[blacknwhitespade]

I had a first date with a girl Thursday night that I'd met online. We grabbed coffed and chatted for 1.5 hours at a book store, joked around while looking at books, then walked around and found a boba tea house. Felt like we had some good banter going, she's a bit shy (so am I) and she had been really flaky/slow with answering her phone/texts even before we met. I almost thought she was gonna flake just before the date.

Anyways, texted her yesterday (Friday) afternoon just saying hi and mentioning something funny from our date. Haven't heard anything since. Should I give her a call? She wasn't very consistent about answering her phone even before we'd gone out. What type of message should I leave if she doesn't answer? I sense she's on the fence about me, or maybe she's just a really flaky woman with her cell phone. I was thinking of giving her a ring and leaving a message tomorrow (Sunday) afternoon as one last shot. I like her, flakiness aside, and would love to meet her again. Is there anything else I can do in a situation like this? What is good protocol for post-first date follow ups to secure a second date??

[ThePianoMan]

Sometimes just taking some time away from talking to them is better than seeming over eager. You could take 5-7 days off, then randomly see if she wants to get together. Find an activity with a flexible schedule so she can't claim she's busy. If she declines or find excuses, hit the eject button. If she wants to see you more, she'll eventually get in touch.

[blacknwhitespade]

(08-18-2014 01:57 AM)ThePianoMan Wrote:  

Sometimes just taking some time away from talking to them is better than seeming over eager. You could take 5-7 days off, then randomly see if she wants to get together. Find an activity with a flexible schedule so she can't claim she's busy. If she declines or find excuses, hit the eject button. If she wants to see you more, she'll eventually get in touch.

So, she got back to me with a text Saturday evening just saying hey back and how she had been busy helping her brother move to a new place. I waited and called Sunday evening, left her a smooth message asking her out to an all weekend music festival this week, then sent her a text 2 hrs later "hey what's new?". Haven't heard anything. I really wanted to meet her again, guess there's nothing more I can do at this point without looking desperate?

[Virtus]

You really can not do anything anymore to link less desperate. Girls you haven't made your main don't get fancy weekend dates. Just chill the ball in her court and she may respond. Go find more girls

[Virtus]

Also we have a "what do I text now" thread

[Donkey_Riding]

OP, your main problem here is that you're acting needy. You should have waited at least a day after the date to text her rather than texting her the next day. When she is slow to respond to your texts, the worst thing you can do is pursue her more aggressively by calling her and then texting again soon after calling. If she doesn't respond to your first post-date text you have to accept that you will probably never see her again (but if you want you can try a hail-mary restart text a few days to a week later).

You probably also need to work on your in-date game. Did you kino at all on your date? Did you kiss her? From the description you gave it sounds like it could have been a lunch date with a friend. Prioritize physical escalation and logistics so you can isolate her and try for sex. It's usually better to get drinks in the evening for a first date.