[Amigoish]

(04-08-2013 02:59 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  

(04-07-2013 08:47 AM)Captain Ahab Wrote:  

Alright, went out last night and did okay. Honestly, I am mad that my inner pussy is still fucking with me.

It is quite clear that unless I get a handle on my inner pussy I won't do well with women. Crashing and burning has to mean NOTHING to me if I want to do well with women. I still am affected pretty harsh by the blow outs.

Going to put the pause button on this for a little bit and go figure some shit out. I plan on going out still, doing approaches, but I feel I am in need of some serious inner dialogue, journal writing, and introspection. I feel pissed off that women have so much control over my emotional state and overall general well being as a person. I have to figure out why my identity as a person is so dependent on female approval.

Something is not right.

Everything is fine.

This is part of the process.

Just keep going.

Start day gaming.

Don't get discouraged. Just keep going.

The self doubt will disappear with more practice and experience.

Just keep going.

Great accomplishments don't come easy.

Great reminder. I get tired of game a few times and then kept going and things started to get slightly better and better, as if in a process. Every beginning is difficult, in any area.

[Captain Ahab]

Thanks for the advice guys.

I think I am more concerned with my severe reaction (emotional) to rejection rather than the self doubt/confidence. I talked with a group of guys I trust with my development as a man and they made the case that I more than likely have some toxic shame/abandoment issues. I've been journaling quite a bit and have had some success already. I am gaining some huge awareness about myself, the life that I've led, and the life I will eventually lead.

I guess I have arrived at the crossroads portion of my life. In the end, it is much deeper than women.

I ordered some books and plan on working through them. I'll check in on the forum from time to time since I am getting some PM's and I'm still in the infant stages of my red pill views.

I will be back on the saddle soon. Again, this is the minor leagues. Having gone out quite a few times, approached a good bit, and recognized the weaknesses, I have to do some inner stuff before I get to the outer stuff. Honestly, I think the outer stuff is quite easy once the inner stuff is gone, so much so I could consider getting lad a game.

Get it? Game.

Be back in a bit. Stay approaching.

[renotime]

Have you asked yourself what Hunter S. Thompson would do?

[Giovonny]

(04-13-2013 08:26 AM)Captain Ahab Wrote:  

I think I am more concerned with my severe reaction (emotional) to rejection rather than the self doubt/confidence.

This is easy to fix. Just approach more girls.

With more repetitions, you will have a less emotional reaction to each rejection.

Don't be so emotional, it is not helpful.

Be passionate about getting better, not emotional about failing!

(04-13-2013 08:26 AM)Captain Ahab Wrote:  

I more than likely have some toxic shame/abandoment issues.

This is a bit more tricky to fix.

I recommend getting professional help.

Find a therapist who specializes in this. Be honest and tell them your issues.

If they don't help you, find a another therapist who is a better fit for you.

Get help!

(04-13-2013 08:26 AM)Captain Ahab Wrote:  

I think the outer stuff is quite easy once the inner stuff is gone,

It depends, some people need to work on their outer game first.

Others need to work on their inner game first.

Some people need to work on both at the same time.

I suspect that you should focus on your "toxic issues" right now.

But, also talk to as many girls as you can.

Do both. Get help for your issues!

[Giovonny]

(04-21-2013 10:38 PM)renotime Wrote:  

Have you asked yourself what Hunter S. Thompson would do?

Just curious...

What do you think he would do???

I need to study that guy!

[renotime]

Hmm, guess he couldn't find any time for the ladies that day.

Maybe it's wrong of you to ask that question, Ahab.

[OGNorCal707]

Any update on this thread, you go out this past weekend Captain Ahab? It sounds like you may have gone back into study mode, I see this as kind of a passive way to learn game, as opposed to the active way, which is going out in field and approaching. I think both are important to do, I usually lean towards the study side of things, but have gone through serious phases of active gaming. I wouldn't just drop off and only do the reading, keep on plugging away, and like others have said each rejection will sting less than the one before. Sooner or later, shit won't even phase you any more.

[Amigoish]

My issue is balancing my focus on learning game and on earning more money. It seems like they go into opposite directions.

[Captain Ahab]

(04-22-2013 06:04 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  

(04-13-2013 08:26 AM)Captain Ahab Wrote:  

I think I am more concerned with my severe reaction (emotional) to rejection rather than the self doubt/confidence.

This is easy to fix. Just approach more girls.

With more repetitions, you will have a less emotional reaction to each rejection.

Don't be so emotional, it is not helpful.

Be passionate about getting better, not emotional about failing!

(04-13-2013 08:26 AM)Captain Ahab Wrote:  

I more than likely have some toxic shame/abandoment issues.

This is a bit more tricky to fix.

I recommend getting professional help.

Find a therapist who specializes in this. Be honest and tell them your issues.

If they don't help you, find a another therapist who is a better fit for you.

Get help!

(04-13-2013 08:26 AM)Captain Ahab Wrote:  

I think the outer stuff is quite easy once the inner stuff is gone,

It depends, some people need to work on their outer game first.

Others need to work on their inner game first.

Some people need to work on both at the same time.

I suspect that you should focus on your "toxic issues" right now.

But, also talk to as many girls as you can.

Do both. Get help for your issues!

I think inner game is necessary in regards to your identity. I've been doing a lot of journal writing, reading, and reflection. I can honestly say I am not the same person I was in regards to who I am, what I plan on doing with my life, etc.

I think the emotional reaction to the blow outs triggered a trip down a huge memory hole which led me to come to grips with a lot of inner demons, some of which involved my identity as a man.

I noticed how I was jumping over a lot of hoops for women and didn't like what I was becoming.

Pussy or not, I have to be proud of who I am first and foremost. I understand some guys do x, y, and z to get a woman to notice them but I just couldn't do it. After spending $200 bucks on some cowboy shoes, $300 bucks on a phone, all under the pretext of "increasing my attraction' towards women, going out, getting blown out, and damn near falling into depression I knew something was up.

I did not like who I was/what I was becoming, and pounding away at numerous holes would not fix that problem.

I should have spent that money on a damn typewriter and started on my novels.

Oh well, lesson learned. People my age are becoming who they are.

Hence, I put the pause button on. And as of press time it is still on.

I've read a great book on healing toxic shame (Healing The Shame That Binds You by John Bradshaw) which outlines to a T what toxic shame is, its manifestations, and how to get rid of it. Bradshaw even mentions how rejection to a shame based person feels like a knife to the chest, one of the most painful things an abandoned toxic person can deal with.

Luckily, I have quite a lot of therapy under my belt and feel my recovery shouldn't be too long. I decided to attend 12 step meetings, not because I plan on quitting drinking, but because I want to be around people who can give me an ear.

The only way to remove shame is to bring it out in the open. This is deeper than game.

I write this as I listening to an album by Rick Ross called Deeper Than Rap.

His best album bar none.

Oh, and the Warriors are getting stomped by Denver...

[Captain Ahab]

(04-22-2013 11:51 PM)renotime Wrote:  



Hmm, guess he couldn't find any time for the ladies that day.

Maybe it's wrong of you to ask that question, Ahab.

Thompson was a complete nutcase. Damn good journalist though.

[Captain Ahab]

(04-23-2013 07:36 PM)OGNorCal707 Wrote:  

Any update on this thread, you go out this past weekend Captain Ahab? It sounds like you may have gone back into study mode, I see this as kind of a passive way to learn game, as opposed to the active way, which is going out in field and approaching. I think both are important to do, I usually lean towards the study side of things, but have gone through serious phases of active gaming. I wouldn't just drop off and only do the reading, keep on plugging away, and like others have said each rejection will sting less than the one before. Sooner or later, shit won't even phase you any more.

Yep.

I've been digging deeper with some introspection, focusing on my craft in regards to writing and taking the GRE, and working me BLOOD CLAT two freaking jobs.

I feel like I am moving forward but I am tired. El Mechanico hit me up to go to the local casino not too long ago but I had to bail because I was so tired.

I started strength training recently. I bought starting strength and had my first hardcore work out today. It felt good. I also outlined my five year plan on where I want to go in life. Slowly, slowly, slowly, I am getting it together.

In terms of the toxic shame/fear, well, that is what must be dealt with.

Despite my "chubby chaser" status, I have done quite a few approaches over the course of the years I knew about PUA. Certainly enough to say I shouldn't have an issue with rejection and even if I did, I shouldn't be feeling the painful blows like I did.

Having read Healing The Shame That Binds You, Bradshaw (the author) was perfect in pointing out exactly what was wrong with me and to put it bluntly, my shamed based identity.

He can get a little preachy with the God reliance and sex addiction (I don't believe there is a sex addiction per se, but reliance on pornography and fantasy based lovers is an addiction, one I am currently destroying), but it is a good book.

When will I step into the arena? I think it will be more to do with my economic situation, my physical and emotional situation, and how much I work on my weaknesses that lay under the surface.

I'll get over the abandonment/trauma shit. I got a great plan, lots of resources for recovery, and emotional support. If I were to itch for a date I would say sometime this summer, maybe July or August. No later than August. I respect taking the time to work on yourself but I do realize that life is passing me by. Hell, I could die tomorrow.

I got to get out there..soon...while I still have my youth.

But yeah, that night was tough. I think what I did was try and be superman when psychologically/emotionally I was Pikachu.

Oh well, lesson learned.

After a month of two of starting strength, shame reducing/grief work, and confidence in who I am as a man, confidence in where I am going, and the belief that I can get there....I should be good to go.

Yes sir,I will get mine.

Please believe.

[renotime]

Why are you so afraid to fail?

The man who doesn't fall never stands up.

[Giovonny]

(04-30-2013 08:10 PM)Captain Ahab Wrote:  

I've read a great book on healing toxic shame (Healing The Shame That Binds You by John Bradshaw)

Great. This is the root of your problems.

Fix that shit.

Shame/abandonment issues can be fixed. It just requires hard work, honesty, and the right HELP.

GET HELP WHEN YOU NEED IT!

That stuff can be overcome. It's all a mental/psychological battle.

Keep pushing, keep grinding, it happens little by little.

Love yourself at all times. Never hate yourself.

Talk to yourself the way you would talk to a child that is injured. (Loving, supportive, etc.)

Keep going!

(04-30-2013 08:26 PM)Captain Ahab Wrote:  

Slowly, slowly, slowly, I am getting it together.

Yes, it takes time. The more you work at it, the more momentum you will create.

Adjust your lifestyle. Maybe work less if you can. Create the lifestyle that works for you.

Keep going!

(04-30-2013 08:26 PM)Captain Ahab Wrote:  

Please believe.

I believe. I have been through what you are going through. I had similar issues.

I fixed them. I know people that have been through worse, they survived, they dealt with their issues. They created a lifestyle that they enjoy.

Fix your issues, create your lifestyle!

Keep working.

Be more aggressive. Attack your issues!

[Captain Ahab]

(05-02-2013 11:01 AM)renotime Wrote:  

Why are you so afraid to fail?

The man who doesn't fall never stands up.

Failing isn't what ails me, more the emotional pain associated with failing, making mistakes, and rejection. Hard to explain but the text I've referenced can outline those who struggle with chronic perfectionism/catastrophic mistakes.

[Captain Ahab]

(05-02-2013 01:33 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  

(04-30-2013 08:10 PM)Captain Ahab Wrote:  

I've read a great book on healing toxic shame (Healing The Shame That Binds You by John Bradshaw)

Great. This is the root of your problems.

Fix that shit.

Shame/abandonment issues can be fixed. It just requires hard work, honesty, and the right HELP.

GET HELP WHEN YOU NEED IT!

That stuff can be overcome. It's all a mental/psychological battle.

Keep pushing, keep grinding, it happens little by little.

Love yourself at all times. Never hate yourself.

Talk to yourself the way you would talk to a child that is injured. (Loving, supportive, etc.)

Keep going!

(04-30-2013 08:26 PM)Captain Ahab Wrote:  

Slowly, slowly, slowly, I am getting it together.

Yes, it takes time. The more you work at it, the more momentum you will create.

Adjust your lifestyle. Maybe work less if you can. Create the lifestyle that works for you.

Keep going!

(04-30-2013 08:26 PM)Captain Ahab Wrote:  

Please believe.

I believe. I have been through what you are going through. I had similar issues.

I fixed them. I know people that have been through worse, they survived, they dealt with their issues. They created a lifestyle that they enjoy.

Fix your issues, create your lifestyle!

Keep working.

Be more aggressive. Attack your issues!

Yeah, inner work from now until christ comes back. I do plan on getting out there since handling this will not get me more confidence in game but life itself.

As I said, it is deeper than game.

[el mechanico]

Quote:

Yeah, inner work from now until christ comes back. I do plan on getting out there since handling this will not get me more confidence in game but life itself.

As I said, it is deeper than game.

How about I just force you to pull girls?

[renotime]

(05-02-2013 04:57 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  

Quote:

Yeah, inner work from now until christ comes back. I do plan on getting out there since handling this will not get me more confidence in game but life itself.

As I said, it is deeper than game.

How about I just force you to pull girls?

This sounds like a good premise for a reality tv show.

[Captain Ahab]

(05-02-2013 07:45 PM)renotime Wrote:  

(05-02-2013 04:57 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  

Quote:

Yeah, inner work from now until christ comes back. I do plan on getting out there since handling this will not get me more confidence in game but life itself.

As I said, it is deeper than game.

How about I just force you to pull girls?

This sounds like a good premise for a reality tv show.

lmao

I plan on doing some open mics in Tampa Bay. They have a little comedy club group that I plan on joining in June once school is out and I have more free time.

[Captain Ahab]

(05-02-2013 04:57 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  

Quote:

Yeah, inner work from now until christ comes back. I do plan on getting out there since handling this will not get me more confidence in game but life itself.

As I said, it is deeper than game.

How about I just force you to pull girls?

Next time you are in Tampa on a Friday or Saturday night hit me up.

[el mechanico]

Go to " Cheaps" late tonight. Dress nice a bunch of sluts from the hospital in springhill are going to party there. Don't be shy

[Captain Ahab]

(05-03-2013 05:49 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  

Go to " Cheaps" late tonight. Dress nice a bunch of sluts from the hospital in springhill are going to party there. Don't be shy

Didn't see this until after the "ding" Already two beers in and the playoffs are on. Let me know if anything goes down next week in Soho.

Btw, you have any Labor Day Weekend plans? I haven't been on your boats yet.

[OGNorCal707]

You ever start listening to Tariq Nasheed's podcast, macklessonsradio.com? Brother spits mad fire, just listening to one episode a night before sleep, will help you upgrade your game long term. Also, someone has edited out a lot of the fluff and posted his shows on youtube, the channel is TheMaybach1984, definitely check it out. A great episode to start with is called "The heart of a Player."

[Captain Ahab]

(05-03-2013 09:01 PM)OGNorCal707 Wrote:  

You ever start listening to Tariq Nasheed's podcast, macklessonsradio.com? Brother spits mad fire, just listening to one episode a night before sleep, will help you upgrade your game long term. Also, someone has edited out a lot of the fluff and posted his shows on youtube, the channel is TheMaybach1984, definitely check it out. A great episode to start with is called "The heart of a Player."

I have to put him on my playlist for sure.

[BoneDaddy]

(05-04-2013 06:37 PM)Captain Ahab Wrote:  

(05-03-2013 09:01 PM)OGNorCal707 Wrote:  

You ever start listening to Tariq Nasheed's podcast, macklessonsradio.com? Brother spits mad fire, just listening to one episode a night before sleep, will help you upgrade your game long term. Also, someone has edited out a lot of the fluff and posted his shows on youtube, the channel is TheMaybach1984, definitely check it out. A great episode to start with is called "The heart of a Player."

I have to put him on my playlist for sure.

Hey Captain, I was down there last week and had full intentions of meeting up with you and Mech, but it just didn't work out. Will be back in a month or so and we'll try again.

Have you hit up Hogan's Beach out on Rocky Point? I was there on Sunday night and it was poppin'. It sort of reminds me of Shephard's on Clearwater Beach. I'm gonna keep it in mind as an inland Shephard's alternative. It actually does have its own man-made beach that fronts on the Bay, so you still get the waterfront feel.

[OGNorCal707]

Start at 24:00 for game...

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