[Vaun]

Meet girl at club, 10 years younger, brazilian but college in the US, smoking hot body, ok in the face, great personality and fun to be around. Good education, great job, nice background. We happen to go to the same gym, and she was out with a trainer from that gym who introduces us. I bump into them randomly out one night.

Queue a month later I finally text her back and she is all excited to go out. We go out on three dates, the first was about the best you can have without an SNL. The second was blah. The third was like the first but somehow we end up in a spot by my place and sure enough I make it happen. She ended up staying all night and morning, that was weird but I figured wtf, we banged a few more times.

Leading up to this I was really aloof, but that works for me, the ones that I do that to usually fall in love with me. She would initiate the texts first and I was always really slow to respond. Never called her, never initiated text, texted her back over three days after the first bang.

So I am saying to myself, I want to see this girl again. The next week we start texting and she is all excited to see me. Shes telling me she wants to bang me again, do a workout together, she will then take me to a brazilian bbq. I am like fuck yeah, how about Saturday? She says cool, shes planned it out.

Now here is where it gets weird. We agreed to plans on a Wednesday, but I do not ask her about the plans, dont text to check in, confirm or any of that bullshit. We texted a little bit Thursday and asked her how her halloween went. Fun little banter. I said to myself, I am not going to text her since she set up the plans for Saturday. Saturday came and went, no sign of her, but I went out and had a good night anyway.

Where did I go wrong? We had awesome sex. We get along really well, or so I thought. I was much older, divorced with child, etc etc, I am re-playing a million different reasons in my head.

I hardly get this way now about drop offs, but for some reason I wanted this one to stick around for a bit.

[AntiTrace]

Did you text her at alll on saturday?

Some women need to see some amount of investment on your part. Its possible she was wondering if you actually enjoyed her presence or if you were trying to casually blow her off, the "soft next" if you will. She may have been hoping you would text her.

If you texted her and she never responded, well that's another story

[Vaun]

(11-04-2013 09:01 AM)AntiTrace Wrote:  

Did you text her at alll on saturday?

Some women need to see some amount of investment on your part. Its possible she was wondering if you actually enjoyed her presence or if you were trying to casually blow her off, the "soft next" if you will. She may have been hoping you would text her.

If you texted her and she never responded, well that's another story

not at all, no confirmation texts, I never do that shit, just looks needy.

[AntiTrace]

"Are you still planning on coming over" looks needy

"Grab a bottle of wine on your way over" does not.
"Got some work stuff going down, might have to cancel, ill let ya know" does not
"Bar x @ 9pm. See ya there loser" does not

Thats where you went wrong; you cockblocked yourself.

[Vaun]

(11-04-2013 09:21 AM)AntiTrace Wrote:  

"Are you still planning on coming over" looks needy

"Grab a bottle of wine on your way over" does not.
"Got some work stuff going down, might have to cancel, ill let ya know" does not
"Bar x @ 9pm. See ya there loser" does not

Thats where you went wrong; you cockblocked yourself.

Maybe, but I have been operating this way for a long time. I guess this is how I view things; if you are the one to make plans, you make the fucking plans. I dont care how hot she is. I look for investment early on, if its not there then I dont really care.

[Basil Ransom]

You sound a little insecure and/or rude - you're concerned about appearing needy or showinf interest and not getting any back so you never initiate texting with a girl you like.

It's possible she'd flake even if you had contacted her, but not texting her lowered your odds.

""Are you still planning on coming over" looks needy"

That's kinda ridiculous. I always confirm dates the day of with something like "Confirming" or "Confirming for tonight." Sometimes I'd wait to let her send that, but honestly don't think it makes much difference.

Thread belongs in the novice forum.

[Matt3B]

Sounds like you're trying to play too many games. It doesn't matter how you text a girl if the frame you set in person is the right one.

Girls are flaky. You need to confirm if you've not spoken to her, man.

[Vaun]

I dont care, confirming always looks needy and is for little boys, if you are really trying to hook someone you will get them to chase you, not vice versa. It would have been the 4th date, and if you(I) didnt build enough attraction/magnetism by then, then its off, thats how I see it. In this day and age people are fucking rude regardless, thats why everyone has this overwhelming desire to "confirm" if she still likes you. If I have to chase that person is not worth my time. Thats my thought process.

[Rutting Elephant]

Okay then, what answer to "Where did I go wrong?" are you looking for?

[Vaun]

(11-04-2013 09:51 AM)basilransom Wrote:  

You sound a little insecure and/or rude - you're concerned about appearing needy or showinf interest and not getting any back so you never initiate texting with a girl you like.

I got plenty back. And I am rude to people/woman who dont give much up front. If you are not concerned about this, arent you afraid you are always chasing after people who really dont give a shit about you? i.e. you constantly have to 'confirm' their interest in you?

[Vaun]

delete

[Vaun]

(11-04-2013 10:22 AM)puckman Wrote:  

[quote='Rutting Elephant' pid='570139' dateline='1383578125']
Okay then, what answer to "Where did I go wrong?" are you looking for?

its definitely not in confirming 'please please please are you still going to see me' hahahaha

If I set the date, and the woman confirms, I know she is down. If she sets the date, I dont say a peep, and if she still confirms, I know she is even more down. She set the date here, its her responsibility to uphold it. Heres an idea, lets keep enabling the slobs we rail against so they can keep acting like the slobs they intend to be.

[AntiTrace]

your putting a lot of faith in the logical thinking in females who have quite a reputation of being highly illogical.

And I think you may be confused with my examples of confirmation texts. Your sending a text the day of the date to restablish contact. Your pinging her, thats it. It doesn't have to be a needy question, it can be anything you want that it going to make her precious little cellphone vibrate. Thats game 101 right there. Thats why your question got moved to the newbie forum.


You attracted her, had three dates, fucked her multiple times, had her spend the night and most the morning, and you kept the attraction going enough to schedule a fourth date. You obviously didn't fuck up before hand. You fucked up with your anti-confirmation theory. That's your answer. Your welcome.


Run the game you want to run, but accept the answers that have been proven to work.

[Vaun]

(11-04-2013 10:40 AM)AntiTrace Wrote:  

your putting a lot of faith in the logical thinking in females who have quite a reputation of being highly illogical.

You attracted her, had three dates, fucked her multiple times, had her spend the night and most the morning, and you kept the attraction going enough to schedule a fourth date. You cockblocked yourself with your anti-confirmation theory. That's your answer. Your welcome.

cant there just be one???

[AntiTrace]

(11-04-2013 08:54 AM)puckman Wrote:  

Where did I go wrong? We had awesome sex. We get along really well, or so I thought. I was much older, divorced with child, etc etc, I am re-playing a million different reasons in my head.

Alright I guess I did find another problem:

Your outwardly TRYING to project a nonchalant attitude while inwardly second guessing every single you move made.

See how that doesn't work?

You want her around again? Text her. Set up a mid week date but don't agree on a location yet. The day of the date, text her again around noon to tell her the location to meet you at. If she responds and says she is going, your good. If she doesn't you move on to a nother girl.

Don't think of it as confirming with her because your really not, your TELLING her where to meet you. Your LEADING her and the interaction. Your doing what a MAN is supposed to do. Game 101.

[Basil Ransom]

You talk about her like she's your adversary in court, and not a sweet foreign girl who slept with you. Maybe you should look into why you're so bitterly opposed to extending the barest of pleasantries to her. Sounds like you want to convince yourself you're alpha by getting a girl to do 100% of the 'chasing.'

It's the 2/3 rule, not the 0/100 rule.

[Vaun]

(11-04-2013 10:55 AM)AntiTrace Wrote:  

Alright I guess I did find another problem:

Your outwardly TRYING to project a nonchalant attitude while inwardly second guessing every single you move made.

See how that doesn't work?

yes, usually I dont, but with this one I have. usually it doesnt affect me like this.

(11-04-2013 11:25 AM)basilransom Wrote:  

You talk about her like she's your adversary in court, and not a sweet foreign girl who slept with you. Maybe you should look into why you're so bitterly opposed to extending the barest of pleasantries to her. Sounds like you want to convince yourself you're alpha by getting a girl to do 100% of the 'chasing.'

It's the 2/3 rule, not the 0/100 rule.

I guess it does. Here is the bottom line, maybe its old school or whatever, but I see it as, she made the plans, she should follow through. I shouldn't have to track her down to make sure we are on. Its as simple as that. I would do that in business and in life. Someone invites me, I will assume its on unless they say otherwise.

As far as confirming as a sign of weakness, I still think it is. I carried on my day as I usually do. The pleasantries I extend come from me asking her to do something. Me chasing her to confirm her invite with me is as blue pill as one can get, unless you are really begging to be with her.

[AneroidOcean]

(11-04-2013 11:53 AM)puckman Wrote:  

(11-04-2013 10:55 AM)AntiTrace Wrote:  

Alright I guess I did find another problem:

Your outwardly TRYING to project a nonchalant attitude while inwardly second guessing every single you move made.

See how that doesn't work?

yes, usually I dont, but with this one I have. usually it doesnt affect me like this.

You're arguing like a woman or a child. "Nuh uh, I don't usually do that."

You're not giving us enough information to work with. Was she supposed to come over to your place? What are the details of the plan she made that she didn't follow through on?

Texting someone a confirmation is not a super blue pill thing to do. You obviously wanted to hang out with her or you wouldn't care "what happened." Stop trying so hard to act nonchalant. There's a huge difference between wanting to hang out with a girl and chasing her. Your black and white definition just doesn't fit.

You might as well have asked, "I texted a foreign girl to confirm the plans she made to hang out with me after I banged her and she was excited to work out with me, bang me again, and take me out to dinner to eat her native country's food...was this text beta?"

[americanInEurope]

(11-04-2013 08:54 AM)puckman Wrote:  

We go out on three dates, the first was about the best you can have without an SNL.

Edit...

Sorry I read it too quickly. When did you get the first bang? Was the sex good? Wetness, foreplay, chemistry, enthusiasm, etc?

Sometimes girls are just flaky man. You can't really help it. I've had that happen before too.

[Vaun]

(11-04-2013 03:47 PM)americanInEurope Wrote:  

(11-04-2013 08:54 AM)puckman Wrote:  

We go out on three dates, the first was about the best you can have without an SNL.

Edit...

Sorry I read it too quickly. When did you get the first bang? Was the sex good? Wetness, foreplay, chemistry, enthusiasm, etc?

Sometimes girls are just flaky man. You can't really help it. I've had that happen before too.

it went well, she was all attached, clingy afterward almost, aces on everything above. thats what I chalk it up to, flakiness. I almost want to reach out to her again, but I am too proud to do that. Fuck her if she doesnt want me.

if all these guys are so scared they will lose a date if they dont 'confirm' I guess this does belong in the newbie forum.

[All or Nothing]

(11-04-2013 05:05 PM)puckman Wrote:  

if all these guys are so scared they will lose a date if they dont 'confirm' I guess this does belong in the newbie forum.

Things I learned from puckman today:

Texting, "Still up for meeting at 7 today?" is not something normal, well socially adjusted people do, but is in fact the exact opposite. It is what desperate betas do.

Ignoring, and feigning complete disinterest in girls you are actually interested in is the way to forming healthy relationships with them.

You're on a roll today puckman! Keep those gems flowing!

[DVY]

i must be mega-beta.

i text my girls "are we still on for tonight?"
i text them "gnight" once in a while after they bang me and go home.
i buy them dinner. gasp!
i like to hang out w/them in bed and talk about random shit.

Would you rather bang or be alpha?

This whole "don't do this or do this" is way overplayed especially for girls you've hooked up with.

[Vaun]

(11-04-2013 05:52 PM)All or Nothing Wrote:  

(11-04-2013 05:05 PM)puckman Wrote:  

if all these guys are so scared they will lose a date if they dont 'confirm' I guess this does belong in the newbie forum.

Things I learned from puckman today:

Texting, "Still up for meeting at 7 today?" is not something normal, well socially adjusted people do, but is in fact the exact opposite. It is what desperate betas do.

Ignoring, and feigning complete disinterest in girls you are actually interested in is the way to forming healthy relationships with them.

You're on a roll today puckman! Keep those gems flowing!

Confirming is desperate. You look like you have nothing better to do, and probably dont.

[AntiTrace]

Good talk. I've had better discussions with a wall.

[Vaun]

(11-04-2013 06:02 PM)DVY Wrote:  

i must be mega-beta.

i text my girls "are we still on for tonight?"
i text them "gnight" once in a while after they bang me and go home.
i buy them dinner. gasp!
i like to hang out w/them in bed and talk about random shit.

Would you rather bang or be alpha?

This whole "don't do this or do this" is way overplayed especially for girls you've hooked up with.

I already banged her and put a lot of effort into the initial stages, and I can date a new girl every night if I put in slightly more effort, so I am not all that desperate and dont have to chase anyone. If after an initial bang, a few dates, some money spent, she is not coming after you, its only down hill from there and getting out is probably best. Keep in mind she set up the date. You dont find social contracts, social graces, etiquette appealing? The thing is most of these boys coming up have no idea of the concept, so expecting someone else to have that is seen as mean, confrontational, boo hoo hoo hoo hoo. cry me a rape river boys.