[ElFlaco]

Some odd defenses of bullying here. It's usually just picking on someone weaker because they're an easy target. That's cruel, like torturing a cat. Bullying does sometimes have a positive effect, motivating the victim to get their shit together in life, so it's not always bad. And I'm all for bullying if the victim is a bully himself.

In school I bullied an ex friend, and along with another friend, we set out to ruin his life. He went on to have a terrible life (convicted for a disgusting crime) and I feel like shit knowing that I may have played a role in ruining his childhood. Around the same time, I was targeted by a stoner bully in gym class for almost a year. Not sure why, since he barely knew me. Not what I needed.

[Meat Head]

^Why did you set out to destroy your ex friend and ruin his life?

[Laner]

I think there is a difference in what some of us consider bullying, and what some of consider cruel. There is a big difference.

Bullying is only to establish an ever changing order among boys and girls. Some kids get bullied and move to the side and let the stronger kids continue to jockey for position.

Those who are cruel use that as an opportunity to torture those who have been established by the tribe to be weaker than the others. When people say bullying is bad, this is what they think of. But because of the time [insert current year] we are not able, as adults, to call out kids for being sadistic little fucks. But that is what they are when they decide to torture weaker kids who have already given up and just want to a place to hide.

As kids if we were caught with cruel intentions or in the act, we were punished severely by adults. Not just our parents either, but by the community as a whole. Almost guaranteed kids don't get called out for their shit anymore, even by their parents. And now kids are online so it adds another element to this.

[Meat Head]

My guess is bullies remain abusive their entire lives, even to wives and children.

[SamuelBRoberts]

(12-16-2016 02:28 PM)ElFlaco Wrote:  

Some odd defenses of bullying here. It's usually just picking on someone weaker because they're an easy target. That's cruel, like torturing a cat. Bullying does sometimes have a positive effect, motivating the victim to get their shit together in life, so it's not always bad. And I'm all for bullying if the victim is a bully himself.

In school I bullied an ex friend, and along with another friend, we set out to ruin his life. He went on to have a terrible life (convicted for a disgusting crime) and I feel like shit knowing that I may have played a role in ruining his childhood. Around the same time, I was targeted by a stoner bully in gym class for almost a year. Not sure why, since he barely knew me. Not what I needed.

I was bullied pretty bad in 10th grade. One day I finally got so mad that I slammed the guy into a locker. Teachers broke up the fight immediately, and that was the end of my troubles with him.

I maintain to this day that that one instant where I stood up for myself was a seminal moment in my life. If I had led him keep taunting me, instead of posting here I would probably be on some faggy tumblr site whining about how the Russians stole the election from our multicultral and diverse society.

Still, looking back, I can't say that I wouldn't be better off if he would've just left me alone.

[Meat Head]

The whole idea of loving your enemies and turning the other cheek doesnt work with bullies. I tried it.

[Irenicus]

Quote:

I hope you didn't suffer any serious consequences for beating that guy.

I did suffer some consequences (my behavior grade was lowered from 5 to 4 - snizili vladanje), but they did not have a negative impact on my life.


Even now, almost 10 years after I did that, I have no regrets.

[Comte De St. Germain]

(12-17-2016 05:01 AM)Meat Head Wrote:  

The whole idea of loving your enemies and turning the other cheek doesnt work with bullies. I tried it.

I love my enemies precisely because I hate them. I think every high powered male has to have a certain degree of hate in them to function well. It doesn't mean to be stressed out or worrisome about things you dislike, but a healthy amount of hate keeps men motivated and non-complacent.

[DevilsMoJo]

I was bullied at school and the teachers supported the bullies.

This is why I talk shit to power and win

[DevilsMoJo]

(12-16-2016 02:28 PM)ElFlaco Wrote:  

Some odd defenses of bullying here. It's usually just picking on someone weaker because they're an easy target. That's cruel, like torturing a cat. Bullying does sometimes have a positive effect, motivating the victim to get their shit together in life, so it's not always bad. And I'm all for bullying if the victim is a bully himself.

In school I bullied an ex friend, and along with another friend, we set out to ruin his life. He went on to have a terrible life (convicted for a disgusting crime) and I feel like shit knowing that I may have played a role in ruining his childhood. Around the same time, I was targeted by a stoner bully in gym class for almost a year. Not sure why, since he barely knew me. Not what I needed.

Pro-Bullying Teacher: "The bully had a difficult childhood so its not his fault he's a cunt"

[Meat Head]

My guess is bullies dont like themselves vey much. I know this sounds cheesy but hurt people, hurt people.

[Mufasa]

(12-15-2016 12:49 PM)Silver_Tube Wrote:  

my childhood nickname was faggot

GAHDAMN LOL

(12-15-2016 11:33 PM)Comte De St. Germain Wrote:  

$100 says he was the one getting bullied back in the day

(12-15-2016 06:08 PM)needhelp Wrote:  

I don't mean any disrespect but stop ganging up on me.

Lol. YUP

I personally think bullying is a negative that produces positives. I remember the first time I was called a faggot in the first grade. If that never happened I probably would have done some faggy shit at a older age that would not have been cool.

(12-15-2016 11:27 PM)LeBeau Wrote:  

(12-15-2016 10:26 PM)needhelp Wrote:  

Hey scotian, younggun, and comte. Keep repeating ad hominems against me. I've already reported your posts to the moderators. You have turned a thread about bullying into a thread about kicking dirt into a new member's face. Stay classy.

This is how you get bullied.

lol did you just out yourself as a snitch?! only a girl (or a elementary school boy) snitches and brags about it like its some nuclear deterrent. Most men learn not to do this; I would think that doubly true on this forum

#WorstNarkEver

[qwertyuiop]

I did in high school and early college pretty badly.

Then I got taller, better looking, make good money, and good with women so there is not much to make fun of anymore.

[YoungAngel1]

Doesn't every kid at some point or another get "bullied"? Maybe for being shy, short, fat, dumb, unathletic, ugly. There is always the one alpha male in the class that doesn't get bullied, but I think most males get bullied at one time or another by their groups. I think alot of times, the guys complaining about it, never stood up for himself.

[robreke]

Here's how I learned to deal with bullies. When I was about 7 or 8, a big kid named Ronnie came to a friends I was at. We were in the backyard. I had never seen Ronnie before. For no reason, he didn't like me and punched me hard in the stomach without warning. If felt like his fist went all the way to my spine. I doubled over and gasped for breath. When I caught my breath, I ran home.

I was very upset on the verge of tears and my dad asked me what happened. I told him. He said, hit my hand. And in a few minutes taught me how to throw a good punch. He told me that next time you see that kid, you need to go and punch him until he doesn't want any more. In my mind, my father...who was basically GOD to me at that time in my life...had given me divine permission and a MISSION to do something. When someone of this stature gives you permission and tells you what to do....there is no fear...no doubt. At that moment, I had absolute certainty of purpose.

Alone, I walked back over to my friends. Now they were all playing in the front yard and there was a bigger group of neighborhood kids there. About 7 kids total. Ronnie was there and saw me and said 'what are you doing here punk'? I walked up to him and punched him as hard as I could in his mouth. His head flew back. He was slightly taller. He grabbed his mouth and looked at me shocked. He lowered his hands and I punched him again in the mouth. I continued punching him in the face over and over. I remember, I could feel his teeth, through his lips, on my knuckles. He staggered back almost falling grabbing his face ...tears in his eyes. "Please stop" he whined. " You're going to knock all my teeth out" I continued to look at him. He ran back home crying.

The other neighborhood kids shouted jubilantly and clapped me on the back. I was the neighborhood hero that day. All because a strong father figure gave me permission to do what I must. I was never bullied again.

[Mayweather]

As I got older I saw a lot of 'bullies' for what they were. Broken people from broken homes. Provided I grew up around a lot of dudes from the hood but also middle class families (what's left of the middle class anyway), so sometimes altercations ended with someone dying or getting stomped out. I've definitely put my hands on someone for taking shit past where it needed to go verbally. The thought of retaliation with a punch/knife/bullett calms a lot of people down and makes them pick their battles. It's all fun and games until you get another school shooting from one of those forgotten or mistreated boys, then bullying isn't so normal or positive for maturation.

Ironically enough, I see people acting out their Alpha fantasies by incorporating textbook bullying tactics in the Manosphere. I'll see a newbie asking a decent question and experienced posters jump out the window and regurgitating 'lift', 'fuck', 'don't feel anything', go to Manila', or straight up personal attacks for not being where they are. A lot of weakness is demonstrated by those who aim to be heard in volume and not by the merit of their actions. Some people forever remain the person they were on the playground regardless of how old they may be.

[Meat Head]

I have observed posters saying victims of bullies 'deserved it', it 'toughened them up' and it was 'boys being boys.' I guess that is how bullies rationalise their bullying.

I suppose lifting and taking karate class would make one less of a victim.

[H1N1]

(12-20-2016 04:33 AM)Meat Head Wrote:  

I have observed posters saying victims of bullies 'deserved it', it 'toughened them up' and it was 'boys being boys.' I guess that is how bullies rationalise their bullying.

I suppose lifting and taking karate class would make one less of a victim.

Who decides who's a bully, who's just boisterous, and who's gaining righteous retribution on a little twerp that hadn't learned not to poke the bear?

Not all unpleasantness is unwarranted, and not everyone has the same subjective experience of the same objective action.

Some people really do need a clip round the ear for their own benefit. I was at a party on Friday, and there was a snarky little pop-punk tough guy there with a terrible attitude and that fucking lilting semi-fag vocal tonality. Long story short, he squared up to me being a real smart arse in response to a polite and reasonable request I made. In any sane world, some well meaning 'bully' would have systematically slapped this silliness out of this guy long ago. I let it go, of course, but as it is he stands a good chance of saying the wrong thing to someone less forgiving than me, and he could get himself very seriously hurt as a result.

Sometimes a little cruelty is the kindest thing in the long run, and there is a gulf between many of the things that are lightly described as bullying and the much rarer instances of real, sustained, and gratuitous nastiness.

Edit: Anyone doing karate gets a wedgy automatically as a pre-emptive strike against their inevitable boast about their killing hands.

[nek]

(12-20-2016 06:52 AM)H1N1 Wrote:  

(12-20-2016 04:33 AM)Meat Head Wrote:  

I have observed posters saying victims of bullies 'deserved it', it 'toughened them up' and it was 'boys being boys.' I guess that is how bullies rationalise their bullying.

I suppose lifting and taking karate class would make one less of a victim.

Who decides who's a bully, who's just boisterous, and who's gaining righteous retribution on a little twerp that hadn't learned not to poke the bear?

Not all unpleasantness is unwarranted, and not everyone has the same subjective experience of the same objective action.

Some people really do need a clip round the ear for their own benefit. I was at a party on Friday, and there was a snarky little pop-punk tough guy there with a terrible attitude and that fucking lilting semi-fag vocal tonality. Long story short, he squared up to me being a real smart arse in response to a polite and reasonable request I made. In any sane world, some well meaning 'bully' would have systematically slapped this silliness out of this guy long ago. I let it go, of course, but as it is he stands a good chance of saying the wrong thing to someone less forgiving than me, and he could get himself very seriously hurt as a result.

Sometimes a little cruelty is the kindest thing in the long run, and there is a gulf between many of the things that are lightly described as bullying and the much rarer instances of real, sustained, and gratuitous nastiness.

Edit: Anyone doing karate gets a wedgy automatically as a pre-emptive strike against their inevitable boast about their killing hands.

I think, in this situation, you're actually not talking about bullying but actually standing up to the bully. Just because someone isn't physically imposing doesn't mean they aren't bullying or trying to bully.

There's a difference between bullying and teaching lessons to people and that might be getting lost in this discussion. Most people who are bullying aren't doing it for noble reasons, it's their own kick out of it, and it's often done in excess of what's needed to prove a point. It's like when people say something insulting and respond by saying "I'm just keeping it real". No your not, you're just getting your rocks off being a dip shit, and your point could've been made without all the hostility.

[D.C. Eagle]

(12-16-2016 12:59 PM)Laner Wrote:  

(12-16-2016 09:50 AM)Nascimento Wrote:  

Most of the bullying I received was when I was a young fat kid. I was never really obese but my parents fed me too much.

I ended up pursuing sports rigorously partly because of it and looked into getting fit as I aged into my teens. Never again was I bullied because of it.

I was a dick a handful of times though. Probably because I wanted to feel what it was like to be on the other end for once.

It was strictly verbal bullying though. In terms of physical, I remember the times back in Gr. 7/8 when we'd play tackle football and get pretty reckless. We'd get bored after two months of it and start wrestling in the snow and fighting each other with ridiculous winter gear on while the girls just laughed at our behaviour. Teachers would be quick to put a stop to it which sucked, but we still had good times. Wasn't ever bullying though.

Nowadays I hear all that's completely gone now from playgrounds. Too bad.

Your post made me remember something I had not thought about in many years.

In grade 4 a friends older brother, who was in high school, would have these underground fighting rings for us kids. Pretty brutal actually now that I think about it, and we hated it, but we had to do it for some reason. Him and his buddies would have us strip down to our underwear and we would have to wrestle until one of us was choked out. They showed us how to do sleeper holds and this was the way to win. The basement was set up with mattresses, pillows and blankets. Lots of us kids would end up freaking out and crying and shit but we did it anyways.

That might have been the worst bullying actually.

Back in the 80s kids of all ages hung out together. Not sure if its still like that these days, but back then it was just the way it was. Made for some pretty brutal scenarios when the older boys thought up this kind of shit.

In Scouting we spent plenty of time across mixed age groups. When you get a group of 30 boys ages 11-17 shit is gonna go down. We used to give the younger scouts absolute hell, as was done to us, but always made sure to build them up. It filtered out kids, but the remaining kids were like family. New turnover in the adult leadership has ended our old tactics. On one of the more recent camping trips with the older guys, they noted that they wished they could be rough on the younger guys like we were to them. The younger guys are noticeably weaker mentally and physically. I don't put this purely to the lack of "bullying", but I do think that it plays a strong part in forming men. It's the same nature on any sports team I was on.

My nickname in Catholic school was titties, because I was a fat, asthmatic and unathletic dweeb. Being called titties everyday for two straight years helped me build a lot of character. Toughened up mu skin and made me mentally stronger. I know I wouldn't be half of myself without those two years. I look back on them fondly now.

[Delta]

While I strongly disagree with the sentiment that bullying victims "deserve it" or "have it coming," being bullied is always an indication that you're behaving in a way that repels girls (and is generally off-putting to other boys as well). I've never seen nor heard of a boy who was simultaneously a bullying victim and popular with chicks.

In my case, I never remotely did anything to provoke anyone, but I was widely bullied throughout school because I was an incredibly awkward, spineless nerd who had no idea how to stand up for himself. Kids who were somewhat on my side would praise me with tremendous glee whenever I showed even a hint of fighting back. Had I just gone all out one day and popped a bully in the mouth, my status would have improved dramatically. Even though I did nothing wrong, per se, I still regret my sackless behavior during my childhood.

So no, being bullied does not mean you're a bad person, but it does mean you're projecting low status, and you need to take a long look in the mirror to figure out how to change that.

[Tactician]

Bullying is kind of like rape. There's two kinds of rape.*

There's rape at knife point, that sort of rape. That's actual rape. That shit's fucked up.
Then there's some dumb slut getting drunk, and you know the story. That's just humans being human.

For bullying, there's needless cruel bullying where no opportunity is present for the target to remedy the situation. Cruel stuff where harm is the sole intention and the target can't do anything about it. This kind of bullying is reprehensible.

Then, there's the other form of bullying which is just a group's way of trying to get the target to fit in. Trying to correct the target's mistakes. That's just society trying to do the target a solid by providing some valuable, albeit harsh, feedback. In a way, the bullies are taking a roundabout leadership role to tell the target to fit in.

A reoccurring theme I noticed in this thread is that there were a lot of members who upped their fitness after being bullied for being a fatty. I've heard a lot of this from people I met, too. A lot of fit people, you'd never expect them to have once been fat.

Remembering my high school days, I can't think of straight up cruel bullying, but instead recall lots of times this one kid would be picked on because he lacked any social awareness. He had a group, but they would always pick on him because, in a way, they wanted him to fit in better. They wanted to be his friend and for him to 'get it.' He took it very seriously, but if he dropped the 'gamma male' behaviors that AB talks a lot about (narcissism, passive aggressive, holds grudges about dumb stuff, is petty), I'm 100% his group would have treated him as an equal.

No one ever picked on kids with mental problems or physical impairments. We were friendly with them and if someone was stupid enough to do it, they'd get fucked up.

Rather it was kids who had some hope to change for the better that were picked on when they overlooked the most common social cues or did passive aggressive shit.

As for people having beef, they usually did that to each other starting as equals. There's a sort of consent to this.

-
Anyway, there's a lot of people who have bettered themselves after reflecting on the reasons they were bullied. Samseau mentions it up thread that MikeCF was previously bullied and that's part of the reason he decided to improve himself.

I remember the line, "When are you going to get serious?" so I was able to find the article. Turns out it's his intro to Gorilla Mindset. I don't want to put words in Mike's mouth, so the article can speak for itself: Gorilla Mindset: Introduction

Quote:

Gorilla Mindset: Introduction

In a practical book on mindset, you want to know why these mindset techniques will work for you and, quite frankly, who the heck am I to tell you anything? Those are legitimate concerns. The techniques in Gorilla Mindset, while being research-backed, were first applied to my own life.

I grew up as a child on welfare. I had holes in my clothes. My parents were well-meaning and good people, but they had no conception of how to make or save money. They made mistakes and did the best they could, which is all you can expect. Besides, whining about your parents is about the most pathetic thing an adult can do.

Not only was I usually the poorest kid in school, I was also the fattest. I was “naturally” chubby and was picked on, ridiculed, and beaten up. I was afraid to walk home from school, as more often than not people would follow me. I’d either be called names or beat up.

My dad told me to start taking martial arts, and he even started taking classes with me. I was not naturally athletic. I was clumsy and out of shape. I couldn’t even do a single push-up. I hated martial arts classes and would have quit had my dad not been there taking classes with me.

I went through the motions, but I had no natural talent or belief in myself.

One day a bully beat me up badly and in humiliating fashion. My sister had to pull my attacker off of me. I felt demoralized and powerless.

We had a mattress in our garage. I went to the garage, lied down, and cried myself to sleep.

When my dad came home from work, he opened the garage door, looked down at me with part pity, part contempt, and asked me one question that changed my life.

“When are you going to get serious?”

Those words coupled with the expression his face were a wake-up call for me. I decided to get serious, and in some ways fanatical.

I would train until my body was exhausted and would hit the heavy bag until my knuckles would bleed. When I read in a martial arts magazine Thai fighters do 10 rounds on the heavy bag, I would do 10 rounds. When I learned Thai boxers would roll up magazines and hit their shins and legs to toughen themselves up, that’s what I did.

I learned when you systematically put in work, you will make progress. You might have terrible genetics, you might not have potential to be in the Olympics or win a UFC title, but you will improve.

I earned my black belt in Tae Kwon Do, boxed, and began beating up the bullies who had bullied me. I had a hair-trigger and would look for reasons to fight.

But I was never happy, and my social skills were poor. I was awkward and weird. My mindset was based on vengeance rather than normal things like going to parties.

In fact, I was once invited to attend a school “lock-in” at the YMCA with a bunch of other classmates. I put on Tiger Balm to keep my joints warm, lest someone decided to start a fight with me.

I also didn’t perform well in school, with every teacher having the same line for my parents at PTA meetings, “Michael is so smart. He does not live up to his potential.”

It wasn’t I enjoyed getting into trouble, but I grew up in a poor neighborhood. Where I came from, getting good grades and doing homework wasn’t the norm. I’d get into fights, steal sandwiches from the local grocery store, and shoot out car windows with a BB gun (which was also stolen).

When one of my acts of vandalism made the local newspaper, I clipped out the picture with pride.

To change my life, I had to change my own mindset. The need to “do hood rat things” and this anger inside me had to be focused into something more productive.

It took a lot of work, but I ended up going from a poor bullied fat kid without any money to a well-known lawyer, writer, and podcaster who travels the world. In most ways my success makes me laugh, as my life story is unbelievable.

It took a lot of work, and indeed I’m still working. Sometimes when people say they like me or ask me for advice, it’s hard to understand why. There are days I still feel like the fat kid who was afraid to walk home from school.

But here I am, successes, failures, and flaws in all their shame and glory, and now I ask you, “Isn’t it time to get serious?”

Be the first to find out when Gorilla Mindset is ready. Type in your email address, click subscribe, and I’ll be in touch.

*For legal reasons I disavow that there are two types of rape. There is only one type of rape, and the woman is always the victim. I never question anything the media tells me and I believe the CIA puts the interests of everyday citizens first.

[BrewDog]

I think most people were bullied in school at some point. I was bullied in middle school. I was a tiny lad in Jr. High. But they stopped that shit when I grew to 6 feet and was working out at the gym. Funny how that happens.

Bullies pick on the weak. Bullies aren't alpha. They're some beta cunts picking on people smaller. And they deserve no less than having their faces smashed.

[polnischspeaker234]

Currently still in school, and I wouldn't call myself a bully. Sometimes though, I fuck with other boys that I consider pussies, for example, if someone wants to get past me in a tight space, or take a chair from my table which no one is sitting in, and they quietly say something, I tell them something like "Say excuse me." or "Speak up." (Edit: I'll also mention that when they respond in a volume that I'm pleased with, even if they sound scared, I show my approval by saying "Good", and they go off on their way.)

I believe I'm making the world a better place

[Andreas]

I used to be bullied during the early years of school but after doing martial arts wit older guys for a few months I had built up the nerve to fend off the bullies. Sometimes I would bully other people but not too often.

I remember when a girl tried to embarrass me in front of a group of guys and the conversation went like this:

Little me: You know, when girls finger themselves, their nails turn yellow
She: *Looks at her nails*

All the guys laughed hysterically for a minute or two and she never dared to tell me anything else after that. Someone older than me taught me that.

I think it's very important for boys to have even some loose connections with older guys who can teach them how to counter all the shit talkers and the people who pick fights for no good reason at all. If the family is not there to teach you at least you have a group of experienced peers who can show you the way.