[RexImperator]

Quote:

Looks like you've got yourself a girlfriend

That's not such a bad thing. Especially since I've never had one. So it's a new experience for me.

Also, maybe enjoying some ordinary mediocrity is just what I need right now. I'll have plenty of challenge coming my way in the year ahead.

I mean, does it always have to be all about "spin da platezzz"?

As Vox Day would say, you can't go gamma/omega-->alpha. There has to be a delta phase first.

[PapayaTapper]

(01-11-2017 03:48 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  

Quote:

Looks like you've got yourself a girlfriend

That's not such a bad thing. Especially since I've never had one. So it's a new experience for me.

Also, maybe enjoying some ordinary mediocrity is just what I need right now. I'll have plenty of challenge coming my way in the year ahead.

I mean, does it always have to be all about "spin da platezzz"?

As Vox Day would say, you can't go gamma/omega-->alpha. There has to be a delta phase first.

Brings a tear to my eye

[heavy]

I tend to think let it happen. You'll learn a lot by screwing up with this chick.

I say that only halfway kidding. I would not be where I am today if I hadn't married and divorced in my 20s. Sure, I'd love to go back and redo it starting at 18 years old with the red pill, but that wasn't where I started.\n
I've said it in another thread. You'll be back when she does some thing stupid and really pisses you off, or she breaks up / cheats on you, or you marry her and she divorces you, or whatever. Or maybe next week when you want to cheat on her, who knows.

Ying-yang. There's a time to give in to a relationship, there's a time to make an executive decision to move on (despite being addicted to her).

Again, I don't really know all the details (if she's your "soulmate" or you're just enjoying her body), I'm just saying make a decision and live with it. Then tomorrow or next week or years from now, make a different more informed decision.

***Disclaimer: Don't knock her up.***

[RexImperator]

Quote:

You'll learn a lot by screwing up with this chick.

Somehow I have a hunch this is inevitable.

[General Stalin]

Man this has been a rollercoaster. Great thread 9/10 (remember boys there are no true 10's right?)

I think given your situation and history, there is no problem with dating this girl for a while and seeing where it goes if you are attracted to her and genuinely enjoy her company. Just don't get too comfortable and stagnant. Keep working to improve yourself and your life, as well as your attitude and interactions towards the opposite sex.

When I saw that post about the bang I was like

[Ringo]

(01-11-2017 03:48 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  

Quote:

Looks like you've got yourself a girlfriend

That's not such a bad thing. Especially since I've never had one. So it's a new experience for me.

Also, maybe enjoying some ordinary mediocrity is just what I need right now. I'll have plenty of challenge coming my way in the year ahead.

I mean, does it always have to be all about "spin da platezzz"?

As Vox Day would say, you can't go gamma/omega-->alpha. There has to be a delta phase first.

I agree, and it's experience you can build upon for future relationships.

My reservations towards this are only because 1. (from what I remember) you said you were only mildly attracted to her and 2. you have a clear streak of conformism with your situation, which this relationship only tends to aggravate.

It's not about whether or not you should have a girl. Maybe your feelings towards her evolved. If so, I encourage you to keep at it.

If they haven't, then this is about wasting time (yours and hers), and settling into something that is comfortable but has no future.

Maybe I'm wrong but that's what I get as I look in from the outside. Wish you the best either way.

[Rhyme or Reason]

(01-11-2017 03:48 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  

Quote:

Looks like you've got yourself a girlfriend

That's not such a bad thing. Especially since I've never had one. So it's a new experience for me.

Also, maybe enjoying some ordinary mediocrity is just what I need right now. I'll have plenty of challenge coming my way in the year ahead.

I mean, does it always have to be all about "spin da platezzz"?

As Vox Day would say, you can't go gamma/omega-->alpha. There has to be a delta phase first.

Agreed, it does not always have to be about spinnin' dem plates. I'm also in agreement with the idea that you could learn from a lot from an LTR.

...but I don't want you to sell yourself short either!

The "mediocre chick convinces dude to reluctantly commit for LTR" model is a recipe for disaster.

To put it bluntly: LTR's...well they suck. They're a depreciating asset, as are most women frankly.

They can be painful, tiring, and drain you of that wanderer / nomadic free spirit attitude. Should you choose to be in an LTR with this broad, you should expect the above to happen at some point. Not trying to be negative but just prepare you as you indicated this would be your first.

Rex, you're clearly an intelligent and self aware dude (if maybe a bit too self critical). If you think you can do better it's probably because you can.

Since you indicated that you don't really like banging this broad I would highly suggest NOT going down the LTR route with her as this sentiment will increase exponentially once you're in that 'relationship mode' with this girl. Trust me this is how all my relationships have gone south.

Time is also a factor. I'm assuming you're getting on in years and if fatherhood or marriage is your goal, you'd be wise not to throw good time after bad by giving it a go with someone you're only lukewarm about.

Just my .02.

[Chowder Head]

(01-10-2017 08:31 PM)realologist Wrote:  

(01-10-2017 06:31 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  

Quote:

you're in the "keep her" (for now) or "throw her back" position...much better than "I just got dumped" spot...seems to me

This turned out to be the case and we patched things up...she needed some comfort. I actually gave her a couple of compliments, the first ones yet.

The sex has actually gotten a little more interesting.

In what way?

She putting it down to keep you around.

Now that was funny!

I thought this thread was dead a month ago. Its good to see the progress Rex has made.
Rex, I got a question... you mentioned earlier that your gf dropped 100 lbs, how does she look? Does she have a lot loose skin? If that's too personal, no need to answer.

And great advice from Rhyme or Reason in the last post.

[RexImperator]

Quote:

Maybe your feelings towards her evolved. If so, I encourage you to keep at it.

We have some common interests and I do enjoy her company, and not just for sex. Some physical features are not all that I would personally prefer but she did have surgery for the loose skin.

[RexImperator]

Last night we had a bit of a political argument after I made some offhand Trump comments. Apparently supporting gay marriage is a big thing for her.

I won't be surprised if this causes problems.

[RexImperator]

Well, it's over. I guess you guys got your wish.

[kaotic]

(01-18-2017 01:51 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  

Well, it's over. I guess you guys got your wish.

It wasn't our wish, it was just inevitable, it always is.

Give us some details on the break up ?


It's time to move onto greener pastures.

[RexImperator]

I said some stuff she didn't like about teh ghey, and I guess the Trump stuff was bugging her. She also said she was romantic and needed someone who made her feel more "special".

I was honest a few weeks back about not being anywhere near ready in my life to seriously consider marriage and kids.

She didn't want to break up in person because seeing me would "make her cave" and so sent a long text.

So I agreed to let her go.

[kaotic]

(01-18-2017 03:07 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  

I said some stuff she didn't like about teh ghey, and I guess the Trump stuff was bugging her. She also said she was romantic and needed someone who made her feel more "special".

I was honest a few weeks back about not being anywhere near ready in my life to seriously consider marriage and kids.

She didn't want to break up in person because seeing me would "make her cave" and so sent a long text.

So I agreed to let her go.

That's fine in my eyes, time to move along.

Your next trial by fire, is whens she comes back, and she WILL come back.

You'll have to now impose the Do Not Contact Rule.

[Ringo]

(01-18-2017 01:51 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  

Well, it's over. I guess you guys got your wish.

You probably meant this tongue-in-cheek.

But just keep in mind that the reason why people dedicated time to helping you and contributing to this thread is we all want to help you change your life for the better (if that's what you want too).

One of the best posts ever on this forum, in my opinion, is Jariel's Only Rule for Ex's:

(08-19-2014 07:07 AM)jariel Wrote:  

If a chick left you or you left her, there was a reason for it.

Regardless of which side of the table you're on, there is probably some of level of blame that can be shared as to how you got there.

With that being said, all that matters is that you got there.

And the only rule is, you can't go back.

When women leave you, sometimes they come back, after they've dealt with some other dicks, and found that the grass wasn't greener. They become nostalgic about your old relationship, they'll say things like "you were the only one who truly knew me", "I didn't realize what I had until it was gone", or "I know it will take some time, but I think we should give it another chance".

No bitch, you're out of time.

If the separation was on you, there was a reason you wanted to leave her behind, don't forget that, don't allow good memories to whitewash the reality.

She wasn't that bitch.

Move on, you can find her, she is out there.

Read this and re-read this everytime you get the urge to contact your ex (or when she contacts you).

I have to do it myself from time to time - I have an ex that I run into occasionally who I have a huge soft spot for.

The No Contact Thread can also be useful if you want to commit to it. It's also a good spot to vent if you feel like breaking the no contact rule.

[Rhyme or Reason]

Don't let her change your mind about the breakup, whatever you do. And she will try, sure as the sun will rise.

[realologist]

She will try to contact you again. She will try to get back together with you. When she does, don't respond. Delete the message right away.

Now is the time to take the momentum you have from dating her and use it to get and fuck other girls. The sooner you do that, the sooner she will fade from your memory and the sooner your success with women becomes more consistent.

[RexImperator]

Does it matter knowing why you lost a girl? (I.e. Was I too "beta" or did I not give enough comfort, etc. for the purposes of learning lessons for the future?)

[Wahawahwah]

(01-21-2017 02:39 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  

Does it matter knowing why you lost a girl? (I.e. Was I too "beta" or did I not give enough comfort, etc. for the purposes of learning lessons for the future?)

Absolutely. I mean, if you're trying to get good at something, it is important to learn from your failures and then not keep making the same mistakes again right. Even when it isn't necessarily something you did that pushed the relationship over the edge, it is useful to think about what caused the failure, at least early on in your journey to improvement. After a few failures, patterns start emerging and some things tend to repeat themselves, at which point you can start moving on without caring why stuff happened. But initially at least, you want to reflect a bit more on your failures.

[RexImperator]

Quote:

you want to reflect a bit more on your failures.

So how do I figure that out especially when women may not tell you the real reason?

You have to have it happen a few times to find a pattern?

[realologist]

(01-21-2017 05:39 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  

Quote:

you want to reflect a bit more on your failures.

So how do I figure that out especially when women may not tell you the real reason?

You have to have it happen a few times to find a pattern?

Ding ding ding! So get out there. Date more women. When those relationships fail, you'll learn much more about relationships, women and what works/doesn't work.

[Rhyme or Reason]

Yeah you want to learn from mistakes. Don't dwell on them though. But i have a feeling your trump / gay people conversation had a hand in this, and as I said a few pages back, never ever talk red pill with chicks. Just don't do it. They ARE NOT us guys on the forum. They're CHICKS.

CHICKS!!!!!!

Take them for what they are and DO NOT...DO NOT try to engage them on that kind of level, for reasons I think you may have learned by now from this experience.

[Tigre]

(01-21-2017 02:39 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  

Does it matter knowing why you lost a girl? (I.e. Was I too "beta" or did I not give enough comfort, etc. for the purposes of learning lessons for the future?)

From what I could glean from reading the thread:

You didn't demonstrate a high enough level of interest in her. She could tell you weren't all in.

She had enough girl game to earn a piece of your free time and a regular date on your fuck calendar. But not enough that you wanted to lock her down and make her a part of your life.

So she will find some kind of reason that lets her think she rejected you. Then she moves on to find someone who will wife her up.

[RexImperator]

The gay thing definitely made her mad for some reason. She claimed she wasn't political, but with these casual progressive types, I think this stuff is so ingrained (brainwashed) in them that they don't even realize it's politics. It's fully internalized. That's how the left has been so successful. It's a new secular religion that has been created.

[Giovonny]

Anyone else needs a sex therapist... let me know.