Huff-Po blogger dates a sane man and gets more than she bargained for -
http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/5563576
http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/5563576
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"Your body is too wrinkly," he said without a pause. "I have spoiled myself over the years with young woman. I just can't get excited with you. I love your energy and your laughter. I like your head and your heart. But, I just can't deal with your body."
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Soul on the Run is the gut-wrenchingly honest portrayal of one woman’s search for herself, and her refusal to continue playing the game of let's pretend everything is okay. What's more, it reminds us-when we are honest with ourselves-that we can start life over at any age. Korth's words are pithy and raw, sometimes almost brutal, and often just plain funny. There are commonsense insights into living life and a sometimes mystic questing into the hidden avenues of the human heart. To read this book is to journey into your own heart and spirit. The questions and comments of this woman's piercing search for joy and meaning will spark your own. You cannot read this book without becoming a participant in your own soul's journey toward life.
Quote:Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:
There is a softness around my waist that is no longer perfectly taut, and the pout of my abdomen attests to a c-section that took its bikini flatness -- but gave me a son. [Too narcissistic to have a standard childbirth?]
Quote: (07-13-2014 03:19 PM)speakeasy Wrote:
I don't have any problem with what she says in the article. Why's she being attacked? She's not coming off as a raging entitled feminist. She's almost 60. She's aging. It's nobody's fault that they get old and are less attractive than they were at their prime. No point in berating people for something they have no choice about. I'm sure it's no revelation to her or her female readers that men crave younger bodies. I didn't see her lambasting men for that preference. She just seems to be trying to deal with the emotional aftermath of her aging and be positive and accepting about something that is out of her control anyway. I can't tell much about her background but she did mention having a kid. Maybe she was previously married too. I can't find any fault in her here.
What I don't understand is why that guy would lead her on in the first place if he knew he wasn't attracted to older women. What's the point of making dinner for a woman and cuddling up with her when you know you don't want to bang? To me that's fucked up. Just as I'd be pissed at any girl that was making me dinner, nestling up in my bed and then refusing sex.
Quote:Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:
There is a softness around my waist that is no longer perfectly taut, and the pout of my abdomen attests to a c-section that took its bikini flatness -- but gave me a son. [Too narcissistic to have a standard childbirth?]
I was born with a Cesarian. It had nothing to do with narcissism from my mother, it was what the doctor suggested due to the way I was positioned in her womb.
Quote: (07-13-2014 03:38 PM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:
Quote: (07-13-2014 03:19 PM)speakeasy Wrote:
I don't have any problem with what she says in the article. Why's she being attacked? She's not coming off as a raging entitled feminist. She's almost 60. She's aging. It's nobody's fault that they get old and are less attractive than they were at their prime. No point in berating people for something they have no choice about. I'm sure it's no revelation to her or her female readers that men crave younger bodies. I didn't see her lambasting men for that preference. She just seems to be trying to deal with the emotional aftermath of her aging and be positive and accepting about something that is out of her control anyway. I can't tell much about her background but she did mention having a kid. Maybe she was previously married too. I can't find any fault in her here.
What I don't understand is why that guy would lead her on in the first place if he knew he wasn't attracted to older women. What's the point of making dinner for a woman and cuddling up with her when you know you don't want to bang? To me that's fucked up. Just as I'd be pissed at any girl that was making me dinner, nestling up in my bed and then refusing sex.
Quote:Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:
There is a softness around my waist that is no longer perfectly taut, and the pout of my abdomen attests to a c-section that took its bikini flatness -- but gave me a son. [Too narcissistic to have a standard childbirth?]
I was born with a Cesarian. It had nothing to do with narcissism from my mother, it was what the doctor suggested due to the way I was positioned in her womb.
OK, I get that. And it happens.
But the reason I made my comment is because about ten years ago there was a trend amongst celebrities to get c-sections to avoid stretching the tissue around their abdomen. I noticed this started to filter into the upper middle class, which this woman seems to be part of.
The trend of elective c-sections by wealthy women was dubbed "Too Posh to Push" by the media.
Quote: (07-13-2014 01:27 PM)WD-40 Wrote:
Notice how her raw, wrenching and brutal honesty is worthy of a book, whereas his raw, wrenching and brutal honesty is just horrible and cruel.
Quote: (07-13-2014 03:45 PM)Akula Wrote:
^^^ in the US there's another reason: litigation. If there's any chance of a problem birth I think the hospitals pretty much mandate that a C-Section is done in order to make sure they don't get sued if the baby or mother die during childbirth. Such is the worry over medical malpractice lawsuits.
Quote: (07-13-2014 03:19 PM)speakeasy Wrote:
...Why's she being attacked? She's not coming off as a raging entitled feminist. She's almost 60. She's aging. It's nobody's fault that they get old and are less attractive than they were at their prime. No point in berating people for something they have no choice about. I'm sure it's no revelation to her or her female readers that men crave younger bodies. I didn't see her lambasting men for that preference....
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As a 64 year old man, I found this article very moving and powerful. I'm in good health and physical shape 175 lbs and I do Yoga class 3 times a week. Still, I notice from photos over the last few years that I'm beginning to look much older. It's a constant battle that I will never win, only give up yardage gracefully.
Saying "goodbye" to my youth has been hard...I was born blond and thin and have been a performer and minor star most of my life. My self-image is partially bound up in being attractive...to women, and to everyone. I'm the person that everyone at my class reunions always says "how do you never age, man?!"
But, it's happening now to me too. Being OK with it is a new challenge, but an inevitable and necessary one.
I have to leave youth to the young people now while still maintaining my health and happiness in my "new" body. It's hard, but it's time.
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Who the hell do men think they are that they get to dictate to us what their physical preferences are?
Quote: (07-13-2014 04:09 PM)Ryre Wrote:
She calls his words "vicious" and says that he inflicted "hurt and horror" on her
[...] She hasn't decided to refocus...on dating men closer to 70 (to whom she might be a catch.)
Quote: (07-13-2014 04:34 PM)Renzy Wrote:
This comment from user Penny White made me laugh:
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Who the hell do men think they are that they get to dictate to us what their physical preferences are?
Yeah guys, who the hell do men think they are deciding for themselves what they find attractive! Only women are allowed to do that!
Quote: (07-13-2014 04:09 PM)Ryre Wrote:
Quote: (07-13-2014 03:19 PM)speakeasy Wrote:
...Why's she being attacked? She's not coming off as a raging entitled feminist. She's almost 60. She's aging. It's nobody's fault that they get old and are less attractive than they were at their prime. No point in berating people for something they have no choice about. I'm sure it's no revelation to her or her female readers that men crave younger bodies. I didn't see her lambasting men for that preference....
She did, though. She calls his words "vicious" and says that he inflicted "hurt and horror" on her.
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She treats his lack of attraction for a wrinkled, short-haired 59-year-old woman as just an idiosyncratic "idea of what female sexual perfection should be." She calls her body "beautiful" and claims to feel "sickly sorry" for the "sad man" who said otherwise.
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She's firmly in the camp of those who claim that every body is beautiful, that it is wrong for men to express any preference for women with the signs of youth and fertility evolution designed us to pursue. When she gets sexually rejected by a man, she attacks him. Come to think of it, she's the female version of a "creepy nice guy." She feels entitled to sex from Dave because they went on some bike rides together.
At the end of the piece she has learned nothing. She hasn't decided to refocus on being a grandmother or on dating men closer to 70 (to whom she might be a catch.) She shows no understanding that this is the tradeoff for the years when she could have any man she wanted. No, it is Dave who is sad, Dave who fails to see her beauty, Dave who needs to change. Classic hamsterism.
Quote: (07-13-2014 04:34 PM)Renzy Wrote:
This comment from user Penny White made me laugh:
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Who the hell do men think they are that they get to dictate to us what their physical preferences are?
Yeah guys, who the hell do men think they are deciding for themselves what they find attractive! Only women are allowed to do that!
Quote: (07-13-2014 11:33 AM)Benoit Wrote:
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"Your body is too wrinkly," he said without a pause. "I have spoiled myself over the years with young woman. I just can't get excited with you. I love your energy and your laughter. I like your head and your heart. But, I just can't deal with your body."