[HankMoody]

True story, take this for what it's worth.

I had just started dating my current girl. She's a solid 8, 8.5 if you like short petite girls.

We had just banged at my place. After, I decided to go out and get some brunch. We walk to bar near my house. We're chilling, hanging out, and I'm like "Babe, I'm gonna go get us some drinks. Hold down the fort." This is like two weeks into it.

When I get back, she is talking to two Australian guys. Completely ignoring me. I hand her a drink, and she and keeps talking to them. She doesn't introduce me, doesn't bring me into the conversation, nothing. This goes on for 20 so I walk inside and start talking to people.

She's still talking to them outside, and doesn't even notice that I'm gone.

In my head, I'm thinking this: "Ok, do I walk up and clown them? Assert my alphaness and pick a fight? Do I walk up and just butt into the conversation, and see what she does? How do I handle this?"

After some thinking, I hop in my car and leave. Not a word to her. About 15 minutes later I get a text:

"Hank, where are you?"
"[other part of town]"
"What? Did you just leave?"
"ya"
"Are you serious? You can't just abandon me like that! How am I supposed to get home?"
"uber"
"That is so fucked up! I can't believe you just left me in your neighborhood? What are you doing?"
"food shopping"
"Are you mad at me because I was talking to those guys?"
"nah"

[hours later]

"Hank, I talked to Joe Beta and he said what you did was really fucked up. You abandoned me! Those guys were probably gay anyway! You can't just leave me in a bar in a strange part of town! I am so mad at you! I deserve much better than this!"
[no response]

[hours later]

"Hank... I'm really sorry for what I did. I was just trying to be social. I didn't realize that I was ignoring you, and I see where you are coming from. Could you at least respond to me?"
"ok"
"Can I come over?"
"later. playing vids"

It's never happened again.

Here is my point. You have to punish bad behavior by being a giant dick about it, without making a big scene like a whiney bitch. If she pulls that shit, do something completely outrageous like leave her in a public place or something. Then act like it's no big deal.

[Merenguero]

(11-07-2015 08:12 PM)HankMoody Wrote:  

True story, take this for what it's worth.

I had just started dating my current girl. She's a solid 8, 8.5 if you like short petite girls.

We had just banged at my place. After, I decided to go out and get some brunch. We walk to bar near my house. We're chilling, hanging out, and I'm like "Babe, I'm gonna go get us some drinks. Hold down the fort." This is like two weeks into it.

When I get back, she is talking to two Australian guys. Completely ignoring me. I hand her a drink, and she and keeps talking to them. She doesn't introduce me, doesn't bring me into the conversation, nothing. This goes on for 20 so I walk inside and start talking to people.

She's still talking to them outside, and doesn't even notice that I'm gone.

In my head, I'm thinking this: "Ok, do I walk up and clown them? Assert my alphaness and pick a fight? Do I walk up and just butt into the conversation, and see what she does? How do I handle this?"

After some thinking, I hop in my car and leave. Not a word to her. About 15 minutes later I get a text:

"Hank, where are you?"
"[other part of town]"
"What? Did you just leave?"
"ya"
"Are you serious? You can't just abandon me like that! How am I supposed to get home?"
"uber"
"That is so fucked up! I can't believe you just left me in your neighborhood? What are you doing?"
"food shopping"
"Are you mad at me because I was talking to those guys?"
"nah"

[hours later]

"Hank, I talked to Joe Beta and he said what you did was really fucked up. You abandoned me! Those guys were probably gay anyway! You can't just leave me in a bar in a strange part of town! I am so mad at you! I deserve much better than this!"
[no response]

[hours later]

"Hank... I'm really sorry for what I did. I was just trying to be social. I didn't realize that I was ignoring you, and I see where you are coming from. Could you at least respond to me?"
"ok"
"Can I come over?"
"later. playing vids"

It's never happened again.

Here is my point. You have to punish bad behavior by being a giant dick about it, without making a big scene like a whiney bitch. If she pulls that shit, do something completely outrageous like leave her in a public place or something. Then act like it's no big deal.

Yes. That's exactly the way I handle stuff. Any other way will either cause you to likely get in trouble or accept bad behavior. Once you start accepting bad behavior from someone, especially a women, it's game over. I will add that most women don't have the ability to realize that they screwed up, that you did what you did because they screwed up, and to make sure they don't do that again. Most will either act like you didn't do what you did or just become bitter and angry. Making her bitter and angry is not a good thing, but I think accepting her bad behavior is far worse.

[Svoboda]

(11-07-2015 08:12 PM)HankMoody Wrote:  

Here is my point. You have to punish bad behavior by being a giant dick about it, without making a big scene like a whiney bitch. If she pulls that shit, do something completely outrageous like leave her in a public place or something. Then act like it's no big deal.

I like how you never showed any emotion in the texts.

[Sonoma]

Only massive whores ogle and talk

[debeguiled]

(11-07-2015 08:12 PM)HankMoody Wrote:  

"Are you mad at me because I was talking to those guys?"

"Those guys were probably gay anyway!"

"Hank... I'm really sorry for what I did. I was just trying to be social. I didn't realize that I was ignoring you, and I see where you are coming from.

If you tried to have a conversation about what she did, she would have pretended nothing had happened.

By not addressing it and just acting, she actually had both sides of the conversation for you.

By the way, you weren't being a dick in any way. She was just trying to shame her way out of bad behavior. When that didn't work, she folded.

[RatInTheWoods]

(11-07-2015 08:12 PM)HankMoody Wrote:  

Here is my point. You have to punish bad behavior by being a giant dick about it, without making a big scene like a whiney bitch. If she pulls that shit, do something completely outrageous like leave her in a public place or something. Then act like it's no big deal.

I agree with you, and do this myself all the time as well. Like children, you have to guide women with consequences and punishment, and reward any good behavior.

Question is, how to frame the response to this type of bad behavior?

[Bushido]

(11-08-2015 02:50 PM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  

I agree with you, and do this myself all the time as well. Like children, you have to guide women with consequences and punishment, and reward any good behavior.

Question is, how to frame the response to this type of bad behavior?

You already lost the frame. Girls who have respect for a man don't pull this shit. It's very tough to get frame back.

A few questions for your self-reflection. Would you put up with this behaviour from a 6? If not, what makes this girl different? Also, do you believe in your own ability to pull another girl of similar quality?

[Bushido]

(11-06-2015 11:07 PM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  

3) Confront the behavior, and get an apology and blowjob.

I am going with this response, next time she does it, I am going to say:

"I've let a few of these slide, but it's time to tackle this disrespect you are showing.
If you do that again, you will be binned. I'm not jealous, I don't give a fuck, but no one disrespects me to my face."

Personally I wouldn't put this shit in words. Just walk away. Drive home. Go silent on her for a few days minimum. Actions speak louder than words.

[HankMoody]

(11-08-2015 02:50 PM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  

(11-07-2015 08:12 PM)HankMoody Wrote:  

Here is my point. You have to punish bad behavior by being a giant dick about it, without making a big scene like a whiney bitch. If she pulls that shit, do something completely outrageous like leave her in a public place or something. Then act like it's no big deal.

I agree with you, and do this myself all the time as well. Like children, you have to guide women with consequences and punishment, and reward any good behavior.

Question is, how to frame the response to this type of bad behavior?

Personally I would just drop her. No explanation, no nothing. A woman who pulls that kind of shit is more of a headache than she's worth. There are plenty of women out there who won't pull this kind of bullshit. I don't care how hot she is - this one is not worth your time.

One of two things will happen if you just drop her.

1. She'll come clawing back and change her bad behavior, realizing that you're a man who doesn't have time to tolerate silly petty bullshit. She will quickly realize that part of spending time with you involves not acting like a silly whore, because you have no time for that.

2. She'll break up with you and meet some loser and do it to him. And if she does, so what? You'll be too busy fucking a hotter chick who cleans your house, cooks for you, and gives you lots of blowjobs. Because you stopped wasting your time chasing after a dud.

[DonnyGately]

Drop her, move on.

[RatInTheWoods]

(11-08-2015 03:11 PM)dreambig Wrote:  

(11-08-2015 02:50 PM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  

I agree with you, and do this myself all the time as well. Like children, you have to guide women with consequences and punishment, and reward any good behavior.

Question is, how to frame the response to this type of bad behavior?

You already lost the frame. Girls who have respect for a man don't pull this shit. It's very tough to get frame back.

A few questions for your self-reflection. Would you put up with this behaviour from a 6? If not, what makes this girl different? Also, do you believe in your own ability to pull another girl of similar quality?

Its pretty well accepted that ALL women will shit test you. Thats not a frame loss, its how you handle it that determines if you loose frame...

And good luck find a chick that is so perfect she isn't going to shit test you or need training, correction and punishment at times.

All the guys saying bin her for the shit test, I think you are quitting too easy.
Its a lot more effort to approach 100 women more to get a quality lay than to just smash this shit test and move on.

Yep Dreambig, of course I can get another girl of similar or higher quality, but she's probably going to shit test me and need training as well.....

There are binable offences and this isn't one yet in my opinion. Sex is too good and shes at the upper end of my achievable SMV... Therefore warents "training and correction". This is an opportunity to build value with her if handled correctly.

[WestIndianArchie]

I'm with Rat. I don't think you guys are analyzing the situation correctly.

It's just a plate
It's typical female behavior

The hidden problem here is that you guys want total obedience without having the skills to command such a thing and also clearly not putting in the necessary work.

You think cause you learned a few openers and bagged s couple dozen chicks, now i know chicks.

WIA

[nogamenick]

Agreed. Whenever a girl does this I reply with something in the lines of "yeah, go talk to him" or "maybe he will like you". Heavy emphasis where needed in the last one. After that it's usually over. Never has a girl actually gone and talked to the guy she was eyeing nor did she look again. Might not be the best way to go about it but I don't need any obedience or respect from a girl I'm going to be banging 3 times at most

[PapayaTapper]

(11-09-2015 09:01 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

I'm with Rat. I don't think you guys are analyzing the situation correctly.

It's just a plate
It's typical female behavior

The hidden problem here is that you guys want total obedience without having the skills to command such a thing and also clearly not putting in the necessary work.

You think cause you learned a few openers and bagged s couple dozen chicks, now i know chicks.

WIA

You may well be correct.... everyone's situation is going to vary according to personal experience. Coincidentally we can only offer our opinion/ slash advice based on our own experience(s) so I'm making some assumptions based on my own perspective. If this is a regular plate then I've already passed a varying degree of shit tests. If this is a "plate" and I'm fucking her on the regular then she will have already received my standard "I don't sleep with women who are seeing other guys" admonition. This automatically precludes a lot of ancillary "other dude" shenanigans that I make clear in other ways. This includes shit tests in this area as well. Like I said before, I'll be damned if I let a slippery hole on legs disrespect me. That's just me though

[BassPlayaYo]

(11-09-2015 05:44 AM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  

Its pretty well accepted that ALL women will shit test you. Thats not a frame loss, its how you handle it that determines if you loose frame...

And good luck find a chick that is so perfect she isn't going to shit test you or need training, correction and punishment at times.

All the guys saying bin her for the shit test, I think you are quitting too easy.
Its a lot more effort to approach 100 women more to get a quality lay than to just smash this shit test and move on.

Yep Dreambig, of course I can get another girl of similar or higher quality, but she's probably going to shit test me and need training as well.....

There are binable offences and this isn't one yet in my opinion. Sex is too good and shes at the upper end of my achievable SMV... Therefore warents "training and correction". This is an opportunity to build value with her if handled correctly.

Are your thoughts here consistent with abundance mentality?

Quote:

Sex is too good and shes at the upper end of my achievable SMV...

What's the tipping point? Meaning what are you willing to endure?

[mammal]

There's a reason they're called "shit" tests.
If a woman shows such lack ofclass and goodmanners as to purposely do this, she's out of my life.
A bit of gameplaying (saying she's busy) goes with the territory. But when excessive, move on.

[Off The Reservation]

Great old thread.

Happened to me in reverse in a coffee shop last week. Looked like a West Coast well to do girl late 20s w/her BF visiting Miami. She eyed me and smiled without him seeing and then did it two or three more times. I busted her doing it again as she left. BF was out the door and she took the time to do it again and let it linger, with a more telling smile.

She had that look like "my bf is cuter and younger than you but clearly you own the room" while i stayed busy with a new Venezuelan who actually grabbed my head with both hands to redirect my attention.

You can learn "techniques" and fake it which will work or you can become the man who sends out no sense of hunger whatsoever. Are you the man that most women wouldn't dare do this to?

The woman looking at other dudes may be a variety of things, from sociable / flirtatious, to all out dissatisfied or worse a saboteur to her man. Its important to observe and know the difference without necessarily revealing how much you know.

[Hazaer]

What do you do when a girl who was looking at you sending IOIs suddenly starts talking to another random guy. Its happened a few time where it seemed that she was interested, just to start talking with another guy when you are about to approach.

[Beirut]

For the OP:
I wouldnt punish her. I wouldnt bin her. I wouldnt have a talk to her about it.

In short: I wouldnt care.


Shes a plate, which i assume means someone you fuck sometimes on rotation with others, with no intention or arrangement for any type of exclusive relationship, and no emotional attachment.

Then why are you getting mad? Why make it about your ego and respect and etc...?

Your arrangement is already that you fuck other people, no? Is eying others more disrespectful than fucking them? Does a man's ego require that she act and pretend she sees noone else but you in your presence, while your brain knows that both you and her dont?



I have yet to see someone "alpha punish" a girl into good behavior. Some guys think if they give the girl a stern talking to, theyve established dominance. In most cases all youre doing is planting more desire in her to do the now forbidden thing.

I feel indifference is more alpha than getting mad in this case. If im just giving her sex, i dont need to know shes in love with me to feel good about myself.

Better to be at peace with the game and accept that youre both sexual creatures playing around.

[Spectrumwalker]

My ex long term girlfriend did this once. We were at the movies. A preview comes on for the Thor movie and she's got the hots for the actor who plays Thor whatever his name is. She covers her face and says out loud "oh he's so hot!" with other people in ear shot. F that. I turn to her and say, verbatim, "you know that's disrepectful when I'm here right next to you. Do that again, especially in front of other people and you are free to try and find your celebrity crush." She bowed her head and apologized and never happened again. Never once saw her check out a guy, at least when I was with her obviously. Dated for a good while after, still one of the greatest girls I ever dated. Miss her sometimes.

If you have a girl who you have some semblance of a relationship with and she's checking out other dudes, call her out on it tell her that's out of line. It is absolutely disrespectful to you. But, kind of like with animals, you have to correct on the spot immediately after the poor act for it to have an effect. Same goes with rewards. But if it keeps on happening it's a serious red flag and sooner or later she's going to end up with one of them. Next her quick. If it's a girl you're only banging and the two of you both know where each other stand, who cares, let it go Indiana.

@Hazaer- When that happens, time is of the essence. When the dude goes to bathroom or is distracted with his friends or something, be ready to pounce direct with no BS. Ask her straight up if it's her boyfriend and let her know what's up. If she's good to go tell her you want to talk. Introduce yourself by name and then "not your boyfriend? ah good news for me, let's go chat over there", and move her away from where she was with the previous guy to run your game. If she ditched the other guy to talk to you, there's a good chance she's pretty keen; unless she wanted to ditch him in the first place and you are now the excuse. But regardless, keep it at direct game. If she's into the guy or If it's her boyfriend, just forget about it and move on. I don't condone that.