[kaotic]

-My first girlfriend, I was 17/18 at time, fucked one of my best friends when we were broken up - I called my friend out - of course denied till he died. I ended up fucking him over semi accidentally - he fucked one of our friends little sisters and word got out. Yes I got back with he for 6 months then dumped her on our anniversary which is right near valentines day.

-I was 19 banged this slut once, then reached out to her to hangout again, met me at a park, then some dudes came out of nowhere. I realized....she was trying to get me jumped. I kept my cool - the guys were cool, she was demanding her then new BF to hit me and he didn't. I dipped out calmly and waited for them to leave the park to make sure they didn't follow me to my house nearby.

[CH-Toronto]

(06-15-2015 10:33 AM)CleanSlate Wrote:  

Threatened to commit suicide if I didn't do what she wanted me to do.

I've seen posts like this before and it scares the fuck out of me.

About 8 years ago I had 'an incident'. The girl literally said how she was going to kill herself and had nothing to live for (but me). I told her no and thought nothing of it. A week later I found out she did kill herself and I was pretty fucked mentally for about a month.

That's why when people say here, "Call her bluff, she won't do it" hairs and goosebumps on my arms and legs rise, and my eyes widen because I know that's sometimes not the case.

I was going to make a thread about it and the dangers of rebuffing a suicidal girl. It should be noted that I wasn't even seeing this girl- and she was incredibly messed up.

About 2 years later I had broken up with a girl and she also saying how she wanted to kill herself because I wouldn't be with her anymore. Nothing came of that though.

[Ingocnito]

In order:

1) Dumped nut-case high school sweetheart, only for her to threaten to commit suicide. Reluctantly took her back, a month later rolled up to her house to see another guy waiting there with flowers to take her out on a date. Dumped her again on the spot, was in her car actually when we arrived and I saw this, and threw a Taco Bell barrito Supreme all over her dash.

2) 24 yo. Birthday fell in middle of week. Had an old friend who was a girl I was converting into FWB. We spoke the previous night about her coming over to fuck me for my birthday, she stood me up on my birthday, completely ghosted me. It wouldn't have bothered me so much had we not been such good friends knowing each other's families growing up together.

3) Last November an ex. LTR of 2 3/4 years I dumped for good. In response, she fabricated an email full of false info. about me and sent it to the mother of my daughter. The content caused me to lose my child for 6 months, $3000 in court and legal fees to fight her accusations, and she got away Scott free, absolved by police, child services, and the courts of any responsibility for what she did. The fall out of this is still trailing on, and will continue into this fall. The accuser was a mother herself.

[SirTimothy]

A female friend threatening to attack me if she ever saw me again, after I didn't want to take her out on a date. Yeah, she had daddy issues.

[Kristoph]

I was besotted with my first 'steady' girlfriend when I was a young lad. Total puppy love bullshit. She was sweet sixteen and beautiful. Big brown eyes, sweet tits, round ass, soft skin, fun to talk to, cute giggle. Man I thought she was something special, like the lovestruck teenager I was. But god dammit if I couldn't get the bang. 4 months and all I got was a blowjob. She always had some excuse to get away, and the one time I did get her naked the atmosphere was awkward as fuck and the only condom at her house broke and she wouldn't fuck without it. Hard luck for me.

I assumed she was a virgin and that was the cause of her nervousness. I didn't push the issue. I wasn't totally clueless with girls and I guess I was good looking enough so I could have got it elsewhere but I was soft and green as fuck and I really liked her. It shames me to admit it now but I was just happy to be able to spend time with her, blue balls or not.

I paid to take her to see her favourite band. I also paid for a hotel room for the night, thinking being away from home would give us the opportunity we needed to get screwing. She was a bitch all day, moaning and sulking and being a genuine cunt. She perked up when we were at the concert, but when we got to the hotel she switched off and practically ignored me. She told me she was on her period so we couldn't do anything, took a shower, then got into bed and didn't say anything else before falling asleep.

When we got back into town she gave me a long kiss and went home. Three days later she broke up with me by text. I cried. Remember, I was a kid.

A week later I went to a party of a mutual friend, knowing she'd be there and pathetically hoping to talk to her. She was there all right, flirting and laughing with a guy I knew. A guy I disliked, who I knew disliked me more. Angry, I went out for a cigarette. Just in time to see her leaving, with the guy. And his cousin. He waved goodbye to me. I stood there, furious and shocked, like an idiot.

I later learned that they got a hotel room of their own. All three of them. They both fucked her. Sometimes at the same time. I know because he sent me three pictures. Her naked ass. Dicks in her pussy and mouth. Cum on her face.


^my IRL reaction^

For the 16 year old me, it was brutal. More brutal than I can really describe. I don't think I've ever felt anything so strongly as the rage, despair and yes, jealousy. She said she didn't know he was gonna send me the photos. She said it was mean but that I had to admit it was 'kind of funny'.

Some nine years later I'm glad it happened. In retrospect, from her perspective it's not like she did that much wrong except break up with a pussy and then slut it up with dudes who hate him. I blame my younger self for letting it happen. Scorpions gonna scorpion indeed.

But it hurt like hell and though it didn't make me resent women, I never again really believed any girl to be 'special' like that. Which is a good thing. It was a learning experience. I'm glad I learned the lesson early. I see guys older than me making the same mistakes I did and I'm sure the consequences could be worse.

Also, I fucked her best friend. And a relative of the guy who sent those photos. Not out of revenge, it was just a coincidence, but it still felt good.

Side Note: Dr Howard is right, I'm sure we've done awful things to women. I know I have. Maybe there should be a separate thread

[Ziltoid]

(06-15-2015 02:14 PM)CH-Toronto Wrote:  

(06-15-2015 10:33 AM)CleanSlate Wrote:  

Threatened to commit suicide if I didn't do what she wanted me to do.

I've seen posts like this before and it scares the fuck out of me.

About 8 years ago I had 'an incident'. The girl literally said how she was going to kill herself and had nothing to live for (but me). I told her no and thought nothing of it. A week later I found out she did kill herself and I was pretty fucked mentally for about a month.

That's why when people say here, "Call her bluff, she won't do it" hairs and goosebumps on my arms and legs rise, and my eyes widen because I know that's sometimes not the case.

I was going to make a thread about it and the dangers of rebuffing a suicidal girl. It should be noted that I wasn't even seeing this girl- and she was incredibly messed up.

About 2 years later I had broken up with a girl and she also saying how she wanted to kill herself because I wouldn't be with her anymore. Nothing came of that though.

So if cutting ties is out of the question, what do you suggest men in these instances should do? Give in and be held hostage?

You bear no fault in her killing herself, beyond maybe that you could have told her family or friends what she said (which could just as easily have backfired horribly), sorry to hear it affected you in the way it did but it's all in your head man.

[Grodin]

I dated a crazy girl who turned out to be crazy... not just normal woman-crazy but the proverbial batshit crazy. I will spare you the details, mostly because I don't want to relive all that, but in summary we only dated 7 months and it took much longer than 7 months to get rid of her ass. My bad though, I stuck my D in crazy. Really deep down her crazy gullet too.

My ex-wife, when she left me, I went to work one day and when I came home the house was earily quiet. She'd packed up a bunch of stuff and left with the kids. No "hey, I'd like a divorce" or anything. Like George Jones said
"Oh, she left me without mercy
Taking nothing but
Our baby and my heart."
It was quite a shock. I forgave her long ago though, and am able to smile looking back on it like a tragic comedy. In the end she hurt herself much more than she ever hurt me.

[Travesty]

(06-15-2015 02:31 PM)Kristoph Wrote:  

...

How many slut signs did she exhibit before the incident? Smoker, tattoos, dyed hair, facial piercings, drug user, heavy drinker, party girl, male friends, slut friends, slut mom, slut sisters, foul language, divorced parents, Godless?

[Kristoph]

(06-15-2015 02:43 PM)Travesty444 Wrote:  

(06-15-2015 02:31 PM)Kristoph Wrote:  

...

How many slut signs did she exhibit before the incident?

Very very few if I'm remembering rightly. She would get all lusty for certain celebrity men, that's about it. She gave good head and blushingly admitted that she she '[didn't] mind giving blowjobs at all' with a coy smile that gave me pause at the time.

EDIT: Now you mention it I remember; daddy issues. Parents split up for 14 years, each had other children, her mother put on 150 pounds, then they got back together. Plus two of her uncles were in and out of prison. I played cards with her dad and his brothers once and while they were a nice enough bunch of blokes they were clearly pretty mental.

The worst thing is I was smart enough to recognize these danger signs and knew what they meant, but I thought she was different. I called her my 'diamond in the rough' haha.

[CH-Toronto]

(06-15-2015 02:32 PM)Ziltoid Wrote:  

So if cutting ties is out of the question, what do you suggest men in these instances should do? Give in and be held hostage?

You bear no fault in her killing herself, beyond maybe that you could have told her family or friends what she said (which could just as easily have backfired horribly), sorry to hear it affected you in the way it did but it's all in your head man.

You can't give in, but yes, telling her parents would be a good idea. It should be noted that I had only known her for less than a month and had been on one date with her.

I also said probably one of the worst things I've ever said to anyone- because I'm an idiot.

ACTUAL CONVO (over the phone):

Her: "Why don't you want to be with me? Am I too fat?"
Me: "Well... you could lose a little bit of weight"
Her: "Am I too ugly!?"
Me: "Well... you could put on a little more make up"

She proceeded to cry for 2 hours and I attempted to calm her down over the phone. And even though I said, "I was there for her" if she tried to kill herself, I honestly thought she was going to be fine.

I know you can say, "it's in my head" - but she did say, "I have nothing if I don't have you" and a week later she died. That's fucked.

[Kristoph]

(06-15-2015 02:52 PM)CH-Toronto Wrote:  

(06-15-2015 02:32 PM)Ziltoid Wrote:  

So if cutting ties is out of the question, what do you suggest men in these instances should do? Give in and be held hostage?

You bear no fault in her killing herself, beyond maybe that you could have told her family or friends what she said (which could just as easily have backfired horribly), sorry to hear it affected you in the way it did but it's all in your head man.

You can't give in, but yes, telling her parents would be a good idea. It should be noted that I had only known her for less than a month and had been on one date with her.

I also said probably one of the worst things I've ever said to anyone- because I'm an idiot.

ACTUAL CONVO (over the phone):

Her: "Why don't you want to be with me? Am I too fat?"
Me: "Well... you could lose a little bit of weight"
Her: "Am I too ugly!?"
Me: "Well... you could put on a little more make up"

She proceeded to cry for 2 hours and I attempted to calm her down over the phone. And even though I said, "I was there for her" if she tried to kill herself, I honestly thought she was going to be fine.

I know you can say, "it's in my head" - but she did say, "I have nothing if I don't have you" and a week later she died. That's fucked.

It is fucked and it's unfortunate that you got caught up in the mess of her life. You know, you could have been nicer but in the grand scheme of things saying someone could lose some weight and could wear a bit more make up isn't actually an awful thing to do in normal circumstances. You couldn't have known

I went through a vaguely similar situation but thank god the girl was saved by paramedics and seems pretty happy now.

I really feel for you though. That's dark. My girl never told me I was the only thing she had, and I never said anything cruel that could leave me living with guilt.
You could say she's selfish for putting that horrible burden on you but really she can't have been in a good place. There's nothing to do but not dwell too much on it I guess.

[Travesty]

(06-15-2015 02:46 PM)Kristoph Wrote:  

(06-15-2015 02:43 PM)Travesty444 Wrote:  

(06-15-2015 02:31 PM)Kristoph Wrote:  

...

How many slut signs did she exhibit before the incident?

EDIT: Now you mention it I remember; daddy issues. Parents split up for 14 years, each had other children, her mother put on 150 pounds, then they got back together. Plus two of her uncles were in and out of prison. I played cards with her dad and his brothers once and while they were a nice enough bunch of blokes they were clearly pretty mental.

Yeah those are big.

She had no stable male to look up to, a sloppy mom, and no sense of core family, the parental attention was split everywhere else. Slut fodder.

Just to suppress the Jaded By Women Index we need to tell the truth about circumstances of these incidents. This girl was haywire before you ever met her.

[Aenigmarius]

(06-15-2015 02:31 PM)Kristoph Wrote:  

I was besotted with my first 'steady' girlfriend when I was a young lad.............

Damn, that was painful to read. Mostly because I know women are like that.

This is the kind of thing I have to remember every time I am dealing with a female.

Even from a young age, they'll blue ball you for being a nice guy, break your heart for being boring, double team a couple random guys a week later, and laugh at the pics of her getting spit-roasted that they sent you.

"Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks."

[Travesty]

If I broke up with a chick that was way into me and threatened to kill herself, I would cut off sex, go super beta, be very attentive and spend time just hanging out and warn the family after a few weeks once things are better, then slowly zone out with being "busy".

[Kristoph]

(06-15-2015 03:01 PM)Travesty444 Wrote:  

(06-15-2015 02:46 PM)Kristoph Wrote:  

(06-15-2015 02:43 PM)Travesty444 Wrote:  

(06-15-2015 02:31 PM)Kristoph Wrote:  

...

How many slut signs did she exhibit before the incident?

EDIT: Now you mention it I remember; daddy issues. Parents split up for 14 years, each had other children, her mother put on 150 pounds, then they got back together. Plus two of her uncles were in and out of prison. I played cards with her dad and his brothers once and while they were a nice enough bunch of blokes they were clearly pretty mental.

Yeah those are big.

She had no stable male to look up to, a sloppy mom, and no sense of core family, the parental attention was split everywhere else. Slut fodder.

Lucky break for the guys in the hotel

[Eddie Winslow]

My ex girlfriend convinced me to come home (NJ, 15 minutes from my house) and see her for the weekend while I was away at school (DC). I bought a $200 roundtrip train ticket and cheerfully headed home. I called her a bunch of times while I was home to see when I could stop by her house and hang out. She didn't answer at all, and claimed she "took a nap" for the entire day on Saturday. Had a "migraine" on Friday night and some other awesome excuse on Sunday. Didn't get to see her at all.

[Carlos100]

* A girl in my community I had a one-night stand with when both of us were drunk put up posters all over the neighborhood and flyers on peoples cars with my full name saying I was a rapist. I was scheduled to move away a month later so it didn't have any repercussions, but it wasn't a pleasant experience. I basically stayed in my house and out of sight that last month and locked my car in the garage every night because I was scared someone would vandalize it.

* My steady girlfriend cheated on me with a casual acquaintance of ours when I was away on a week-long work trip, then ignored me when I returned. I didn't find out what happened until I finally cornered her and asked her what was going on. Fortunately, I had another spinning plate at the time, but it still hurt because I liked the steady girlfriend better and the other girl lived some distance away.

* I've had two girls that I broke up with, and was still not completely over them, call me up and brag that they had banged some other dude. One of them didn't bother me too much because I wasn't that emotionally attached to her, but the other I had been dating, and practically living together, for over a year. That one fucked with my mind.

All good experiences that taught me that it's important to always be spinning plates, not get too emotionally attached to women, and to be more careful with drunken hook-ups as false rape accusations can result.

[DetlefMourning]

It was my first super serious relationship. I did a lot of things that would be mocked and derided here as beta, but up until the day it ended, I got nothing but positive feedback from the woman in question, so why would I have done things any differently without hindsight? That relationship and the aftermath is what led me to taking the red pill and the RV Forum.

I was super awkward and geeky as a teenager and young adult. Didn't know how to talk to girls. Never went on a date in high school and college. Didn't lose my virginity until I was well into my twenties. By the time I met my ex, I'd had a few girlfriends and racked up a few notches, but looking back I was still pretty inexperienced when it came to this stuff. You'll read what follows and notice the red flags I missed at the time and the obvious mistakes I made, so please be kind. Trust me, I had plenty of time in the aftermath to be alone with my thoughts and reflect on how things ended up so badly and how I should've known that this couldn't have ended well.

We were both in our early thirties. The relationship lasted a year. She was hot, at least an 8, and the kind of girl that would've never noticed my existence in high school. She told me at the beginning that most of her relationships were short-term because the guys would annoy her and she had only two previous that lasted as long as a year. In her early twenties she partied a lot and about 4-5 years before we met she was arrested for possession of speed. After that she drastically changed her lifestyle habits. On our very first date I remember asking some generic getting to know you question about her family and she told me that her biological father abandoned her mother in pregnancy and told her to get an abortion, and that her stepdad is who she considered her real father. Red Flag #1 was on the first date and I didn't even know it.

Anyways we hit it off, had a great connection and chemistry, similar values, goals in life. We started talking marriage after several months. Go ahead and laugh at me, but in the conservative Christian culture I was raised in, if you love a woman and want to be with her for the long haul, you get married. I have a card from her from Valentine’s Day where she writes “I have always been wondering when God would bring my future husband into my life and now I’ve found him. I know I will succeed in life with you as my husband by my side.” She sat her parents down and told them I was The One and I was different from all the other guys she’d ever dated. She told me throughout the time we were together that it was the best relationship she’d ever been in and I was the best guy she'd ever had. She even introduced me to her biological father, something she had never done with any guy she had ever dated before. Before me, she had had no contact with him for three years. After we started dating, she broke three years of silence and told him that there was somebody she wanted him to meet. Her parents wanted to meet mine after she sat them down and told them I was The One. It's hard to describe now, but I truly believed I had met the person I was meant to be with. She was kind and sweet, and she made me feel like I had hung the moon in her eyes. None of the shitty attitude with so many carousel riders these days.

As we closed in on a year, we started looking at wedding and reception venues together. There were also visits to jewelry stores to look at rings. That summer we went to spend the weekend with her parents and at dinner she told her mom in front of me "I was sitting out by the pool today after work and I kept thinking to myself 'You know, I really love that boy.'"

It was fall. Our anniversary, her birthday and Christmas was all coming up. She told me all she wanted in the way of gifts for those occasions were gold earrings. When I asked her if she wanted white gold or yellow gold earrings, she replied "Oh, I'm glad you asked. I want yellow gold earrings, but a white gold ring (hint hint)."

A few days later I went over to her place to hang out and have dinner. When I got there, I told her I had secured a job interview for the coming weekend for a second job, since that was the only way I could pay for the ring. After dinner the phone rings and it's my mom. My dad had driven home drunk from work and crashed both vehicles pulling into the driveway. She wanted my help getting him checked into a rehab facility. My dad is a severe alcoholic and this was the latest incident. I left to go help my mom and get my dad checked into an in-patient facility.

Two days later on a Saturday morning I was woken up by a text message from my girlfriend. She wanted to come over. We had a wedding to go to that night on the other side of the metro area I live in, and I was curious why she wanted to come over so early when we weren't supposed to meet up until later in the day.

The whole thing took about 20 minutes and honestly I did most of the talking. The first thing she said was that she didn't feel like she could love me the way I wanted to be loved and needed to be loved. Bewildered, I told her I didn’t feel neglected by her. She said when I gave her compliments and showed her affection, she didn’t feel like that person on the inside. She said she’d never been in a relationship longer than a year and she always does this. She said she didn’t want to waste anymore of my time and make me go to weddings I don’t want to go to and don’t have to go to.

The whole thing lasted about 20 minutes and honestly I did most of the talking. The very last thing she said to me before walking out of my apartment was "You're everything I've ever wanted in a man, but I can't get married."

She's very religious and comes from a very conservative background. A couple of weeks before we broke up she made a very weird comment about how she wanted to go to heaven now. I was like “What the hell? Don’t you mean you want to go to heaven when you die? What about our future together? You’re not looking forward to that?” And she says “Don’t worry, I’m not suicidal, I’d just rather be there now.” There were also a few other occasions the last month we were together where she said she wished Jesus would come back already.

I never called/texted/emailed. The only two gestures I made post breakup were to send her flowers and I wrote her a snail letter. The snail letter was about two weeks after the breakup. I had some friends look it over first so I didn’t come across as pathetically begging to get back together or being hateful or spiteful. I basically just said that I respected her decision if she thought that was for the best, but that I thought what we had together was worth trying to save and that I wanted to try couples counseling. And if she didn’t want to do that, then we couldn’t be friends or remain in touch. Her response to that final letter was to maintain 3 months of radio silence and then she emailed me during funeral preparations for my grandfather to ask for her bike back that was at my place.

It was sad and weird seeing her again. The whole encounter lasted four minutes. I could tell she was genuinely glad to see me, but it felt like there was this invisible plane between us. I was told by all my friends and family to just keep it all business, don't cry in front of her, don't bring up the breakup, just be pleasant and polite and stay calm. And that's what I did. I loaded her bike into the car, we exchanged pleasantries and the only thing I said was “I just want to say take care of yourself, I wish you well, I will always care about you, and thank you for letting me be a part of your life.” And she said “Thank you” and then I told her goodbye and walked back inside.

We never saw or spoke to one another ever again.

[Travesty]

^ Never fall for a girl without an extremely solid, stable, strong father figure that is biologically related (uncle, grandfather, older cousin). Girls never fully recover from a lack of this. Never.

They have stints of acting like a healthy well-adjusted woman. This is just a good arc on the way back down.

Attachment to a man doesn't make sense to them because they have never had it in childhood.

[DetlefMourning]

(06-15-2015 06:34 PM)Travesty444 Wrote:  

^ Never fall for a girl without an extremely solid, stable, strong father figure that is biologically related (uncle, grandfather, older cousin). Girls never fully recover from a lack of this. Never.

They have stints of acting like a healthy well-adjusted woman. This is just a good arc on the way back down.

Attachment to a man doesn't make sense to them because they have never had it in childhood.

Yes. Had to learn this in the hardest of ways.

[Roardog]

I was at a house party in senior year of high school with my girl friend at the time. I was a bit drunk but she was very drunk. She was horny and wanted to have sex and so dragged me into the bushes. We got hot and heavy but because of the alcohol I couldn't get hard. For some reason this upset her a lot and she stormed off.
I straightened my clothes and wandered back to the party where I see my girlfriend acting upset in a huddle of her girlfriends, all of whom are giving me death stares.
I don't think much of it as she is always a drama queen and comes crawling back when she calms down. I leave the party a short time later, without saying goodbye, as I had work in the morning.

The next morning at work I got flooded by angry messages from her friends accusing me of sexually assaulting/raping her. I was shocked and terrified and spent the entire day expecting to see police rock up to my work to arrest me. It didn't matter that I was innocent, in a small town like the one I grew up in, that kind of mud sticks.

Needless to say I sent her a nuclear text dumping her and telling her to stop the lies and living in a fantasy world.
Luckily nothing official ever came of it and the rumor never got any traction.

The worst thing was my "best friend" at the time even drove to my house to ask me if it was true. The fact that he had to even ask me really hurt.
I later found out that he was actually white anting me as he wanted my girlfriend. After he came and saw me and I denied the accusations he went back to my girlfriend and I told her I admitted to it.

They later got together and hid it from me until on the last day of school, when I'd stayed the night at his place, she walked out of his bedroom while I was having breakfast with his mum.

[Tailgunner]

Ex LTR.
Serious relationship, I was in love with her. She got pregnant accidentally but we decided to have it (she had three teenagers from her marriage, had them young)...I figured might as well have at least one of my own! She was an easy 8.5 and a very good mum.
I lent her daughter an old phone of mine when hers was broken,didn't go through it as it had been a couple of years since I'd used it. But my girl before hers number was in the phone ( I met her while still seeing other girl,she knew about previous girl,upset,blah,blah).
She called old gf who had nothing good to say about me,told LTR to leave me...all bad shit.
We fought and I actually bailed (we were living together about 25 kms from the beach) down the coast for a few days and lived in my car,surfed...let things cool off a bit.
She came and found me after I told her where I was...she was all distraught. Said she'd miscarried the baby and blamed me for all the stress,fighting,etc affecting her...
I felt horrible and not being any kind of expert thought her reasoning may have been right.
We patched things up and went along. She crying a lot about the lost baby,me being supportive. Like I say,I really loved this girl and hung up my player spurs to be with her (she had been one of my harem girls for about six months before we properly got together)...She knew about the other girls.
About three months later she said she wanted to "talk to me about something"...
She hadn't miscarried but had got an abortion.
I was excited to become a father (at 40 I figured it was time)...
Women have an endless capacity to deceive and of course rationalize their shitty behavior/actions and deflect blame elsewhere.
She continued blaming me for her having an abortion.
I was quite sad months later when Father's Day came around as it would have been my first with a baby son or daughter.

[rudeBoy]

(06-15-2015 05:54 PM)DetlefMourning Wrote:  

It was my first super serious relationship. I did a lot of things that would be mocked and derided here as beta, but up until the day it ended, I got nothing but positive feedback from the woman in question, so why would I have done things any differently without hindsight? That relationship and the aftermath is what led me to taking the red pill and the RV Forum.

I was super awkward and geeky as a teenager and young adult. Didn't know how to talk to girls. Never went on a date in high school and college. Didn't lose my virginity until I was well into my twenties. By the time I met my ex, I'd had a few girlfriends and racked up a few notches, but looking back I was still pretty inexperienced when it came to this stuff. You'll read what follows and notice the red flags I missed at the time and the obvious mistakes I made, so please be kind. Trust me, I had plenty of time in the aftermath to be alone with my thoughts and reflect on how things ended up so badly and how I should've known that this couldn't have ended well.

We were both in our early thirties. The relationship lasted a year. She was hot, at least an 8, and the kind of girl that would've never noticed my existence in high school. She told me at the beginning that most of her relationships were short-term because the guys would annoy her and she had only two previous that lasted as long as a year. In her early twenties she partied a lot and about 4-5 years before we met she was arrested for possession of speed. After that she drastically changed her lifestyle habits. On our very first date I remember asking some generic getting to know you question about her family and she told me that her biological father abandoned her mother in pregnancy and told her to get an abortion, and that her stepdad is who she considered her real father. Red Flag #1 was on the first date and I didn't even know it.

Anyways we hit it off, had a great connection and chemistry, similar values, goals in life. We started talking marriage after several months. Go ahead and laugh at me, but in the conservative Christian culture I was raised in, if you love a woman and want to be with her for the long haul, you get married. I have a card from her from Valentine’s Day where she writes “I have always been wondering when God would bring my future husband into my life and now I’ve found him. I know I will succeed in life with you as my husband by my side.” She sat her parents down and told them I was The One and I was different from all the other guys she’d ever dated. She told me throughout the time we were together that it was the best relationship she’d ever been in and I was the best guy she'd ever had. She even introduced me to her biological father, something she had never done with any guy she had ever dated before. Before me, she had had no contact with him for three years. After we started dating, she broke three years of silence and told him that there was somebody she wanted him to meet. Her parents wanted to meet mine after she sat them down and told them I was The One. It's hard to describe now, but I truly believed I had met the person I was meant to be with. She was kind and sweet, and she made me feel like I had hung the moon in her eyes. None of the shitty attitude with so many carousel riders these days.

As we closed in on a year, we started looking at wedding and reception venues together. There were also visits to jewelry stores to look at rings. That summer we went to spend the weekend with her parents and at dinner she told her mom in front of me "I was sitting out by the pool today after work and I kept thinking to myself 'You know, I really love that boy.'"

It was fall. Our anniversary, her birthday and Christmas was all coming up. She told me all she wanted in the way of gifts for those occasions were gold earrings. When I asked her if she wanted white gold or yellow gold earrings, she replied "Oh, I'm glad you asked. I want yellow gold earrings, but a white gold ring (hint hint)."

A few days later I went over to her place to hang out and have dinner. When I got there, I told her I had secured a job interview for the coming weekend for a second job, since that was the only way I could pay for the ring. After dinner the phone rings and it's my mom. My dad had driven home drunk from work and crashed both vehicles pulling into the driveway. She wanted my help getting him checked into a rehab facility. My dad is a severe alcoholic and this was the latest incident. I left to go help my mom and get my dad checked into an in-patient facility.

Two days later on a Saturday morning I was woken up by a text message from my girlfriend. She wanted to come over. We had a wedding to go to that night on the other side of the metro area I live in, and I was curious why she wanted to come over so early when we weren't supposed to meet up until later in the day.

The whole thing took about 20 minutes and honestly I did most of the talking. The first thing she said was that she didn't feel like she could love me the way I wanted to be loved and needed to be loved. Bewildered, I told her I didn’t feel neglected by her. She said when I gave her compliments and showed her affection, she didn’t feel like that person on the inside. She said she’d never been in a relationship longer than a year and she always does this. She said she didn’t want to waste anymore of my time and make me go to weddings I don’t want to go to and don’t have to go to.

The whole thing lasted about 20 minutes and honestly I did most of the talking. The very last thing she said to me before walking out of my apartment was "You're everything I've ever wanted in a man, but I can't get married."

She's very religious and comes from a very conservative background. A couple of weeks before we broke up she made a very weird comment about how she wanted to go to heaven now. I was like “What the hell? Don’t you mean you want to go to heaven when you die? What about our future together? You’re not looking forward to that?” And she says “Don’t worry, I’m not suicidal, I’d just rather be there now.” There were also a few other occasions the last month we were together where she said she wished Jesus would come back already.

I never called/texted/emailed. The only two gestures I made post breakup were to send her flowers and I wrote her a snail letter. The snail letter was about two weeks after the breakup. I had some friends look it over first so I didn’t come across as pathetically begging to get back together or being hateful or spiteful. I basically just said that I respected her decision if she thought that was for the best, but that I thought what we had together was worth trying to save and that I wanted to try couples counseling. And if she didn’t want to do that, then we couldn’t be friends or remain in touch. Her response to that final letter was to maintain 3 months of radio silence and then she emailed me during funeral preparations for my grandfather to ask for her bike back that was at my place.

It was sad and weird seeing her again. The whole encounter lasted four minutes. I could tell she was genuinely glad to see me, but it felt like there was this invisible plane between us. I was told by all my friends and family to just keep it all business, don't cry in front of her, don't bring up the breakup, just be pleasant and polite and stay calm. And that's what I did. I loaded her bike into the car, we exchanged pleasantries and the only thing I said was “I just want to say take care of yourself, I wish you well, I will always care about you, and thank you for letting me be a part of your life.” And she said “Thank you” and then I told her goodbye and walked back inside.

We never saw or spoke to one another ever again.

Right in the feels.

[MrSleepless]

Woman can be fucking evil on earth. cold...dry ice cold.....

[Vincent Chase]

One girlfriend broke up with me over the phone when my grandmother died. I remember informing her over the phone in a bit of pain half crying.

Well she could sense weakness and wasn't enjoying it since she was getting no value from me, and honestly she couldn't give a fuck whatsover. I was pretty down at the time. She somehow managed to swing the conversation into shaming me that I didn't find a job yet (I did find a really good job eventually in finance) - shaming me in every which way telling me that her friends all found great jobs and that she doesn't understand me and that it is all my fault.

She then told me I'm like a brother to her (this is after banging her for about 6 months) and that she already has a brother and doesn't need another one. It was a genuinely painful conversation from an utter cunt.