Great thread and very !
My mom and dad divorced when I was 12. Although she never explicitly badmouthed him in front of me, she did talk smack about his side of the family, who according to her, poisoned him against her and caused most of their problems.
The thing is I clearly remember my dad beating up on my mom and hitting me on numerous occasions (it went a little beyond "spankings"). I'd like to believe that I had deserved those beatings but I later learned that he was a petty fucker who would just punish me and my mom for minor transgressions.
Despite all of that, I decided to reconnect with him about 6 years ago. It was one of the weirdest moments of my life: no hug, no genuine smile from either of us, and not even an exclamation of happiness. He shook my hand and we had dinner with my grandparents. I stayed in touch with him for about a month after that but it was very awkward and didn't feel natural. There was just nothing in common between us and I still had residual anger from how he treated me in my childhood. I've long since let go of all the anger towards him and at this point it's just indifference...
I've said it before in another thread that whenever I see a happy family with a father who's genuinely interested in his kids and plays with them, I feel jealous. And you guys who do have supportive dads h ave no idea how lucky you are..
My mom and dad divorced when I was 12. Although she never explicitly badmouthed him in front of me, she did talk smack about his side of the family, who according to her, poisoned him against her and caused most of their problems.
The thing is I clearly remember my dad beating up on my mom and hitting me on numerous occasions (it went a little beyond "spankings"). I'd like to believe that I had deserved those beatings but I later learned that he was a petty fucker who would just punish me and my mom for minor transgressions.
Despite all of that, I decided to reconnect with him about 6 years ago. It was one of the weirdest moments of my life: no hug, no genuine smile from either of us, and not even an exclamation of happiness. He shook my hand and we had dinner with my grandparents. I stayed in touch with him for about a month after that but it was very awkward and didn't feel natural. There was just nothing in common between us and I still had residual anger from how he treated me in my childhood. I've long since let go of all the anger towards him and at this point it's just indifference...
I've said it before in another thread that whenever I see a happy family with a father who's genuinely interested in his kids and plays with them, I feel jealous. And you guys who do have supportive dads h ave no idea how lucky you are..