[Onto]

There's a riddle that kind of addresses this.

There are two men. One is the Billionaire Bill Gates kind of guy. He has everything. Success, beautiful wife, children, mistresses, home, car, everything. The other is a poor janitor. Lives in a crappy, rat infested apartment, shitty job, no wife, kids, or girlfriend, etc.

Both men are suffering inside. Hard to imagine Bill Gates in crisis, but he is.

So the riddle is which of the two's suffering is greatest? Why?
And of those two, which one is better off? Why?

I'll post the answer in a while to give anyone who's interested time to think about it.

[WestIndianArchie]

The poor man, without a doubt.

Bill can easily opt out of his life, the poor man cannot, as evidenced by the billions of desperately poor.

WIA

[ThrustMaster]

I'll rest when I'm dead.

[Cobra]

(06-18-2014 06:05 AM)Zelcorpion Wrote:  

Frankly I understand where your are.

Some of my best friends are Naturals and some Players who are practically all in relationships or even married. Recently a buddy of mine got busted by his wife on one of his affairs. His wife did not leave him, but it got him thinking whether he should continue the marriage or just be the full blown Playboy.

I know some of his personal goals and I told him that he will be unhappy about it in the long term. I am of similar character - if I let go of my LTR (who is 100% Red-Pill mother-material btw and likes threesomes) then there is this darkness beckoning. Sure I will have plenty of fun fucking lots of women, but ultimately it will not make me happy. I will go into a mode that is more akin to a Player and even more Dark Triad in the future.

So I adviced my friend to keep on to his wife - if it ends in the future, so be it, but going full-blown and 100% happy into the eternal Player-lifestyle is not for everybody - probably not for most men. I think that men like their home, maybe kids and some young honey on the side. You know - the traditional way - how it used to be in the old times for those who could afford it.

The post resonates with me as I was personally going through this dilemma lately. Now, most of the players here may not be as far into a family life and career as I am. So, you gents take this post with a grain of salt. One day, you will face similar challenges and may come back here.

I have gone back and forth as to how I concentrate on 4 things: Family, Fitness, Work and Game. While I hate to get into breaking this down, let's just say I have a full family with 3 kids in tow, who I watch every other weekend and see every day. I also have a job which is either cold calling all day or meeting people to develop business. I leave home at 6 am and get home at 7 pm.

To get back to the eternal question posed by the thread, I asked myself many times, in regards to game, "When can I rest?" After all, I don't need to game and approach attractive women. So, if I "rest" from game, I get more time to focus on the other things. This is actually not a bad thing when it comes to those it benefits, which is my family and my employer. I guess I would be morally fine with focusing more time on my family. And I should be pretty fulfilled. Right?

I explored this further. Out of all the aspects I mentioned, only two are directly beneficial and even more so, empowering to me. Yes, that's fitness and game. Game helps me see the world in the red-pill fashion it should be seen in, while also helping with my social skills and women. So my own eternal question has been in regards to how much I should focus on these two aspects. To keep it simpler, how selfish should I be? I grew up in a culture that values selflessness above all. I mean, parents, wife, kids, job and external family first. And then, if there's time left, then focus on you. Problem is there was no time left to focus on yourself.

When I discovered RVF, I realized what game is but still went through a mental dilemma as to where it stands in my life and how much I have to sacrifice my selflessness for selfishness. I had periods where I relegated away from the forum or away from the game because it just felt "bad." However, all I did was get angry and frustrated and take it out against my loved ones. So I gave it more focused thought.

To solve the dilemma, I got with my RVF compadre, Octavian and set some goals (generally, 5 approaches per week). Also, end up meeting a fitness instructor a few times a week that works on my fitness and diet. I'm getting that in better control now. When I meet him, I do it after 7 pm. It's tough but I'm not letting myself go. I also will be pre-planning some trips out of town. So, at the end of the day, am I a little selfish, yes, as I should be, but most of my time is spent on the selfless act of providing for my family through work and spending time with them. I'll take that.

Don't get me wrong, I have had to take breaks because of the moral dilemmas and anxiety as well as focus on work, but still came back to the game every time.

TL;DR: I cannot rest away from game at 36 years of age, with a family, demanding job and fitness routine. So why should you?

[CactusCat589]

(01-24-2015 09:48 AM)Onto Wrote:  

There's a riddle that kind of addresses this.

There are two men. One is the Billionaire Bill Gates kind of guy. He has everything. Success, beautiful wife, children, mistresses, home, car, everything. The other is a poor janitor. Lives in a crappy, rat infested apartment, shitty job, no wife, kids, or girlfriend, etc.

Both men are suffering inside. Hard to imagine Bill Gates in crisis, but he is.

So the riddle is which of the two's suffering is greatest? Why?
And of those two, which one is better off? Why?

I'll post the answer in a while to give anyone who's interested time to think about it.

Interesting riddle.

Hm, let's try making a case for the janitor. Bill Gates has achieved everything imaginable in life, short of becoming dictator of the world. He has nothing to aspire to anymore. Every ambition or goal he can set for himself would be underachieving.

Let's say the janitor is young, in his twenties. On any given day he can switch to an entry-level job somewhere and start climbing the company ladder. He doesn't need to check out of life. He's so far down the totem pole of life he can take any action at all, and he'll be clawing his way up. Though it may not seem like it, he has a hundred options.

[Palo_alto]

I have been there.

The chase, the sex, the numbers, everything does not satisfy you at all.

Take a sex break. No FAP, no hitting on girls, focus on other aspects of your life. Help people, do some charity work, spend time with your relatives and friends. After 2/3 months I was back, stronger than ever.

Wish you luck!

[Palo_alto]

I have been there.

Take a sex break. No FAP, no hitting on girls, focus on other aspects of your life. Help people, do some charity work, spend time with your relatives and friends. After 2/3 months I was back, stronger than ever.

Wish you luck!

[Onto]

(01-24-2015 09:48 AM)Onto Wrote:  

There's a riddle that kind of addresses this.

There are two men. One is the Billionaire Bill Gates kind of guy. He has everything. Success, beautiful wife, children, mistresses, home, car, everything. The other is a poor janitor. Lives in a crappy, rat infested apartment, shitty job, no wife, kids, or girlfriend, etc.

Both men are suffering inside. Hard to imagine Bill Gates in crisis, but he is.

So the riddle is which of the two's suffering is greatest? Why?
And of those two, which one is better off? Why?

I'll post the answer in a while to give anyone who's interested time to think about it.

They are both suffering from the question, "Why am I unhappy?, Why do I feel unfulfilled?", "What is missing?" The Billionaire is suffering greatest though.

The Janitor, who represents everyone not a billionaire, is suffering too but has a place to point the finger to what the source is. "No woman", he says, so that internal/eternal question is swept aside as he now becomes consumed with finding a girl. He finds her, after a while the question comes back, this time the answer is a better job, better house, kids, a plasma TV, etc.

The Billionaire though has no where to point the finger too in the world. He has everything. Finally he then turns to Philanthropy, but that answer in time fades as well, so the question returns and the heat of it can become unbearable when an exit is nowhere to be found. Some, like George Eastman, actually kill themselves.

Though the Billionaire's suffering is greatest he's actually better off for it because he has an opportunity to point the finger to where the real answer is, not outward, but inward. The janitor will spend his life pointing to different, external answers, learning along the way hopefully, but he has a short amount of time.

So does this mean we should all give up our quest for pussy, money, and modern day comforts to become monks? No, it's actually important to go full steam ahead and pursue them to get rid of it as an answer. Usually it's the going through it that's needed for the seeing though of it. Then we can concentrate on new answers or higher-level ones of the same theme.

To quote the "The Matrix", "It's the question that drives us." Each person's life and their actions are an answer to that question. Pointing the finger inwards is to self-examine yourself to see what your answer has been.

[General Mayhem]

I think about this a lot. Here's what I've come to realize. My discontent is rooted in my expectations for my life.

I have the same grand visions that I had when I was younger. I guess the world never really broke me down enough to accept anything else. My only option is to chase after that. I think I will be forever chasing something.

I'm sure this belief will change as I grow older though.

[Sonoma]

I rested after the first herpes outbreak

[Dantes]

The last two years I have had bouts of burn out physical and mental. I have found that with my present work schedule juggling any more than two girls is to much. Peruodic breaks from approaching is helpful. I'm currently in one now where I haven't approached in one month.

[Giovonny]

A player can rest anytime he wants.

I take multiple breaks throughout the year.

I catch up on sleep, catch on business matters, workout, clean my apartment, cook a bunch of healthy food, and I don't talk to or game any girls.

I just focus on rest, my family, my career, etc.

No one is forcing you to Game. If you want to do it, do it. If you do not want to do it, don't.

[Brodiaga]

I'm resting right now. Last year, my number of notches skyrocketed mainly thanks all the info and advice from RVF. Right now, I just have a regular girl and can't be bothered looking for more, especially when the weather is shit. If I go for more notches this year, it'll be more about quality than quantity. I've got nothing to prove to myself or anybody else.

[Kwisatz]

#NoDaysOff

[Simeon_Strangelight]

(01-24-2015 07:24 PM)Cobra Wrote:  

TL;DR: I cannot rest away from game at 36 years of age, with a family, demanding job and fitness routine. So why should you?

As a busy married family man it is certainly mostly limited to certain times off. One friend I have had a funny experience.

While being on holidays with the wife, kids and the whole shebang he separated for 3 hours and said that he wants to go for a walk alone. Immediately he went out and approached like crazy - actually managed to find a girl, did some speed-seduction with rapid kino and banged her behind a dumpster in an alley. Afterwards he returned to wife and kids with a big smile.

That is effective time management of a married Player Though generally he relies on travels where he runs Game non-stop.

Most often older accomplished guys rely on mistresses due to certain time-constraints, but that is of course a bit lacking in raw sexual attraction and can be costly. So becoming a fast effective seducer is actually the best choice for a man in his 30s - that is unless you can convince your wife to have 3somes.

[bojangles]

(01-26-2015 04:35 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  

A player can rest anytime he wants.

I take multiple breaks throughout the year.

I catch up on sleep, catch on business matters, workout, clean my apartment, cook a bunch of healthy food, and I don't talk to or game any girls.

I just focus on rest, my family, my career, etc.

No one is forcing you to Game. If you want to do it, do it. If you do not want to do it, don't.

Word, I have spurts and I have rest periods where I concentrate my life on matters outside of game. I'm in one of those rest periods now, it's snowing outside and has been for a month, fuck gaming in this shit. I'll workout, build my revenue streams, eat well, hang out with my brothers and read books.

[Redwood]

you cannot truly rest. even if you think you're out the game, you will always be pulled back in.

consequently, if you reach hugh hefner's level, that's when you can truly enjoy the fruits of your own labor.

[Achilles]

A Player can never rest because then, by definition, he isn't playing anymore.

Sounds like a decision or re-evaluation is in order

[Laner]

(01-27-2015 03:46 AM)Zelcorpion Wrote:  

(01-24-2015 07:24 PM)Cobra Wrote:  

TL;DR: I cannot rest away from game at 36 years of age, with a family, demanding job and fitness routine. So why should you?

As a busy married family man it is certainly mostly limited to certain times off. One friend I have had a funny experience.

While being on holidays with the wife, kids and the whole shebang he separated for 3 hours and said that he wants to go for a walk alone. Immediately he went out and approached like crazy - actually managed to find a girl, did some speed-seduction with rapid kino and banged her behind a dumpster in an alley. Afterwards he returned to wife and kids with a big smile.

That is effective time management of a married Player Though generally he relies on travels where he runs Game non-stop.

Most often older accomplished guys rely on mistresses due to certain time-constraints, but that is of course a bit lacking in raw sexual attraction and can be costly. So becoming a fast effective seducer is actually the best choice for a man in his 30s - that is unless you can convince your wife to have 3somes.

My son has been in the world for three weeks and in that time players with families have been coming out of the woodwork. I have had enough conversations with these guys to know that no matter what happens they will not lose their frame. In fact, they cant. To do so now would end up with all their indiscretions of the past coming to the surface.

One guy has 5 "business" trips a year. His wife knows that he does not do business where he needs to travel. So what. He remains king, the family remains strong, their community remains drama free.

I gave up my side piece a couple weeks before my sons birth, which in hindsight might have been a mistake. Instead I am back running game like I always have, only now I am under much more scrutiny. People who never blinked at my lifestyle are now holding me to a much higher level due to being a father.

If I would have stayed with the two girls I was with on the side, they were already quiet about the relationship and I could continue on in secret. I know now I will have to develop some serious "stealth game".

[DVY]

@Laner- Such is life. Live, learn and conquer.

Might I suggest going to areas that your friends, family, girl will not go.

I roll out solo to different neighborhoods and try to swoop on chicas.

[Laner]

(05-15-2015 01:18 AM)DVY Wrote:  

@Laner- Such is life. Live, learn and conquer.

Might I suggest going to areas that your friends, family, girl will not go.

I roll out solo to different neighborhoods and try to swoop on chicas.

Well I'm an idiot and I love my hood and I go out for more than just the ladies. I like the music, the people and the atmosphere. Of course the fly ladies of the city also like my hood so things just come together. No big deal, in fact the way some of these girls look at me now that I have taken my son to my local bar is crazy. My kid and I hung out there for a few hours on the weekend and the girls were all over us the whole time.

This is just one more reason for the young players to remember that its all about frame. Own your life, and give no excuses to anybody.

[Ingocnito]

I've never met a man who goes full tilt at anything for a very long time who doesn't reach a breaking point. Often that breaking point manifests itself physically.

The CEO who gets a check up and finds major heart blockage, since all he did was work and not exercise or worry about healthy eating, etc.

The player who gets a girl pregnant he least wants of all the girls he's banged, or maybe an STD.

The musician who finds some success but gets wrapped up in drug culture and derails his life.

The weightlifter / body builder who starts getting injured going for that last 2% of muscle mass and last 3% of body fat loss.

The key I think is avoiding extreme imbalance in anything for too long. I like the extremist mindset of achieving goals. That's how most people who came from nothing and made it, but no one is 10' tall and bullet proof.

[Cattle Rustler]

Congrats on your son Laner!

Good to know he's healthy and doing well.