[tedwaltmuf]

I need some advice in this area, how often should compliment a girl vs neg her. For example the other day I was with this girl that I knew for a while and was trying this out as an experiment. I would criticize her work in a playful manner and after a few comments of mine, she asked why I enjoyed putting her down so much. I said that I was just playing around and she should lighten up and she responded that I should be nicer to her.
In other scenarios where I give a girl a compliment about how she looks if she puts in the effort, I get a pretty good response and I get further with her but I also notice that if I do it too much all I get is her constantly seeking validation with no gain on my end.
Wheres the line? Is it possible to take negging or playful insults too far? where do I draw the line for how many compliments I give and when?

[torridon747]

I think you may be misunderstanding why you neg in the first place, back to the books. "negging" is the yin to a compliments yang. You want to show attraction and not be so cold an easy way to do it without risk is by complimenting her. Many players don't even bother complimenting because there are better ways to do it that involve more skill and risk. To the point though, you neg a girl to knock her off her high horse and throw her off guard. It's inherently risky (not as risky as you would think) and it's an alpha thing to do. It sets you apart from the other guys. However there is a grand canyon between playfully negging and making a girl just feel bad about herself. So if you're doing the latter re-think your strategy.

If you're not getting the desired effect then stop doing it.

[Corollary]

Why don't you keep experimenting? Try taking it too far. Try not doing it at all. Try it at different times.

No one can give you can answer better than what you can find out yourself through experimentation.

[Alche]

Negging is a reflection of your insecurities. Your confusing negging with calling a girl on her bullshit.

If a girl is acting up, you need to call her out on it. Negging is just a way to pretend to feel alpha.

[NickDunne]

(02-06-2017 10:40 PM)tedwaltmuf Wrote:  

For example the other day I was with this girl that I knew for a while and was trying this out as an experiment. I would criticize her work in a playful manner and after a few comments of mine, she asked why I enjoyed putting her down so much.

Were you sexually/romantically involved with her or she is just a colleague/friend? If it's the latter case, you're coming off like you're pissed of at her for something or just like an asshole.

Negging is for first encounters, when you want to differentiate yourself from the spineless, supplicating betas.

Best way to practice negging is to go out, find girls who you don't care much about and escalate until they get insulted so you know to gauge yourself for when it really counts.

[debeguiled]

(02-07-2017 02:02 AM)Alche Wrote:  

Negging is a reflection of your insecurities. Your confusing negging with calling a girl on her bullshit.

If a girl is acting up, you need to call her out on it. Negging is just a way to pretend to feel alpha.

Completely disagree.

Negging was reverse engineered from women.

The sexes think differently.

Women flirt with men in the way they want to be flirted with, negging, and end up pissing the guy off because he doesn't want that.

Men flirt with women the way they want to be flirted with, compliments and that, and end up turning women off because they don't want that.

The more a girl negs, that is, shit tests, the more annoyed the guy gets, and the more a guy compliments, the more bored a woman gets, and without game, both sides double down on the behavior that didn't work because they are unsatisfied with what is going on and can't see that the opposite sex sees things differently.

The fancy anthropological term is Complementary Schismogenesis:

Quote:

Given two groups of people, the interaction between them is such that a behavior X from one side elicits a behavior Y from the other side, The two behaviors complement one another, exemplified in the dominant-submissive behaviors of a class struggle. Furthermore, the behaviors may exaggerate one another, leading to a severe rift and possible conflict.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schismogen...smogenesis

Here's an everyday example outside of pickup, this bit from the book "The Full Catastrophe" by David Carkeet:

Quote:

In the kitchen, Dan had had a story to tell. But Beth had had a meal to prepare. Dan talked. Beth cooked. Dan, reacting to Beth's inattention, talked harder. Beth, fighting the distraction, cooked harder. The repulsion was mutual and meticuously balanced. Complementary schismogenesis. It was a killer concept.

So game in general, and negs in particular, get you out of the loop of complementary schismogenesis, because instead of doing what you would naturally do, which does its part to drive man and women apart, you do what women want you to do instead of solipsistically doing what you want done to you.

When you neg, you aren't pretending to be alpha, you are speaking her language. It doesn't mean crap all over her, it means adding a little velcro to your teflon.

You are at a cafe and you see the cute barista sweeping up beneath the tables. You think, this girl takes her job seriously, I like that. If you tell her your are impressed that she takes her job seriously, it will mean nothing to her, because she has random guys complimenting her all day and she will say oh thank you in her bored going through the motions voice and you will not register for her at all.

But what if you said, "You're working hard today. . .for a change." I have used this and seen women light up when I said it. It wakes them up out of their normal catatonic life they do on autopilot, makes them perk up their ears and pay attention.

This guy has a bit of backbone, might be a challenge. This is how they think. Not how we think.

I agree with Corollary. Experiment with it. Some women don't respond well to negs, which ones and why? Some topics you should not neg about. Which are they and why? How much is too much? Too little.

You can use your girl at work as a test case, and experiment with her.

[ksbms]

Think in terms of pull & push.

Strong pull - "you're a pretty girl"

Strong push - "you're not my type"

Masterfully, you'd have pull & push in one. An ambiguity, obfuscation, plausible deniability, double entendre, will make her think. The more she thinks, the more she's invested.

Pull&push - "too bad you're not my type but I like how strong your legs are" or "I prefer blondes, but your eyes compensate for your hair."

Her mind will go into overdrive.

[rudebwoy]

I stopped negging girls unless they are being stupid. In that case I will give them the look, like I am not amused.

Compliments I give out once in awhile, I believe there is an art to giving compliments.

It has to be sincere or a compliment on something she wouldn't think you would notice.

Girls nowadays respond to negative behaviour, I can't remember the last time I gave out a compliment.

[DimeBait]

I only compliment things within their control such as how well they're put together, outfit, shoes etc. Never their genetics. Most people appreciate it when you notice something they've put effort into!

[Hypno]

(02-07-2017 02:02 AM)Alche Wrote:  

Negging is a reflection of your insecurities. Your confusing negging with calling a girl on her bullshit.

If a girl is acting up, you need to call her out on it. Negging is just a way to pretend to feel alpha.

negging works when the girl is throwing out a lot of bs, or is acting like a bitch.

if she is open and kind, then your negging in that context will just be mean.

[questor70]

I understand that it might impress women to ride that fine line between a sarcastic joke and a put-down but reactions are going to be so subjective. Most examples of negging I've seen just come across as rude and obnoxious. And I think women who get off on being mildly insulted aren't the kind of women I'd want to be with anyway.