[Juan Antonio]

Met a girl on POF. Brunette 7, 23 years old. She lives 1 hour away from my town, but she drove over to see me en route to picking up her brother from the local college.

First date was late afternoon at a dessert spot. Went for a walk in the park after. 2 hour date and hug-close at the end.

The day after our first date I get the following email:

Quote:

Hey Juan,

I had a really great time hanging out with you yesterday, you seem like a great guy and I enjoyed our conversation immensely. I just wasn’t feeling the right kind of chemistry necessary to move forward in this direction. However, I do see the potential for a good friendship, as we seemed to get along well and I felt pretty comfortable around you -obviously since I was apparantely mirroring you a bit. I hope you had a good time yesterday as well, and I hope to hear from you again.

Lisa

Since this girl actually seemed intelligent and interesting, I responded with the following 2 days later:

Quote:

Sounds good, keep in touch.

A week later I get the following email:

Quote:

Hey Juan,

Just wondering if you were interested in getting together again. I'll be in (neighboring town) next Thursday, which probably means I'll also be in (my town) to pick up my brother (I know I'm planning in advance, but from your emails I know you travel a bit), so if you're interested let me know.

Lisa

3 days later:

Quote:

Hey Lisa,

Thursday should be good. There's a cool cafe called XYZ in (my town) on (street). How about we meet there at 7?

Let me know if that works.

Juan

2 days later:

Quote:

Hey Juan,

Okay that sounds good, I'll see you then!

Lisa

On the morning of our scheduled hang out, I get the following text:

Quote:

Hey Juan, I'm really sorry but I'm going to have to cancel tonight. I just found out my grandma was put in the hospital lastnight, so basically I have to pick up my brother and go. Can we reschedule?

I respond:

Quote:

k when are you back in (my town)?

Quote:

Not sure, possibly next friday, will let you know asap

Quote:

sounds good

A week later on Thursday night I get the following text:

Quote:

Hey, ok I've been trying to coordinate plans all week, and can't get to (my town) tomorrow (I apologize for the delay). Let me know what works for you, and since my brother is done at school, if you'd be interested in meeting half way.

It's been a week now and I still haven't responded to her last text.

Usually when a girl friendzones me after a first date, I never hear from them again. Especially online girls. I'm confused as to what this girl's intentions are. I have other girls on my plate so she's low priority, but is this girl still bangable? Why is she still contacting me?

[JohnKreese]

I wouldn't completely write her off, but you don't need to be putting in ANY effort. For one, she blatantly friendzoned you; second, she called you by the wrong name in an email; third, she is quite a flake.

If you actually enjoy spending time with her knowing that there is a decent chance that nothing will come from it, only plan stuff on days/nights where you have nothing going on and don't break plans to hang with her. Play a little bit more of a subtle game and she may either come around and want to hook up or you could be hanging out in a setting where you could use alcohol to your advantage.

There is also the possibility that she is screening you for her friends who may have potential, but again, the less effort on your part, the better.

[Private Man]

Girls have boyfriends and girlfriends. If you're not fucking her, you're her girlfriend.

Personally, I have zero tolerance for the FriendZone. I urge you to do the same.

[polymath]

Ignore her, she won't disappear.

[MrXY]

Daytime date?

Dessert place?

Walk in park?

Hug goodbye?

Seriously?

Of course she friendzoned you-you acted like you wanted to be her girlfriend

And the sick grandmother? That was a jerk Guy
y whose cock she was longing to deepthroat
Delete this girl forget her and remember what she taught you.


Seriously?

[haywire]

Hug-close?? I'ma start keeping a track of those from now on

While I won't write her off completely, I won't put any extra effort from my side(like meeting her halfway) to meet her either. Just get her to come to you on your terms and escalate like a mofo and if she resists just cut her loose.

[aphelion]

Figure out what you did wrong, move on. You lost.

[aphelion]

also for chrissakes don't explain game shit to her, you told her she was mirroring you.

[scribblec]

hug close hahahahaha!

nowonder no chemistry

[Ramon Zarate]

'Hug close' was hilarious!

Aphelion's right in that staying away from explaining game to her is a good rule of thumb, and I also think it's cheeky as hell on her part to friend zone you if she met you on a dating site. What the fuck?

I'd probably just tell her that I'm not interested in making new friends, and leave it at that. Then I'd go and chat up more women. The beauty of abundance mentality is that you don't feel like you have to put up with behaviour you don't like.

[kdolo]

u are in friend zone and the odds of getting are near zero - at best she see's you as a maybe Beta provider after she has rode the dock carousel.

Set it and Forget it dude.

[lurker123123]

as long as she's willing to hang out with you what is the harm in meeting up and escalating? thats the only way to find out. just dont put in any effort

[Samseau]

Attention whore. She wants to meet halfway? Deal killer right there, she's not into you. Girls who want to fuck will drive hours to get that D. Tell her you'll see her but make up a good excuse why you can only see her near your apartment. If she comes run some game and escalate.

[Gmac]

She's flaked and tried to friendzone you. FUCK her. Unless she's driving to your place for a movie don't waste any more time on this bitch.

Your mistake #1 was not doing drinks on the first date.

[deepcov3r]

Wise friend of mine once said "If they said fuck you once, they'll do it again."

[Catch 22]

Wow didn't you kiss her or go for more? That and that alone is the reason for the friend zone. Shockingly, I'd say she's interested enough that she's curious to find out if you're a chump who only hugged her or if you're a man. Lucky break, must have been some immediate attraction based on your looks, or something like that. Be a man and you can salvage your mistake. I wouldn't cut her out - it's your fault, not hers. Fix it and consider yourself lucky she gave you a second chance.

GMAC is right about having her drive to your place for a movie. Should be even easier since you're "just friends." Then make an abrupt move and she won't know what hit her. And she'll love it. Or leave and leave you alone. Both are good.

[polymath]

About hugging:

If you don't think she'd return a kiss, and you don't feel comfortable playfully biting her neck or something like that, then I can see why you would "hug close" (dude it hurts just to write that phrase haha).

BUT, if you're going to do something nonsexual like hugging, at least make it physical. Maybe pick her up off the ground. Girls are receptive to strength, perhaps because they encounter it less frequently than men, who often grow up wrestling, playing contact sports, etc.

Just a thought.

[party1981]

1. Don't tell a girl she is "mirroring" you (or use any other game concept). This was a huge signal explaining why you got friend-zoned.

2. I don't believe in burning the bridge with girls - you never know when pussy will finally open up. It takes very little effort to keep a friendship alive instead of ignoring it or sending an angry fuck-off message. Plus, having more friends, and more lady friends, will make you more sociable and attractive (and help you meet other women).

Roosh and a lot of other more expert womanizers don't agree with me on this, so take it with a huge grain of salt.

3. I would just take her at her word. If she says he has to reschedule, then be open to rescheduling. 2, 3, 4 times... these are shit tests and you pass them by acting like it is no big deal, and having other cool, exciting things to do.