[Puddles]

a life long friend of mine has recently got into a relationship with a girl. she's a nice girl, 7/10, cooks and can laugh at the odd rape joke or two. so fair to say that I don't have a problem with the girl personally. but what I do have a problem is how my friend has changed his life for her.

let me elaborate, he is very blue pill. but is a good lookin bloke who works out, is charismatic and earns a decent amount of money so he does well with women. before meeting her (on tinder I might add) he was in the process of enlisting in the military and has since put this, and the rest of his life on hold so that he can be with this girl. this isn't the first time he has done this either but I won't get into that.

other friends of mine who also frequent this forum have tried to introduce him to the red pill mindset but he more or less rejects the whole idea.

I know that i can't ever be that friend who is a yes man, and I need to show him the errors of his ways, but am stumped for ideas. I'm sure this has happened to, well most of you. how did you handle this?

[Samseau]

You don't. Make him aware and then let him decide if the dice roll is worth it.

[amity]

What Samseau said.
I've mentioned a few red pill topics to friends and acquaintances here and there and almost without exception, they don't get it or don't appreciate it or think you're some kind of nut (or all three).
And that goes tenfold for women. Don't even think of going there with them.
99.99% of blue pill folks do not or cannot appreciate what you say, waste of time.
As and from today, I'm no longer going to mention any red pill stuff to anyone outside this forum (unless it's obvious they're already red pill).

[Jasper]

I have a good friend I've hung with for many years. A couple of years ago he was really quite beta, not confident or cool in social situations and totally clueless with chicks. But last year or so has been somewhat of a transformation for him. Now his confidence and self worth is pretty high, day game approaches without much thought and bangs new chicks (even whilst still living at his parents place). I like to think I had part to play in this but at the end of the day he had to want to improve his life to be receptive.

It's cool you want to help your buddy out but its not always easy - or even possible. For my friend it was a slow process. Over the last year or so I have bounced ideas around him but he rejected it all at the beginning. I gave up on him. But the funniest thing happened , he came back to me saying he's actually seeing and experiencing stuff I'd said. He started to get it and was more willing to listen. He's started to become more outgoing, wanting to meet new people and of course hit on girls.

I sent him a couple of things to read and he did his own research into PUA. In fact it got to a point where he straight up said he wanted to go on a bootcamp. So suggested we meet up with Bojangles from 3 Bromigos in London. Well worth it and a top guy. This somewhat turbo charged his confidence and drive. He's got enough momentum now that he will try out his own things, doesn't need me to kick his ass. In fact sometimes he kicks mine..

All I think you can do is keep casually touching on red pill knowledge, thoughts and chats about girls with him. When he finally identifies with it he may be willing to take the pill. Hope this helps.

[Vigo_the_Carpathian]

It's incredibly tough--I'd say the overwhelming majority of my friends would reject this forum or ROK just out of hand, due to their deep levels of brainwashing.

The one tactic that's worked in the past is to "backdoor" them into the community via an underused resource: the "Travel" section of this forum. Basically, if he's going to visit somewhere that has a datasheet up, send him a link with "Hey, was looking around online, and stumbled on this--pretty cool stuff." Works MUCH better if you're going with or it's a group of buddies so it doesn't come off as quite so , that you're somehow invested in your buddy's travel plans.

From there, you can only hope that he checks out the forums and goes down the rabbit hole.

It's tougher if he's in a relationship already since a lot of datasheets have a heavy sloot component to them, but hey, no plan is perfect...

Vigo

[Coldfire]

Some people can only find it on their own. I know I wouldn't be here if I didn't find the manosphere on my own.

[The Beast1]

(07-11-2014 07:25 AM)Puddles Wrote:  

a life long friend of mine has recently got into a relationship with a girl. she's a nice girl, 7/10, cooks and can laugh at the odd rape joke or two. so fair to say that I don't have a problem with the girl personally. but what I do have a problem is how my friend has changed his life for her.

let me elaborate, he is very blue pill. but is a good lookin bloke who works out, is charismatic and earns a decent amount of money so he does well with women. before meeting her (on tinder I might add) he was in the process of enlisting in the military and has since put this, and the rest of his life on hold so that he can be with this girl. this isn't the first time he has done this either but I won't get into that.

other friends of mine who also frequent this forum have tried to introduce him to the red pill mindset but he more or less rejects the whole idea.

I know that i can't ever be that friend who is a yes man, and I need to show him the errors of his ways, but am stumped for ideas. I'm sure this has happened to, well most of you. how did you handle this?

What the hell is wrong with his decisions? Maybe he wants to settle down and have a family regardless of the consequences. Half of marriages fail, maybe he'll be one in the blessed half that don't fail.

What is your definition of red pill? There's far more to being red pill than slaying lizards, wearing custom up suits, and hitting the gym. It's about self improvement and honestly looking at all sides of a situation instead of coming to some knee jerk reaction.

If the girl wasn't a cock goblin and from what you say is genuinely nice, ask him if settling down is what he wants instead of being free. If he says yes, than pat him on the back, smile, and wish him well.

[Samseau]

(07-11-2014 09:13 AM)frenchie Wrote:  

(07-11-2014 07:25 AM)Puddles Wrote:  

a life long friend of mine has recently got into a relationship with a girl. she's a nice girl, 7/10, cooks and can laugh at the odd rape joke or two. so fair to say that I don't have a problem with the girl personally. but what I do have a problem is how my friend has changed his life for her.

let me elaborate, he is very blue pill. but is a good lookin bloke who works out, is charismatic and earns a decent amount of money so he does well with women. before meeting her (on tinder I might add) he was in the process of enlisting in the military and has since put this, and the rest of his life on hold so that he can be with this girl. this isn't the first time he has done this either but I won't get into that.

other friends of mine who also frequent this forum have tried to introduce him to the red pill mindset but he more or less rejects the whole idea.

I know that i can't ever be that friend who is a yes man, and I need to show him the errors of his ways, but am stumped for ideas. I'm sure this has happened to, well most of you. how did you handle this?

What the hell is wrong with his decisions? Maybe he wants to settle down and have a family regardless of the consequences. Half of marriages fail, maybe he'll be one in the blessed half that don't fail.

What is your definition of red pill? There's far more to being red pill than slaying lizards, wearing custom up suits, and hitting the gym. It's about self improvement and honestly looking at all sides of a situation instead of coming to some knee jerk reaction.

If the girl wasn't a cock goblin and from what you say is genuinely nice, ask him if settling down is what he wants instead of being free. If he says yes, than pat him on the back, smile, and wish him well.

You really believe he's gonna meet marriage material off of tinder?

[game_ethic]

I agree with frenchie. Unless he's sad and his life is in a downward spiral, which it isn't from what you described, then just leave him be. As sad as it sounds, some people need their "aha" moment(e.g., divorce, break up, cheat, etc) to fully swallow the red pill. No amount of introducing him to the forum or the manosphere will help.

Right now it sounds as if you're deciding how he should live.

[Cobra]

^^^ This @ Frenchie.

We at RVF seem to generally have a singular view of the red pill. I guess it's tough not to when you haven't experienced a truly traditional lifestyle.

For example, an unmarried guy talking about how fucked up marriage is. That's just like a huge sports fan talking about how good a team is without ever stepping foot inside a field. While I appreciate the views, there is no credibility there for me to give it much weight.

So appreciate hearing more about the less explored but more classic ways of masculinity which I'm a huge advocate of.

[The Beast1]

(07-11-2014 09:18 AM)Samseau Wrote:  

You really believe he's gonna meet marriage material off of tinder?

Honestly who knows and since we haven't met and don't know the girl there isn't much to go off of. I set my expectations really low for myself when it comes to online dating, but if she's a nice girl who 1, cooks 2, cleans and 3, isn't a cock gobbler maybe he just got three 7s in the slot machine of Tinder.

One seeks out the "red pill" after being beaten alive by the marketplace. In this case, if he's happy why bother? We can do more good keeping him in his place. A happily married man is a man that will work tirelessly. If and when he decides to seek us out we will be here.

In the mean time gently correct his world view if it gets too rom com sappy. Give him "game" advice he can use on his wife to keep their marriage spicy even after the honeymoon period.

If anything that is what you should be doing.

[runsonmagic]

Put on the glasses!

[Puddles]

some very interesting points said here, thanks to you all. I know that many people will think I'm trying to decide how he should live his life, but he is the type of person who got his ex gfs name in inch high letters across his chest, and cheated on her a week later. so he can be quite impulsive I guess and I would bet both my nads that they don't last.

[RURALGAMER]

A kid I know just turned 19. He's a good kid a leader at his small town school and he helped me out with some stuff dealing with younger kids.

I really wanted to hook him up with something awesome for his graduation. After thinking about it a few weeks I wrote a small note telling him to take life by the balls and directed him to this forum, return of kings and christian's blog site.


I hope he listened. But in this case you never know. It was just a letter in his card I didn't sign. Town is too small for people to know I gave that to him

[kinjutsu]

When people say half of all marriages fail, what do they mean?

Like 50% of them end in divorce? Or is it like a 15 year limit to be considered "successful and after that nobody cares?

[Lizard King]

He won't learn if he doesn't make mistakes.

[Mai Pei]

"You're an asshole" - friend who I tried to show the red pill to. Won't be doing that again.

[Earl Grey]

(07-11-2014 09:13 AM)frenchie Wrote:  

(07-11-2014 07:25 AM)Puddles Wrote:  

a life long friend of mine has recently got into a relationship with a girl. she's a nice girl, 7/10, cooks and can laugh at the odd rape joke or two. so fair to say that I don't have a problem with the girl personally. but what I do have a problem is how my friend has changed his life for her.

let me elaborate, he is very blue pill. but is a good lookin bloke who works out, is charismatic and earns a decent amount of money so he does well with women. before meeting her (on tinder I might add) he was in the process of enlisting in the military and has since put this, and the rest of his life on hold so that he can be with this girl. this isn't the first time he has done this either but I won't get into that.

other friends of mine who also frequent this forum have tried to introduce him to the red pill mindset but he more or less rejects the whole idea.

I know that i can't ever be that friend who is a yes man, and I need to show him the errors of his ways, but am stumped for ideas. I'm sure this has happened to, well most of you. how did you handle this?

What the hell is wrong with his decisions? Maybe he wants to settle down and have a family regardless of the consequences. Half of marriages fail, maybe he'll be one in the blessed half that don't fail.

What is your definition of red pill? There's far more to being red pill than slaying lizards, wearing custom up suits, and hitting the gym. It's about self improvement and honestly looking at all sides of a situation instead of coming to some knee jerk reaction.

If the girl wasn't a cock goblin and from what you say is genuinely nice, ask him if settling down is what he wants instead of being free. If he says yes, than pat him on the back, smile, and wish him well.

Word.

Also, it's my opinion that you can't proselytize someone into the red pill philosophy. The acceptance of it has to come organically. If he's truly happy with his reality, let him be.

[Ensam]

The best way I've found is with the Socratic method. No need to tell them anything, just ask questions about their situation and lead them down the path. Takes some getting used to but an effective technique if you believe you have truth on your side.

[WestIndianArchie]

Just spitballing here, I've never had the need to introduce someone to the red pill. No teachable moments left in me.

But The Red Pill is more than being just about women.

The metaphor is that the world we live in is the Matrix. While we buzz around our cubicles, watching Game of Thrones or MMA Pay-Per-Views, building out our mancaves, hitting the gym 4 x a week, making payments on the Dodge Challenger, getting the perfect Japanese sleeve of tattoos - we're stuck in a fake life. (seriously, is that what it means to be a man? Is this what it means to be alive?)

Indeed, poor people in the West, replace all of the above
- new sneakers
- new clothes
- fast food
- different tv shows

They live pretty much the same life, just at a different strata.

What the Red Pill says to us, is that all of this consumer culture, indeed, society as a whole is an illusion.

You take this pill, and you'll see it for what it is.

A bunch of ants running around the hill, serving some Queen.

The Ants?

That's all they know, that's all they'll ever do. Their life energy is in service of the colony, in service of a queen. It's not even that they don't get to do what they want, but what they want is a circumscribed universe. A few choices of jobs, when there's infinite possibility.

Those worker ants are going to die anyway, unable to reproduce themselves - why should they scurry about the lawn for someone else?

So rather than send him some links to the forum or some choice blogs, or buy Rollo Tomassi's book, or have some conversation about the "true" nature of women -

Why not focus on showing him the rest of the Matrix?

Why not have some real adventure with your boy?
Some non-scripted chaos, where he has to rely on the man within and discover something about himself?

Why not build a "yes" ladder in terms of everything else?

If you're right about all this other stuff in your life, and he will come around to your perspective on women.

After he sees what a big sham that this constructed life is, then you start in how to approach females, what they're thinking, and what he should be doing. Oh and here's a forum for people that are free....

WIA

[Cobra]

Honestly getting your friend to take the red pill is akin to taking his dick and putting it in a vagina.

Just like showing him red pill material, you can show him pussy. Slaying it needs to be left up to him.