First, I give credit to Thomas the Rhymer for his posts in this area.
Second, all of you guys who are in high demand because of your education and experience combo can stop reading. The rest of us who are just starting our careers and hoping to not get stuck in something low-paying and dull for the rest of our lives have a different battle. Since we don't have unique technical skills/experience we have to turn to social skills to stand out from the other one million people who could do our job.
Here's one very long example of what to do about that situation.
The life of a socially successful 24-year old man
He wakes up early and does what he needs to in order to get ready for his day. *Maybe he wakes up with a pretty woman and “socializes” her*
He then goes into his morning fitness routine. It may be his only personal time during the day OR it may be a group run/bike/swim or fitness class. He may have even chosen this particular group because of their social and professional connections.
Then he checks in with his roommates briefly over breakfast and prepares for work.
Even traveling to work is an opportunity to network for this man. He carpools OR knows everyone on the bus/train by name. He knows where they work and a little about their personal lives and interests. OR he travels to work alone and takes that as his only personal time of the day.
Still, before he gets to his work site he socializes. He gets a coffee/bagel/donut/smoothie a few times a week and chats up people in line, the cashier, and the barista. He is careful in selecting his café and chooses a location where he’ll run into people who work near his office, friends/potential romantic interests, or people who work somewhere where he would eventually like to work. His choices are limited if he carpools or takes public transportation, but this doesn’t stop him from choosing a café that is within walking distance of his office.
Finally, he arrives. Yet, he does not go directly to his office. He takes time to socialize with people who work in nearby offices. He takes it as an opportunity to learn about opportunities at other companies that are right next door. He also uses it as a chance to make contacts and leverage the connections of those contacts outside of his office.
When he goes into his office he speaks to all of the frontline staff. He knows the security guard’s name and interests, he knows the secretary’s favorite candy, and he knows all of the executive assistants and the executives assistants’ assistants. They're not going to be the ones to stop him from speaking to senior directors and people in the C-Suite. If he doesn’t have enough time to do this before he clocks in, then he will find time during the rest of his day.
He arrives at his desk after saying hi to at least half of the people who are in his immediate workspace and probably has checked in with people outside of his team and department if there’s time.
He begins to work, but no one cares how good his work is. They only care about liking him and feeling as though he likes and cares about them. Because of this, he does a mediocre job at work and focuses on socializing. People know he is reliable and can get the job done. His strong social connections in the office ensure that he has the resources he needs to do his job. He may wish for more, but at this stage in his career he will need to focus on building a strong network that can eventually propel him into the position where he is most effective and more accountable for using his skills, intellect, and resources to perform beyond basic competence. The job he has now is just a good job for a 24-year old in a non-tech field; it’s nothing earth shattering and he could easily be replaced by another smiley 24-year old. They won’t replace him because they like him so much.
In fact, he started as an intern at the company. That’s when he first set out to be on a first name basis with 1/3 of his company. He probably got the internship through his connections, but he may have been one of the lucky ones who was chosen without being recommended by an insider. He interviews well. As his internship period came to a close there were numerous people ready to help him find another position within the company or use their connections to find him a position outside of the company.
And now he’s chosen to stay here. He uses his 15-minute break to socialize at work. A person concerned with competence would probably spend the time reading about trends in their career field or industry. He uses the fact that he is in an office full of working people as an opportunity to socialize and network. He doesn’t spend the time relaxing in the bathroom and hiding from people. He may even get out of the office and socialize with someone in the next office. He never eats lunch alone and usually eats with one or two groups from his immediate workspace. He routinely schedules lunch with a new person one day a week. Either way, if he does not get to know someone during his workday he asks to meet with them outside of work.
If he doesn’t have a carpool to catch then he is free to choose to attend after work functions. There’s happy hour a few times a month, basketball, fitness class at the company gym or nearby facility, etc. He may just go to happy hour with his carpool every now and then. At least once a week he has social plans immediately after work where he socializes with someone from his immediate work group and at least once a week he makes plans after work to socialize with someone outside of his office. He takes the bus home and does not use his Ipod to unwind. He socializes with the evening commute crowd on his train. If he’s driving then he takes the time to organize his schedule verbally or in his mind.
He arrives home and attends to the basics of life. Cooking, cleaning, and preparing for the immediate future are musts. He makes adjustments to his schedule and works on keeping in touch with people who are outside of his work life. He gets face-to-face time with new and old acquaintances by participating in community activities and socials three or four times a week. Finally, he takes an opportunity to check in with his roommates over dinner, in some fitness activity, relaxing by watching TV or playing video games together, or going out to socialize with them in a public venue. His roommates may not be as extraordinary as he is, but he’s made sure that he isn’t in a situation where he comes home to a stressful and energy draining environment.
At the end of the night he begins his personal grooming routine and let’s his mind wander where it may. He has guaranteed and unfocused personal time as he grooms, cleans, and organizes for the next day. Then he uses the last 30 minutes of his productive time to pursue a personal interest.
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How would you adapt this for someone who is unemployed and can't joke around the water cooler or flirt with the fat executive assistant every morning?
Second, all of you guys who are in high demand because of your education and experience combo can stop reading. The rest of us who are just starting our careers and hoping to not get stuck in something low-paying and dull for the rest of our lives have a different battle. Since we don't have unique technical skills/experience we have to turn to social skills to stand out from the other one million people who could do our job.
Here's one very long example of what to do about that situation.
The life of a socially successful 24-year old man
He wakes up early and does what he needs to in order to get ready for his day. *Maybe he wakes up with a pretty woman and “socializes” her*
He then goes into his morning fitness routine. It may be his only personal time during the day OR it may be a group run/bike/swim or fitness class. He may have even chosen this particular group because of their social and professional connections.
Then he checks in with his roommates briefly over breakfast and prepares for work.
Even traveling to work is an opportunity to network for this man. He carpools OR knows everyone on the bus/train by name. He knows where they work and a little about their personal lives and interests. OR he travels to work alone and takes that as his only personal time of the day.
Still, before he gets to his work site he socializes. He gets a coffee/bagel/donut/smoothie a few times a week and chats up people in line, the cashier, and the barista. He is careful in selecting his café and chooses a location where he’ll run into people who work near his office, friends/potential romantic interests, or people who work somewhere where he would eventually like to work. His choices are limited if he carpools or takes public transportation, but this doesn’t stop him from choosing a café that is within walking distance of his office.
Finally, he arrives. Yet, he does not go directly to his office. He takes time to socialize with people who work in nearby offices. He takes it as an opportunity to learn about opportunities at other companies that are right next door. He also uses it as a chance to make contacts and leverage the connections of those contacts outside of his office.
When he goes into his office he speaks to all of the frontline staff. He knows the security guard’s name and interests, he knows the secretary’s favorite candy, and he knows all of the executive assistants and the executives assistants’ assistants. They're not going to be the ones to stop him from speaking to senior directors and people in the C-Suite. If he doesn’t have enough time to do this before he clocks in, then he will find time during the rest of his day.
He arrives at his desk after saying hi to at least half of the people who are in his immediate workspace and probably has checked in with people outside of his team and department if there’s time.
He begins to work, but no one cares how good his work is. They only care about liking him and feeling as though he likes and cares about them. Because of this, he does a mediocre job at work and focuses on socializing. People know he is reliable and can get the job done. His strong social connections in the office ensure that he has the resources he needs to do his job. He may wish for more, but at this stage in his career he will need to focus on building a strong network that can eventually propel him into the position where he is most effective and more accountable for using his skills, intellect, and resources to perform beyond basic competence. The job he has now is just a good job for a 24-year old in a non-tech field; it’s nothing earth shattering and he could easily be replaced by another smiley 24-year old. They won’t replace him because they like him so much.
In fact, he started as an intern at the company. That’s when he first set out to be on a first name basis with 1/3 of his company. He probably got the internship through his connections, but he may have been one of the lucky ones who was chosen without being recommended by an insider. He interviews well. As his internship period came to a close there were numerous people ready to help him find another position within the company or use their connections to find him a position outside of the company.
And now he’s chosen to stay here. He uses his 15-minute break to socialize at work. A person concerned with competence would probably spend the time reading about trends in their career field or industry. He uses the fact that he is in an office full of working people as an opportunity to socialize and network. He doesn’t spend the time relaxing in the bathroom and hiding from people. He may even get out of the office and socialize with someone in the next office. He never eats lunch alone and usually eats with one or two groups from his immediate workspace. He routinely schedules lunch with a new person one day a week. Either way, if he does not get to know someone during his workday he asks to meet with them outside of work.
If he doesn’t have a carpool to catch then he is free to choose to attend after work functions. There’s happy hour a few times a month, basketball, fitness class at the company gym or nearby facility, etc. He may just go to happy hour with his carpool every now and then. At least once a week he has social plans immediately after work where he socializes with someone from his immediate work group and at least once a week he makes plans after work to socialize with someone outside of his office. He takes the bus home and does not use his Ipod to unwind. He socializes with the evening commute crowd on his train. If he’s driving then he takes the time to organize his schedule verbally or in his mind.
He arrives home and attends to the basics of life. Cooking, cleaning, and preparing for the immediate future are musts. He makes adjustments to his schedule and works on keeping in touch with people who are outside of his work life. He gets face-to-face time with new and old acquaintances by participating in community activities and socials three or four times a week. Finally, he takes an opportunity to check in with his roommates over dinner, in some fitness activity, relaxing by watching TV or playing video games together, or going out to socialize with them in a public venue. His roommates may not be as extraordinary as he is, but he’s made sure that he isn’t in a situation where he comes home to a stressful and energy draining environment.
At the end of the night he begins his personal grooming routine and let’s his mind wander where it may. He has guaranteed and unfocused personal time as he grooms, cleans, and organizes for the next day. Then he uses the last 30 minutes of his productive time to pursue a personal interest.
----
How would you adapt this for someone who is unemployed and can't joke around the water cooler or flirt with the fat executive assistant every morning?