[_DC_]

So I've looked up the definition for Anxiety e.g GAD, such as trembling, sweating, nausea etc. and it seems to strong to be what I'm experiencing.

I feel like I've always had a very heightened sense of other people's perception of me, mostly in manner and appearance. What's funny is this feeling is always strong while passing people in hallways or sitting on the metro. It's a strong (but not overwhelming) feeling towards strangers. I rarely have this feeling towards people I know (even a little bit).

When I think about it, it's stupid, because wtf would I care what a complete stranger thinks of me. I've logically thought it through many times, yet I can't bring myself to "not care".

Perhaps is mild anxiety. Perhaps its a personality trait. I guess everybody else could be feeling kinda similar, or everybody else could care less, because really it's hard to know what a stranger is thinking!

This is in "everything else" because I truly feel its pretty tangential to picking up girls. In a dark bar I feel less self-aware, especially after a few drinks. It's just an uncomfortable feeling sometimes, and I wish I could shake it somehow.

Any thoughts?

[Riker]

Do you feel like you're constantly judging other people? Maybe with people you know you're not too judgmental but with strangers you are and it makes you feel like they are being the same way with you.

Remember that everyone is thinking about themselves and their lives and aren't really thinking about you. Hope this helps.

[Geronimo]

Maybe it's OCD.

[_DC_]

(07-08-2011 04:15 AM)Riker Wrote:  

Do you feel like you're constantly judging other people? Maybe with people you know you're not too judgmental but with strangers you are and it makes you feel like they are being the same way with you.

Remember that everyone is thinking about themselves and their lives and aren't really thinking about you. Hope this helps.

I took a look at OCD, that seems too extreme also... and I'm never doing repetitive behaviors.

Another thing worth mentioning is that I'm actually very good looking, and dress well, its not necessarily a fretting about negative things, just a super heightened awareness of people perceptions. There is nothing manly about that though. Perhaps its that I put too much "stock" in my appearance.

Its probably something sub-clinical and I'm usually against medication/psychiatrists, as it doesn't severely effect my life. I was just wondering if a general self-consciousness in public situations was somewhat normal. Perhaps knowing that very few people give a f-ck about other strangers would ease my mind a bit.

[Clyde]

I used to be like that. I still am to a lesser extent.

@Riker has a great point. Surprisingly a lot of this is due to being conceded. I personally did judge others often, or assumed myself superior.

[_DC_]

(07-08-2011 10:16 AM)Clyde Wrote:  

I used to be like that. I still am to a lesser extent.

@Riker has a great point. Surprisingly a lot of this is due to being conceded. I personally did judge others often, or assumed myself superior.

This seems right.. I'm definitely conceited.

Is there anyway that you got around this? Give people a break? Reread the Grapes of Wrath? haha

[Riker]

We're all the same baby, one love http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xjPODksI08

[_DC_]

(07-09-2011 11:15 AM)Riker Wrote:  

We're all the same baby, one love http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xjPODksI08

I've seen that vid. It's great. I like "Stand by Me" better by the same people.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Us-TVg40ExM

[Amour Fou]

There are many books on coping with social anexiety.

Just an example: http://www.amazon.com/Managing-Social-An...IJWMT93L7X

This particular one is designed for patients, meaning it intends to be more approachable and less technical.

Oh, and great music by the way!

[hoops330]

Smoking weed used to help with my social anxiety although I would venture to say that it would make most people even more self-conscious.

[No Habit]

Let me revive this thread as I came to the conclusion that I am suffering from this and that it has been having a big impact on my life since years.

The biggest problem for me right now is having extreme facial tension which I cannot control. Most of the time out in public my face turns into a grimace and I have never been conscious of this until yesterday. A girld told me "Why do you always have this stupid grin?" this was not the first time I heard something like this and I finally became aware of what was going down.



90% of my time out in public my face turns into a grimace and 50% of my mental processing power seems to go out of the window too when this is happening. I become very stiff and unrelaxed. It lasts for hours if not even days.

It is so crazy that I never thought about this until now. I always hang around with the cool guys and noone ever told me "Man you're face looks fucked up, whats wrong with you?". I never had the luxury of being made fun of by others.

If you are fat you will get told "You fat motherfucker", you get slim and it's all cool, but if you're face looks like a grimace you will end up being a male 2 instead of a male 10 and you will never even know.

All that happened to me was a drill seargent in the army telling me to "Stop grinning motherfucker" for a few times, a teacher who threw me out of the class because of not stopping to grin and this girl yesterday. Also there were those photos of me which got shot in situations were I was uncomfortable and my face looks ridiculous on them. Then I always intensely felt my facial muscles out in public but I thought this would just be my mind focusing on that area and not my muscles actually getting tight.

It makes me totally unattractive. I wondered how it is possible that one day I cannot attract a 4 and on the next day I attract 8s and 9s. I just couldn't come to any conclusion. Now I know, the difference was that my face was completely relaxed the other day.

On those days were I attracted all the hot girls my mind was in complete "I don't give a fuck mode" and I thought this was just some crazy exception happening to me. Now I know this is the norm, this is how normal people behave.

They don't have this social anxiety spasm in their soul expressing itself through their faces.

I also walk robotic at times
I have to defeat this shit.

[Fortis]

How's your fitness? Since I've begun to work on my body, my SA has diminished greatly. It's not completely gone, but It's manageable.

If you're not lifting, then I suggest you start and report back. Moderate exercise 3-4 times a week really killed my depression/anxiety.

[game_ethic]

I used to have mild social anxiety when I was a teenager. As cliché as it sounds, you really do just have to stop giving a fuck. That's all it is honestly. Get comfortable with discomfort. I used to feel exactly like how you described.

Try yelling while you're in a public place, like on a subway or on the sidewalk. People will look at you briefly wondering if you're a mad man but then they will go back to doing their own thing; they don't care about what you're doing. I used to do that when I felt tense in public.

Literally force yourself to talk to strangers. You could even say the most mundane of things, such as "Hey," "You look nice today," "How are you doing?" Do this a few times a week and you'll realize you've been worrying about nothing.

[No Habit]

Thanks for the support Fortis.

I am lifting and have been doing Calisthenics for years, also had depressions but they are almost non existent for me anymore.

I don't know if it is a confidence issue. It seems that this is some kind of almost unconscious thought pattern that burned itself deeper and deeper into my mind over the years.

@game_ethic

Quote:

I used to have mild social anxiety when I was a teenager. As cliché as it sounds, you really do just have to stop giving a fuck. That's all it is honestly. Get comfortable with discomfort. I used to feel exactly like how you described.

Try yelling while you're in a public place, like on a subway or on the sidewalk. People will look at you briefly wondering if you're a mad man but then they will go back to doing their own thing; they don't care about what you're doing. I used to do that when I felt tense in public.

Literally force yourself to talk to strangers. You could even say the most mundane of things, such as "Hey," "You look nice today," "How are you doing?" Do this a few times a week and you'll realize you've been worrying about nothing.

Man I think you are completely on point there. I am scared of making loud noises. People give me compliments on my strong deep voice but I barely even use it.



It all makes sense now. Man I can't believe how this shit fucks with me and I never noticed...

It's like taking the social anxiety red pill for me right now.

[TravelerKai]

(07-16-2014 01:55 PM)Bad-Habit Wrote:  

Thanks for the support Fortis.

I am lifting and have been doing Calisthenics for years, also had depressions but they are almost non existent for me anymore.

I don't know if it is a confidence issue. It seems that this is some kind of almost unconscious thought pattern that burned itself deeper and deeper into my mind over the years.

Get your hormonal balance right. Adrenal gland repair, take L-Zinc, etc. There is a kick ass thread on this in the Lifestyle called "Zinc has made me a better man". If it is not on the front page, drop it in the search field. It's by Midnight Special the RVF member if I recall correctly.

[TravelerKai]

Also make sure you supplement B vitamins, it is good for mood and depression.

[Fortis]

(07-16-2014 01:55 PM)Bad-Habit Wrote:  

Thanks for the support Fortis.

I am lifting and have been doing Calisthenics for years, also had depressions but they are almost non existent for me anymore.

I don't know if it is a confidence issue. It seems that this is some kind of almost unconscious thought pattern that burned itself deeper and deeper into my mind over the years.

Great man. It's funny, so many of the issues I've had can all be traced back to my body. I naturally under eat, which I think can fuck up your thyroid and lead to all sorts of nasty issues. How's your diet?

It can be REALLY hard to try and break yourself out of the mental state that you get into when depression and SA are both present.

What sorts of activities bring out your SA, exactly?

There's a cool podcast about state control that I know about. You might enjoy it. It's helped me a lot with anger and other negative emotions. I can PM you a link, if you're interested.

[No Habit]

I appreciate your help TravelerKai. I guess as a last resort I will get my blood checked and supplement if neccessary, or just experiment.

Quote:

Great man. It's funny, so many of the issues I've had can all be traced back to my body. I naturally under eat, which I think can fuck up your thyroid and lead to all sorts of nasty issues. How's your diet?

I also have a lot of trouble trying to gain weight and have suffered from some kind of IBS since puberty. I sometimes get painful bowel spams and cramps out of nothing. This too fucked with me big time because I was always scared of this happening to me in public. Nowadays I only have this a few times per year and I think I was able track it down to artificial sweeteners recently.

Quote:

What sorts of activities bring out your SA, exactly?

Man... everything. As soon as I am ready to leave the house my pulse rate jumps up.

The rare times when I am completely relaxed and present are when I am truly not giving a fuck about other people opinions but I usually lose that peaceful state after one or two days in social settings.

Quote:

There's a cool podcast about state control that I know about. You might enjoy it. It's helped me a lot with anger and other negative emotions. I can PM you a link, if you're interested.

I sure am interested, thanks.

[TravelerKai]

Don't just experiment. Read and research. Push yourself to arm yourself with as much knowledge that you can, so that you do not have to reinvent the wheel all over again.

http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-15255.html

http://www.rooshvforum.network/forum-14.html

[Dragonstone]

First of all, I'm not qualified to answer if you have SA or anything else.

There is very little doubt in my mind that I would probably meet at least some definitions of SA, let alone the "informal" measurements scattered over the internet. It is not pleasant. There are weeks that I get SA to the point where I drive to a mall just to "force myself" to walk around.

That said, I've read of cases far more severe than mine. There's a lot more cases of SA out there than you'd think from the fairly limited media coverage of the subject.

[No Habit]

Found a thread that might be interesting for other people also suffering from this: http://ehealthforum.com/health/stiff-face-t175578.html

One guy solved it by training his face muscles to relax at will.

[No Habit]

I was able to fix that facial tension issue but the origin, the anxiety, still remains and I guess you guys are right about checking out the diet.

I had been very confident yesterday evening, this morning I woke up extremely insecure and anxious out of nothing.
I am pretty sure the cause was that I only ate fastfood and sugars yesterday. My gut was slightly going nuts this morning, too.

[Enjoythedecline]

Anyone ever experienced a panic attack until faint ?

[No Habit]

Update from me.

I had a day free of any anxiety again and I think I know the problem now. It is straight up overthinking.

I had a side job interview and was extremely stressed and nervous the days before even though I know it wasn't a big deal, abundance mentality, my stress levels went through the roof anyway. I barely slept the first night, couldn't really think anymore and was in a constant fight or flight reaction. At least I could still come to the conclusion that my cortisol levels were way to high and I changed my diet and added magnesium pills to get it down.

After I had been to the job interview and they were satisfied with me the stress was relieved and suddenly all my anxiety was gone.
On my walk home strangers started greeting me, which usually doesn't happen. Back at my condo I saw a different man in the mirror. Not that anxious insecure guy but a good looking alpha.

I wondered how this transformation happened and tried to focus on my thoughts. There were none. There were only thoughts popping up and going now and then but it was mostly action by me that was taking place. I was doing all kinds of stuff I had procrastinated the days before and it felt great. I could enter a tram full of hot lizards being completely calm.

As I am writing this now I am almost back to that old state of insecurity and anxiety and I think the root of the problem is overthinking. When I am anxiety free I am acting all the time. Act, act, thought, act, act...

I could literally feel the bad things creeping back into me with every thought that was missing an act. I think I am lacking things like new clothes to do all the stuff I want to do and so I end up not doing them. I am staying isolated at home waiting for the time to pass by and money to come in. And when I am waiting alone my doing changes from acting and thinking a little to only thinking and not acting at all.

It is as if one needs a healthy balance out of acts and thoughts but for me the thoughts seem to take over and control me.

I am now investigating this. This could be counterproductive though if thinking is my problem...

(07-23-2014 02:35 PM)Enjoythedecline Wrote:  

Anyone ever experienced a panic attack until faint ?

No, you?

[Engineer]

For your overthinking/SA/facial tension I suggest meditation. It makes you calmer. There's a million different ways, find one that works for you.

You have already practically won this battle by becoming self-aware and asking for advice. 99% of people don't get that far with their problems. Good Luck!