[jariel]

(04-15-2014 06:05 PM)speakeasy Wrote:  

What appeals to me about a relationship is being able to kick back, have sex on the regular and not feel like you have to be on the prowl constantly if you want to get laid.

Steady sex is not a by-product of being in a steady relationship.

You're more likely to get steady aggravation, shit steady blue balls, than you are to get steady sex from one woman in a monogamous relationship.

If a man wants steady sex, he has to be sleeping with multiple women, and practicing dick rationing on all of them, so the only one who's really getting steady sex is him.

[Vacancier Permanent]

Haven't read the whole thread, so apologies if it has already been mentioned:

Card Guy,
Looks you are in the wrong place my friend among low quality girls who are bad relationship material. Go post up for a few weeks, which may well extend to a few months if not more! in the Philippines for example. The girls there are absolute sweethearts that would make your heart melt. Meet a quality girl, who's beautiful, fun, sexy, feminine yet educated and smart and your odds of experiencing ( and of loving every moment if it) a quality GF would be as high as a Luis Suarez hat trick against Southampton! just be careful not to knock her up tough!

[peterfoo22]

Card Guy,

I am 31 and never really had a girlfriend either. The longest relationship I've ever had was 3 months.

Unfortunately I live in the US and feel like it relationships here have to be all or nothing in the United States. You meet a girl you like, you move in and this quick progression of becoming in full bloated relationship "has to occur".

I've never really understood this. I think that's why so many of us guys have been going abroad Eastern Europe, Asia, and other parts of the world where things happen more slowly.

I would prefer things start out as platonic and go from there slowly but surely.

I will give you classic example I was in Canada a few years back and I met about 5 girls in about less than 5 days. They all wanted to keep things platonic and build friendships and go from there.

While back in the US I met a girl (she had a kid) wanted me to leave my life completely, move in and start "dating" right away.

All in all, I think the reasons why I haven't been a relationship probably has to do with me not wanting to move to fast and invest too quickly, and secondly the difficulty of finding a girl that I could even consider being in relationship with (me being in the US)

My two cents, hope it helps!

[bonkers]

Cardguy, you said in another thread ("Anyone got a belly that won't go away?" thread) that you were in the "hookers, titty bars and porn stage of my life now."

Yet you are only 32? Surely that's too young to give up and just go for P4P isn't it? Heck, I think most on here would agree that 32 would be heading towards your peak years.

What gives?

[lowside]

(04-15-2014 01:55 PM)cardguy Wrote:  

It is not just women. In fact I find most people annoying. And definitely prefer my own space to having to entertain somebody all day long.

Still - it may be a sign that I am even more unusual than I already thought I was. lol

You're not weird! I'm the same. Always have been a loner. However, I have never been without a g/f. Been living together for a year and a half now. How do I do it?

I do my own thing, occasionally we'll do stuff together. I tell her I need a lot of alone time. She complains all the time that she wants to do more together, but I keep my frame.

She's still around, even wants kids with me. Cleans, cooks, has a job, doesn't go out with 'the girls' much. You sure you don't want to rethink your strategy?

[Days of Broken Arrows]

There's a saying "A little learning is a dangerous thing." It's a joke, but there's truth behind it.

Over the past half decade I've found I've learned a lot about women -- and people in general -- from the manosphere and writing of people like F. Roger Devlin. But it's also made it harder for me to connect with women or even desire women, which is something that was never the case.

I wonder if what's happened to me is happening to you?

First, knowing all this stuff has made me a lot less fun. I now sort of see male-female relations as a battle to be won or lost. Several women have remarked about my lost sense of humor. Some of it has to do with my divorce but more of it has to do with losing the idea of "magic" in female interactions (i.e. romance) because of being able to break things down scientifically.

Second, I now find I dismiss women in my mind or in reality because they instantly "slot" into a bad space. It's no longer "Hm -- wonder what *she's* like?" It's now more like "Oh, carousel rider. Bye." Or "Oh no -- a college girl raised as a boy." Or "She had the bad boys -- I won't be her Beta provider chump. Bye!" Or something equally paranoid. I wonder had I known at 19 what I know now if I'd have had any relationships at all.

This might also be the reason I find myself tapping back into the pool of poon I knew pre-marriage. Since I know these women as people, it's harder for me to slot them -- or at least dismiss them when they fall into some category since we have shared history.

I have no idea what the solution to this is. You can't get naive again. Maybe a change of environment?

[soup]

Probably.

[Bill]

(04-16-2014 02:00 AM)Vacancier Permanent Wrote:  

Haven't read the whole thread, so apologies if it has already been mentioned:

Card Guy,
Looks you are in the wrong place my friend among low quality girls who are bad relationship material. Go post up for a few weeks, which may well extend to a few months if not more! in the Philippines for example. The girls there are absolute sweethearts that would make your heart melt. Meet a quality girl, who's beautiful, fun, sexy, feminine yet educated and smart and your odds of experiencing ( and of loving every moment if it) a quality GF would be as high as a Luis Suarez hat trick against Southampton! just be careful not to knock her up tough!

Yes I did mention it . I think it´s to much hassle for him and maybe he won´t go for girls under 8 so it might not be that worthy for him.

He reminds me of some guys in London who look good and earn a lot of money but won´t date girls because of ROI.

[Prophylaxis]

hey cardguy,

How are you around introverted women?

Sounds like day-game would definitely be your cup of tea.

[Beyond Borders]

(04-15-2014 01:55 PM)cardguy Wrote:  

I'm 32 and have never had a girlfriend.

Is that weird?

Yes, you're weird.

But who cares.

We're all weird here.

On a serious note, I'll echo the statements a lot of others have said about the possibility of a girlfriend being a pleasurable experience. Even some of the worst relationships I've had provided plenty of great experiences. I certainly don't need a girlfriend to define my life, but when I think back on my life, the phases often stand out regarding who I was dating at the time.

Many of my best experiences were the ones I shared with women I actually cared about, and no matter what, we always had a lot of fun.

Relationships have their own share of headaches, sure. But it's not all bad, especially when you maintain the control in the relationships, and I assure you that's extremely easy for an introvert to do. We actually want our space, so we don't have to fake being aloof - comes naturally.

My relationships have taught me a lot, and I've been in quite a few serious ones. I think all the best sex I've ever had came in relationships, and that's where I learned the most about sex. I've always been my healthiest during my relationships, from not partying as much and the fact that women tend to push you to take care of yourself. I get in less scraps. I get more shit done and am more successful.

Being with the wrong girl can drag you down and really make your life a living hell. But not many things are more stabilizing than a good woman at your side, in my opinion.

There is the problem of it eventually getting boring and running its course. Either learn to adapt and teach yourself to appreciate things for longer (a good skill to have as you age, I'd imagine), or just enjoy it while it lasts and let go when it's time to let go.

If you don't drag it out past its expiration date to the point where it's becoming dysfunctional, you should be able to walk away with some great experiences and knowledge about yourself.

Saying all that, you're lucky in that you don't have to battle the "grass is greener" mentality a lot of us serial monagamists deal with. So hey, if you really are happy, rock on.

I think your particular brand of weirdness is becoming more common among men these days.

I also notice a lot of older bachelors kind of reach that point where they say, fuck it, I've made it this far... So I could see how if you'd gotten to your thirties with nary a girlfriend, you'd just keep rolling with it.

(04-15-2014 02:06 PM)LeightonBlackstock Wrote:  

One of the curses about being 'red-pill' is I feel as though no one is good enough for that position anymore. Every time I walk around with a nice girl I want to ditch her for one of the other ones.

I look back at two of the girls I burnt it off with in Korea and think "Holy fuck, am I gay or something?!". Same thing happened with Taipei, I really should have made one of them my girlfriend looking back.

A poisoned chalice, you could say?

Though to elaborate and contradict myself, previously I was very much: "I must get notches. I must be alpha. I must validate myself". Nowadays I'm more open to the idea of ending my two year 'lack of girlfriend' spell. Recently I've felt like I've got over a big 'hump' and I can run on 'auto-pilot' here and there.

I'm at this stage myself.

You go back and forth. When you're single, you're always thinking, damn, would be nice to have a quality girl on lock-down for a while and chill out. Then when you're in a relationship, you're constantly thinking, damn, I want to hit that - would be nice to play the field for a while again.

And around and around we go...

I will say that I think a steady relationships can be a very centering thing in Southeast Asia.

I notice a lot of guys who move here can't seem to handle all the pussy opportunity without getting greedy and grabbing it all at once. You watch the Asian guys and their roll is much slower. They have a wife or a steady girl and the ocaissional fling. Maybe a mia noi or a gik or two that they also do more long-term relationships with. And because they take it easy, they've constantly got some new girl that has a huge crush on them.

The white guys are so blown away by how different things are in the sexual marketplace that they're running around like a kitten that just snorted a couple rails of catnip, banging anything with two legs and a vag and ruining their reputation at every step.

I think if you were going to do Asia for the long-long-term, it would be wise to do as the Romans do.

This is one place where you can have your cake and eat it too. As long as you can slow your roll a little bit.

(04-15-2014 02:19 PM)cardguy Wrote:  

If a millionaire supermodel wanted to marry me - I would say no.

With all respect, I like a lot of what you've said in this thread, cardguy, but I'll believe this when you're actually turning down proposals from millionaire supermodels.

(04-15-2014 05:03 PM)Slim Shady Wrote:  

Every once in a while, maybe every 6 months or so, I'll look back on my life and see that it has been crazy and out of control - with the binge drinking, blackouts, and sloppy hookups, and I'll think I could and should settle down for a bit with a cute 7 who may be a bit homey but will keep me [mainly the drinking and sex drive] in check.

However, every time I have actively though I should wife up a girl for a bit, I don't even get lays and sloppy sex. I realize that I have subconsciously started treating girls nicer, and maybe that also gives off a needier vibe. So I go back to my hedonistic and debaucherous ways, till a run in with the cops forces me to stay in and stay sober for a while, with only monster cock porn to alleviate my pain, regret, and self loathing.

Then the cycle starts all over again.

Man do I know this cycle. It gets worse as you get older if you don't learn to reign it in. As I keep repeating, one of the best aspects of a good woman is her ability to keep you somewhat grounded. Even when you're fully in charge, there's just something about that feminine energy that keeps you on track.

Not constantly feeling the need to chase new pussy is a big part of it too.

I don't think I'd have done even half the dumb drunken shit I have in my life if it wasn't for the chase getting me out on the town in the first place.

(04-15-2014 06:05 PM)speakeasy Wrote:  

What appeals to me about a relationship is being able to kick back, have sex on the regular and not feel like you have to be on the prowl constantly if you want to get laid. You don't gave to worry about carrying your A-game 24/7. If you didn't talk to that hottie that walked by you don't have to kick yourself, you got a girl to chill with later. Going out all the time and having to mack, filter through flaky numbers, set up dates. etc can wear you out over time. Especially as you get older. And even more so for introverts like us.

Exactly. And that lack of hunger is one of the big things that makes taken men so attractive to women.

(04-15-2014 06:12 PM)Cunnilinguist Wrote:  

(04-15-2014 06:05 PM)speakeasy Wrote:  

What appeals to me about a relationship is being able to kick back, have sex on the regular and not feel like you have to be on the prowl constantly if you want to get laid. Going out all the time and having to mack, filter through flaky numbers, set up dates. etc can wear you out over time. Especially as you get older. And even more so for introverts like us.

That regular sex gets old real quick, though. I get bored with a chick after roughly 2-3 weeks. From then on, it's almost as if I have to force myself to be with her. I dont care what they say about "spicing up your sex life", once youve banged the same girl, oh i dont know, 5-6 times, it just isnt going to get any more exciting after that. Fucking a new girl for the first time is AMAZING. After that, it's downhill.

2 - 3 weeks?! 5-6 times?

Damn, Man, I mean no disrespect, but I feel like you're going about something all wrong. Have you had much longer relationships with women than that? Because I find it gets WAY better before it gets worse.

Yeah, it does get old after a while and you fiend for some strange, but sex with someone you have experience is with a whole other level from those first few times. And don't even get me started on that hard-core makeup sex or banging it out after a bit of time apart...

Nothing like it.

(04-16-2014 01:51 AM)jariel Wrote:  

(04-15-2014 06:05 PM)speakeasy Wrote:  

What appeals to me about a relationship is being able to kick back, have sex on the regular and not feel like you have to be on the prowl constantly if you want to get laid.

Steady sex is not a by-product of being in a steady relationship.

You're more likely to get steady aggravation, shit steady blue balls, than you are to get steady sex from one woman in a monogamous relationship.

This hasn't been my experience at all. I hear guys joking around about this type of thing that are married, but I've never noticed a girlfriend get burnt out on sex and start holding out. I've never been married, but I've had a few 2 -3 year relationships and plenty other shorter ones. I spent most of twenties in long-term relationships.

I find the female's hunger for sex only gets more insatiable as I get more bored after about 6 months, start wanting them less, and start thinking about being single again. It could be just the introversion though - the longer we stay together, the more I pull away, and the more crazy they are about me. Maybe if I ever roll the dice with marriage I'll learn the truth.

(04-16-2014 03:01 AM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  

Some of it has to do with my divorce but more of it has to do with losing the idea of "magic" in female interactions (i.e. romance) because of being able to break things down scientifically.

(04-16-2014 03:01 AM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  

I have no idea what the solution to this is. You can't get naive again. Maybe a change of environment?

These two statements rang so true for me.

You miss that feeling sometimes. I will say that I have gotten it back before after being disillusioned for a long time. It takes a certain type of girl to bring that out of me, and longer periods of time seem to pass before I run into it again, but it still comes out sometimes.

One thing I've noticed about myself is I've gotten extremely selfish with my interactions with women. Maybe because that's what works or maybe because I know it'll be someone new a couple nights or weeks later, that it's all temporary.

But the feeling of actually caring for a woman is something you miss after not having it for a long time. You can get it back, but it really takes setting something down. Our own form of baggage, I guess?

[Moma]

(04-16-2014 01:51 AM)jariel Wrote:  

(04-15-2014 06:05 PM)speakeasy Wrote:  

What appeals to me about a relationship is being able to kick back, have sex on the regular and not feel like you have to be on the prowl constantly if you want to get laid.

Steady sex is not a by-product of being in a steady relationship.

You're more likely to get steady aggravation, shit steady blue balls, than you are to get steady sex from one woman in a monogamous relationship.

If a man wants steady sex, he has to be sleeping with multiple women, and practicing dick rationing on all of them, so the only one who's really getting steady sex is him.

It really depends what type of lizard you get. What type you can attract, what type you can screen for.
I've been a few LTRs, akin to working a main permanent job and maybe landscaping for a few hours every other weekend or so to keep things spicy.

Maybe she was a nympho but I was never rationed sex. Even one time when we had a disagreement about the relationship etc, I expected her to shut off the punni for that evening and maybe a few days but she pulled me into her sobbing and wailing as I stroked her.
I found that rather eerie but I appreciated her.
Overall, most of my LTR's have been productive but I have always kept my options open so maybe that helped.

But yes, during our relationship, sex was guaranteed. I never had to second guess it at all.

[Quintus Curtius]

"I'm 32 and never had a girlfriend. Is that weird?"

Yes.

[The Lizard of Oz]

Very interesting and highly revealing thread.

Most men -- the great majority -- are meant to be with women and eventually wind up with one (or are lonely and miserable if they don't). A very few men are meant to be alone.

These two types might as well be different species -- there is almost no way for them to understand each other when it comes to these things.

What this thread shows is just how rare of a breed the confirmed bachelor really is. Scratch even many a self-proclaimed "introvert", and you'll find a guy whose best memory in life is of spending time with a female.

So yes, cardguy, you belong to a tiny minority. But I wouldn't worry about it (not that you do).

The one thing I'd say is that if you ever see a hot girl that you feel like fucking to your sack's content a couple of times a week and then throwing out of your place, you can, under the right circumstances, make this desire explicitly clear to her. It usually won't work, but strange things can happen with a female when you have nothing to lose and are genuinely indifferent to the outcome. It fascinates them no end and they sometimes find a way to rationalize almost any level of submission.

It is one of the perks of the confirmed bachelor that he can occasionally luck into a truly convenient sexual arrangement, if only temporarily -- essentially like having a regular whore but with better fucking and fewer concerns than using actual whores. Keep an eye out for it now and then.

[Icarus]

(04-16-2014 12:26 PM)The Lizard of Oz Wrote:  

Scratch even many a self-proclaimed "introvert", and you'll find a guy whose best memory in life is of spending time with a female.

I am an introvert and I have no trouble admitting that the best memories I have involve a very pretty, young girl looking at me lovingly and laughing at every line I say. Is there anything better in life? It's the best high there is.

Introversion does not make me an asocial hermit. It just means that I need a few hours alone every day. I also need a few hours interacting with other people every day.

[The Lizard of Oz]

Icarus -- indeed, for the majority of men, even those who are somewhat more introverted, what you described is just about the greatest high there is. But for a small minority of men, it's virtually meaningless. Can you see what a profound difference that amounts to?

[cardguy]

@The Lizard of Oz - yeah being genuinely outcome independent is a powerful way of thinking.

I would make more use of it - but it is Catch 22 - since the only way I would make use of it more would be if I actually wanted to spend time trying to impress women and gaming them into a relationship. Which is not something that interests me.

On top of what is in this thread - and my thread on introversion. The thread where I spoke about why I think romantic love is bullshit helps give a picture of where I am coming from.

http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-31543-...15629.html

It is a large forum - so I thought it would be useful to group some of these threads together.

[cardguy]

To some people - success is meaningless. As it is to me. And the same is true for being in relationships as well.

Here is Bryan Magee (a writer and broadcaster on philosophy) talking about how disillusioned he felt when he was at his most successful in life:

Quote:

In between these depth excursions, Magee often took part in trail-blazing intellectual chat shows on TV, pursued a career as a critic of opera, records, the theatre. He wrote books on the way forward for Labour, on homosexuality, Wagner and Karl Popper; and had periodic sojourns in universities.

But something was lacking, despite seeming "to have everything I could reasonably want - good health, energy, an adventurous life, rewarding friendships, exhilarating love affairs, success in my work, exciting travel, the sustained nourishment of music, theatre, reading". Simply: "The realisation hit me like a demolition crane that I was inevitably going to die".

A couple of chapters later things are still just as bad: "I had published eight books, stood for parliament twice, and for some years had been appearing on a regular peak-hour television programme. In a way I was a sort of minor celebrity; I was recognised by strangers in the street, addressed by name in shops and restaurants, asked for my autograph. But none of this had any value for me."

The search for meaning went on. Magee had the privilege of knowing Popper and Russell well, but though he regards them as probably the two greatest geniuses of philosophy in our century, they had nothing to say on the issues which plagued his life, to that point where he often felt he was going mad. Even after writing his philosophical novel Facing Death he is still dissatisfied. Three chapters later still, "I had published several books that had received good reviews, and I was earning my living enjoyably as a broadcaster on radio and television."

It was only when, finally, after reading all the other great philosophers, he turned to Schopenhauer - notoriously neglected by academic philosophers - that he at last found someone who had felt the problems he felt, and went at least some way to assuaging the anguish they cause. "He speaks to me as no other philosopher does, direct and in his own human voice, a fellow-spirit, a penetratingly perceptive friend, with a hand on my elbow and a twinkle in his eye."

[Travesty]

^ I'm not even 30, but there is a sad despair in people I see that are always searching for meaning their whole life. There is a huge narcissism at work to think you are too good to enjoy life or success and you have to have an endless search.

I am never envious of men because of their accomplishments alone. I am very envious towards men that take great joy in the here and now and enjoy their accomplishments to the fullest. I want to be like them.

A success robot always searching for meaning is going so far on the spectrum it almost comes full circle to a basement dweller that does nothing.

Both are wasting the very very short gift of life in my view.

[The Lizard of Oz]

cardguy -- not talking about gaming women or trying to set up a relationship.

In the right context, you can literally flat out say to a girl that you want to fuck her 2 or 3 times a week and never see her or hear from her otherwise, and she has to leave your place when you're done fucking her. Take it or leave it.

Of course most girls that you'd want to fuck wouldn't do it. But strangely enough, some would. It's not a high odds proposition but being indifferent to the outcome sometimes makes strange things possible.

Obviously there has to be a socially permissible context for this -- I'm not suggesting you walk up to random bitches on the street and suggest this, or you might quickly end up in jail or ostracized, lol.

A good way to do it can be to get a female you know casually on the phone, and sexualize the conversation -- get her to talk about her sexual fetishes and speak completely openly and with relish about yours.

Women are fascinated and excited by men who can talk openly about their sexual fetishes without any shame or inhibition, and who don't give a shit about what happens with a given female.

You get a girl on the phone like that, and after a few times she might become addicted to your sexual perversity and shamelessness. Then you can just tell her that if she wants to have an unusual experience, she can come in a couple of times a week and you'll fuck her and do some of the things you talked about. Then she leaves. Maybe you give her some money so she feels like a cheap whore (some women like that). You make it clear that if she ever gives you any hassle, you never talk to her again.

Again -- not especially likely to succeed with any given female, but these things can happen and you have absolutely nothing to lose. And if it works, you can get some good fucking going for a while with virtually no downside. Just make sure the girl is not a psychotic who decides one day that she need to "cut" you, or report you for a false rape accusation.

[YossariansRight]

(04-15-2014 02:02 PM)cardguy Wrote:  

No.

It's not weird; you've answered your own question.

WTF IS a girlfriend these days anyway? The pseudo-wife in a mini relationship? Yay...

Free agency is golden.

[Icarus]

(04-16-2014 01:14 PM)Travesty444 Wrote:  

There is a sad despair in people I see that are always searching for meaning their whole life. There is a huge narcissism at work to think you are too good to enjoy life or success and you have to have an endless search.

Spiritual hunger can be worse than physical hunger. Physical hunger can be sated by eating food. Spiritual hunger can remain unsated during a man's entire life. That explains why a few great men have (re-)converted to Christianity before their deaths.

What would be the alternative? Feralization?

"He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man." -- Samuel Johnson

[The Lizard of Oz]

(04-16-2014 01:36 PM)Icarus Wrote:  

Spiritual hunger can be worse than physical hunger. Physical hunger can be sated by eating food. Spiritual hunger can remain unsated during a man's entire life. That explains why a few great men have (re-)converted to Christianity before their deaths.

There is nothing more meaningless than a deathbed conversion.

What matters is what a man says and does when he is smart, healthy, and strong -- not when he is old, weak and dying.

The weak and dying have no access to an ultimate truth that is denied to the strong and healthy -- quite the contrary.

The idea that only nearness to death and suffering brings out "The Truth" is akin to the idea that confessions made under torture are the only kind of honest or truthful speech. Both are evil and stupid ideas (not saying that you hold them, of course).

(04-16-2014 01:36 PM)Icarus Wrote:  

What would be the alternative? Feralization?

"He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man." -- Samuel Johnson

No -- the alternative is a life of thought, feeling and immersion in the objective world.

Quote:

To my question, as to whether we might fortify our minds for the approach of death, he answered in a passion, "No, Sir, let it alone. It matters not how a man dies, but how he lives. The act of dying is not of importance, it lasts so short a time." He added, with an earnest look, "A man knows it must be so, and submits. It will do him no good to whine."

-- Boswell, "Life of Johnson"

[Icarus]

(04-16-2014 02:05 PM)The Lizard of Oz Wrote:  

There is nothing more meaningless than a deathbed conversion. What matters is what a man says and does when he is smart, healthy, and strong -- not when he is old, weak and dying. The weak and dying have no access to an ultimate truth that is denied to the strong and healthy -- quite the contrary.

I was not talking about an "ultimate truth". The fact is that many men, slightly before their deaths, regret the life they chose, doubt the things they believed all their lives. I don't think it's "The Truth" they're after, but rather to be at peace with themselves before they "go quietly into the good night".

A life devoted to intellectual pursuits alone may lead to such deathbed conversions. There is more to life than "rationality". I do enjoy reading books and acquiring knowledge, but the best memories I have of my life are of "irrational" and "trivial" things, like BBQ's with friends and the gaze of pretty girls who were once in love with me.

Rejecting "rationalism" may be the most rational way to live.

[The Lizard of Oz]

If a man has lived his life in too limited or limiting of a way, then this is an unfortunate thing about his life. However, being near one's death does not put a man in a privileged position to discover this.

Just because a man "doubts the things he believed" on his deathbed, does not mean that these doubts are of any importance or have any validity. Far more likely, they are the expression of a weak body and decaying mind.

A man of real substance will have a far greater understanding of his life and its virtues and shortcomings when he is at the height of his mental and physical powers, not when he is old and decrepit. The musings of the old and dying are worth only little more than the babble of children -- there is no reason to fetishize either.

[TigerMandingo]

(04-16-2014 02:32 PM)The Lizard of Oz Wrote:  

If a man has lived his life in too limited or limiting of a way, then this is an unfortunate thing about his life. However, being near one's death does not put a man in a privileged position to discover this.

Just because a man "doubts the things he believed" on his deathbed, does not mean that these doubts are of any importance or have any validity. Far more likely, they are the expression of a weak body and decaying mind.

A man of real substance will have a far greater understanding of his life and its virtues and shortcomings when he is at the height of his mental and physical powers, not when he is old and decrepit. The musings of the old and dying are worth only little more than the babble of children -- there is no reason to fetishize either.

What exactly is a man of "real substance"? A man who chooses a life of intellectual pursuits will almost certainly doubt himself at all times, particularly as he nears death.

"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts." - Bertrand Russell