[Goldin Boy]

(06-02-2016 03:41 PM)godzilla Wrote:  

I have a friend who goes ape shit when he gets tailgated, one time a small group of college age chicks did it, he let them pass, then sped up and followed them for a good 1/2 hour until they pulled in to a driveway, they were freaking out.

No offense but your friends a self-important idiot...Being tailgated isn't that big of a deal.

Road rage is an ego/pride thing. He probably won't grow of it. There's no excuse for following someone just because your mad the cut you off or tailgated you. What if that guy is off his psychoactive meds and/or he has a gun in the glove box? A friend taught me to drive and he told me: "Driving is just about getting where you have to go. Assume that no one else knows what they're doing and don't take anything personal."

Let me tell you story:

I'm from NYC. If you've haven't been people drive fast and aggressively. I live elsewhere, in small rural town, in the state now. People drive much slower here.

Recently I was driving to work on a highway(limit 65MPH) doing about 80MPH. Three-lane highway, in the leftmost lane. There's one car, BMW, in the middle lane. I'm less than 50 ft from passing the beamer when he switches into my lane without signaling.

Again they drive slow: I signal into the middle-lane without slowing down. The guy again tries to cut me off in this lane but again, I signal into the right lane without slowing down (I'm outmaneuvering this guy in an 02 Elantra ). This makes him mad so he follows me and takes a picture of my license plate.


That's fucking stupid. Is he going to report me(a cop can't write a ticket if they don't see the infraction?. What's he going to tell them: "Well officer I failed to signal twice while trying to cut-off another motorist but I couldn't. I'd like to write him a summons."

Take what you want from the story but I find it funny how most people have 0 state control and let other's get to them so easily.

[joost]

If you have birds nearby, throw a bunch of breadcrumbs or any other food birds love filled with laxatives. If you're lucky to have a bunch of pigeons nearby, his car will have a lot of shit. If it is a sunny day, the shit will dry and will be difficult to remove.

[JacksonRev]

Considering I have to give Lat/Long coordinates to get to my house, I'd go out to check on someone that parked in front of my house because they're probably broke down or lost.

(06-02-2016 06:03 AM)realologist Wrote:  

Guys, I bought a bird feeder for my yard and this squirrel keeps sneaking on my property and eating bird seeds. I know it's supposed to be Darwin's Law and all but can't that squirrel just eats some nuts or acorns instead. It really pisses me off because the birds don't come anymore and the squirrel has been there for over 24 hours and invited all his friends. They are squirrelly as fuck.

I know this was a joke, but pour the juice from a jar of jalepenos over bird seed to keep out squirrels. Birds don't have receptors for capsicum, so they won't notice it, but squirrels won't touch it.

[AboveAverageJoe]

Road rage in a person is the un-sexiest shit ever. Remember that. Also don't text and drive, or drink and drive for that matter.

[Leonard D Neubache]

(06-04-2016 07:24 AM)Goldin Boy Wrote:  

...
Recently I was driving to work on a highway(limit 65MPH) doing about 80MPH. Three-lane highway, in the leftmost lane. There's one car, BMW, in the middle lane. I'm less than 50 ft from passing the beamer when he switches into my lane without signaling.
...

Nothing more pathetic than a self appointed traffic cop using their vehicle as a speed limiter.

I don't tend to drive fast, but I still routinely deal with losers doing 10kph below the speed limit that magically drop the hammer when you try to overtake them.

[RIslander]

Hey guys don't you hate it when you wake up in the morning constipated and have to go to work? I know I'm going to have to shit when I get there but I'd rather go at home so I can take a shower after. Any advice on what to do the night before to ensure a timely morning shit?

[philosophical_recovery]

(06-04-2016 11:16 AM)RIslander Wrote:  

Hey guys don't you hate it when you wake up in the morning constipated and have to go to work? I know I'm going to have to shit when I get there but I'd rather go at home so I can take a shower after. Any advice on what to do the night before to ensure a timely morning shit?

Not sure if serious, but ZMA at night then morning coffee = almost guaranteed healthy morning logs.

[Suits]

Hey guys, don't you hate it when you see that your mailbox is full of letters, but it is just full of junk mail?

Like, come on!

[RIslander]

(06-04-2016 11:55 AM)Suits Wrote:  

Hey guys, don't you hate it when you see that your mailbox is full of letters, but it is just full of junk mail?

Like, come on!

[spokepoker]

Sometimes neighbor's guests park in front of my place, I don't care at all.
When I used to live in ghetto-ass areas, it was more of a concern, were they druggies, were they scopin out my place to hit it, what are they up to to be parked in front of my place. Had shady ass fucks come by wanting to get in my backyard to 'read your meter', so I'd ask to see their work order (none of course) and tell them to get the fuck out, and if I ever saw them again I'd fucking shoot them. Pretty sure they robbed the people down that street.

Now I live in a nice quiet neighborhood, everyone knows everyone, and everything is chill.

[John Michael Kane]

I have a private driveway which doesn't have street access, so this isn't a problem. Just buy a home on top of a hill and you don't need to worry about it.

[Suits]

Hey guys, one of my friend has a private driveway that never shuts up about.

Wouldn't that piss you off!

Any ideas?

[Comte De St. Germain]

(06-04-2016 11:43 PM)Suits Wrote:  

Hey guys, one of my friend has a private driveway that never shuts up about.

Wouldn't that piss you off!

Any ideas?

Get an upper end drive way to upstage him. Then proceed to throw shit at him all while having applied Baking Soda.

[RIslander]

Hey guys,

All the women in my workplace have synced their periods and are now bitchy on the same days. I can't get any work done.

Any ideas?

[Gustavus Adolphus]

(06-04-2016 11:43 PM)Suits Wrote:  

Hey guys, one of my friend has a private driveway that never shuts up about.

Wouldn't that piss you off!

Any ideas?

What an asshole.

All kidding aside, my dad used to go off the deep end when I'd come home hammered and leave my truck tucked up next to the mailbox in front of the house. Our mailman didn't give a shit and would just cruise by to the next stop. So I learned the hard way, park wherever, don't block the postman.

[Ibagemyoutagem]

I remember back in the day my front neighbor would park his car on the other side of the small street . So When we reverse out into the street it would be a hassle since his car is right there taking up half the street on our exit. He had a full empty parking lot in front, he had many MANY other places he couldve parked it where it wouldve unconvinced no one. I remember in my shitty 94 Camry that I was reversing and for some reason I was so focused on putting my seatbelt on and left my car in reverse that I hit it and made a huge dent on the front driver side. While no one was there, and my car had no damage to it , the neighbor had to know it was me. (keep in mind I barely learned to drive) He didn't say anything because 1 the car probably didnt have insurance and 2 he didn't speak English. But ever since the day he found out , hes never parked his car there again.

[Chauncey]

Hey guys,

Don't you love it when Anonymous Bosch checks into a throwaway thread and he pops off a 400 word essay that drops several nuggets of wisdom and makes you think about real life shit for a minute?

Thanks AB.

[AboveAverageJoe]

Shheeeeiiiitttt! I get pissed if someone parks in front of their own house. As far as my house goes, nobody better even drive past it.

[Columbo]

When someone parks on the lawn I just repaired from the winter, I print one of these 'You park like an asshole' cards you can find online, detailing why he or she is an asshole who don't give a shit about private property. Kind of funny to watch the reactions. It gives them a warning, next time I sprinkle some big ass nails by accident...

[fortysix]

What pisses me off is that I live in an apartment on a very crowded street, and I've only got one parking space that I share with my girl that lives with me. This means that I spend a crap-load of time driving around the street after work looking for a parking spot to open up - sometimes I spend up to twenty minutes driving around, and need to park fifteen or twenty minutes away.

Recently, some bums parked their huge-ass trailers on my street - they waited till there was parking available during the day, when people are at work, and parked their huge ass RV trailer, easily taking up three parking spaces that could otherwise be used by productive members of society such as myself.

Ok, well the story doesn't end there.

Very early this morning, I saw these fuckers starting up their RV trailer, driving out of the parking space, and then placing five fucking cones and a little "no parking sign" in the spot where their huge ass RV was just parked - presumably they are going to go pick something up in their huge ass RV and then come back and take that space again.

My thought was to run downstairs after they left and throw their cones to the fucking garbage so that people would take up their space asap, and they would come back and have nowhere to park, just like me, but I ended up just going to work

BTW - this is in an alright neighborhood in LA - I live on one of the few streets where the parking restrictions are lax and you can actually park overnight outside. There is also a nice starbucks and riteaid literally across the street where these assholes can hang out and smoke cigarettes all day - basically, bum heaven.

[The Beast1]

^^^
In New England during the winter, people had a habit of putting up resin chairs, trash cans, and other assorted junk to reserve their neatly shoveled parking spot from poachers.

Since I had off street parking and the Sox suck, I always had the pleasure of throwing the junk item back onto the side walk and walking along.

In short, move the cones. Only honor keeps their spot and frankly i'm a vindictive ass who enjoys trolling.

[Jean Valjean]

(06-01-2016 07:11 PM)HonantheBarbarian Wrote:  

It sketches me out, but what can you do?

Wouldn't it be more concerning if they were to park right on the border between being in front of your house, and being in front of your neighbor's house? That could indicate that they're trying to make you think that perhaps they're a guest of your neighbor's, whilst simultaneously making your neighbor think that perhaps they're a guest of yours.

This was a key strategy for avoiding suspicion, mentioned in Ten Consecutive Years Living In Cars: Living, Traveling, Camping, Attending College and Performing Surveillance in Cars---and Loving It!. Especially if the person has heavily tinted windows, there's a possibility he's trying to surreptitiously take photos and gather other information as part of a private investigation. On the other hand, he could just be someone looking for a place to park while he lives out of his car.

On the other hand, if he parks right in front of your house, that could also be a ploy to make you think, "If he were trying to avoid suspicion, he wouldn't park right there, so therefore he must not be up to anything bad." Thus, this becomes a battle of wits not unlike the one between Wesley and Vizzini in The Princess Bride.

[Kona]

The camper is probably the FBI surveiling you. I'd watch out.

Aloha!

[Foolsgo1d]

You guys should try parking in British towns and cities. Parking wardens, parking CCTV with automatic registration recognition software, private land clampers, restricted areas, loading bay only, disabled only, mother & kid only and last but not least, permit holders only.

[Olav]

Here in Lebanon, a guy once tried to do that (blocked my driveway too). Slashed his tires, he had to remove his car with a truck. Taught him never to do it again