[bacani]

There's this girl I've been dating for a little over a month now. I'd say she's around a 8. She's really into me and I believe I've successfully gamed her enough where it appears she's the one "chasing me". She usually initiates the calls/texts everyday and asks me to hang out with her more often than I do. She does act up a lot, in which I punish her with indifference or threats of me just walking out the door (doing this works everytime and makes her like me a lot more). Last week, she gave me the worst attitude ever and I refused to answer any of her calls/texts all day, until around 4am when I decided to pick up the phone after about 20+ missed calls. She was crying and really apologetic about what she did so I finally just let it slide. Point is, based on her actions I know she has deep into me.

This past weekend she ended up taking a trip with her family out of town. On saturday night she kept on texting me asking where I was and who I was with (she always suspects I'm talking/hanging out with a lot of other girls and hates when I'm on my phone around her). I gave her some vague responses and told her I'd text her the next day. Fast forward 2 days and she didn't respond to any of my texts or calls since that saturday night.

I eventually left her a fb message saying that I dont appreciate being ignored and her sudden disappearance makes me assume that she's with another guy, so I told her I was done. She texts me immediately saying:

"I've been thinking for days.. I'm scared. I don't think I can do this. I like you so much that it scares me. Super scared. Good luck with everything. Take care."

I respond with: "if that's what u want, ok. tc"

Her: "Let's be friends though? And I know I'm not the only one. You're entertaining other girls. So this is better. I'm scared to get hurt. Cant handle things like that. Let's be friends?"

Me: "ah so its a trust issue. after all this time I don't know why u dont trust me, but then again I can't force u"

Her: "I cant force myself too. I dont want to be paranoid everytime were not together. Friends?????"

Me: "why are u always paranoid"

...she doesn't text me back after that. She says she's into me but she's also letting me go in a way. And I hate this friendzone bullshit she's trying to put on me.



I got a little paranoid myself the past couple days because I thought that maybe I had tindered with one of her friends, or maybe one of her friends saw me with another girl at the mall when I went to watch a movie. If ever she was to bring up anything like that I would have downplayed it or denied anyway, but I don't think that's the case since she hasn't brought it up..
I've tried keeping my mind off her by going out with a girl off tinder yesterday (got the bang), and even talked to a couple of other girls on the phone earlier tonight but she just wont get off my mind. I'm not going to lie, I do have feelings for this girl and was kind of hoping for her to stick around a little longer. I thought I kept a pretty good job of caring less than she did but once started disappeared on me I feel like the tables turned.

I feel like I've been too alpha the whole time and maybe I should go a little beta on her? Is she shit testing me? Should I not have sent that fb message? Should I just ignore her from now on? I usually would know what to do in these situations, but I'm honestly so blinded by emotion I can't even think straight right now. I'd appreciate if you guys can offer some insight or any advice. I'm already getting in the mind set that I lost her and ready to move on, but what kills me is that I don't where I fucked up and hell no am I going to ask her that lol

[Travesty]

I don't think you fucked up.

Does she keep always acting up even after you put her in her place the first few times?

That's a bad sign, it will never be enough for her. A girl testing you in the begining and getting sweeter over time is cool, but it sounds like this girl won't change.

I am not sure how hard you are dread gaming her by having her paranoid you are always out going to get laid and whatnot.

Either she is drama, or you dread her a little too hard.

20 missed calls from a girl is acceptable if you told her you love her and she thinks you are in a relationship and you are almost barely hiding your cheating. Otherwise that is just insane.

I am going with the easier answer she is just drama.

[bacani]

(06-09-2014 03:44 PM)Travesty444 Wrote:  

I don't think you fucked up.

Does she keep always acting up even after you put her in her place the first few times?

That's a bad sign, it will never be enough for her. A girl testing you in the begining and getting sweeter over time is cool, but it sounds like this girl won't change.

I am not sure how hard you are dread gaming her by having her paranoid you are always out going to get laid and whatnot.

Either she is drama, or you dread her a little too hard.

20 missed calls from a girl is acceptable if you told her you love her and she thinks you are in a relationship and you are almost barely hiding your cheating. Otherwise that is just insane.

I am going with the easier answer she is just drama.

Ya after putting her in her place she would act up again after a few days. I remember speaking with her about it one time, that she's used to boys and her ex's giving her everything she wants. Then I come along and do the opposite.

Can too much dread gaming make her leave? I always thought that indirectly hinting that I "might" have women on the side might cause her to feel like there might be competition, which in turn would make her want me more. Or maybe I'm doing it wrong?

Anyway she called me earlier but I didn't pick up. Then she texted me this:

"Friends?? You can say no if you don't want. So i'll stop.."

(3 mins later)

"Can we be friends? Good friends? pls?"

(20 mins later)

"Hey.."


I haven't responded to anything yet because even if I lose her, I still want to come out of this winning with flying colors. Should I just ignore her until she stops trying to friendzone my ass? Is she only trying to friendzone me because she's still scared of getting hurt?

Thanks for the response Travesty. I never thought about that dread game

[No Habit]

It's all drama bacani and it seems you have gotten sucked into it a little bit.
I say you have done a good job so far.

Man you can even increase the whole tension further by sending her a text like "Alright. I think I have to tell you the truth... When can you meet me?"

She will expect you to tell her that you have another girl and you don't care about her anymore, but instead you tell her how badly you missed her body and you adore her and you have to fuck her now.

She won't forget that night.

Then you disappear...