when taking into the account of the lack of sexual/cheating glorification.

You've read many times no doubt, girls saying they slept with xx partners or cheated on their husband and the responses can vary from "Oh I'm so jealous" or "You go girl!". Here, girls are so pleased to find a man or that their friend has met someone who isn't a drunk Polak that it's celebrated to have and keep a guy. Taking infidelity relatively off the menu. There are exceptions, of course.

So taking all this into account, a girl is likely to have male friends here but not sleep with them. They're averse to it through the culture and they're not enabled by their social circles either. If it's going to happen it will be without the knowledge of their friends, an extremely aggressive guy and a lot of lowered inhibitions, mostly likely through alcohol.

[AneroidOcean]

(02-01-2017 12:37 PM)XXL Wrote:  

(01-28-2017 02:17 AM)AntiMediocrity Wrote:  

XXL Wrote:

What's in it for you?

I dunno man, when I have something to say I say it and even moreso to a girl I'm dating. I figure if she can't take something I say we're not meant to be. But perhaps in this instance I should be more tactful, because it's pissed every girl off.

I'm waiting for that moment when I say it and their response is "you're right, I'm dropping him out of my social life". Even a "you're right" would suffice.

Apparently it's never going to happen.

That's the dilemma of life

Whether to say what's on your mind and feel good despite it might make your life harder or to keep your shit to yourself for the sake of making your life easier.

This thread's answer is simple. XXL basically broke it down when he asked "what's in it for you?" in reference to OP telling the girl that the guy is sexually interested in her.

OP said he'd like the girl to for once say, "you're right."

There are MANY instances in life where you can be "right" and lose or "shut up" and win.

This is one of those instances, where OP just needs to shut up and continue winning instead of creating a problem where there isn't one.

The answer to OPs question is, "yes, you should be more tactful" as there's nothing really wrong happening in the scenario. OP is getting bent out of shape for no reason. If he absolutely MUST bring it up, he should do it in a completely silly way, like making air humping motions and ridiculous faces pretending to be the Portuguese guy speaking in German to her about "dancing."

Obviously, in this case she's been cheated on so maybe not appropriate with this one, but the goal is to have her laugh and punch you in the arm because you're such an asshole, not to have a logical reasoned debate with her.

[puckerman]

You have always have to go indirect. I'm surprised nobody else has suggested this here. Tell her to fix up her beta orbiters with her friends. Keep pushing this, even if she doesn't like the idea. You could even suggest that all four of you go out together. Several things can happen:

1. The beta orbiter ends up with a girl friend and stops hanging around.
2. The beta orbiter might become wise to her games and leave.
3. She actually gains some respect for the beta orbiter and tells him the truth.
4. He doesn't change, and she doesn't change.