[Realbor]

So a while back I made a thread about waiting til ur mid 30s before u become a father. Reason I wanna do it is mainly because Ive lived a pretty isolated boring life up to this point (Im 28), but also cause I just dont feel competent and experienced enough to get kids yet. Basicly I feel like I wanna experience more stuff before I get into things like that.

I have some catching up to do, both socially and sexually. Basicly I wanna travel around for a while, party more and just hook up with a fuck ton of more women, also try different shit like DMT. Basicly in general "fuck around", being rather care-free and just living more like a 20-year old in my 30s.

Not quite sure what my question per se is, probably just looking for some input on my thoughts, I feel somewhat of a pressure to "grow up and become a serious responsible adult, settle down and become gray and boring", this from all around me, society as a whole.

Whats your take on it, how long are you guys planning on doing this, and by this I mean .. well, basicly anything but becoming a gray boring daddy who goes to work at 8, gets home at 5, eat dinner, walk the dog and then black out at the sofa infront of the TV just to wake up the next day and do the same old shit again.

[Le Siamois]

Don't start a family if you don't feel experienced enough or don't have your financials in order.

I'm still a young'n and often find myself contemplating the idea of starting my own tribe, it's a natural instinct that we all have, but there's no need to rush it.

[Laner]

There is no such thing as getting 'things' out of your system. As men, we are always curious and are always going to push our mental and physical boundaries.

I know its a concept that many young men - and now women, too - share; That it will be a matter of getting things out of their system and then life will be free of those desires/thoughts/curiosity.

I say this, because I thought the same things. But year after year, it was always the same. More curiosity, more knowledge, more skill, etc, etc. These are all things that work against 'settling down', which by the way is also a mindset that is the opposite 'blue pill' thinking than what real life shows.

[Travesty]

^ I think that is the rare exception rather than the rule in the last 5 years or so for myself I got many things out of my system for good that make the prospect of settling down much easier.

Now a family member of mine is a complete animal and still wanting to go out and drink hard in mid 40s and flirt. He is the type guy you speak of which in my observation is much much more rare.

[John Michael Kane]

Work on your finances, get the in order and start investing. Cut expenses to a minimum. Stop filtering for easy to bed women, filter for LTR compatibility. I'm 33 and in wife hunting mode. If you wait too long, then younger women (the ones that haven't ridden the cock wagon) are less likely to want to marry you. 28 is a fine time for a man to consider marriage, just get your house in order to prepare for the task. Nobody is every really "ready" for such a task. There is no perfect time. The time is now.

[Tactician]

(02-04-2017 07:08 PM)Laner Wrote:  

There is no such thing as getting 'things' out of your system. As men, we are always curious and are always going to push our mental and physical boundaries.

I know its a concept that many young men - and now women, too - share; That it will be a matter of getting things out of their system and then life will be free of those desires/thoughts/curiosity.

I say this, because I thought the same things. But year after year, it was always the same. More curiosity, more knowledge, more skill, etc, etc. These are all things that work against 'settling down', which by the way is also a mindset that is the opposite 'blue pill' thinking than what real life shows.

This is really accurate and something that comes with wisdom and age. However, I think a lot of people, myself included, had to go through a lot of 'getting things out of our system' to come to this conclusion.

That said, OP, if you want to 'get things out of your system.' Keep this idea in mind so you can realize how endless your options for 'getting things out of your system' are.

Further, you presented a false dichotomy, being a dad doesn't have to be gray and boring. A lot of dads are badasses. For example, Donald Trump.

[Laner]

(02-04-2017 08:50 PM)Travesty Wrote:  

^ I think that is the rare exception rather than the rule in the last 5 years or so for myself I got many things out of my system for good that make the prospect of settling down much easier.

Now a family member of mine is a complete animal and still wanting to go out and drink hard in mid 40s and flirt. He is the type guy you speak of which in my observation is much much more rare.

I agree, I did get 'many' things out of my system. And those were the things that were going to hold me back as I grew. So in that regard, yes, getting things out of you system is absolutely the way to go.

What I was more referencing is that those things that were considered 'fucking around' in your 20's are replaced by other pursuits. I just think the idea of this concept is put upon us men without any real reason to back it up. I don't even remember being specifically told that there was a point in life where curiosity has to lose out mundane. Yet it is very common, and it is a problem. Its this philosophy that created us, who felt the world still offered more to men. And we were bold enough to take it.

[Ski pro]

(02-04-2017 07:08 PM)Laner Wrote:  

There is no such thing as getting 'things' out of your system. As men, we are always curious and are always going to push our mental and physical boundaries.

I know its a concept that many young men - and now women, too - share; That it will be a matter of getting things out of their system and then life will be free of those desires/thoughts/curiosity.

I say this, because I thought the same things. But year after year, it was always the same. More curiosity, more knowledge, more skill, etc, etc. These are all things that work against 'settling down', which by the way is also a mindset that is the opposite 'blue pill' thinking than what real life shows.

^ good point.

I found that recently, (39) it's not the case that I got those things out of my system, it's more that I just don't want to do them anymore. Those things that were once interesting in your 20/30s which for me was getting hammered and having subsequent adventures, just aren't interesting any more. If you do too much of anything, it becomes boring.

I want to do different things now, things with more meaning and value which is a natural consequence of aging and being more wise.

[bushcraft9]

Don't see why anyone would start a family in this modern age. Folks in the past just had children so they could help on the farm etc, I mean to have to sacrifice yourself for many years to raise a child and for that child to not contribute back anything because of the non agricultural era society is in is beyond stupid in my opinion. Getting a partner as well is another pointless endeavor. Just live as a bachelor till you die, that is what I am doing.

[Cr33pin]

Why dont you wait until your mid/late 30's to start making threads

[scotian]

I'm 34 and still fucking around, no end in sight!

[birthday cat]

It depends on what you mean by "fucking around" but I think you can continue to have a fun life at any age as long as you take care of your health and finances.

Workout, eat well, sleep well, don't let anything fuck with your mind (crazy girls, angry people on the internets), make money, manage your money well, learn new skills or update your skills so you can keep making money, etc.

[birthday cat]

(02-05-2017 04:12 PM)bushcraft9 Wrote:  

Don't see why anyone would start a family in this modern age. Folks in the past just had children so they could help on the farm etc, I mean to have to sacrifice yourself for many years to raise a child and for that child to not contribute back anything because of the non agricultural era society is in is beyond stupid in my opinion. Getting a partner as well is another pointless endeavor. Just live as a bachelor till you die, that is what I am doing.

I understand this. I have felt like this. I think many guys that feel like this will eventually change their mind as they age but I've also met guys who haven't changed their mind.

For me, I don't see enough upside in having a family in western culture but it is a possibility somewhere else.

[John Michael Kane]

For all those guys waiting till they are 40, 50 or beyond to find a wife, keep the following in mind: Women aren't blind, and care about physical attraction. Obviously, looks aren't as important to women as they are to men, but they certainly aren't insignificant. The longer you wait (especially if you're pushing 15-20 years older than her or more), the more likely the relationship/marriage will be about her being attracted to your money, and less about genuine attraction to you the person. And while women's reproductive health has a much smaller window than men's, our sperm quality declines over time too. Read up on the medical research if you genuinely are interested in having a family. Fucking around forever with low-quality women is investing your time and money into a pit. If you're in your 30's, and have a goal to be a father, fucking around is a counterproductive thing to be doing from a time, money, health and emotional standpoint. Get a list of what you're looking for in a woman, and filter accordingly.

[Lime]

(02-04-2017 07:08 PM)Laner Wrote:  

There is no such thing as getting 'things' out of your system. As men, we are always curious and are always going to push our mental and physical boundaries.

I know its a concept that many young men - and now women, too - share; That it will be a matter of getting things out of their system and then life will be free of those desires/thoughts/curiosity.

I say this, because I thought the same things. But year after year, it was always the same. More curiosity, more knowledge, more skill, etc, etc. These are all things that work against 'settling down', which by the way is also a mindset that is the opposite 'blue pill' thinking than what real life shows.

How does this apply to this post by Travesty from this thread?

(02-04-2017 11:58 AM)Travesty Wrote:  

I think banging as many 18-20yo girls as possible until you are 24 or 25 when it is the easiest it will ever be. Sow your oats. After that age it just gets harder with each year.

Then focus as hard as you can making money knowing you got it in all the easiest hottest bangs and that in old age you will need money and options to have the same enjoyment once you lose your youth.

I think any guy that likes the player lifestyle would be doing himself a huge disservice by not devoting a large block of time running game and banging girls in these early years... if someone chose to ignore girls during these years and settle for a few plain 6s here and there between droughts because they are working so much I would say that is a very gay gamble with your time because you would need to be worth millions or famous soon after these years to have the same ease & fun with these girls.

Once you get to late 20s - mid 30s now all those years just blend into older guy for these chicks rather than peer.

That said if you are 25-35 and never successfully gamed for a few years do it now to get the experience in.

In case somebody feels he didn't go with enough younger (18-25yo) girls, I can also imagine that that is better done younger, somewhat to 'get it out of your system' or at least went with a satisfying amount.. What would be your stance on this?

[birthday cat]

^ Some guys need to prove to themselves and prove to others that they can bang a lot of girls or hot girls or young girls. It is rooted in insecurity but we are all insecure to a certain degree. Proving you can do it and gaining some wisdom from age can definitely change a person so I don't agree with "there is no such thing as getting 'things' out of your system" in the case of banging a lot of girls.

[scotian]

You can still fuck around and get shit done, myself, I didn't get my shit together until I was 25 (too much fucking around) then I spent three years busting my ass in my trade, paying off debt and saving money. I bought a condo and advanced in my trade then at 28 started taking several months off each year which I still do. The entire time I've been fucking around and wasting tons of money on partying, traveling and hobbies but I always go back to work and stack cash because being broke after 30 really sucks.

TLDR: Have fun fucking around but make sure you accomplish something along the way so you don't wake up one day at age 35 with a net worth of $1000.

[dallasguy]

I fucked around until I was 25 then had a career change at 35. It's not too late until your mind and body start to fade. That's why you work out and take it easy on the alcohol. I'm going on 43 and people think I'm 25 haha. I can still run, jump, climb over walls like I'm 15

[Merenguero]

(02-05-2017 06:40 PM)scotian Wrote:  

You can still fuck around and get shit done, myself, I didn't get my shit together until I was 25 (too much fucking around) then I spent three years busting my ass in my trade, paying off debt and saving money. I bought a condo and advanced in my trade then at 28 started taking several months off each year which I still do. The entire time I've been fucking around and wasting tons of money on partying, traveling and hobbies but I always go back to work and stack cash because being broke after 30 really sucks.

TLDR: Have fun fucking around but make sure you accomplish something along the way so you don't wake up one day at age 35 with a net worth of $1000.

Have you ever thought of running a business at the Jersey Shore? About three and a half to four months of working around the clock, then the whole rest of the year dedicated to fucking around and/or receiving unemployment.

[Skank_Hunt]

Hunt skanks until you die. It's a much better lot than 99% of the current generation of men in the anglosphere.

[RatInTheWoods]

Its your life, your choice.

Do not do what other people want you to do, shame you to do or attempt to socially engineer you to do.

[Laner]

(02-05-2017 05:10 PM)Lime Wrote:  

(02-04-2017 07:08 PM)Laner Wrote:  

There is no such thing as getting 'things' out of your system. As men, we are always curious and are always going to push our mental and physical boundaries.

I know its a concept that many young men - and now women, too - share; That it will be a matter of getting things out of their system and then life will be free of those desires/thoughts/curiosity.

I say this, because I thought the same things. But year after year, it was always the same. More curiosity, more knowledge, more skill, etc, etc. These are all things that work against 'settling down', which by the way is also a mindset that is the opposite 'blue pill' thinking than what real life shows.

How does this apply to this post by Travesty from this thread?

(02-04-2017 11:58 AM)Travesty Wrote:  

I think banging as many 18-20yo girls as possible until you are 24 or 25 when it is the easiest it will ever be. Sow your oats. After that age it just gets harder with each year.

Then focus as hard as you can making money knowing you got it in all the easiest hottest bangs and that in old age you will need money and options to have the same enjoyment once you lose your youth.

I think any guy that likes the player lifestyle would be doing himself a huge disservice by not devoting a large block of time running game and banging girls in these early years... if someone chose to ignore girls during these years and settle for a few plain 6s here and there between droughts because they are working so much I would say that is a very gay gamble with your time because you would need to be worth millions or famous soon after these years to have the same ease & fun with these girls.

Once you get to late 20s - mid 30s now all those years just blend into older guy for these chicks rather than peer.

That said if you are 25-35 and never successfully gamed for a few years do it now to get the experience in.

In case somebody feels he didn't go with enough younger (18-25yo) girls, I can also imagine that that is better done younger, somewhat to 'get it out of your system' or at least went with a satisfying amount.. What would be your stance on this?

Men differ a lot. I can answer for myself, and that is what I will do. I fucked around in the best way possible. Traveled a lot, saw the world, racked up a lot of flags, and yet got a trade, did university, started (and failed) some businesses. I am 37 now and still fuck around. While I do agree it gets a bit more difficult to land girls, at the same time it has never been easier. Going out can feel like a chore sometimes, but I just found ways to bring hot young girls out with me at night, while trying to make some side money hustles. So for me 'fucking around' and improving my net worth go hand in hand.

(02-05-2017 05:23 PM)birthday cat Wrote:  

^ Some guys need to prove to themselves and prove to others that they can bang a lot of girls or hot girls or young girls. It is rooted in insecurity but we are all insecure to a certain degree. Proving you can do it and gaining some wisdom from age can definitely change a person so I don't agree with "there is no such thing as getting 'things' out of your system" in the case of banging a lot of girls.

Insecurity for sure, but after a dozen or so women for me it became the chase and the pleasure. And the pleasure of sex with a young beautiful woman with a perfect body is among the highest forms.

[Vill@in]

Every guy is different, but I never 'got it out of my system' or 'grew out of it'. I'm 39.

Never married, but I was with my ex for 6 years and we have a daughter together. I tried the quiet, home life and it just wasn't for me. I HOPED that I could make it something that I wanted but after 6 years of not being happy...I realized it wasn't going to happen.

What makes me happy is the hunt. I'm having the time of my life now and I really don't think I'll ever change. This is what makes me happy.

Don't let society, friends or family influence you on what will make you happy. YOU have to decide that. If settling down with one woman and having (or not having) kids makes you happy, great. If not, that's great too. Of course you may not know if the former will make you happy until you do it, so if you decide to give it a try don't get married unless you are 99% positive it will make you happy. There's the rub. So my advice is don't get married.

[Hoser]

I've watched too many men waste years of their lives on the whole "just do what makes you happy" thing, I've noticed over the years that people who believe that tend to be young adults. By the time they hit their early or mid 30s, they start tiring of all the funtimes, looking for something more. 40s, they're having a midlife crisis, 50s, they're bitter and burned out on all the golf and fishing, 60+ and they're like "Fuck it. Fuck it all. Fuck everybody!" while valet-parking their luxury sports cars at the steakhouse and gaming the freaky plastic-surgery-ruined divorcees. Seeking happiness for happiness' sake isn't the answer, that I can promise.

I'm convinced this is why "The Purpose-Driven Life" was such an insanely best-selling book. When people live where survival is a daily struggle, they're happy. When they live in the First World, their problems are too often rooted in simply finding satisfaction. I speak from experience, and understand ever more why family is so important, including starting your own.

[LockeAndLoad]

I don't think it's a "time" or "age" thing, but rather life experience/life station. If you are ready in your life to start a family, that's more important than "I'm 35, gotta get on this"