[Yeezy3]

Hey guy, I'm new to the forum and have finally come to terms with the fact my game is weak. I'm a good enough looking guy to where I can get attention from females but struggle to close. My texting game and overall game in general needs some work.

Anyways, I connected with a girl recently on Bumble and we've been having casual conversation. She's been out of town all week so I waited til this week to see if she wanted to meet up. Here's the basis of our text conversation in regards to that.

Sunday
Me: You free on Wednesday?
Her: I have clinical sign ups but should be
Me: We can do "bar" its a dope spot

Today (Tuesday)
Me: Lets meet at "bar" at 6pm tomorrow.
Her: How about Friday
Me: I have a Christmas party on Friday (which I do)

My question is, did I handle this correctly? Should I have proposed another date when I said I couldn't do Friday? Any insight would be appreciated. Still waiting for her to text back.

[LINUX]

Looks normal. Stop overthinking things.

But my advice is to adapt of the ADHD culture and stop making plans in advance.

Go for something like this:

Me: Yo, I'm going to get high and go watch the jungle book, want to come?
Her and ADHD thinking: Ok. I'm down.

or

Me: Yo, I'm going to get high and go watch the jungle book, want to come?
Her : Have a final tomorrow, sorry.
Me: That sucks, want me to come over and bring you some tea?
(context: she knows you want to fuck, women aren't stupid, and if she likes you and wants it also, she will reply with " that's so nice, ok." or she will reply with "no".

or

Me: Yo, I'm going to get high and go watch the jungle book, want to come?
Her : How about Sunday morning?
Me: Not sure what's going on, I'll write you Sunday morning and see what's up and if we can make it work.

I'm not telling you to do this because it works better, a girl either likes you or she doesn't so your text isn't going to make much of a difference, BUT this will save you some stress waiting a few days for a date and nearly eliminate flaking. Be spontaneous, stop making plans, adapt. Never wait around on a woman, that's not what they really want.

[philosophical_recovery]

(12-06-2016 08:35 PM)LINUX Wrote:  

Looks normal. Stop overthinking things.

But my advice is to adapt of the ADHD culture and stop making plans in advance.

Go for something like this:

Me: Yo, I'm going to get high and go watch the jungle book, want to come?
Her and ADHD thinking: Ok. I'm down.

or

Me: Yo, I'm going to get high and go watch the jungle book, want to come?
Her : Have a final tomorrow, sorry.
Me: That sucks, want me to come over and bring you some tea?
(context: she knows you want to fuck, women aren't stupid, and if she likes you and wants it also, she will reply with " that's so nice, ok." or she will reply with "no".

or

Me: Yo, I'm going to get high and go watch the jungle book, want to come?
Her : How about Sunday morning?
Me: Not sure what's going on, I'll write you Sunday morning and see what's up and if we can make it work.

I'm not telling you to do this because it works better, a girl either likes you or she doesn't so your text isn't going to make much of a difference, BUT this will save you some stress waiting a few days for a date and nearly eliminate flaking. Be spontaneous, stop making plans, adapt. Never wait around on a woman, that's not what they really want.

Bingo.

This is something I've come to realize. Overgaming is easy when you're sitting on the net most of the time and overthinking every goddamn thing over text.

What is the perfect response?

She dodged? What did I screw up?

This can get some people caught in an infinite loop of being hypersensitive and overreactive about every damn thing a girl says or texts because he thinks some knowledge of game gives him magical powers over the hormones of every girl he meets.

It doesn't.

Game gives you an edge. It keeps you out of stupid situations and tells you sometimes you just need to sack up and make a move.

Getting your ego so tied up in a single text, seeing it as rejection, and keeping you from ACTING is anti-game.

You can't control every situation.

If I had backed off of instances like this where girls weren't responding amazingly in text I would've missed bangs and some really sweet girls.

[LeoneVolpe]

You're stressing yourself out by putting all your eggs in one basket with this chick. My recommendation is to branch out and start talking to other girls as well. If you do this, you won't fixate on micro-plays like crafting the "perfect" reply to one particular girl's texts.

Think of it like this:

Imagine you're unemployed and have been looking for work for weeks. You've sent out resumes to a bunch of places you'd be interested in working, but no one's gotten back to you. Finally, you receive a call from the company you're most interested in working for and they schedule an interview with you. The stakes are high. If you fuck this up, you might end up on Skid Row. Knowing this, you proceed to go into your interview and completely bomb it. The pressure was just too much for you, and you choke.

^ This is what it's like when you take a "sniper approach" to chicks, pursuing just one at a time.

Now imagine you're unemployed but have managed to secure a few different interviews that same week. You now feel like you have a bit of a safety net, right? It suddenly isn't so important for you to knock it out of the park with any one interview in particular because you know there are other employers interested in you. Just knowing you have options takes the pressure off, you're relaxed and ace your interviews. Next thing you know you're receiving a couple of job offers and now you get to choose which way you want to go.

^ This is what it's like when you utilize a "wide net approach" to chicks, pursuing many at once.

Pursuing multiple girls not only increases your odds of getting some, but ironically helps improve the likelihood of your getting with the one you really want because you won't come off so desperate and clingy.

[XPQ22]

Most flakes don't propose an alternate day to meet, which means they aren't really interested or a better option turned up.

She made a counteroffer, which in my experience is actually fairly unusual and usually means you're still at the top of the heap but something legit came up.

So, she's not free Wednesday, and you're not free Friday. So what? There are plenty of other days in the week.

Should've negotiated this one. There's a difference between being "needy" and showing a "normal" level of interest. If I had to choose between playing total "aloof game" vs. giving some level of indication that she's a girl I want to move on, I'm going to go with the latter option. Someone's got to pick the ball up and run with it a little bit, as a situation where two people are trying to out-I'm-really-busy each other is going nowhere fast.

So, negotiate some other day until you find one that works. It's not beta. There's no law says you can't.

[Yeezy3]

Awesome info guys. I think everyone knocked it out of the park with their insight. I do have tendency to over-analyze and that's essentially what I was doing here. I ended up proposing later Friday evening as my Christmas party gets over early. I'll see what she says back. I think my biggest worry is coming off as being needy or beta which is actually having a negative effect by me trying to craft the perfect response to every text. I need to find a balance.

[XPQ22]

(12-07-2016 10:05 AM)Yeezy3 Wrote:  

Awesome info guys. I think everyone knocked it out of the park with their insight. I do have tendency to over-analyze and that's essentially what I was doing here. I ended up proposing later Friday evening as my Christmas party gets over early. I'll see what she says back. I think my biggest worry is coming off as being needy or beta which is actually having a negative effect by me trying to craft the perfect response to every text. I need to find a balance.

Yep. There's a difference between being needy and having a chick you're interested in feel desired. Neediness would be calling her out on her flake in a hostile manner, acting butthurt about it, trying to lay the pressure on to conform to your schedule, or general sad acts of supplication/begging.

Having her feel desired on the other hand isn't necessarily a bad thing at all.

Too much reading of some online "game academics" and not enough time doing boots-on-the-ground dates and approaches will cause one to worry about "AM I BETA?!" too much, as surely as night follows day.

[Kaii]

(12-07-2016 10:13 AM)XPQ22 Wrote:  

(12-07-2016 10:05 AM)Yeezy3 Wrote:  

Awesome info guys. I think everyone knocked it out of the park with their insight. I do have tendency to over-analyze and that's essentially what I was doing here. I ended up proposing later Friday evening as my Christmas party gets over early. I'll see what she says back. I think my biggest worry is coming off as being needy or beta which is actually having a negative effect by me trying to craft the perfect response to every text. I need to find a balance.

Yep. There's a difference between being needy and having a chick you're interested in feel desired. Neediness would be calling her out on her flake in a hostile manner, acting butthurt about it, trying to lay the pressure on to conform to your schedule, or general sad acts of supplication/begging.

Having her feel desired on the other hand isn't necessarily a bad thing at all.

Too much reading of some online "game academics" and not enough time doing boots-on-the-ground dates and approaches will cause one to worry about "AM I BETA?!" too much, as surely as night follows day.

[Yeezy3]

Update.

After she proposed switching our meet up from Wednesday to Friday, I countered with pushing it back til 9 instead of 6, due to plans I already had. Still waiting to hear confirmation on that. But something else just happened. We follow each other on snap chat and she just posted a story on snapchat of her and a guy playing scrabble out at a bar. Keep in mind tonight was the original night we had planned to meet for happy hour, before she suggested Friday. From my point of view it looks like she got a better offer for the tonight meet up with me.

My question is, how do I play this from here? Should I toss this one to the curb and move on, or if she gets back to me and wants to meet on Friday should I still continue as planned? Not gonna lie, I was kinda ticked when I saw the snapchat. But then again, I'm doing the same thing so can't be mad.

[philosophical_recovery]

(12-07-2016 09:53 PM)Yeezy3 Wrote:  

Update.

After she proposed switching our meet up from Wednesday to Friday, I countered with pushing it back til 9 instead of 6, due to plans I already had. Still waiting to hear confirmation on that. But something else just happened. We follow each other on snap chat and she just posted a story on snapchat of her and a guy playing scrabble out at a bar. Keep in mind tonight was the original night we had planned to meet for happy hour, before she suggested Friday. From my point of view it looks like she got a better offer for the tonight meet up with me.

My question is, how do I play this from here? Should I toss this one to the curb and move on, or if she gets back to me and wants to meet on Friday should I still continue as planned? Not gonna lie, I was kinda ticked when I saw the snapchat. But then again, I'm doing the same thing so can't be mad.

Guess what?

I don't have facebook anymore.

Or snapchat.

I don't know what the fuck a girl is doing unless she tells me. Usually they do anyway.

Unless it's something actually serious, I don't care.

Until I get the bang, I really don't care and it's a waste of my time to think about it.

I focus on keeping my head straight and going for the lay.

Everything else is a distraction that will just make you second guess, lose frame, and get out of the proper mindset.

You're already stepping down with weak frame, calling him a "better offer", to some other dude you don't know because of some chick playing scrabble with him.

Really?

You haven't banged her. Don't give a shit about what she's doing until that happens. If she acts shady after you bang, then cut her loose. But until then, she owes you absolutely nothing and you should expect absolutely nothing.

[Yeezy3]

(12-07-2016 10:01 PM)philosophical_recovery Wrote:  

(12-07-2016 09:53 PM)Yeezy3 Wrote:  

Update.

After she proposed switching our meet up from Wednesday to Friday, I countered with pushing it back til 9 instead of 6, due to plans I already had. Still waiting to hear confirmation on that. But something else just happened. We follow each other on snap chat and she just posted a story on snapchat of her and a guy playing scrabble out at a bar. Keep in mind tonight was the original night we had planned to meet for happy hour, before she suggested Friday. From my point of view it looks like she got a better offer for the tonight meet up with me.

My question is, how do I play this from here? Should I toss this one to the curb and move on, or if she gets back to me and wants to meet on Friday should I still continue as planned? Not gonna lie, I was kinda ticked when I saw the snapchat. But then again, I'm doing the same thing so can't be mad.

Guess what?

I don't have facebook anymore.

Or snapchat.

I don't know what the fuck a girl is doing unless she tells me. Usually they do anyway.

Unless it's something actually serious, I don't care.

Until I get the bang, I really don't care and it's a waste of my time to think about it.

I focus on keeping my head straight and going for the lay.

Everything else is a distraction that will just make you second guess, lose frame, and get out of the proper mindset.

You're already stepping down with weak frame, calling him a "better offer", to some other dude you don't know because of some chick playing scrabble with him.

Really?

You haven't banged her. Don't give a shit about what she's doing until that happens. If she acts shady after you bang, then cut her loose. But until then, she owes you absolutely nothing and you should expect absolutely nothing.

What I meant was a "better offer" in her eyes. Not that I think this dude is better than me. But I get what you're saying. You're right though, I need to go into this with one goal and mind, not give in to outside distractions. Need to build up my rolodex.