[bike0369]

Hi all,

So I finally dumped two of the three girls on my rotation from this thread few weeks ago.

Got back on okc, and in less than two weeks, got about 8 #'s. Another two girls I refused to make plans within the app as they were not sharing their #.

I then walked out / soft rejected 3 of these girls after seeing their full body pics. Down to 5. Another 3 out of town - to harvest later. Down to 2.

I've been on a date with one, and nothing happened with another. And in both these cases, I am stuck in the 'text messaging hell'. I know my text game sucks, but can you please help decode where I f*ed up badly especially because in the app they were both super keen!

Girl 1- didn't meet her

[7/9/2015, 12:36] Me: Hey Cindy, this is bike0369 (from okc.)
[7/9/2015, 12:36] Me: How's your day?
[7/9/2015, 15:57] Cindy: Hihi.. busy day at work... .. tty in evening.
[7/9/2015, 23:59] Me: Just finished my last call with US. Going to hit bed now, goodnight
[7/10/2015, 00:09] Cindy: good night "
[7/10/2015, 11:02] Me: Hey, aren't we glad it's Friday! How's your day?
[7/10/2015, 11:32] Cindy: Busy.rushing report due to boss.
[7/10/2015, 17:38] Me: You're always busy. What do you do?
[7/10/2015, 19:44] Cindy: Tgif!
[7/10/2015, 19:52] Me: That wasn't my question
[7/10/2015, 20:04] Cindy: I do market research...
[7/12/2015, 11:21] Me: interesting. Hey, when is a good time for a quick 2 mins call? Just want to make sure you're real
[7/14/2015, 15:02] Me: Hey Cindy, how's your week?
[7/14/2015, 15:03] Me: I've couple of tickets for an art exhibition opening this Fri. Interested?
[7/14/2015, 15:12] Cindy: Hi... that sounds really nice But I do have a few things lined up this Fri so I think I have to give it a miss.. Sorry. .
[7/14/2015, 15:13] Me: Non probleme
[7/14/2015, 15:13] Me: No problem. We should grab a drink this weekend and talk and travel and photos. When's good for you?
[7/14/2015, 15:14] Me: I've a few things but still some time is available
[7/14/2015, 19:27] Cindy: Hmm.. Thanks for taking the initiative.. Sorry I dont think I'm a good match for u..so Hope u find a nice gal soon!
[7/14/2015, 19:30] Me: Haha. Good luck
[7/14/2015, 19:30] Me: You come across as a totally different person from okc to WhatsApp
[7/14/2015, 19:31] Cindy:
[7/14/2015, 19:32] Me: Weird
[7/14/2015, 19:37] Cindy: No la.. I thought ur profile looked very Interesting.. but not quite sure abt meeting up. . (Didn't think you'll really ask) haha
[7/14/2015, 19:38] Me: Haha, so you were ok to talk but not to meet?
[7/14/2015, 19:39] Me: Isn't the app to meet people?
[7/14/2015, 19:39] Me: I'm bad at texting. Especially if I haven't met someone before... The British sarcastic sense of humor doesn't work in Asia
[7/14/2015, 19:41] Cindy: Haha..or shall I say I would prefer dating an Asian Chinese guy.. so ..Yup..
[7/14/2015, 19:52] Me: Haha, you knew I was not Asian... Come on, you can be honest lol
[7/14/2015, 19:53] Me: It's totally ok, I don't care - as they say, there is never "the one"
[7/14/2015, 19:53] Me: So you can be honest
[7/14/2015, 20:07] Cindy: I have someone whom I'm more interested in at the moment.
[7/14/2015, 20:09] Me: Haha, good. We're even now. Let's keep it going.
[7/14/2015, 20:10] Me: Ok I'm off to dinner drinks. Talk later

End Girl 1. No reply to that, and I haven't restarted.

[bike0369]

Girl 2: we met and had a fabulous 3 hours date over drinks. But since then, I am stuck in the text message hell again!

[7/10/2015, 17:26] me: Hey XYZ, this is bike0369 from okc. How's your day been? I'm so excited for the weekend - it's been a very busy week! You?
[7/10/2015, 20:46] her: Hello! It's been relaxed as usual haha! But yes I will never complain about the weekend. what are you up to this weekend?
[7/11/2015, 10:32] me: Hey, Fedex is in the finals. He never seem to age!
[7/11/2015, 10:33] me: I just finished my cycle ride - knackered. Going for a brunch in an hour or so and concert in evening. You?
[7/11/2015, 11:36] her: He pulls out amazing performances once in a while. I hope he pulls out another one on Sunday! I'm gonna cut my hair at 1 then meet a friend for coffee and then come home for the women's final.

Where's brunch and what concert are you going to?
[7/11/2015, 12:02] me: Hey called you (prefer that to texting) as I was in the cab to symmetry cafe for brunch. Let's talk later - call me when free
[7/11/2015, 12:39] me: Sorry busy now. Going to the salon! I'm bad with calls - phone is on silent and non vibrate all the time haha
[7/12/2015, 11:19] me: haha, yes, you don't see but you can call. So Serena won - that's so predictable now! Let's see what Roger does today.
[7/12/2015, 11:20] me: anyway, if you cannot call, how about we chat more over a quick drink on Tue evening?
[7/12/2015, 14:16] her: Roger will win. hopefully.
[7/12/2015, 14:16] her: It's my birthday on Tuesday so I've got plans already. What about tomorrow?
[7/12/2015, 15:10] me: Sure, see you tomorrow. I'll think of a place and text you later
[7/12/2015, 15:17] her: Cool. I will be around orchard.
[7/13/2015, 12:45] me: Hey, let's meet at 7 PM at hjhjhjhajgjgd.
[7/13/2015, 12:45] me: Nearest MRT is ahajhjhajh
[7/13/2015, 13:10] her: Sounds good.
[7/13/2015, 17:03] her: Hey, are we doing dinner or just drinks?
[7/13/2015, 17:13] me: that place does good food too. And I won't advise margaritas without food
[7/13/2015, 17:16] me: So we'll grab something along... why do you ask now?
[7/13/2015, 17:25] her: Just confirming! Ok sounds great. See at later
[7/13/2015, 19:00] me: Just couple mins away
[7/13/2015, 19:01] her: Me too
[7/13/2015, 19:04] her: I'm
Outside
[7/13/2015, 19:04] me: Sitting outside

here is the three hour date. We connected and she even shared some of her 'insecurities'. She wanted to talk about her recent breakup and her 'perfect ex-bf', but I stopped her and said another time not right now. We spoke some more and I spit little more game. She also spoke about not wanting to be used - and used the word no ONS.

Two hours in, we kissed lightly. But she was very resistant-- kept saying it's public... Some good signs though- she didn't use her phone at all, even when I went for the rest room; body language was super positive, and we held hand for at least an hour. Even when I left her hand, she let it stay on my knee. After three hours, we were both surprised that we had been talking for that long. By then, she was used to me leading her with hand... Both of us had work next day so I didn't push for different venue. We kissed while parting.


[7/13/2015, 23:20] her: Thanks for dinner and the great company
[7/13/2015, 23:44] me: You're welcome. I had a good time too
[7/13/2015, 23:44] me: Hitting bed now as early start tomorrow, but...
[7/13/2015, 23:45] me: Happy birthday!
[7/14/2015, 00:00] her: Aw thanks have a good night! I'm sleeping too.
[7/14/2015, 21:58] me: Hey XYZ, how was your b'day? Hope you had a blast.
[7/14/2015, 21:58] me: Ah, pressed the call button by mistake
[7/14/2015, 23:13] her: Haha no worries! I didn't see it anyway. my mom made an awesome dinner and I had my favourite chocolate cake so it was awesome!
[7/16/2015, 14:15] me: Hey XYZ, let's hangout again. Maybe an early dinner and walk on the beach. Sunday?
[7/16/2015, 15:18] her: Hey! Sorry, I've got things planned this weekend already. I would say next weekend but I'm going to Myanmar next weekend...
[7/16/2015, 15:33] me: Myanmar sounds cool. Going with family or friends?
[7/16/2015, 15:33] me: Oh btw, good b'day celebration! Did your family buy you gifts?
[7/16/2015, 15:35] me: Let's try weekdays then or other time this weekend. Actually there is an exhibition I'm planning to visit on Sat
[7/16/2015, 18:39] her: Going to meet a couple of friends! My mom bought me a Totoro plush toy hahaha
[7/16/2015, 18:40] her: What exhibition is it?
[7/16/2015, 20:06] me: Totoro? That's not something to do with tennis I think.
[7/16/2015, 20:06] me: Here's the email invite for exhibition. It's in Dempsey
[7/16/2015, 20:06] me: JIEUN PARK:ENCOUNTERS. " Showcasing her distinctive, signature cityscape paintings created in traditional Chinese ink calligraphy and acrylic on Korean paper, Park’s new collection includes 17 new works from her travels to some of Europe and Asia’s top cities: London, Paris, Singapore, Hong Kong and Seoul."
[7/16/2015, 20:07] me: I'm off with colleagues for drinks. Ciao
[7/16/2015, 23:22] her: Hey! Was playing tennis. Just showered and getting ready for bed. Exhibition sounds interesting but I've got plans already. Hope you had fun with your colleagues!



Now I am stuck. This is not the first time that text messages have killed me. I tend to lose about 50% of dates over text messages... I prefer to call (and recently got two dates out of social circle that didn't work for text, but I called, made them laugh, spit some game, and we're meeting in next week), but some girls just don't like calls.

Please let me know how shitty my text game is on 1 to 10 (1 being worst), and where I can improve the most.

[eradicator]

Stop asking "how's your day" and stick to logistics on your texts. Stop taking okc sluts to dinners.

Stop asking them questions. tell them what you are going to be doing with them "meet me for drinks at 8pm tuesday @ xyz bar" and then escalate like crazy and bring them home.

You are making all of this way too complicated. You are trying to get them into bed, yes? Then stop using the beta bux routines.

[amusedmastery]

I would cut down on your number of texts and text length. Play it more aloof and direct/logistics oriented. Wordy=needy=turned off female. If they want more chatty bs, make them meet you in person and never, ever use emoticons.

[MY DETROIT PLAYAS]

Just a few things that stood out to me

On a positive note, you are quite persistent and that pays off at times. You actually want a girl to show you her hand early in the interaction as possible so you whether she is a time waster or worth the investment.

But...

- Your "eagerness" isn't being reciprocated, you are upholding the conversation; some would call sending "chasing texts". There is a fine line between taking the initiative and over-texting

which brings me to my next point...

-Your text ratio is off, you are nearly 3 to 1 with both girls
-Be less wordy, and more concise
-Doesn't seem like you're having fun; texting becomes a chore when the interest isn't mutual
-Learn the "signs" when a girl isn't hooking; neither girl seemed all that interested
-The in-person meetup showed promise, but I'm guessing you didn't spike her emotions or lubricate her vagina - so she mentally "nexted" you
-Little to no humor or push/pull to your texts

* 3 hours can fly by when things are clicking but be mindful that when you're in that moment, that you are building up to a crescendo with a girl. Meaning that unless you are planning to bounce and then isolate her, all that work you did may have been for not

As soon as she closes that car door and speeds off into the night, that warm and fuzzy feeling will start to subside. By the time you reengage her, be ready to climb that mountain again.

Only thing is if she really is into you like that, she will make the climb a little easier

[bike0369]

Thanks all. I'll reduce the frequency and words.

Just to add, I'm in Singapore, and from experience (I admit I might have read wrong, but have got 35+ notches in past two years), girls demand a bit of betaness.


Anyway, back to texting, when after the date, she texted 'thanks and great company', if you were me, what would you have done from there to secure second date?

Is there anything I can do to salvage the two now?

Thanks again. Really appreciate your help.

Edit: MDP - the in person girl texted 'thanks etc' first within two hours of the date... And she was literally looking back from the taxi. And that's why I'm a bit more keen on her...

But I get your general point. Thanks a lot.

[~wrIghter~]

I used to text like that but learned a lot since. Shorter text and more about getting the meetup. I'm not interested in carrying conversations over text. Try bringing up an activity and "tell her" to prepare for it. "Let's get ice cream Friday, wear something light, it'll be hot out." you're assuming the sale and setting up a date over ice cream. Sometimes they go for it if interest, sometimes they won't.

[amusedmastery]

I would just say something like, "keep the compliments coming. Let's meet again at xyz". Or, go hard Alpha and say, "I accept your offer for drinks at your place, see u in a bit".

[bike0369]

Thanks MDP and Amused.

You guys think there is any point in a restart text in a couple weeks, or should I charge it to game altogether?

MDP - what are the 'signs' that made you say neither girl was in to me (esp the second one with who I met)? Genuine question as that'll help to get rid of such girls faster.

[MY DETROIT PLAYAS]

#1 was always "busy" and when you are setting up that make or break 1st meet up usually the negotiations shouldn't be so hard - people make time for things/people that truly interest them

The sign? She NEVER once offered a counter date*

Chances are she stumbled upon someone else she was more into, or there was an emotional shift on her part. MasterCard it to the game. Makes you wonder sometimes, but as a member here you already know that a girl's "mind" can change in 0.2 seconds. Some girls you have to be in front of to really make an impression, if you can't get her out to work you charm yours is just another name in a sea of "entertainers".

You managed to get girl # 2 on a meet up after some back and forth. You did a good job of redirecting the conversation from her ex, as she was attempting to make you her de facto counselor for the night. Sounds like she is still hung up on her ex a bit, but depending on your vision for her that's the best time for rebound sex despite her pleadings against ONS. Between the hang out and the texting session her buying temp had cooled. Depending on the start time of your meet up, it probably wouldn't have hurt to bounce her earlier even if it was only a nice scroll with new scenery. A 3 hour meet up is enough time to venture out to a couple locations, while building up the attraction and sexual tension. Sounds like she needed an adventure, mixed with a surprise or two to spike her interest.

Thinking about this scenario even deeper, coming off of a recent breakup she probably wanted a safe, non-threatening date with no sexual overtones. So your mission if you choose to accept, would be to shake things up from the beginning. Have some things thought out where you won't let things get stagnant, ideally your encounters should be building to a crescendo not collapsing like a wave.

[simonafc]

I didnt even bother to read your text thread.

I noticed right away, You double and triple text her.

[bike0369]

Thanks MDP, Simon.

MDP- not a bit; she seemed still in love with her ex. She started her statement with "I broke up with my bf who was the perfect guy" when I stopped her. Her FB feed (it's open, and no we aren't friends. I only saw it once, so not stalking it or anything) was full of their pics, even though she broke up in Feb.

She also mentioned not liked to be judged, and I said something to the tune of "is it insecurity" and she said "maybe. Likely". At that time I didn't think of it, but it seems she's still in love with her ex, so not seriously looking to move on to next one, and is just looking for comfort pillows and validation.

Next-ed.

Thanks a lot for your tips. I'm using them on other conversations.

[lowside]

(07-16-2015 12:05 PM)eradicator Wrote:  

Stop asking "how's your day" and stick to logistics on your texts. Stop taking okc sluts to dinners.

Stop asking them questions. tell them what you are going to be doing with them "meet me for drinks at 8pm tuesday @ xyz bar" and then escalate like crazy and bring them home.

You are making all of this way too complicated. You are trying to get them into bed, yes? Then stop using the beta bux routines.