A lot of guys in the pick up community frown on using alcohol to pick up girls. I don't know, this guy makes a lot of sense to me. lol
Using Alcohol To Cure Approach Anxiety (Alcohol Game)
Alcohol is fantastic for destroying approach anxiety. That being said, nothing will beat the momentum you get from being "in-state." If you do a few approacheds in the begging of the night and build some momentum then you will be as carefree and cool as if you were drunk. It's a fantastic feeling.
Nothing against anybody that drinks alcohol to approach. To be honest, I would be drinking a lot more but I have mild IBS and alcohol really fucks with my stomach. Otherwise I don't see anything wrong with alcohol game-wise, only financial and health-wise.
Alcohol can be a fantastic "booster" to your night.
If you rely on alcohol to approach, you probably have shit game anyways. But if you have solid game, then alcohol can take it to the next level because you reach the apex of not giving a fuck.
Nothing against anybody that drinks alcohol to approach. To be honest, I would be drinking a lot more but I have mild IBS and alcohol really fucks with my stomach. Otherwise I don't see anything wrong with alcohol game-wise, only financial and health-wise.
Alcohol can be a fantastic "booster" to your night.
If you rely on alcohol to approach, you probably have shit game anyways. But if you have solid game, then alcohol can take it to the next level because you reach the apex of not giving a fuck.
Grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference
You dont need to drink. But if the girl drinks it becomes significantly easier. Its like playing computer game on normal mode instead of nightmare mode.
Frankly from my own experience and from reading the posts here I think about 70% of all the collective notches here involved alcohol from at least one party.
Girls will cockblock you and cockblock themselves and hamster spin when sober.
Frankly from my own experience and from reading the posts here I think about 70% of all the collective notches here involved alcohol from at least one party.
Girls will cockblock you and cockblock themselves and hamster spin when sober.
Ass or cash, nobody rides for free - WestIndiArchie
Quote: (05-29-2015 06:50 PM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:
You dont need to drink. But if the girl drinks it becomes significantly easier. Its like playing computer game on normal mode instead of nightmare mode.
Frankly from my own experience and from reading the posts here I think about 70% of all the collective notches here involved alcohol from at least one party.
Girls will cockblock you and cockblock themselves and hamster spin when sober.
I agree wholeheartedly. Just like guys, girls have their own internal demons inside that prevent them from having a good time - and alcohol destroys these demons.
Alcohol makes a girl exponentially easier to game, especially if you are good looking.
Grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference
You can use alcohol as a crutch for aa but I can tell you firsthand that in the long run it does a hell of a lot more harm than good. If you are real new to game I would recommend you earning your stripes while sober. If she's drunk/drinking it definitely makes life a lot easier, but you don't have to.
Alcohol can be used as a temporary cure for approach anxiety. The issue is, however, that it doesn't really help you in the long run. Rather than building positive reference experiences, you can rationalize it by saying "I was drunk," or something equivalent. It's a short term fix that doesn't really help you in the long run.
Approach anxiety largely comes from a lack of self-acceptance. The evolutionary psychology explanations are really just male rationalizations. Alcohol just numbs you to your lack of self-acceptance; it doesn't make it disappear. I'm finding this out the hard way as I'm going more into day game. At night, you may have minimal approach anxiety, largely because you're drinking or whatever. Day game doesn't allow that. You have to really master it on your own, which is tough.
Approach anxiety largely comes from a lack of self-acceptance. The evolutionary psychology explanations are really just male rationalizations. Alcohol just numbs you to your lack of self-acceptance; it doesn't make it disappear. I'm finding this out the hard way as I'm going more into day game. At night, you may have minimal approach anxiety, largely because you're drinking or whatever. Day game doesn't allow that. You have to really master it on your own, which is tough.
If you're not fucking her, someone else is.
Y'all taking self-development advice from an alcoholic in his late 30's who dresses like those cats who search for lost treasure on the beach? This is what the game has come too?
![[Image: t1larg.higginbotham.beach.courtesy.jpg]](http://i.cdn.turner.com/cnn/2011/TRAVEL/06/17/beach.metal.detecting/t1larg.higginbotham.beach.courtesy.jpg)
Sike naw seems like a cool dude and he is totally right this is about 60% of men's "game" and it usually works.
I couldn't personally take that many shots in a row and be coherent but I get his main point and he is a funny dude. "I just talked to my producer..." Lol.
It's also funny he thought he invited the phrase "beer goggles" or as he calls it "beer glasses" LOL
Sike naw seems like a cool dude and he is totally right this is about 60% of men's "game" and it usually works.
I couldn't personally take that many shots in a row and be coherent but I get his main point and he is a funny dude. "I just talked to my producer..." Lol.
It's also funny he thought he invited the phrase "beer goggles" or as he calls it "beer glasses" LOL
Your thread title is "using alcohol to cure approach anxiety"
This is a FACT: alcohol does NOT "cure" anything. Ever.
Alcohol alleviates on a very temporary basis social anxiety because it lower inhibitions. But it does NOT cure it.
If you want a long-term CURE, you have to put in the work. There's no such thing as a magic pill cure for anything.
This is a FACT: alcohol does NOT "cure" anything. Ever.
Alcohol alleviates on a very temporary basis social anxiety because it lower inhibitions. But it does NOT cure it.
If you want a long-term CURE, you have to put in the work. There's no such thing as a magic pill cure for anything.
All this thread is doing is encouraging guys to build a dependence on something that's not good for their overall health, and depending on the situation, won't be readily available.
You can't have a drink in your hand when you see a girl you'd like to get to know at a bookstore, the post office, the grocery store, etc. If you have this dependence on "liquor courage" to run game, you'll miss out on opportunities.
People want alcohol at meat market venues like bars and nightclubs because they need lower inhibitions to go after casual sex from strangers who they find sexually attractive.
If one needs a drink just to ask for a chick's phone number so you two can talk at a later time, then that's a serious problem one needs to iron out.
If you're going to drink, drink because that's something you actually like to do, don't drink because it helps you have balls, and then when you're not the drunk dude with balls, you're the sober dude who doesn't really have any game, and you get exposed.
You can't have a drink in your hand when you see a girl you'd like to get to know at a bookstore, the post office, the grocery store, etc. If you have this dependence on "liquor courage" to run game, you'll miss out on opportunities.
People want alcohol at meat market venues like bars and nightclubs because they need lower inhibitions to go after casual sex from strangers who they find sexually attractive.
If one needs a drink just to ask for a chick's phone number so you two can talk at a later time, then that's a serious problem one needs to iron out.
If you're going to drink, drink because that's something you actually like to do, don't drink because it helps you have balls, and then when you're not the drunk dude with balls, you're the sober dude who doesn't really have any game, and you get exposed.
I drink when i game. I can do it sober but i'm not as effective.
Drink in moderation but not to excess. I would say 3 drinks max in general but can be 4 if you are 6'4 250lbs.
In general I have a really hard time socializing with people I don't know unless I've had a stiff drink or two. (Edit: Actually I was thinking of mainly professional networking events but this could apply to a Woman that I am only moderately attracted to. If I am insanely attracted I will approach regardless although I am not single now ) I have only met 1 out of 10 people who aren't the exact same way in North America at least. There are certain people I open up to sober but they are few and far in-between. I have to say it's probably region specific. When I was living in Costa Rica I rarely got drunk ever because I had a lot of fun getting to know people sober. In general people in tropical regions are much warmer and easier to talk to for obvious reasons.
In big cities like NYC which is where I am now even during the Summer there is a kind of "coolness" that has to be penetrated first. So I am really of the belief it depends where you are. I just came back from Kanto area Japan and it's sort of the same. Unless it's your family or friends you will need to get people almost drunk to open up. But according to members of this board the Kansai area people are more warm and friendly. So it varies by culture, geography, region within a country and whether it's a big city or suburb/smaller town.
Then again we have been using alcohol to celebrate among close loved ones for millenia so it's not just a social crutch, but it helps us open our mind and think more creatively sometimes. In others, it doesn't change how they think at all. I guess it depends on your biology as well. Many factors at play here.
In general I have a really hard time socializing with people I don't know unless I've had a stiff drink or two. (Edit: Actually I was thinking of mainly professional networking events but this could apply to a Woman that I am only moderately attracted to. If I am insanely attracted I will approach regardless although I am not single now ) I have only met 1 out of 10 people who aren't the exact same way in North America at least. There are certain people I open up to sober but they are few and far in-between. I have to say it's probably region specific. When I was living in Costa Rica I rarely got drunk ever because I had a lot of fun getting to know people sober. In general people in tropical regions are much warmer and easier to talk to for obvious reasons.
In big cities like NYC which is where I am now even during the Summer there is a kind of "coolness" that has to be penetrated first. So I am really of the belief it depends where you are. I just came back from Kanto area Japan and it's sort of the same. Unless it's your family or friends you will need to get people almost drunk to open up. But according to members of this board the Kansai area people are more warm and friendly. So it varies by culture, geography, region within a country and whether it's a big city or suburb/smaller town.
Then again we have been using alcohol to celebrate among close loved ones for millenia so it's not just a social crutch, but it helps us open our mind and think more creatively sometimes. In others, it doesn't change how they think at all. I guess it depends on your biology as well. Many factors at play here.
I find that too much drinking makes my game worse. I typically try not to have more than 2 drinks when I go out. If I'm at a party thrown by someone I know then I may or may not drink more since I've already got some social proof and can often pull girls a bit easier. And like BrazilianCocaine said, it depends on the culture of the people and how open they are to strangers. There are some people who function just fine talking among themselves but go stupid when a stranger politely approaches them (which is partially what makes solo game a bit tricky).
I respect those who can game sober and I shake my head at people who need to get blacked out drunk just to communicate with a fat chick at a bar. However, I do like to drink socially and, in moderation, think it is an excellent social lubricant that no one should be shamed for using for girls, business, or anything really.
Getting over approach anxiety via sober "training" is a wonderful thing that I believe will make every shy/introverted/nervous guy much happier in the long run by boosting confidence is nerve-wracking situations. Talking to hot girls while sober is the most effective form of this training since they tend to give men the most anxiety. It's comparable to those who are terrified of public speaking taking a course to help them face his or her fear.
Training in sober gaming, public speaking, high pressure sales, etc. will help prepare you for situations when you need those skills. However, it doesn't make any of those things more fun. Having sex and interacting with women, unlike many other things in life, are supposed to be fun 100% of the time. Once your game improves to the point where you KNOW you can get laid when you actually try, why would you do something that isn't enjoyable?
That being said, everyone enjoys different things and has different levels of tolerance for being in places with a lot of drunk/high people. I like going to EDM festivals sober, fucked up, and everywhere in between. Being sober at a dive bar at 1am on a Satuday sounds like cruel and unusual punishment to me. Being at that same bar 5+ drinks deep sounds like a good time.
Bottom line: solid sober night game and/or direct day game are very nice skills to have, but abstaining from drugs and alcohol does not make you superior to men who choose to use them.
Getting over approach anxiety via sober "training" is a wonderful thing that I believe will make every shy/introverted/nervous guy much happier in the long run by boosting confidence is nerve-wracking situations. Talking to hot girls while sober is the most effective form of this training since they tend to give men the most anxiety. It's comparable to those who are terrified of public speaking taking a course to help them face his or her fear.
Training in sober gaming, public speaking, high pressure sales, etc. will help prepare you for situations when you need those skills. However, it doesn't make any of those things more fun. Having sex and interacting with women, unlike many other things in life, are supposed to be fun 100% of the time. Once your game improves to the point where you KNOW you can get laid when you actually try, why would you do something that isn't enjoyable?
That being said, everyone enjoys different things and has different levels of tolerance for being in places with a lot of drunk/high people. I like going to EDM festivals sober, fucked up, and everywhere in between. Being sober at a dive bar at 1am on a Satuday sounds like cruel and unusual punishment to me. Being at that same bar 5+ drinks deep sounds like a good time.
Bottom line: solid sober night game and/or direct day game are very nice skills to have, but abstaining from drugs and alcohol does not make you superior to men who choose to use them.
In the op's video the guy encourages having around 5+ drinks before he even speaks to a girl. That's probably at least a 50$ approach. I mainly stick to day game but occasionally go out at night. I find that I have an easier time approaching a girl in the day it was from failure and successes that I gained some comfort, but I still get anxious from time to time, especially in crowded areas or girls in groups. As for night game, I tend to drink too much, end up smoking, and spending money that could have been saved. I'm sticking to day game but I plan on going to bars and clubs, staying sober, and learning how to game at night without drinking. When I get this down I'd be more comfortable going out at night.
If you can't talk to a stranger when you're sober and get a conversation going, you need to do some work on yourself.
You think you're better company when you drink if you rely on it but you aren't by a long way.
You think you're better company when you drink if you rely on it but you aren't by a long way.
Quote: (06-07-2015 04:35 AM)Lizard King Wrote:
If you can't talk to a stranger when you're sober and get a conversation going, you need to do some work on yourself.
You think you're better company when you drink if you rely on it but you aren't by a long way.
Kind of tough when everyone around you is drinking a lot (including your prospects) and depending on your intelligence level (the more IQ/EQ you have the worse off you are in regards to this) you will have varying levels of patience for this type of crowd without being at least somewhat inebriated.
Imagine going through freshman year of college entirely sober on the weekends - Probably hell on earth!
Quote: (06-07-2015 06:38 AM)BrazilianCocaine Wrote:True, and I don't think moderate alcohol use is bad in social situations like nightclubs, parties etc..
Quote: (06-07-2015 04:35 AM)Lizard King Wrote:
If you can't talk to a stranger when you're sober and get a conversation going, you need to do some work on yourself.
You think you're better company when you drink if you rely on it but you aren't by a long way.
Kind of tough when everyone around you is drinking a lot (including your prospects) and depending on your intelligence level (the more IQ/EQ you have the worse off you are in regards to this) you will have varying levels of patience for this type of crowd without being at least somewhat inebriated.
Imagine going through freshman year of college entirely sober on the weekends - Probably hell on earth!
I was referring to the way that alcohol can become a crutch for social interaction in other areas. Could you go on a date sober and drink non-alcoholic drinks? Can you approach a woman sober? Not you specifically, they're rhetorical questions.
glostic sense
This is a solid post. Alcohol doesn't "help" anything. It's either fun or it isn't. You can be miserable and still run decent game. You can be having a blast and not pull. If your drinking it should be fun in my opinion. Approaching women CAN be a great time. But it's like rappelling or diving etc., it can be scary but it's a thrill. Alcohol really won't dull your fears in the long run. But your fears shouldn't be dulled. A man who has no adrenaline spike when he's approaching probably isn't even having fun at that point.
I've lost way more notches because of booze than bad game.. just some food for thought
Got absolutely wasted for the first time in a long time last night. A buddy was having a going-away thing before Europe at a bar we like. I was in a sub-par mood beforehand... got wasted... then in absolutely no mood to approach... and now today I feel like shit
Anyway, I think as a general rule for newbs:
A couple of drinks to relax when out = cool
Drinking to make up for lack of confidence/ game = lame as fuck
If you can't talk to girls sober, then you should probably work on general social skills over going to bars and fucking your money away on booze
Not to say it's not fun getting smashed sometimes (especially as a young dude), but if you work on yourself before you use a crutch like alcohol your game is gonna be 100x tighter in the long run
Anyway, I think as a general rule for newbs:
A couple of drinks to relax when out = cool
Drinking to make up for lack of confidence/ game = lame as fuck
If you can't talk to girls sober, then you should probably work on general social skills over going to bars and fucking your money away on booze
Not to say it's not fun getting smashed sometimes (especially as a young dude), but if you work on yourself before you use a crutch like alcohol your game is gonna be 100x tighter in the long run
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Hey guys, I came across the following articles while I was evaluating my success in game before and after experimenting with drinking before going out (which by the way wasn't great)..
The articles below claim that one does become more sociable but only with people in your social/ethnic group. People actually become less friendly with those not in their social or ethnic group.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/a...iders.html
http://journal.frontiersin.org/article/1...00025/full
This means that drinking can actually hold you back from approaching or mingling with certain groups of women because you can perceive them in a more negative light. This might be of interest to the guys here gaming overseas with a completely different ethnic group.
The articles below claim that one does become more sociable but only with people in your social/ethnic group. People actually become less friendly with those not in their social or ethnic group.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/a...iders.html
http://journal.frontiersin.org/article/1...00025/full
This means that drinking can actually hold you back from approaching or mingling with certain groups of women because you can perceive them in a more negative light. This might be of interest to the guys here gaming overseas with a completely different ethnic group.
If it was up to me I would make alcohol illegal.
Don't debate me.
Personal opinion is that drugs of any kind can never fix the real problem.
I believe most social anxiety is rooted in a fear of the other person "getting the upper hand" - e.x. if the other person disses you and you don't know how to respond, you feel like a 'bitch'; unfortunately a lot of guys don't know any other options on how to respond to a rejection other than ignore it (which feels like accepting bitch-dom) or respond with a verbal attack (which is a bad idea in a lot of situations and can lead to a fight).
Personally I've been studying the art of negotiation and verbal self-defenses and this is helping to release most of my anxiety; ultimately the anxiety seems to be rooted in a man feeling like he's powerless, but as long as he is able to control the situation (even if he can't guarantee the result he wants) it will go away since it's primarily just psychological/emotional rather than logical.
(Other recommendation is to watch movies with "witty characters" and see how they respond to slights or insults; basically the trick is not to fight or "attack the other person" but to be able to defend yourself in any verbal encounter).
I believe most social anxiety is rooted in a fear of the other person "getting the upper hand" - e.x. if the other person disses you and you don't know how to respond, you feel like a 'bitch'; unfortunately a lot of guys don't know any other options on how to respond to a rejection other than ignore it (which feels like accepting bitch-dom) or respond with a verbal attack (which is a bad idea in a lot of situations and can lead to a fight).
Personally I've been studying the art of negotiation and verbal self-defenses and this is helping to release most of my anxiety; ultimately the anxiety seems to be rooted in a man feeling like he's powerless, but as long as he is able to control the situation (even if he can't guarantee the result he wants) it will go away since it's primarily just psychological/emotional rather than logical.
(Other recommendation is to watch movies with "witty characters" and see how they respond to slights or insults; basically the trick is not to fight or "attack the other person" but to be able to defend yourself in any verbal encounter).
One of the best gamers I know on this forum does not drink at all.
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