Camping is the shit.
Hit up a group of girls you want to bang, inject other cool dudes in the mix, drive out to nowhere, and let the fun commence. Girls will almost always agree to a camping trip, especially if they own a tent (most do, as music festivals are becoming more popular). Camping is a fantastic way to get some girls in a place overnight, have some booze, and then cuddle up at the end of the night.
In terms of game, it demolishes any logistical problems you might have. They're with you in an overnight situation, where the booze overfloweth, and everyone is having fun. You get to choose exactly who is coming in terms of competition. Even better - if you tell a girl "let's go get a hotel room", she hears that as "let's go bang." But if you tell a girl "let's go camping" she hears it as "let's go on an adventure together!"
I write this because growing up, I was raised by a single mother. Our idea of a vacation was to go down the shore, rent a house for a week, and then play on the beach. I didn't have a father figure growing up, so camping was never a "thing".
Ironically, my ex-wife (raised by a military veteran) got me into camping. At first I was like "that sounds stupid, I don't poop in the woods, blah blah blah", and now it's one of my favorite pastimes.
Booze, cigars, campfire, meat over an open flame, and nature are some of life's greatest pleasures. It's something you can do with your guy friends, or you can bring some ladies with you. I've never had a bad camping trip.
Here is the good news:
- Camping is easy to get into
- It's cheap as hell
- You'll get bangs, enjoy yourself, and do manly things like chop wood, smoke cigars, and build a fire
This is a basic guide for weekend camping. It's not meant to teach you how to hike all over the country, but just the basics to take long weekends in the woods.
Basic Concepts
- Get to the camp site early enough to setup while it's light out. You don't want to be setting up in the dark.
- Do not setup camp on a day where it's raining.
- Don't halfass setting up your tent, because if rain gets in it, you're fucked. Getting the rainfly right is the most important part.
- It gets cold at night, even if it's like 70 degrees out during the day. Pack hats, gloves, blankets, etc. Sleeping bag is a must.
- It gets dark out earlier than you would think.
- You can never have enough firewood or water. If you have extra, just store it at home.
- Basic necessities are water, shelter from the rain, and heat
Absolute Necessities
- A tent ($120 - $400. I have a 4 season tent but I camp a lot. 2 and 3 season tents are cheaper, but meant for spring, summer, and fall. Bigger tents are hard to keep warm, so I camp in a 2 person tent. Huge tents are for hunters, or people with kids. Women tend to buy huge tents because most of their camping is at festivals - the good news is they'll usually wind up in yours by the end of the night because 'it's so cold in mine.')
- Hygiene bag (small bag for keeping your deodorant, soap, toothbrush, toothpaste, etc.)
- A sleeping bag ($40 - $120. If it's cold where you live, get one rated for 0 degrees, or even lower).
- Water jug ($15)
- Axe ($15 - $30)
- A flashlight ($3 - $40. I have one that I wear on my head)
- Cooler ($20 - nothing fancy is needed).
- Fire wood ($8 a bundle, you'll go through a few bundles each night)
- Lighter ($2 - $20. I have a zippo)
- Long skewers ($5, if you're not bringing any cookware)
- Cantean ($5, if you're not brining a CamelBak, any type of Nalgene or water jug will do as long as it fits in your backpack)
- Backpack ($15 - $300. I have many backpacks for different situations, but a normal canvas one will do just fine).
- Knife ($20 - $150. Any knife will do as long as it's not a butter knife. Personally, I use a military ka-bar. Check your state's regulations on knives, as they vary).
- Toiletpaper (if the campground doesn't have running water and bathrooms).
- Trash bags or plastic bags to store trash (most campgrounds have a dumpster where you can throw your stuff out each morning)
- Roll of paper towels, or rags
Not absolutely necessary, but makes it much more enjoyable
- Air mattress ($40 - $75, plus a pump)
- Propane stove (when you wake up in the morning and want to make coffee, but don't feel like starting a fire)
- Fold up chair ($20)
- Steel cup for coffee, chili, whatever ($12. preferably one you can put right over the fire and then throw instant coffee into).
- CamelBak backpack (so you can hike and carry water with you)
- Portable phone charger ("We're not gonna use our phones all weekend!" Yeah, right.)
- Propane heater for your tent (personally, I think these are for weenies).
- Portable speaker ($20 - $200. I use a Milwaukee 2792-20 M18 Jobsite Radio/Charger, but any speaker will do).
- Leatherman tool (has a knife, can opener, ruler, pliers, and everything. Every man should own one of these).
- Cast iron skillet (the same stuff I camp with is the same stuff I cook with at home).
- Picnic tent ($120, I don't own one, but it allows you to put a tent over your picnic table and store more stuff outside).
- Ka-Bar military knife: Cut meat, look boss
- Mountain bikes (if you have a bike rack on your car. This is kind of a pain in the ass).
- Cigars (good ones, not philly blunts)
All can be bought here: http://www.cabelas.com
If you're poor, here: http://www.walmart.com
Food
Random note... women are very picky about eating, and they have to eat something every hour or so or they start freaking out. I do not know why this is.
In any event, fill your cooler with some ice and throw stuff in there.
This is the stuff I bring for me and my guy friends:
- Booze (Box of wine for the ladies, whiskey for the men, beer if you drink it)
- Coconuts (break them open by smashing them on a log, then cook them in your skillet)
- Avocados
- Instant coffee (I also put this in my protein shakes)
- Bacon, eggs
- Smoked hunter's sausage (for eating on the go)
- Tunafish (not cans, but the pouches, also for eating on the go)
- Steak, brats, etc. for cooking at night
- Texas chili (made at home)
- Almonds
- Hard boiled eggs
Almost everything meat based tastes good when cooked in a skillet over an open fire.
*Note: Store this stuff in your car when you go to sleep so animals don't try and get it. Even if it's in a cooler.
*Note: Women eat very differently than men, and they need to eat like every hour or they start getting "hangry." Bring with you the following:
- Sandwich bread, sliced cheese, veggie burgers, pop tarts, cookies, lunch meat, trail mix (with chocolate), Chobani yogurt, stuff for smores (chocolate bars, marshmallows, and graham crackers), fruit, etc. Basically, imagine you are bringing a 5 year old with you who doesn't like adult food and pretends to be a vegetarian.
How do I find a camp site? I don't want to poop in the woods, etc etc.
Cost of a campground is usually about $40 for the weekend, and most hold two or three tents. Meaning you can have around 6 for $40.
Many campgrounds have showers and bathrooms with running water if you care about that stuff. Call ahead and ask. If there are no bathrooms and you're finicky about outhouses, just don't eat all that much food and you won't poop all that much. If at all.
Most campgrounds also come with a fire pit, a picnic table, and a fire pit for cooking.
Hiking
- Make sure to get a trail map so you don't get lost (they're free)
- Make sure to bring enough water with you, so you don't die. CamelBak backpacks are perfect for hiking.
- Make sure you know when it gets dark out, and plan accordingly. Hiking in the dark is dangerous.
- Follow the "blazes", which should be marked on your trail map (blazes are splotches of paint on the trees that are different colors. Follow them, and do not go off the trail).
- Bring "snack food", especially if women are coming with you, because they eat constantly. They'll bitch that you've walked a mile, it took almost a half hour, and they've had nothing to eat since breakfast which was over an hour ago.
Clothing
Look the part! Women dig lumberjacks.
- Bandana (I rock a buff. Keeps sweat off your face, looks cool, is good for the gym, etc).
- Red and black flannel shirt
- Utility pants or man jeans
- Boots (I wear Chippewas). Do not attempt to hike in dress shoes, dock siders, flip flops, etc. At minimum for easy hikes sneakers are fine, but bona fide hiking boots are much better. I've never liked hiking sandals, either.
- Wool hat and gloves (if it's cold out)
- Hiking socks (to keep your feet warm)
- Dress warm, and then scale back if need be. You will never regret having too much heat.
- Camouflage hat / pants / anything
- Thermal underwear is helpful if it's cold out, like 50 and under
Impress your friends and the women around you
Here is a fool proof method for starting a fire:
Biggest logs on the bottom (full logs) going one direction, smaller ones on top of those, kindling on the top. If you're lazy, just throw some fire starter in the middle of it.
You look like a manly genius by starting fires so easily.
If you really want to AMOG, let some of the guys try and start one. Then step in and be like "No, this is how it's done."
Final Thoughts
- I buy the good stuff because it lasts forever, and you can use it every year. Some of it you can use in real life, like the cast iron skillets. If you're into survivalism, well, this is the stuff you need.
- Women tend to want to bring a lot of stuff. I don't. I bring my tent, sleeping bag, cooler with food, flashlight, speaker, clothes, a few reusable plates, a skillet, and hygiene bag. I have a backpack just for camping where I store most of my stuff for grab and go purposes.
Personally, I find camping way more fun than going to a resort or renting a beach house. It's also a fantastic way to get a bunch of girls to hang out for a weekend, or just spend some time with the guys.
Hit up a group of girls you want to bang, inject other cool dudes in the mix, drive out to nowhere, and let the fun commence. Girls will almost always agree to a camping trip, especially if they own a tent (most do, as music festivals are becoming more popular). Camping is a fantastic way to get some girls in a place overnight, have some booze, and then cuddle up at the end of the night.
In terms of game, it demolishes any logistical problems you might have. They're with you in an overnight situation, where the booze overfloweth, and everyone is having fun. You get to choose exactly who is coming in terms of competition. Even better - if you tell a girl "let's go get a hotel room", she hears that as "let's go bang." But if you tell a girl "let's go camping" she hears it as "let's go on an adventure together!"
I write this because growing up, I was raised by a single mother. Our idea of a vacation was to go down the shore, rent a house for a week, and then play on the beach. I didn't have a father figure growing up, so camping was never a "thing".
Ironically, my ex-wife (raised by a military veteran) got me into camping. At first I was like "that sounds stupid, I don't poop in the woods, blah blah blah", and now it's one of my favorite pastimes.
Booze, cigars, campfire, meat over an open flame, and nature are some of life's greatest pleasures. It's something you can do with your guy friends, or you can bring some ladies with you. I've never had a bad camping trip.
Here is the good news:
- Camping is easy to get into
- It's cheap as hell
- You'll get bangs, enjoy yourself, and do manly things like chop wood, smoke cigars, and build a fire
This is a basic guide for weekend camping. It's not meant to teach you how to hike all over the country, but just the basics to take long weekends in the woods.
Basic Concepts
- Get to the camp site early enough to setup while it's light out. You don't want to be setting up in the dark.
- Do not setup camp on a day where it's raining.
- Don't halfass setting up your tent, because if rain gets in it, you're fucked. Getting the rainfly right is the most important part.
- It gets cold at night, even if it's like 70 degrees out during the day. Pack hats, gloves, blankets, etc. Sleeping bag is a must.
- It gets dark out earlier than you would think.
- You can never have enough firewood or water. If you have extra, just store it at home.
- Basic necessities are water, shelter from the rain, and heat
Absolute Necessities
- A tent ($120 - $400. I have a 4 season tent but I camp a lot. 2 and 3 season tents are cheaper, but meant for spring, summer, and fall. Bigger tents are hard to keep warm, so I camp in a 2 person tent. Huge tents are for hunters, or people with kids. Women tend to buy huge tents because most of their camping is at festivals - the good news is they'll usually wind up in yours by the end of the night because 'it's so cold in mine.')
- Hygiene bag (small bag for keeping your deodorant, soap, toothbrush, toothpaste, etc.)
- A sleeping bag ($40 - $120. If it's cold where you live, get one rated for 0 degrees, or even lower).
- Water jug ($15)
- Axe ($15 - $30)
- A flashlight ($3 - $40. I have one that I wear on my head)
- Cooler ($20 - nothing fancy is needed).
- Fire wood ($8 a bundle, you'll go through a few bundles each night)
- Lighter ($2 - $20. I have a zippo)
- Long skewers ($5, if you're not bringing any cookware)
- Cantean ($5, if you're not brining a CamelBak, any type of Nalgene or water jug will do as long as it fits in your backpack)
- Backpack ($15 - $300. I have many backpacks for different situations, but a normal canvas one will do just fine).
- Knife ($20 - $150. Any knife will do as long as it's not a butter knife. Personally, I use a military ka-bar. Check your state's regulations on knives, as they vary).
- Toiletpaper (if the campground doesn't have running water and bathrooms).
- Trash bags or plastic bags to store trash (most campgrounds have a dumpster where you can throw your stuff out each morning)
- Roll of paper towels, or rags
Not absolutely necessary, but makes it much more enjoyable
- Air mattress ($40 - $75, plus a pump)
- Propane stove (when you wake up in the morning and want to make coffee, but don't feel like starting a fire)
- Fold up chair ($20)
- Steel cup for coffee, chili, whatever ($12. preferably one you can put right over the fire and then throw instant coffee into).
- CamelBak backpack (so you can hike and carry water with you)
- Portable phone charger ("We're not gonna use our phones all weekend!" Yeah, right.)
- Propane heater for your tent (personally, I think these are for weenies).
- Portable speaker ($20 - $200. I use a Milwaukee 2792-20 M18 Jobsite Radio/Charger, but any speaker will do).
- Leatherman tool (has a knife, can opener, ruler, pliers, and everything. Every man should own one of these).
- Cast iron skillet (the same stuff I camp with is the same stuff I cook with at home).
- Picnic tent ($120, I don't own one, but it allows you to put a tent over your picnic table and store more stuff outside).
- Ka-Bar military knife: Cut meat, look boss
- Mountain bikes (if you have a bike rack on your car. This is kind of a pain in the ass).
- Cigars (good ones, not philly blunts)
All can be bought here: http://www.cabelas.com
If you're poor, here: http://www.walmart.com
Food
Random note... women are very picky about eating, and they have to eat something every hour or so or they start freaking out. I do not know why this is.
In any event, fill your cooler with some ice and throw stuff in there.
This is the stuff I bring for me and my guy friends:
- Booze (Box of wine for the ladies, whiskey for the men, beer if you drink it)
- Coconuts (break them open by smashing them on a log, then cook them in your skillet)
- Avocados
- Instant coffee (I also put this in my protein shakes)
- Bacon, eggs
- Smoked hunter's sausage (for eating on the go)
- Tunafish (not cans, but the pouches, also for eating on the go)
- Steak, brats, etc. for cooking at night
- Texas chili (made at home)
- Almonds
- Hard boiled eggs
Almost everything meat based tastes good when cooked in a skillet over an open fire.
*Note: Store this stuff in your car when you go to sleep so animals don't try and get it. Even if it's in a cooler.
*Note: Women eat very differently than men, and they need to eat like every hour or they start getting "hangry." Bring with you the following:
- Sandwich bread, sliced cheese, veggie burgers, pop tarts, cookies, lunch meat, trail mix (with chocolate), Chobani yogurt, stuff for smores (chocolate bars, marshmallows, and graham crackers), fruit, etc. Basically, imagine you are bringing a 5 year old with you who doesn't like adult food and pretends to be a vegetarian.
How do I find a camp site? I don't want to poop in the woods, etc etc.
Cost of a campground is usually about $40 for the weekend, and most hold two or three tents. Meaning you can have around 6 for $40.
Many campgrounds have showers and bathrooms with running water if you care about that stuff. Call ahead and ask. If there are no bathrooms and you're finicky about outhouses, just don't eat all that much food and you won't poop all that much. If at all.
Most campgrounds also come with a fire pit, a picnic table, and a fire pit for cooking.
Hiking
- Make sure to get a trail map so you don't get lost (they're free)
- Make sure to bring enough water with you, so you don't die. CamelBak backpacks are perfect for hiking.
- Make sure you know when it gets dark out, and plan accordingly. Hiking in the dark is dangerous.
- Follow the "blazes", which should be marked on your trail map (blazes are splotches of paint on the trees that are different colors. Follow them, and do not go off the trail).
- Bring "snack food", especially if women are coming with you, because they eat constantly. They'll bitch that you've walked a mile, it took almost a half hour, and they've had nothing to eat since breakfast which was over an hour ago.
Clothing
Look the part! Women dig lumberjacks.
- Bandana (I rock a buff. Keeps sweat off your face, looks cool, is good for the gym, etc).
- Red and black flannel shirt
- Utility pants or man jeans
- Boots (I wear Chippewas). Do not attempt to hike in dress shoes, dock siders, flip flops, etc. At minimum for easy hikes sneakers are fine, but bona fide hiking boots are much better. I've never liked hiking sandals, either.
- Wool hat and gloves (if it's cold out)
- Hiking socks (to keep your feet warm)
- Dress warm, and then scale back if need be. You will never regret having too much heat.
- Camouflage hat / pants / anything
- Thermal underwear is helpful if it's cold out, like 50 and under
Impress your friends and the women around you
Here is a fool proof method for starting a fire:
Biggest logs on the bottom (full logs) going one direction, smaller ones on top of those, kindling on the top. If you're lazy, just throw some fire starter in the middle of it.
You look like a manly genius by starting fires so easily.
If you really want to AMOG, let some of the guys try and start one. Then step in and be like "No, this is how it's done."
Final Thoughts
- I buy the good stuff because it lasts forever, and you can use it every year. Some of it you can use in real life, like the cast iron skillets. If you're into survivalism, well, this is the stuff you need.
- Women tend to want to bring a lot of stuff. I don't. I bring my tent, sleeping bag, cooler with food, flashlight, speaker, clothes, a few reusable plates, a skillet, and hygiene bag. I have a backpack just for camping where I store most of my stuff for grab and go purposes.
Personally, I find camping way more fun than going to a resort or renting a beach house. It's also a fantastic way to get a bunch of girls to hang out for a weekend, or just spend some time with the guys.