[Lumiere]

When it comes down to it, sexual relationships fall into two categories.

Fenced - based on the concept of sexual ownership like a conventional bf / gf or husband / wife relationship

Un-fenced - a relationship where both parties know that they are free to do what they want with other people (I dont really like the term open relationship) and permission to hook up with other people is not required

Curious as to what you prefer for LTRs and why?

Does it depend on how much you like the girl?

Do you mix the two for example by having a fenced relationship but cheating?

BTW I realise that society does not promote un-fenced for LTRs and heavily promotes (you might say insists) only fenced for LTRs but, personally, I have many, many sucessful un-fenced LTRs running right now and would never dream of going back to fenced hence the question.

Please post the reasons for your preference in the thread if you are going to vote.

[Nonpareil]

(11-07-2011 10:56 AM)Lumiere Wrote:  

When it comes down to it, sexual relationships fall into two categories.

Fenced - based on the concept of sexual ownership like a conventional bf / gf or husband / wife relationship

Un-fenced - a relationship where both parties know that they are free to do what they want with other people (I dont really like the term open relationship) and permission to hook up with other people is not required

Curious as to what you prefer for LTRs and why?

In a relationship with investment I prefer exclusivity, but is it really of any consequence? At the end of the day, people are going to do whatever they want, and if it's something bad, they'll lie about it or deny it.

Quote:

Does it depend on how much you like the girl?

If I have a quality girl, yes I want to keep her to myself, quality these days is in such short supply. If she's of lower quality, well...I mean I'm not going to be thrilled if a girl I fuck every few weeks is sleeping with another guy, but what can you do about it? The only scenarios of bringing it up are worst-case; she attempts to push you into an LTR, or she stops handing out blowjobs.

Quote:

Do you mix the two for example by having a fenced relationship but cheating?

Once you have enough game, and I have seen this in myself and other men, it's basically impossible to be faithful to one woman...even if you love her.

Quote:

BTW I realise that society does not promote un-fenced for LTRs and heavily promotes (you might say insists) only fenced for LTRs but, personally, I have many, many sucessful un-fenced LTRs running right now and would never dream of going back to fenced hence the question.

Society will promote anything that heavily benefits women but costs men, so their stance on relationships isn't exactly correct. I've had good 'fenced' LTRs and good 'un-fenced' mini-LTRs, but I've also had bad versions of both.

In the end I prefer to be able to exploit and enjoy the benefits of choice.

[Lumiere]

(11-07-2011 12:24 PM)Nonpareil Wrote:  

Once you have enough game, and I have seen this in myself and other men, it's basically impossible to be faithful to one woman...even if you love her.

So why be unfaithful either?

If, as you quite correctly pointed out, human beings are not monogmamous creatures by nature (neither men nor women btw) why choose to go against nature which is what you do when you enter into a fenced relationship?

The whole 'if she a quality girl I want exclusively' argument is an interesting one that I have heard before but, if you really like a girl wouldn't you want to not posion the connection that you have with her which is exactly what happens when one, or both of you cheat?

(11-07-2011 12:24 PM)Nonpareil Wrote:  

Society will promote anything that heavily benefits women but costs men, so their stance on relationships isn't exactly correct.

Actually the invention of marriage in human history and fenced relationships as the norm, which dates back about 10,000 years ago to the agriculturual revolution, was a system designed by men to allow them to best best ensure that they are raising their own kids, passing their property down their own blood line and not someone else's therefore ensuring the best chance of survival for the genes.

The reason why men felt it necessary to make this the norm is explained by paternity concern. The fact that women can have sex with as many men as they want and never need to worry that they are raising someone else's kids. The chidren come out of their body and so they know that they are raising their children even if they dont know who the father is.

Of course men, historically, never had such a luxury and were the only sex that experienced such concern. Fenced relationships promoted and insisted on as the sociatal norm as a way to deal with this concern.

[Lumiere]

Any of the other people that voted care to explain their preference?