[Don]

Question is simple: say you get a girls' digits, you text for a bit, ask her out for drinks (or whatever your date move is) and she rejects without a counter-offer. What do you do? I've heard people say 'delete # and move on', others have a "3 strikes rule" while others persist until she no longer replies.

Personally I'm very strict on this: if a girl rejects my offer with no counter and she never re-initiates i just forget about her and move on, but I'm starting to think that i might be selling myself short and losing out on bangs. I just find it difficult to keep trying without feeling like a chump when i see that she's not investing in the interaction. I also apply this to # from cold approach, if she doesn't answer my first message after our interaction I never text again.

What is your opinion?

[solipsis85]

I think you're right, there's no point to insist if she refuses and don't propose another time.

[haywire]

Simple - put her in the mass texting list. There is going to be a day when she's lonely and low because her dog passed away or she got dumped or got cheated on or saw the pics of her ex getting married or is just horny, and if your "Happy Veterans Day" text reaches her on that day don't you think there's a high chance she'll bite?

[Aliblahba]

Never ask more than once. After that it's groveling. Maintain your manhood.

Down the road, when you've 'arrived', girls will be asking you out. And nothing feels better than rejecting a girl, or making her beg.

[Coldfire]

Once if she says no I see no point in asking again

[CleanSlate]

I'm no veteran and I have not banged that many chicks, but I can't remember a single instance of banging a chick who initially said no without a counteroffer and/or flaked without asking to reschedule for a specific day or time.

[WestIndianArchie]

You're probably not getting strong #'s if you get that reaction on a regular basis. (or if you're getting #'s primarily online, or at the end of a drunken night from a young chick)

But let's assume that
- your approach was strong
- made a connection
- talked a bit, built more attraction and rapport

And then she

1) doesn't reply - hit her up at a later time, once. Then #2

2) weak denial/strong denial
a) put her name on your "cold #'s" LIST. (bcc everyone)
b) send out semi-regular restart texts - you'll catch a few bangs that way.

Restart text,

"We're out at XXX, it's a blast, you should come out"

or

take a picture of a DVD, 2 glasses, and a box of wine + "let's hang"

WIA

[Dalaran1991]

(03-03-2015 04:37 PM)Don Wrote:  

But I'm starting to think that i might be selling myself short and losing out on bangs. I just find it difficult to keep trying without feeling like a chump when i see that she's not investing in the interaction. I also apply this to # from cold approach, if she doesn't answer my first message after our interaction I never text again.

What is your opinion?

You are. I used to think exactly the same. That's one thing I don't necessarily agree with on this forum. Everybody says "next" as if it's standard procedures at DMV. The thing is if you keep nexting you will soon burn out of prospects very fast. I understand the abundance mentality, but nexting indiscriminately is as bad as mass spam approaching. The truth is, if you read the "I just get laid" thread a shit tons of notches there are acquired after several tries.

Do what Gio said in another post: next her emotionally and psychologically, but not mechanically. By that I mean still text her to get her out and try to bang her, but putting in zero investment and expectation. What are you gonna lose by sending out a small restart text? Do it for fun while in the toilet. Use her to try out new techniques. You never know you might run into something.

If you delete her # and next her, your chances go to zero. If you really don't give a shit but still text her, your chance go to something. Law of average in place.

*I'm talking about girls who rep but give no counter offer. Girls who just don't rep, 3 strikes and you are out*

[Gyaleth]

It really depends on the situation.
If a girl rejects to go out with me and doesn't reschedule then it's over for me.
If she does mention another time to meet up then I wait and eventually restart. If she flakes again, regardless of reschedule or not, I next her.

[Disco_Volante]

If a girl turns you down, you should walk away.
If you think it's a 'playful' no, and she really wants you to chase, then you are walking down a slippery slope of becoming her orbiter.

There were many cases where girls would flirt, turn me down, flirt with me again and basically string me along because I allowed her to. You start making excuses for her like
'she only turned me down because shes nervous and I need to make her comfortable' or whatever. If you start chasing that just leads to frustration and anger. If you haven't noticed, girls' desire for attention is off the charts high. Its likely she just wants an option and orbiter.

walk away after 1 rejection!

[Atlantic]

Once attempt when asking directly.

I will keep her number 'lukewarm' numbers though and do occasional mass texts - Christmas, Holidays, Paddy's weekend etc. I have gotten a few easy bangs off group texts over the years with very little effort so its worth keeping the number.

[polar]

If she goes cold once I'll reopen in 3 to 5 days, try to build a little comfort, then ask out again within 2-3 texts. If heads, she'll come out. I won't go more than a few texts before asking out, if I catch her replying right away I might call her for 10 min to build comfort.

If she goes cold a second time I'll wait a few days again then try bolder new material / fuck around with funny pictures, etc...for my amusement, not hers. If she's a no go, I add "cold" to her name in my phone and put her texts in a separate folder. Every few months you can try a hail Mary text. Low reward, but low cost too.

I have gotten dates from cold leads, don't recall any closes personally...but I'm also no master pickup artist.

[CH-Toronto]

(03-03-2015 07:58 PM)Gyaleth Wrote:  

It really depends on the situation.
If a girl rejects to go out with me and doesn't reschedule then it's over for me.
If she does mention another time to meet up then I wait and eventually restart. If she flakes again, regardless of reschedule or not, I next her.

This is pretty much what it all comes down to. If a girl was asked out by (Famous Actor) and they couldn't make it, do you think they would reschedule, or leave it at 'no'.

[Pride male]

Go with your gut. Cant really generalise. Sometimes you plow, sometimes you say ciao. Depends on the vibe you get.

[Alche]

I keep trying until i lose interest or she explicitly says no.

[Parlay44]

Easy. Stop asking for numbers. Go for the snl.

[Rawmeo]

I usually work with the 2-strike rule.

If she rejects one time without any counter-offer, for example a retarded text like "I'm busy this week sorry" or "Not today, I'll let you know then", or any obvious lack of judgement, this is strike 1. I wait a few days and retry.

If I get the same result, I answer "k" and put her in the cold list. Make the "k" lowercase, as it has a psychological hamster-spinning potential.

If I already banged the girl, I am more flexible and apply a 3-strike rule, but NEVER MORE.

[coverdoc]

Rawmeo (great name BTW) has the right idea. 2 strikes is enough, 1 strike rule probably cuts out 10-15% of girls you could have banged, 2 strikes cuts out probably 1% max. And the magical "k" is awesome.

[Parlay44]

(03-05-2015 10:53 AM)Rawmeo Wrote:  

I usually work with the 2-strike rule.

If she rejects one time without any counter-offer, for example a retarded text like "I'm busy this week sorry" or "Not today, I'll let you know then", or any obvious lack of judgement, this is strike 1. I wait a few days and retry.

If I get the same result, I answer "k" and put her in the cold list. Make the "k" lowercase, as it has a psychological hamster-spinning potential.

If I already banged the girl, I am more flexible and apply a 3-strike rule, but NEVER MORE.

Phones auto-capitalize so sending a lowercase k is like a purposeful fuck you.

[Ternarydemonite]

I concur with the 2-strike rule. Unless she provides a very plausible excuse or she reinitiates contact, there is no reason to calla woman a third time.

[barnbarn2k]

Ive used the three strikes thing. On a few occasions women have asked me why i haven't asked them out. I said i did 3 times. Then i told them the three times. They got pissed. If a chicks into you it should be simple and easy. Almost seem too easy. If you are battling her for little things don't bother. The best answer for "why haven't you asked me out" is i thought you only wanted to be friends or something along that line. Life is too short you are better off finding chicks that are into you and gaming them. It's not worth it struggling for a dinner date to not get anywhere with her and she just goes home and calls over a fwb.

[Rawmeo]

If a chick is really into you, she will make time for you. Otherwise, she will be "busy".

Think about it.

Situation #1:
You finish work, and you are tired a bit. A friend of yours wants to have drinks with you. At the same time, an ugly chick tells you "Hey this is Amanda, wanna do for dinner?"
==> Sorry, I am busy, I am tired from work.

Situation #2:
You finish work, and you are tired a bit. A friend of yours wants to have drinks with you. At the same time, a 9/10 tells you "Hey this is Maria, come over! I wanna see that new movie at my place!"
==> Sure what time?

In both situations, your schedule is the same. You're busy for one, and available for the other. Girls work the exact same way. How about if Amanda insists? You will get pissed. Girls work the same way.

If she doesn't seem to have time, that's strike 1, because she probably just made a mistake. If she does that trick again, NEXT.

If she sends you a restart text, make sure, over text, that's is a guaranteed notch. Something like "sure, come to my place, you're gonna like it" or anything that makes your intention clear. If she wants a dinner date or something like that, you've likely been friendzoned, don't even bother replying.

[Lizard King]

What about when trying to line up date #2?

I had a date last night that went quite well and ended with kissing and lots of physical contact before she went home.

She is going on holiday for 2 weeks starting next week, so I texted "we should squeeze in another date this week". She has seen the message(whatsapp) but no reply yet.

I'm tempted to try to force a yes or no out of her, but know I should seek the advice of wiser and more experienced players before I proceed.

[Rawmeo]

The fact that there was a lot of physical contact and kissing, and trying to see her before she leaves, might have trigged her ASD. She knows that the next logical step is sex.

I'd try to send a text tomorrow about something that just happened (doesn't need to be true), such as "my friend just showed me a place that looks cool", then when getting a reply, retry with scheduling the date.

If it still doesn't work, assume she's dead in the water. Girls can go cold for any reason and we will never understand why.

That's just my advice though, let's see what other players think.

[Lizard King]

We've already talked about sex a lot before the date. I should have got us talking about it on the date(newb error?). So I'm inclined to think it isn't ASD, but yes, we'll see what others say. Thanks.