[BoiBoi]

Here is the situation:

I met a girl in a club, got her number, went on a date with her and banged her.

Now, I've seen her a couple of times, we always banged and everything was fine and dandy until yesterday.

It began pretty good, she did a striptease for me, sucked my dick and we started banging. Then suddenly and for no apparent reason, she got visibly upset and we stopped mid-sex, much to my confusion.
After some back and forth, she told me that her Dad abused her when she was 11 until she was 14 (she is 23 now). She didnt get into too much detail, but it obviously fucked her up somewhat.

She is into some rather rough sex, dirty talk and likes me to manhandle her. All fine with me, but sometimes her pussy would dry up and I can tell that her mind is in another place. She also told me that she doesnt want to cum, but likes to please me.

Anyhow, she is one of the most beautiful girls I've banged and also quite pleasent to be around. I'd like to keep banging her, but I wonder if she is just too messed up for a casual fuckbuddy scenario.

Thoughts?

[PompeyChris]

Keep banging, but be wary... if things are looking like they're moving even further into the weird zone... leave.

Females are irrational at the best of times.

Last thing you need is her to go crazy on you.

[Bushido]

Tread carefully. It sounds like she may have BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder). By all means, keep banging her but keep her at arms distance. BPD girls are usually amazing in bed but can be huge trouble - I'm talking false rape/DV accusations, stalking and so on.

Obviously she may not be BPD but some of the things you mentioned hit my spider sense. If she starts to bring the crazy then don't hesitate to walk.

[BoiBoi]

Yeah, I'm a bit worried about her going crazy on me. I dont know her well and I've never dealt with that kind of girl before, but I'm well aware that this could be a potential time bomb. Luckily, I'm not in the US, but false rape accusations and alike also crossed my mind.

[WestIndianArchie]

Been there more times than you can imagine. Even had a long term relationship back in my youth.

Be cool to her, but get the fuck out of Dodge.
You don't want to get wrapped up in her issues, and you certainly don't want to catch a charge.

There is an inherent danger with every bang, that a broad could go real sideways and accuse you of something and get you hemmed up by the law. Throw in pregnancy to trap you, or disease because she has a history of making poor choices... again, some things that.people only make forum posts about, not something you see on books and courses.

But if a chick volunteers that she's been abused, raped, molested, on meds that's a red flag.

There are millions of slightly more stable hot women out there that will gladly add you to their menagerie of cocks. You should never increase your risk factor by slumming with a crazy cunt, despite how great the sex is.

Most players that have repeat customers will find their icy resolves melt when their beat piece gets into a spot of trouble. Are you so good at imposing your will, that you'd easily and competently ignore her cries for help? Can you tell an unstable FB/FWB that you're not going to pick her up when she desperately needs someone?

Of course you won't listen, the sex is too good and easy, and cutting out on a chick is too hard on your psyche, but that's what you should do.

Probably a bunch of cats will tell you to continue to play with fire. You're thinking this chick isn't THAT bad... Just like criminals or teenagers, no one ever thinks the worst stuff will ever happen to them. Yet months from now when this broad reveals her true self, you're going to forget you even made this post, but be kicking yourself for not heeding the signs.

WIA

[Days of Broken Arrows]

I've learned over the years that how people take abuse depends on the people themselves. In the same way some people bounce back from unemployment yet others descend into depression and poverty, so goes the abuse victim.

That said, abuse has been shown to "rewire" the brain when it comes to how such people handle stressful situations (here is one of many links on that). This leaves victims more prone to anxiety and depression -- the result of which you might be seeing now.

How you want to go forward with this depends on weighing the good with the bad and how much drama you can personally handle. For what it's worth, one of my relatives married a woman who had virtually the same experience as your girl and they've been together 15 years with everything fine.

[TheDealCloser]

Dude! I had an experience similar to yours. I was banging this chick for about 3 months but she was always a but prudish. Come to find out that her first sexual experiences were with her brother! I played calm when she told me but in the back of my mind I was like WTF!! She could never loosen up either. She would not drink to subdue her inhibitions if we went out either. Long story short, I had to cut her off as she was catching feelings and I was not looking for an unstable to to call a GF

[BoiBoi]

(02-27-2014 07:59 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

Be cool to her, but get the fuck out of Dodge.
You don't want to get wrapped up in her issues, and you certainly don't want to catch a charge.

But if a chick volunteers that she's been abused, raped, molested, on meds that's a red flag.

There are millions of slightly more stable hot women out there that will gladly add you to their menagerie of cocks. You should never increase your risk factor by slumming with a crazy cunt, despite how great the sex is.

Most players that have repeat customers will find their icy resolves melt when their beat piece gets into a spot of trouble. Are you so good at imposing your will, that you'd easily and competently ignore her cries for help? Can you tell an unstable FB/FWB that you're not going to pick her up when she desperately needs someone?

Of course you won't listen, the sex is too good and easy, and cutting out on a chick is too hard on your psyche, but that's what you should do.

Probably a bunch of cats will tell you to continue to play with fire. You're thinking this chick isn't THAT bad... Just like criminals or teenagers, no one ever thinks the worst stuff will ever happen to them. Yet months from now when this broad reveals her true self, you're going to forget you even made this post, but be kicking yourself for not heeding the signs.

WIA

Those where exactly my thoughts. Damn. It's true, there is no pussy like crazy pussy.

Anyhow, there is another variable in the mix: I'm working abroad at the moment and will return home once my contract ends in a few months.

@Days: Thanks for the link!

@Dealcloser: There are some nasty mofos around, this shit is disgusting.

[Mage]

In my experience girls who claim past abuse are likely to claim more and more abuse.

Some people just have a victim mentality.

Be very very careful, it would be better to play beta and let her dump you ASAP so that she doesn't get decide to make a false accusation for revenge.

[The Beast1]

Ugh, this is a major red flag for me. I got locked into a LTR with a girl who claimed she was "raped" when in reality she got mad drunk and double teamed by these twin brothers. To add insult to injury, her daliance was broadcasted over a Skype video conference to the whole dorm floor.

It fucked with her and was the first time her slutty behavior came to bite her in the ass.

Either way, nowadays if a girl tells me she was raped or some other crisis du jour while in the courtship/bang phase She's put on notice. Any LTR potential is suspect and definitely not moving forward.

The ultimate red flags for me are:

1. Cuntess of York attitude
2. Short hair
3. Tatoos
4. Stories of abuse/neglect
5. Careerist

And any other smaller points on Tuths "24 signs she's a slut".

[BoiBoi]

(02-27-2014 08:53 AM)frenchie Wrote:  

Ugh, this is a major red flag for me. I got locked into a LTR with a girl who claimed she was "raped" when in reality she got mad drunk and double teamed by these twin brothers. To add insult to injury, her daliance was broadcasted over a Skype video conference to the whole dorm floor.

It fucked with her and was the first time her slutty behavior came to bite her in the ass.

Either way, nowadays if a girl tells me she was raped or some other crisis du jour while in the courtship/bang phase She's put on notice. Any LTR potential is suspect and definitely not moving forward.

The ultimate red flags for me are:

1. Cuntess of York attitude
2. Short hair
3. Tatoos
4. Stories of abuse/neglect
5. Careerist

And any other smaller points on Tuths "24 signs she's a slut".

I'm talking child molestation here, not some alleged rape while drunk. Two very different things. Anyhow, I dont do LTRs at the moment, I just wonder if I can keep banging her or if I should eject ASAP.

[Bobco]

Do you really want that box of trouble? Get a less messed up woman and quick.

[MidniteSpecial]

Leave her better than you found her.

Teach her how to move on. To live in the moment. Teach her how resentment and holding past angers can affect quality of life for her and people around her in the present.

Does she read? Give her the book "A New Earth."

If she shows no signs of getting better or even more importantly wanting to get better she's a typical kind of human who wants to define themselves by a condition or past experience. Move on or sad to say just use her for the sex and go dark triad on that ass.

[Frontenac]

I went for drinks with a former student that I TA'd, and she dropped something similar on me half way through. Apparently she had been raped when she was 13 by her older cousin or something. I had been pushing for the bang, but after hearing that I wanted to run for the hills. Walked her home, but didn't talk to her again, solely for that reason.

You're in a tough spot because you've aleady slept with her. My first immediate thought was to GTFO as soon as possible, but she's unstable, and may throw a false rape accusation at you. I like Midnite's approach. Be nice to her, show her that not all men are peder-asses, and then maybe gently ease yourself out of it if you want.

Dealing with girls like this is like playing with a hand grenade with the pin almost out.

[UK2014traveller]

(02-27-2014 08:53 AM)frenchie Wrote:  

Ugh, this is a major red flag for me. I got locked into a LTR with a girl who claimed she was "raped" when in reality she got mad drunk and double teamed by these twin brothers. To add insult to injury, her daliance was broadcasted over a Skype video conference to the whole dorm floor.

It fucked with her and was the first time her slutty behavior came to bite her in the ass.

Either way, nowadays if a girl tells me she was raped or some other crisis du jour while in the courtship/bang phase She's put on notice. Any LTR potential is suspect and definitely not moving forward.

The ultimate red flags for me are:

1. Cuntess of York attitude
2. Short hair
3. Tatoos
4. Stories of abuse/neglect
5. Careerist

And any other smaller points on Tuths "24 signs she's a slut".

Clever comment - humour, wit, whilst also being serious and accurate.

5 x red flags we should all adhere too in life.

[BoiBoi]

(02-27-2014 09:58 AM)MidniteSpecial Wrote:  

Leave her better than you found her.

Teach her how to move on. To live in the moment. Teach her how resentment and holding past angers can affect quality of life for her and people around her in the present.

Does she read? Give her the book "A New Earth."

If she shows no signs of getting better or even more importantly wanting to get better she's a typical kind of human who wants to define themselves by a condition or past experience. Move on or sad to say just use her for the sex and go dark triad on that ass.

I like your approach (especially going dark traid on her ass), but on the other hand, WIA is quite right from a strictly rational point of view. It's obviously playing with fire, but I will be leaving the country anyhow in 2 months and hence, the problem will solve itself. At least, that's what my hamster is telling me...

[samsamsam]

Sort of related - guy at the gym was telling some of us about another guy we hadn't seen in a while.

Apparently, he hooked up with a girl. She came out for a week and decided to stay. She has a kid in another country that she has abandoned. Apparently, she got pregnant with this current guy, went to get an abortion, told him it was done and later said she didn't do it. She controls him like a pet. She is also doing drugs while pregnant. A little discussion followed at what point was all this info revealed and at what point do we feel sorry for him and at what point he brought it on himself.

Yes, crazy girl sex is better than sane girl sex, but fuck do you want to mess with fire like this? I am not saying she is a piece of meat and not worthy of compassion, but be good to yourself also.

You now have some data, a serious data point, I doubt this will be the only red flag.

Keep in mind the motto, "There is always other pussy."

Edit: I am fine with helping people, I have read a new earth and other books and taken trainings. Buuuuuuut, only she can want to work on herself. Usually, that comes from hitting rock bottom, if you try to super hero her ass, she will never hit that point. I have given away a fuckload of money, time, frequent flier miles, car rides, etc. I have learned...

YOU CAN'T SAVE ANYONE. THEY MUST WANT TO SAVE THEMSELVES.

[YossariansRight]

(02-27-2014 07:59 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

Been there more times than you can imagine. Even had a long term relationship back in my youth.

Be cool to her, but get the fuck out of Dodge.
You don't want to get wrapped up in her issues, and you certainly don't want to catch a charge.

There is an inherent danger with every bang, that a broad could go real sideways and accuse you of something and get you hemmed up by the law. Throw in pregnancy to trap you, or disease because she has a history of making poor choices... again, some things that.people only make forum posts about, not something you see on books and courses.

But if a chick volunteers that she's been abused, raped, molested, on meds that's a red flag.

There are millions of slightly more stable hot women out there that will gladly add you to their menagerie of cocks. You should never increase your risk factor by slumming with a crazy cunt, despite how great the sex is.

Most players that have repeat customers will find their icy resolves melt when their beat piece gets into a spot of trouble. Are you so good at imposing your will, that you'd easily and competently ignore her cries for help? Can you tell an unstable FB/FWB that you're not going to pick her up when she desperately needs someone?

Of course you won't listen, the sex is too good and easy, and cutting out on a chick is too hard on your psyche, but that's what you should do.

Probably a bunch of cats will tell you to continue to play with fire. You're thinking this chick isn't THAT bad... Just like criminals or teenagers, no one ever thinks the worst stuff will ever happen to them. Yet months from now when this broad reveals her true self, you're going to forget you even made this post, but be kicking yourself for not heeding the signs.

WIA

Big "AMEN" to that! OP, carefully back the fuck outta the situation. Do a "slow freeze" where you gradually (but steadily) pull away. Make yourself unavailable; this will set up your bullshit exit story that you can explain to her (over the phone or better yet, via text).

I had a similar situation with a hot Colombian slore freak (what a fuck she was though...) and I threw the "Me and my ex-fiancée are going to give it another try and it wouldn't be fair to you..." bullshit story at her. Worked well; I got out of it unscathed, which in this day in age is even better than getting out without contracting a disease.

Don't let a pussy or set of tits blind you - ABORT!

[The Beast1]

(02-27-2014 09:15 AM)BoiBoi Wrote:  

(02-27-2014 08:53 AM)frenchie Wrote:  

Ugh, this is a major red flag for me. I got locked into a LTR with a girl who claimed she was "raped" when in reality she got mad drunk and double teamed by these twin brothers. To add insult to injury, her daliance was broadcasted over a Skype video conference to the whole dorm floor.

It fucked with her and was the first time her slutty behavior came to bite her in the ass.

Either way, nowadays if a girl tells me she was raped or some other crisis du jour while in the courtship/bang phase She's put on notice. Any LTR potential is suspect and definitely not moving forward.

The ultimate red flags for me are:

1. Cuntess of York attitude
2. Short hair
3. Tatoos
4. Stories of abuse/neglect
5. Careerist

And any other smaller points on Tuths "24 signs she's a slut".

I'm talking child molestation here, not some alleged rape while drunk. Two very different things. Anyhow, I dont do LTRs at the moment, I just wonder if I can keep banging her or if I should eject ASAP.

Definitely understand. Molestation is a lot worse on the scale.

What does your gut say? Without us being able to meet her, we don't have much of an idea. Trust your gut on this one. If she goes crazy, do you really think you can hit the eject button that coldly and cleanly? I know I can't, i'm not that heartless.

I'd also like to point out that not all abuse / molestation cases are the same. I was whipped around pretty hard core by my father as a child (social services had to come) but I don't let that define me nor do I tell people the story ever since I don't see the point in telling people "I was abused when I was 11". In fact, I had forgotten about it until this thread came up.

[Samseau]

You've already banged her. She's probably not as big of a threat as you imagine. There's nothing in court that would fly in this situation. I say just keep doing what you're doing, and give her a bit of therapy if she keeps talking about her past.

[eradicator]

i am a little surprised none of you are saying "Make sure she starts seeing a psychotherapist as soon as possible because that is the only way she will work through this"

as for whether you should keep banging, I agree with WIA and that you should get out of dodge. if she has been working through this with a therapist for the past decade(it doesn't sound like it), and shows that she can form attachments and have healthy relationships with the rest of her family and friends, then sure, I would say she is in a good place to be where she can interact with men in a healthy, mature and adult way. if that isn't the case(it sounds like it isnt) then

[jariel]

(02-27-2014 06:11 AM)BoiBoi Wrote:  

Here is the situation:

I met a girl in a club

[funkyzeit]

In 90% of cases it's bullshit so she can rationalize her slutty personality.

[anonymous123]

I'm with dreambig - this really made my BPD alert siren go off. No contact immediately is your only hope. False pregnancy or a hospital visit is in your near future if you don't go No Contact.

My adventure with a BPD cost me dearly.

On the other side of divorce I look for BPD flags very carefully. I've had to drop three of the best bangs ever.

- One chick seemed very normal and had a Masters in Psychology and was a counselor. Incredible in the sack. But the BPD red flags started popping up (later learned she worked at a major strip club for like 6+ years). Had to go NC.
- Second was an amazing Russian. I don't think I've ever banged a chick with this much stamina. She was addictive like crack and was the type of arm candy you could take to a professional event. She also on the surface seemed normal and put together (Masters in Finance). BPD red flags starting popping up left and right after a few weeks. Had to go NC (this was the hardest one because she had the BPD type of "Highly functional / Invisible", the most dangerous brand of this kind of vampire).
- Third was a hot red head. Sounds like a similar type as the OP (except, I think this chick HATED her mother and had an Electra complex). She wanted to get a little rough and started going the Dom route...so, I grabbed the chick by the back of the hair and bent her over the couch, pulled her pants down and gave her a spanking. She turned into this "daddy's little girl" mode...crazy shit. I'm not into spanking, but ended up spanking her ass black and blue. Next day I get a text with a pic of her bruised ass saying "What Daddy Did to Me". Had to go No Contact. (This is worthy of sharing the pic...crazy bruised ass!).

I'm sure all of these 3 had BPD. I'm also sure that there are more BPD women out there than I previously understood (that is 3 in 2 months right there). But, now that I'm a pro at spotting BPD red flags...I go No Contact immediately! Don't underestimate the BPD woman. Don't think you can just keep fucking them without consequences. Don't think you can out smart them. They lie better than you tell the truth. There are many books on the BPD woman's ability to "sing to the courts". To fake pregnancies (until they actually get pregnant). To blow your life to pieces with very little rope. It is like "invasion of the body snatchers", they don't have a soul. Their only purpose is to feed off of their host. And, they can find a way to take a ride even if you are in full on player mode and think they are just part of a "rotation". You have to drop these chicks.

Everyone that is living this lifestyle owes it to themselves to take an hour and read about BPD on the internet. Unfortunately, BPD is often confused with bi-polar, multiple personality disorder, etc. But, it is the BORDERLINES that we need to worry about, not the manic depressive. There is no cure for BPD. No medicine. All you can do is RUN!

[samsamsam]

Is BPD common? I probably should just google it, but A123 you seem to have run into quite a few in a short period of time.

Thanks for the share.