Should I move from DC to Salt Lake City?
04-25-2016, 01:06 AM
This is long overdue and has been delayed mainly due to the feeling that I haven't been here long enough. But I figure that I owe most of you a progress report. So I decided to make the jump to Salt Lake City, and:
The Positives:
-The people overall are friendlier. People are more willing to smile and nod their heads in the street. Conversations can be had easier with a random person in a proper environment. And a person who is fairly extroverted can easily make friends. And despite how reclusive they can be at times, Mormons are generally a cordial, tolerant, and pleasant group of people. SLC for me is friendly to the point that I'm somewhat caught off guard in how to react due to the routine nastiness and passive-aggressiveness I constantly dealt with back in DC. I'll elaborate my personal hurdle about this later.
-The weather. Now it isn't California weather, and from what I'm hearing, 4-6 months in SLC is mostly snow or cold weather. But that's still better than the 6-8 months of cold weather or humidity heat in DC.
-Outdoor activities are everywhere and from what I've heard are the main attractions of the state, especially considering the recent commercial campaign of its national and state parks. From skiing and snowboarding to hiking and biking, if you love the outdoors, you'll love Utah. Even the parks, specifically Liberty Park, are a local social destination.
-Crime is virtually non-existent compared to other cities even of a similar size. And the police I have encountered have been cordial, which is a relief as a black man.
-Politically, Utah's more libertarian than conservative despite it being a hardcore red state. Even though the LDS influence in the state government causes a few unconventional rules with alcohol and nightlife, it's not that oppressive in everyday life and has allowed the state to maintain its infrastructure, build a healthy economy, and have an actual middle class.
-SLC does have somewhat of a counter-culture out of the rebellion of the LDS/Mormon influence of the state. The LDS influence isn't as overbearing in the city as it is in other places especially like Provo and Brigham City. And with that, a lot of counter-culture girls that will be more down for whatever.
-The quality of women here, especially the Mormon girls, are some of the best I've witnessed. However, a lot of them are still Mormon, which although aren't impossible to bed, are more difficult in multiple ways.
-There are a lot of colleges nearby, which is beneficial for any single guy. Besides the U or U (University of Utah), there’s BYU (the Mormon school), Weber State, and Utah State. For some really low hanging fruit, you can also try out the talent at Salt Lake Community College (SLCC).
-It’s closer to a lot of places that I have more interest in visiting like The Bay Area, SoCal, Seattle, Vancouver, Denver, and multiple National Parks. In DC, the only place that I cared to travel to multiple times was NYC.
-The environment is more of a “work to live” atmosphere as opposed to a “live to work” environment on the East Coast. Working a 40 hour job will have all of your needs met financially in comparison to places like NYC and DC where in order to live a decent life, working 50-60 hours is the expectation.
-Race relations are notably better here than in DC and the East Coast. Most people are just neutral and some will be intrigued by your presence if you’re a minority, especially if you’re black. Now you will come into some unwanted customer service and hear some asshats spew subtly racist shit, but those are the minority of encounters. Especially compared to whites and other non-blacks in the East Coast in that while the majority won't say anything racist to you, the same majority will make it well known that you aren't liked nor wanted in other ways.
The Negatives:
-The social scene is very tight-knit. Unless you were raised here or attended a nearby university, finding a social circle is a hurdle.
-Not a lot of social activities to do in general compared to other mid-sized cities, which leaves options of gaming or just meeting people at a minimum. Even SLC tends to cater to families during most evenings, which can be a good or a bad thing depending on where you are in life.
-Closing time for many bars range from last call (12:30am) to 1:00am. And a lot of places, specifically social places are closed or relatively empty on Sundays.
-Downtown SLC is essentially a ghost town from Sunday to Wednesday evenings. Now there are other places that are slightly more "active" like Sugarhouse and Park City, but overall, the Wasatch Front attends church and/or stays home on Sunday.
-For every fine Mormon girl, there’s an overweight friend right beside her. It’s very notable especially among the non-LDS crowd, which is what you’re probably going to be dealing with if you’re in SLC. But then again, I’m one of the weird black guys who aren’t into “thick” women.
-There is a small but notable presence of a - for a lack of a better term - European reject white trash. And while they are a small minority, their actions will stand out if only because their conduct is the norm.
Personal successes:
-In the few months I've been here, I've had more fun and banged more women here in that short time than I did in Washington DC during the last year. And I'm not counting those who've I’m working to close the deal. Most of these females have been white of course, but a sprinkle of sexually repressed Mormon girls and Latinas, one of them being a Mormon Latina.
-I'm able to live in a place of my own. Now I've been out of my parents' home since I was 22, but all of my housing has either been with roommates or with friends. In SLC, you can make in the upper five-digits and live like a king if you know how to handle your money.
-I've traveled to multiple other places for the weekend like Denver, Las Vegas, and Los Angeles, and I have been able to get one bang from all of those trips. Not that those were my main priority, but compared to DC and the East Coast, they came way easier. I plan to eventually take extended trips to the Bay Area, San Diego, and Seattle, areas where if I wanted to set roots in America, it would probably between those three places.
-Despite some stressful transitioning, I have felt more of a peace of mind mentally and psychologically, which is the main reason moving from DC and the East Coast. Honestly, it’s to the point I can feel my life expectancy increase by just moving out to this part of the country.
Personal hurdle:
This isn’t really about SLC but more of a mental hang-up of what I dealt with growing up in DC. Having to grow up in the worst parts of the DMV and being from a place where the people are cliquey, with the only social scenes were either trust-fund douches or ghetto hoodlums, and the women ranging from bitches to cunts, I’ll admit that my socialization skills have been somewhat stunted. The saving grace is that I hung out with a tight knit group of friends, albeit most of them I met in college and most of them scattered across the country afterwards. Coming to a new city where I don't know a soul, I'm quickly realizing that social circle is the best way to meet girls (and people in general). However, a lot of the social circle seems to form from childhood to college.
Dating apps, while an improvement in SLC compared to DC, aren’t too impressive neither given the effort. Now the matches, meetups, “bases”, and hookups I have had in SLC during the few months exceed what I had in DC for initial year I started. At first, I was getting matches, dates, and more out of the ass. But this past week, I had five consecutive flakes ranging from sudden illness, overtime at work, start of a new job, miscommunication of being out of town, and just plain AWOLness. Henceforth, my honeymoon with the apps (and SLC to a certain degree) has deteriorated. And although I have done some approaches mainly at bars, I’ve never been the kind of guy to approach in general. And being from DC, approaching as a non-stereotypical black male is a waste of time at best and a one way ticket to mental anguish at worst. And I don’t want to be known as "that guy" who relies on bars, clubs, and dating apps to get ass, especially since the nightlife scene is very provincial where everyone goes the same several places.
So my question at this point is where do you meet people and form a good circle of friends? The people here are friendly enough to strike a casual conversation with. But as for long term social circles, that’s been sort of an issue since that was nearly impossible for me when I lived in DC. Any advice would do.
tl;dr
SLC - and Utah in general - is a hidden gem that I would recommend any male to at least visit and check out. The state and even most of the city has a very untainted vibe about it; untainted of the feminist, SJW, urban subculture, and other ills that have made America socially inhospitable for men to live in. You’re allowed to be as masculine as you want and won’t get penalized. Politically, it's more libertarian than conservative despite of the LDS influence in the state's politics. My hope on a selfish level is that the South Central and Oakland “crowd” doesn’t flock out here en masse in order to fuck it up for the “oreos” like myself who live out here and want to come here. Anyone can take that last sentence in any context, but I have spent enough of my life answering to and for a subculture I not only go out of my way to not resemble but vehemently hate. It’s also one the reasons why I moved from DC and the East Coast. SLC and Utah have been good so far, but I am seeing some benign scratches on the rose-colored glasses. But on an optimistic note, I anticipate that those scratches won’t develop into cracks and more likely will get patched in due time.