[jcardial]

(06-26-2018 02:32 PM)mistakemaker Wrote:  

(06-26-2018 01:02 PM)jcardial Wrote:  

(06-26-2018 10:48 AM)mistakemaker Wrote:  

Another thing: How in the hell do you try to approach interesting girls that are in groups?

As I said before, I am NOT the type to go out to clubs or bars, but I don't mind going out in parks, for example, or just walking around. I swear to God, nearly everytime I saw a decent or highly smashable girl in the park, she was with a fugly friend and a couple of times, with girls around her looks level (which tends to make things even more intimidating). How in the hell do you separate these chicks from the pack? I like walking in parks while listening to audiobooks (staying alone in the house tends to let dark thoughts in, about my loneliness) but something like 95% of the time, hot girls are usually either with a guy (most likely boyfriend) or with a group of friends, not alone.

I already know that some of you will advice picking up chicks on the street but most of the eye catching ones are usually in no mood to talk cause they are in a hurry, whereas I would think the ones that come to the park, come to take a load off and enjoy some peace and quiet, thus being a bit more receptive to strange guys coming over to proposition them.

You clearly aren't following the advice that we labored to give you. Delete every picture you have of this girl and block her on all social media (this is an order). We already told you everything you did wrong and left no stone unturned, so you're just wallowing by bringing her up to your friend. You're just prolonging this way more than you need to. She obviously only seems so special because you have limited access to new options. So fix that by continuing to meet new people.

Just get out there and do more activities where you can meet strangers and network. Stop worrying so much about the quality. Be realistic about what your value is physically and career wise and shoot for that ballpark or below it to start. One doesn't simply go from being a depressed hermit to being Rico Suave with twenty year old 8+s over night.

Approaching women in public is inherently a bit needy and is basically like cold calling. With no social proof or status it is going to be hard to do well for yourself and naturally has very low returns for most. It's fine for practice but unless you're exceptionally good looking and good with game it's going to be hard. If you can't impress the washed up cougars at speed dating it's going to be a tall order to close hot strangers in the park.

Why don't you try nightlife to get some practice and confidence? When you're trying to get back into things and build up confidence at least go after a demographic that is open to meeting new people.

I deleted her phone number, all photos from my phone, I have unfriended her from FB. This isn't from now, but from before I created the thread. I gave in so to speak and checked out her public FB pics and I am glad to see that I starting to see her a ghost from the past, I don't really get those pains of imagining her with someone else. She was just...there. So I think I am on the right track on this front.

I know that I need to get out and meet people, it's what my friend was telling me as well, hence the (failed) approaches, speed dating etc. My problem with your last piece of advice is that I loathe the nightlife scene. Fucking hated it when I was a teen, don't care for it now in my 30's. I have 2 left feet, music is outstandingly loud (you literally can't hear what the chick next to you is saying) and usually really shitty with regards to what I like to listen to. Not really much of a drinker, drinks are OVERPRICED as fuck, especially in the better clubs. Basically the maybe five times I've been in a club in my life have all ended with unsuccessful attempts at picking women up, getting way too expensive drinks, getting cheaper drinks at outside bars if the people I went with struck out as well, going home, puking, sleeping, waking up with a headache. Visiting a hooker would have paid better dividends and been less of a gyp.

Not to mention the human flotsam you saying hanging in these establishments, of both sexes. Jesus Christ, the stories I could tell you from my friend that went out to these clubs every weekend when he was younger.

The nightclub life will never be for me, I knew this very early on, I don't like being there and it shows. I don't say this to chicken out but I do believe we need to play to our strengths. My kriptonite has always been leggy brunettes that don't make me embarassed for the human race when they open their mouth. I highly doubt you find that combination in nightclubs from what I've seen. This is why I thought that, as someone without much experience in these last couple of years, I would go for more bookworm-ish types that you could find in bookshops and parks. Hope you get the gist of what I am saying.

I never said anything about clubs. There's not a single classy spot in your city to mingle and have a drink or two? It's just a good way to hone your social skills and interact with women that are much more likely to want to be approached. It doesn't have to be your main vehicle for meeting people but it can only help to have extra experience. Sure the average girl is going to be less cerebral especially at a club, but there are very normal girls out cocktail and wine bars. Almost everybody goes out with friends at some point.

If you end up dating a twenty something she's inevitably going to want to go out once in a while. It's a big asset to have even some basic dancing skills and to not come across as a boring stiff old man. I'd take some classes or hire a private teacher. You don't have to be able to tear it up, but having stone zero skills is a game leak that can be plugged easily.