Blogger and project manager Sarah Pressler went to the WordPress conference called WordCamp. She went in as a woman tired of hearing about women being victims until the ultimate horror happened: three men flirted with her.
I know, I know. It's awful. One guy changed the subject to say he liked her...necklace. Another said he liked her eyes. One insinuated they get together or hook up or whatever in a sort of oblique, Beta Male way. Now she feels she "smiled too much" and doesn't want to go back unless she with male company.
What could possibly be going on? Besides the need for drama and humblebragging?
For one thing, women who perpetually "date" into their thirties don't wear rings like married women, so men don't know who they can and can't flirt with anymore. For another, they mistake honest compliments as sexual come-ons. Many a man has said something nice to a woman who no intention of getting into her pants.
Finally, there exists a type of woman who think reality needs to mold itself to her needs. Life isn't like that. Women get hit on. Men get called out to fight. You deal with it and move on. Unless someone is being really nasty, life goes on. (And none of her examples here seemed boorish or "touchy" -- if they had, I might have sided with her.)
My mother was model-gorgeous when she was younger and got hit on all the time, especially since she worked in the banking industry. When this happened, she would simply put her hand up and say "taken!" End of discussion. Somehow she was promoted through the ranks and became massively successful, all while raising several kids and continuing to look good.
The danger, and the reason I'm posting, is that this is part of what's redefining basic male attention as "harassment." Flirting = calls for gender segregation, apparently.
Here is the blog post, titled "WordCamps for Women?"
Below is a laundry list of her gripes:
I definitely won’t come to a WordCamp again without John.
I guess I shouldn’t have smiled so much.
Next time I’ll definitely guard myself around these guys.
Maybe I shouldn’t have been so interactive.
Did I give off the wrong impression?
Really wish I had John here to run interference.
I’m not attending Sunday. This so exhausting. I just don’t want to deal with it.
Kind of an expensive trip to get blown b/c of all this. I was really looking forward to Sunday – now it’s a little too awkward. I feel like I blew $1500 for… what. WordCamp Stickers?
I’m not sure I want to come to a big event again. It’s just a lot of money to spend for all this. And traveling with John = twice the expense. I can just google all the WordCamp topics. Stick to local events.
I’ll spend the extra money to book it out of here in the morning. I wonder how early of a flight I can get back to Texas.
I sure wish John was here. If he were here this probably wouldn’t have all gone this way.
Wow Male #3 asked me to help him with something WordPress-y. But… why me? Because he thinks I’m actually helpful…or … yeah… I’m not going to follow up on that. Disappointing missed opportunity…
I hope I don’t see hook-up boy anytime soon…so awkward now.
And God – seriously – I’ve never experienced so much peer pressure to get drunk than at WordCamps. Worse than high school!
I wish we weren’t always having casual networking in bars and loud party-venues. It’s really exhausting and … the smoke…the beer… the liquor… eh.
Next time I’ll just not introduce myself to the men I don’t know and stick a little closer to the women.
Next time I’ll have John stick close by so I’m not like – out there alone.
Sort of stupid that in 2014 I want my man with me I’m “protected.” That’s so lame.
You know it’d be so awesome if we had a Women of WordCamp Day where it was just females only.
I know, I know. It's awful. One guy changed the subject to say he liked her...necklace. Another said he liked her eyes. One insinuated they get together or hook up or whatever in a sort of oblique, Beta Male way. Now she feels she "smiled too much" and doesn't want to go back unless she with male company.
What could possibly be going on? Besides the need for drama and humblebragging?
For one thing, women who perpetually "date" into their thirties don't wear rings like married women, so men don't know who they can and can't flirt with anymore. For another, they mistake honest compliments as sexual come-ons. Many a man has said something nice to a woman who no intention of getting into her pants.
Finally, there exists a type of woman who think reality needs to mold itself to her needs. Life isn't like that. Women get hit on. Men get called out to fight. You deal with it and move on. Unless someone is being really nasty, life goes on. (And none of her examples here seemed boorish or "touchy" -- if they had, I might have sided with her.)
My mother was model-gorgeous when she was younger and got hit on all the time, especially since she worked in the banking industry. When this happened, she would simply put her hand up and say "taken!" End of discussion. Somehow she was promoted through the ranks and became massively successful, all while raising several kids and continuing to look good.
The danger, and the reason I'm posting, is that this is part of what's redefining basic male attention as "harassment." Flirting = calls for gender segregation, apparently.
Here is the blog post, titled "WordCamps for Women?"
Below is a laundry list of her gripes:
I definitely won’t come to a WordCamp again without John.
I guess I shouldn’t have smiled so much.
Next time I’ll definitely guard myself around these guys.
Maybe I shouldn’t have been so interactive.
Did I give off the wrong impression?
Really wish I had John here to run interference.
I’m not attending Sunday. This so exhausting. I just don’t want to deal with it.
Kind of an expensive trip to get blown b/c of all this. I was really looking forward to Sunday – now it’s a little too awkward. I feel like I blew $1500 for… what. WordCamp Stickers?
I’m not sure I want to come to a big event again. It’s just a lot of money to spend for all this. And traveling with John = twice the expense. I can just google all the WordCamp topics. Stick to local events.
I’ll spend the extra money to book it out of here in the morning. I wonder how early of a flight I can get back to Texas.
I sure wish John was here. If he were here this probably wouldn’t have all gone this way.
Wow Male #3 asked me to help him with something WordPress-y. But… why me? Because he thinks I’m actually helpful…or … yeah… I’m not going to follow up on that. Disappointing missed opportunity…
I hope I don’t see hook-up boy anytime soon…so awkward now.
And God – seriously – I’ve never experienced so much peer pressure to get drunk than at WordCamps. Worse than high school!
I wish we weren’t always having casual networking in bars and loud party-venues. It’s really exhausting and … the smoke…the beer… the liquor… eh.
Next time I’ll just not introduce myself to the men I don’t know and stick a little closer to the women.
Next time I’ll have John stick close by so I’m not like – out there alone.
Sort of stupid that in 2014 I want my man with me I’m “protected.” That’s so lame.
You know it’d be so awesome if we had a Women of WordCamp Day where it was just females only.